


Threshold of Space

by book_world



Series: Further [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, Bullying, Death, Enterprise, F/M, Into Darkness - Freeform, Mentions of Death, Mentions of dub-con, Mentions of non-con, Professor!Spock, Star Trek - Freeform, Star Trek 2009 - Freeform, Starfleet Academy, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Violence, and a few other characters, but nothing explicit, cadet ofc, cringe parents, do these count as warnings?, further series, mentions of torture, space, stupid ex-boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 100,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27994335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/book_world/pseuds/book_world
Summary: By applying at Starfleet Academy, Carissa had hoped to start a new life. Although she wanted to be able to learn more about alien cultures, she never would have expected to get involved with her Half-Vulcan professor.Part 1 of the "Further" series
Relationships: Spock (Star Trek)/Original Female Character(s), Spock/OC
Series: Further [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050347
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. To Pass or not to Pass

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also published on FanFiction.net (account: fandomy-world) and Tumblr (account: harrypotter-and-the-onering). So not that you think I stole it because I posted it there myself.  
> Enjoy!

With a deep frown, the brunette stared at her fellow cadet who had just passed out in the captain’s chair.

“I guess that’s it then” Carissa’s fellow helmsman muttered to himself “The simulation is over” he got up with a shrug

“Wait a moment” she called “This may be a simulation, yes. But if this was real, you couldn’t just get up and leave”

“And what do you suggest we do, Wiley?” he asked

“We need an Acting Captain”

“We have no First Officer”

“Then we vote” she said “But quickly” she added, glancing at the screen to the many Klingon vessels

“If you’re so eager to complete this damned thing you do it” Carissa shrugged as some others murmured in agreement

“Is there anyone else who wants to take charge?” no one said a word “And is anyone not happy with me taking over?”

“Do whatever you want, Wiley. The examiners will stop this scenario now anyway since Evan is out, so better hurry if you want to shine”

“Then I shall take over until they declare that it is over. Now get back to your post” with a shrug, David did as she ordered. It felt strange to have that much responsibility and she was glad that this was only a simulation.

“Yes, Captain” he said mockingly as he sat back down “What are your next orders, huh? Shall we all go to a corner and cry?”

“A bit more seriousness. We are under attack” she replied and turned around to the Communication officer. “Jackson, can you reach the Kobayashi Maru?”

“I’ll try” he said and gave an affirmative answer a couple of seconds later

“Good. Ask them if their transporter is working, if not tell them to evacuate their ship”

“The Klingons would continue to fire on the pods”

“I know. But I am sure they won’t waste their time to follow all of the pods. Besides we can beam them aboard like that. Now do as I say or it’ll be too late”

“We can’t save everyone” she nodded.

“But we can try to get as many out as possible. We should start a diversionary maneuver. Let’s give these Klingons a nice taste of our Phasers.” she rubbed her hands and prepared everything before turning to the fellow helmsman

“Take evasive actions, 60 degrees to the right”

“But their shields are up, firing on them will be of no use”

“Do you think I am blind? I know that, I only want to distract them a bit to give the Maru time for the evacuation so that we can beam them aboard later on. Jackson, let us know when they are ready and sent off their first pods”

“Yes, Ma’am” Carissa couldn’t help but smile. Although she had never wanted to be Captain, it was nice to be addressed so formally. “They’re ready” Jackson informed them only two minutes later.

“Very well. Tell the transporter room to lock the signal on as many pods as possible and beam the people inside aboard”

“The Klingons are firing on us” David shouted

“Keep diverting” Carissa told the other helmsman “Let’s make it difficult for them to get us. Jackson, keep in contact with the transporter room and tell them to keep us updated as on how many crew members they could rescue.” he confirmed and did as requested.

“Shields at 47 percent. Three more hits like the others and we’re dead”

“Inform that Kobayashi Maru that we might not be able to save everyone. Maybe they should use shuttlecrafts, so that we can beam them aboard quicker and needn’t lock signals on different pods”

“Captain, they want us to stay and rescue them” Carissa bit her lip. Of course, they wanted to be saved. But they had to understand that there was no sense in staying to get them killed as well.

“Shields at 19 percent”

“That’s it. We have to leave. Head back to… the nearest space station. Transporter room, how many people could we save?”

“48” Jackson told them

“That’s not too bad” Carissa muttered more to herself “Inform the Starfleet Command we’re heading back to the station and that we could only save 48 crew members of the Kobayashi Maru” she wiped some sweat from her brow with her sleeve

“Captain, one of the ships is following us”

“Shit” she could feel the blood leaving her face “Faster. Give us everything the Trainor has”

“Aye, Aye” Jackson said but after about a minute later, his mien changed “Ma’am the Warp drive failed. We’re only running on impulse now” she got even paler.

“The Klingon vessel’s slowed down to sublight speed as well and seems to be getting ready to destroy us”

“Fuck” she took a deep breath. Although she understood why it had been programmed that it won’t work like you wanted and add complication after complication, she made a mental note to have a serious word with Spock for scaring and challenging her that much. Somehow she wished the examiners would stop the simulation so that she could get out of here.

“What now? We can’t get away and they’ll destroy us”

“Hail them. Hail them!” she shouted in panic. Jackson merely nodded and pressed some buttons

“They don’t answer”

“Then send them a message that we surrender”

“What are you planning to do?” she licked her lip

“We’re trying to bait them by telling they can have the ship. Once they lower their shields to beam on board we fire everything we got at them”

“That may work” David mused.

“No it won’t” Jackson said bitterly “Still no answer”

“Tell them we can have the ship, which means they can get to the station without being noticed. Try it on every frequency we’ve got. They need to answer!” she got up and pressed a button on the arm rest of the Captain’s chair

“Crew of the USS Trainor. We need to evacuate the ship” she repeated the order before sitting down at the helm control “That applies for you as well. Out with you” she told the bridge crew. David and his friend got up, the rest remained seated.

“I’m still trying to reach them” Jackson explained. “But I’m pessimistic about it” another thundering noise and blinking lights told them that the Trainor had been hit again.

“The shields are down. The next hit will destroy us”

“Leave too. I’ll try to distract them a little longer” she took David’s seat and tried to dodge a little

“That won’t work with impulse drive”

“I know. But I can’t just sit here… and I ordered you to go and save yourself”

“What’s going on?” she heard a slurry voice behind her and Carissa saw Evan getting up slowly

“Well you passed out and I took over the bridge and as it seems we’re all gonna die now. We’re evacuating the ship” she told him “Go and get a rescue pod” he looked at her and nodded. However, he didn’t make it out because the Trainer was it one last time and all lights went out. Carissa had failed them and they all died. Shortly after the door opened and Admiral Foster stepped into the room.

“Cadet Cook.”. Evans, who was talking to David, wanting to know what had happened, looked at him

“Did I pass?”

“Yes you did pass. Pass out!” he showed him to follow with a simple head movement. “The rest may leave. Except for Cadet Wiley. You’ll come with me as well and wait in front of my office” she hung her head and got up after a nod. It seemed like she was in trouble. She shouldn’t have taken over like that. When they were going to the Admiral’s office Evan shot her angry glares more than once. Now she wished she had just followed David’s lead and left the simulation after his friend got unconscious. Once they reached the office, Admiral Foster told the male cadet to go inside before turning to her and ordering her to wait here. With a nod she leaned against the wall and let out a sigh. She really was in trouble. If only she wouldn’t be punished for what she did. It seemed like the only logical thing she could do had this been a real situation. Although, if a cadet passed out during a written exam, you couldn’t take over for them either. So it had to be a violation of the rules. But David should be here too. He was the one who had been defiant all the time and left his post before he was relieved off duty.

“Cadet Wiley” at the sound of the familiar voice she turned to see Spock, a professor and her boyfriend, coming towards her.

“Professor” she commented, smiling and holding herself back from touching him since they could be seen “What are you doing here?”

“Admiral Foster had let me know that he wanted to speak to me about the programming of the Kobayashi Maru scenario. As it seems, a cadet succeeded in finding an option which I have not considered and therefore not programmed. I would ask you what you are doing here but seeing that you have been participating in the simulation I can only conclude that Admiral Foster wanted to speak to you as well. The reasons for this, however, must be unknown to you as well”

“Yes, Sir” she said “But is an option missing good or bad? I mean isn’t it a bad sign if someone managed to… I don’t know reach the limits of the simulation?”

“It is neither. But once the addition programmed, this option may provide a whole new scenario, which would theoretically increase the chance of effectively winning by 6.3 percent”

“And what kind of addition are we speaking of?”

“I was told that Cadet Cook tried to hail the Klingons upon being alone with one of their ships. But that could not happen since I have not made an interaction with the enemy in that situation available yet” now she actually smirked

“It seems like you’re misinformed. No offence. I was the one who tried to contact the Klingons. Not Evan” he raised an eyebrow

“I must admit, I did not expect that. Since it was Cadet Cook taking the test, I figured that it had to be him as Admiral Foster did not say any names. May I ask how it came you were the one to order hailing the enemy ship?”

“Oh… Evan passed out just after we realized there suddenly were nine Klingon ships and that they started firing on us.”

“He has lost consciousness? But that would have resulted the examiner in ending the simulation”

“Well they didn’t… I mean as soon as I realized that Evan was out, I told the others they had to stay in place until we were told that it was over… so uh… it happened that I became Acting Captain and gave new orders” again he raised his eyebrow

“Then the examiners have decided to see how you were doing until the end. Now I believe I know the reason you are here. Admiral Foster must want to discuss your performance with you”

“What?” Carissa shrieked “Do-do you think they marked me?”

“It is possible. However, given the fact that you were not actually designated to take this test, I believe that they will not make this an official evaluation unless you choose to. But you did show great quality by taking over charge in such a situation” she shrugged

“But are you not mad that I… well… broke your simulation?”

“As I said, what happened is neither positive nor negative, it merely showed that I did not consider all possibilities, cadet”

“But there must have been other cadets that tried to contact the Klingons?”

“There were, but that is something I have thought of. However, you were the first one who managed to be alone with only one of the Klingon ships. It is only logical that the Klingons will behave differently when they are on their own”

“So you could contact them at the battle place but not when you’re further away because of the different reactions?”

“Exactly. As long as they have back up, Klingons would never negotiate and merely tell us their conditions for our surrender. Provided the fact they choose to not just destroy us without giving us a chance”

“This means when Jackson said we received no answer from the Klingons this was because the simulation could not provide any?”

“Correct”

“And do you think it is likely they would have agreed to take over our ship and beaming on board?”

“I would say so. While I cannot tell you how high the chances are exactly, I would estimate them to be about 73 percent, depending on how damaged the USS Trainor is at that point. However, the chance that they would kill your crew once they are on board is at 96.2 percent”

“Well I did not actually plan to let them take over the ship, Sir. I just wanted them to lower their shields so that we could fire at them and destroy them”

“That sounds logical and the chances of success are about 81.5 percent”

“So you’re saying I could have done it if you had had already programmed the option to contact the Klingons when…” the door opened and Evans walked out

“He’s asking for you” he said, not sounding very happy and shot an angry glare at her. It was not her fault he passed out, so why was he hostile towards her? After all it was his idea and request to be an actor in this simulation.

“Cadet Wiley, please come in”

“Coming, Admiral” she informed him and turned back to her boyfriend “See you later, I guess?” she asked quietly

“If I am not obliged to make the modifications right away, yes” she nodded and entered the office.

“Cadet Wiley” Foster said with a smile. Maybe Spock was right and he wasn’t mad at her after all? “Is Instructor Spock already here?”

“Yes, he arrived some minutes ago”

“Could you ask him in as well?” this made her heart sink. What if he had found out about their relationship? Or had he just heard the rumors and thought there was more to it? She’d rather be in trouble for taking over during the test. Because if he found out about the relationship id didn’t only affect her but Spock as well. She nodded and did as she was told. Her boyfriend entered and closed the door

“You have asked to see me, Admiral?”

“Indeed. I take it you know Cadet Wiley?”

“I do. She is in one of my classes” the Admiral nodded.

“Good. And you know she was supposed to take part in Cadet Cook’s Kobayashi Maru scenario?” Spock nodded “However, he passed out after mere minutes into the simulation as more and more ships arrived”

“And Cadet Wiley took over. I have been told already”

“Yes. That is the reason you are her. Because I wanted you to see her performance and tell me what you think the result would have been. After all she has tried something that was not programmed”

“Of course” he crossed his arm and when Admiral Foster showed them a video of the simulation, starting from the point where Evan passed out, Carissa wanted to drop dead. She couldn’t help but throw occasional glances to either of the males, to find out what they were thinking. Oddly, she got more information from the Vulcan’s stoic mien than from the older man. Finally, the tape ended and the brunette breathed out in relief. “Interesting” was her boyfriend’s only comment.

“What do you think would have been the outcome had she managed to contact the Klingons?”

“I am sure they would have agreed to take over the ship after Cadet Wiley told them of the opportunity to get into the station unnoticed. As for the planned destruction of the bird of prey, I cannot say if it would have succeeded before the USS Trainer would have been destroyed.”

“Alright, thank you, Commander” Admiral Foster nodded at him “I would now like to talk to Cadet Wiley alone and have a word with you again afterwards” Spock agreed and left the room.

“Am-am I in trouble because of what I did, Sir?” she asked carefully.

“You are not. Captain Thomas wanted to stop the scenario once your fellow cadet was out but when I saw that you were taking over I told him to wait. I wanted to see how you would react and I must say I am rather impressed. We had two similar cases where the cadet taking the test either left or passed out. But no other participant of the simulation had the idea to finish the mission in their stead. You showed a great sense of responsibility and your performance was indeed impressive, especially when you consider that you decided everything spontaneously since you had no time to prepare yourself for the scenario”

“So you are saying what I did was right?”

“Yes. And therefore the other examiners and I have decided to evaluate your performance if that is your wish”

“This means you will mark me and make it official?”

“Exactly. And I strongly advise you to let us do this for all I have seen you could actually pass. If not, what do you have to lose?”

“You are right, Sir” she smiled “Then I would like you to evaluate me. Although I don’t think I would ever want to be Captain. It is too much responsibility”

“No one says you have to become Captain just because you passed the Kobayashi Maru scenario”

“Oh right”

“Very well. Then I will inform the other examiners and inform you about the outcome as soon as possible” she nodded with a smile.

“I don’t need it immediately” she assured him.

“Alright. That is it from my part, Cadet Wiley. You may leave”

“Thank you, Sir. Goodbye” she nodded at him and left the room, throwing a short smile at Spock as he got called inside.

-oO0Oo-

“How was the simulation?” her best friend and dorm mate Nicole asked as they were on their way to Diplomacy class the next day “Did Evan kill you all?”

“Actually I killed us all”

“How that? Did you do something wrong?”

“No” she grinned and told her the story and her friend laughed

“So you not only brought the test to its limits but you probably also passed the whole thing?”

“Yeah”

“Instructor Spock must be fuming”

“He’s Vulcan” Carissa only said

“Right” she chuckled “But if he lets you fail his class you’ll know why”

“I don’t need him for that. I can fail by myself” she sighed. She just couldn’t get the knack of it and hated almost everything about the subject. The only thing that made the lessons bearable was the fact that Spock taught them.

“For heaven’s sake. Just go and get help. It’s of no use if you fail”

“I-I really don’t want to bother him” besides, when they started their relationship they had agreed they wouldn’t talk about anything that related to the courses so that she would not be in an advantage.

“He’s our teacher. He is obliged to help” Carissa shrugged

“I’ll see” they arrived at the classroom and talked to other classmates. Suddenly Evan appeared, angrily tapping Carissa’s shoulder.

“What did you do?”

“What? About yesterday?”

“You just took over!”

“So what? I thought if this was real that was supposed what someone should have done”

“You stole my chance”

“Look, if this had been real we couldn’t have just waited until you were conscious again. I am sure the examiners wouldn’t have paused the scenario if I had done nothing”

“I swear if you benefit from my attempt, you’ll pay”

“Mr Cook. I hope you won’t make these threats come true or you will be in serious trouble” they heard Professor Bennett’s voice behind them and shot a quick glare as he walked past the flock of cadets to open the door. Evans glared daggers at his classmate

“Your lover may have saved you this time. But I will find ways” he whispered in her ear before leaving.

“Oh God. Is he now claiming too that you have something going on with Bennett?”

“Yeah”

“Just because of your grades? Or because he’s mad?”

“No idea. But someone needs to be on top of the class. I can’t help that it’s me in most classes…”

“Well I need to admit, your grades are not just top of the class. They’re perfect almost every time. Not that I’d believe the rumors but I can understand that they think like that.” Carissa shrugged.

“Just let them talk. I don’t care. I know the truth and so do my friends” technically, her friend’s didn’t know the whole truth. Although she wasn’t dating Bennet, she still was in a relationship with another professor.

“That’s the spirit. As long as no one suspects you’re actually liaised with a professor” she felt her heart bumping

“Exactly” they entered the classroom and sat down.

-oO0Oo-

The rest of the day flew by and before she knew it, Carissa was trying to complete some homework when she saw a new message. This must be her results from the Kobayashi Maru and her heart made a leap. A part of her wanted read it now, but she decided against it, wanting to finish her homework first.

“What’s this? Got a love letter?” she was asked

“Nothing” she replied, not wanting to brag that she completed the Kobayashi Maru. But she knew that should she pass, sooner or later everyone would know. And she was quite afraid of Evan’s reaction.

“Why don’t you read?”

“I can imagine what it is. And I want to finish this first” she looked at her friend before focusing on her essay again. But Lucie just crossed her arms

“Fine, then I’ll hack into your account and read the message myself”

“Stop this” she hissed.

“Oh come on, Carry, I want to know what it says. Is it really from Admiral Foster?”

“Yes. As the name says”

“Please?” she looked at her friend with puppy eyes. Carissa sighed and read the document, ignoring her friends, exited shrieks and handclapping.

“How old are you exactly?” she shook her head but grinned. The grin disappeared when her eyes scanned the evaluation “Oh my God. Oh my God” she couldn’t help but shriek

“Good news?”

“Yes. I passed the Kobayshi Maru scenario”

“Wait what? When? How?” once again she found herself telling the story, this time with a broad smile. “That sounds fantastic. You’d make a perfect captain”

“I’m not so sure. I’d prefer to be more of an advisor. Then I don’t need to be the one making a decision”

“Fair enough” she squeezed her shoulder “Oh Carry, I can’t believe it. Not many pas this simulation. And you weren’t even prepared”

“I think they took that into consideration as well”

“What are we even sitting here?” Lucie asked and put her PADD away “Let’s go and celebrate” Carissa shrugged, throwing a glance at her essay. She would finish it later as she probably couldn’t concentrate.

-oO0Oo-

In the next morning she regretted her choice. The moment she walked into Spock’s classroom she realized that she had forgotten to finish her essay. Trying to hide in her seat, she took out her things and stared at the table. Her head only snapped up when the lesson started.

“Your essays from last week have been graded” the whole class gasped.

“Will this grade be official for the semester grade?” a classmate asked

“No, but it is for you to see how you are doing” he took a bundle of papers “please hand in your new ones within the next five minutes.” Carissa kept getting more and more nervous and she opened the corrected document. She stared at the numbers of her essay and let out a sad huff 37.7 out of 100. Nevertheless she felt a slight smirk appearing on her face, after all Spock was the only professor who used decimal places. Sluggishly, submitted her unfinished essay and raised her hand to tell the truth.

“I uh… couldn’t finish it” she admitted. The Vulcan only cocked up an eyebrow “It’s just… I’m not trying to justify anything but I got this news and well…”

“That news being?”

“Kobayashi Maru?”

“What?” Evan exclaimed “Don’t tell me you passed. That was cheating”

“Cadet Cook, I do believe this is no concern of yours” Evan mumbled something she didn’t get. “Please see me after the lesson, Cadet Cook. There is something I wish to discuss with you” obviously he must have heard what he said. Carissa bit her lip to hold back a smirk. “With you as well, Cadet Wiley” he said. When he started the lesson, she let out a small sigh of relief.

-oO0Oo-

For the remainder of the lesson she couldn’t help but dread the end of it. It really sounded like she got into trouble. Once the rest of the class was allowed to leave, Evan threw an angry look at Carissa as Spock told them to sit down in the first row.

“Cadet Cook, I expect you to explain your behavior towards your fellow cadet, Miss Wiley”

“It can’t be that she got to do this Kobayashi Maru. It was my test, not hers. This is not fair.”

“Your anger towards Cadet Wiley is out of place since none of this is her fault”

“She should have just kept her mouth shot like she always does. She stole my chance”

“Mr Cook, is it Cadet Wiley’s culpability that you lost consciousness during the simulation?” Evan shook his head and opened his mouth to speak but got cut off “Then I can only emphasize how inacceptable your behavior towards her is and I demand you to stop this. Else I will be obliged to inform my superiors of this case” Evan glared at her and she wished Spock had just let it be. He had probably only made it worse with his lecture.

“Evan look, I am sorry” she said “I never meant to steal the show or whatever”

“Then why did you take charge?”

“I just wanted David to wait until it was over officially. But let’s assume this would have been a real situation and your Captain passed out. Would you do something or just sit there and wait?”

“But it’s just a damned simulation. That’s the fucking point”

“There is no need for such foul language, Cadet” Spock reminded him “Besides your classmate is correct. It could have been real. Then everyone expects you to show responsibility, even if you are not a Captain. Cadet Wiley did exactly that and I daresay this is the reason that she has passed. Though her splendid approach must have had something to do with it as well” why, oh why couldn’t he just shut up? Did he not see he was making everything worse? Carissa wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Teacher’s pet” she heard Evans mutter and she clenched her fists. It probably wouldn’t have affected her that much if it had been any other professor. Luckily her boyfriend kept quiet this time and the brunette had the impression he did not even know what the words meant.

“Professor” she said, looking at Spock “thank you for your help but I think I can handle him by myself. He’ll just be mad at me for a little time but it will pass. After all we never had a problem before”

“If you say so” she nodded. “Cadet Cook, you are free to leave” Evan jerked up and wanted to storm out of the room “But be warned. If I hear of any other nastiness towards your classmate I will take action as I cannot tolerate such behavior” he stared after him until Evan left the classroom and closed the door before he turned to his girlfriend

“That wasn’t necessary” she mumbled

“He had no right to treat you like this. Besides, his hatred towards you is highly illogical because none of what happened is your fault”

“Well tell him. He’s just…”

“Acting out of fierce emotions”

“Yeah” she chuckled “dead on”

“However,” he continued “I wanted to talk about your latest essay, cadet”

“The one I forgot?” she asked shyly

“No, not that one. The one I have corrected”

“Oh right. But… am I in trouble because I didn’t finish the other?” he raised an eyebrow

“This is your first time neglecting homework, thus there will be no consequences. In case it happens again, you will need to complete supplementary work or any other form of compensation”

“Okay, thank you Sir” she breathed out in relief. “And what about the other essay?”

“I could not help but notice that your essays are getting and getting worse. If you do not change something you will fail this course”

“I uh…” she swallowed “I don’t really get the hang of this”

“Are you trying to say that you have difficulties in understanding the subject?”

“A bit more maybe. I’m clueless” she admitted

“And why did you not consult me?”

“I-I thought… when we got together” she looked at him “you said that we mustn’t talk about topics that are related to classes and all. So I tried to teach myself by reading books. But that didn’t help”

“I would have gladly taught you anything you wanted to know if you had just asked. Just because I am with you does not mean that I would not tutor you if necessary. When I said this, I meant that I cannot tell you more about the exams or any other matters that could give you an advantage”

“Well, I guess I didn’t want to bother you”

“Bother me? You would not be the first cadet I am tutoring. Moreover, I am teaching advanced topics to cadets who wish it.”

“So this means you will help me?”

“That would be the only logical thing to do” she nodded with a bright smile

“Thank you”

“But I will contact a few of your classmates as I have seen that some others seem to have troubles as well”

“Sure. It’s better to learn in a group anyway. Besides, then I won’t feel so strange when it’s just us. I mean, then it doesn’t feel like you don’t waste your time on me”

“Carissa” he said softly “Any time I spend with you is not wasted” she giggled at his sudden informality.

“And why again did you think you can’t be romantic? This might be the cutest thing anyone’s ever said to me”

“Then I suppose it is good to hear that telling you this simple fact has made you feel happiness”

“Of course it makes me happy. And do you know what else makes me happy? Being with you” since this was now getting a bit strange when she sat at a desk and he was standing in front of her, Carissa got up as well. A part of her wanted to touch him but they were in a classroom and anyone could come in any moment so she held herself back.

“Are you getting ready to leave?”

“Maybe”

“There are only 6 minutes and 23 seconds left until the next class starts. So maybe it would be best if you headed there. My next cadets should arrive soon as well”

“Oh sure” she said, grabbing her bag. “See you around I guess? Or at the tutoring?” he nodded

“I will let you know when I have gotten into contact with the other cadets to let you know about time and setting for the tutoring” now she couldn’t help but place a hand on his arm

“Thank you”

“I see no point in thanking me since this proposal bases on logical conclusion and thoughts”

“It means a lot to me anyway” she replied “so thank you” she gently squeezed his arm before pulling back and leaving the classroom.

-oO0Oo-

Much to her surprise, Evan actually left her alone. Sure, he mentioned the matter another few times in the following days but he seemed to have calmed down after a week. Carissa had the impression that word about her success at the Kobayashi Maru scenario had gotten around and she had the feeling as if everyone from her year who wanted to take the test wanted to have her on board. Since she found it a good way to learn more about the life on the bridge, she mostly agreed, unless she didn’t like the cadets at all. She was a little surprised, when suddenly someone a year above wanted to have her participating in her test. And after that, also a few other people from years above hers asked her to join them. If she was honest, Carissa didn’t like the attention too much. Somehow she had the feeling as if she was something like a mascot for them.

One day, as she was sitting outside, an older cadet plopped down on the bench next to her

“You’re Clarissa Riley, right?”

“Carissa Wiley” she corrected. He wasn’t the first one to get her name wrong.

“Well anyway. You’re the one who somehow beat the Kobayashi Maru test. How did you do it?”

“I just made the right choices” she replied “and as you might have heard, I wasn’t actually supposed the test. I took over”

“So you cheated?”

“Hell no”

“But I heard the test had to be reprogrammed after you took it”

“It didn’t had to be reprogrammed. They only had to add another feature. I just was unlucky enough to be the one to find out. But I was told, if the feature had been there, my chances of surviving would have been quite high”

“Nevertheless, you passed”

“So what?”

“I heard you’ve taken a liking to take part in other cadet’s test”

“Yeah?”

“Would you to me the honor to join me for my attempt?”

“Okay, why not? When?”

“In two days at 11AM. You know where.” only after he left Carissa realized that she didn’t even get his name.

-oO0Oo-

Only about half a minute after the simulation had started, she regretted her choice to participate as an actor. He seemed too confident of himself and didn’t take it serious at all. Obviously she wasn’t the only one who wanted to slap him.

“So what are we gonna do about the Klingons?” Carissa asked, suppressing a sigh

“Oh just leave it all with me, sweetheart”

“Excuse me?”

“Three more Klingon vessels are approaching”

“Alright. Inform the Med Bay to take all the injured from the other ship”

“Shouldn’t we do something about the Klingons first?” Carissa wanted to know, already sensing they would be destroyed any minute.

“Captain, love, you forgot the Captain”

“You can’t be serious, Captain” she sneered “We could die any moment and all you can think of is your title, which you don’t even have by the way and won’t get if you continue like that”

“I didn’t invite you here to be such a spoilsport” he pouted. She was that close to choking him. “But you are right, we could die any moment” he walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She glared at the hand as if she could burn a hole into it. “So why not…”

“Captain! Shields are only at fifty percent. Maybe we should fire back?”

“Nah” suddenly the power went out

“This can’t be, we can’t have lost already.” Carissa said. Or were the examiners fed up and stopped the simulation? Suddenly the power came back on.

“Oh no, don’t worry, sweetie. Now the real fun begins.” he said with a smirk as he plopped down in the Captain’s chair again and bit into an apple. “Open fire! Let’s send this bastards to hell”

“Jim, their shields are still up”

“Are they?”

“No”

“So what are you waiting for, sweetheart? Destroy them” the cadet called Jim said and winked at her “The sooner this is over, the sooner we two…”

“Captain!” she protested “I hope you know that I have a boyfriend” she blurted out. This actually was the first time she mentioned this to anyone. If only no one asked questions… with a sigh she did as he requested and locked target on the birds of prey. It all went smoothly and not even a minute later all Klingon ships were gone.

“Now we can start the rescue mission” everyone started at him as Jim got up “Let’s sum this up… we have destroyed all enemy ships, no one on board was injured and we can now save the crew of the Kobayashi Maru” Carissa stared at the buttons in front of her. She had participated in more than 18 simulations in the past months. And it had never been that easy. Something was wrong. No one ever managed that much. The simulation went off and the participants were allowed to leave. After stepping outside, she saw Spock marching past her, looking puzzled if not irritated. Suddenly Jim’s behavior towards her during the simulation. He had touched her and flirted with her. She could have slapped herself, he must be jealous. If that even was a thing among Vulcans…


	2. The First Mission

Apparently half of the academy knew about Jims test only hours later. There were rumors that he had cheated and before she knew it, also she was accused of cheating. All looks were on her wherever she went, so that she decided not to join her friends in the library this evening but went to her dorm instead. Her black tomcat was sitting on her bed as if he had waited for her.

“Oh Nero” she sighed, sitting down on the bed to pet him “What would I do without you? At times I feel like you’re the only one who doesn’t judge me” he let out a soft meow “Everyone hates me. What did I do wrong?” suddenly there were tears in her eyes and she cursed herself. Before she had known her boyfriend, she never made a fuss about it but since she was with him she regularly caught herself feeling ashamed for showing emotion. The thought of Spock made her feel even worse. In her mind she saw him marching past her again and she was sure something was odd about him.

She must have missed dinner but she didn’t care. As long as she wouldn’t see the other cadets she was fine. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Instantly, she went silent, hoping whoever was there would leave.

“Carissa?” at the sound of the male voice she almost jumped. For a second she considered sending him away but curiosity of why he was here got the better of her and she opened the door slightly

“Spock” she whispered, wiping her eyes

“What has happened to upset you?”

“Nothing” she lied

“I may do not know much about emotion but you have been crying which indicates that you are sad. May I come in?” not having the heart to say no, she only opened the door and stepped aside. “Would you care to tell me what is bothering you?”

“Just everything” she sobbed, feeling more tears in her eyes. Somehow he didn’t sound mad. Maybe he had not come to confront here about Jim’s behavior during the simulation?

“Define everything”

“Everything that happened today… the test, Jim, the whispers behind by back…” she crossed her arms and sat down on the bed, her boyfriend following her shortly after. Nero climbed onto the bed as well and curled up in Spock’s lap. The picture made the corners of her mouth twitch, especially when her boyfriend stared down at the animal before gently caressing it behind the ears. “I guess Nero likes you a lot” she chuckled, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her uniform

“It appears so” for a while they remained silent and she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I do no mean to constrain you but could you expand on your explanation?”

“I well…” she sighed “I do not know what happened during the simulation but I am sure that something was not right… and now the others accuse me of having cheated during my own test. B-besides I thought you are mad at me because Jim was so… flirty with during the simulation and I just can’t anymore”

“I was not aware of Cadet Kirk’s behavior towards you but rest assured that I will hold him accountable if he made you feel uncomfortable in any way”

“No I did not mind. I-I mean I did but it wasn’t that bad. But you looked so… mad when you left the observation room” he shook his head

“I was merely determined to find out what Cadet Kirk had done to beat the simulation. It was not my intention to make you think I could have a feeling of anger, especially not directed at you” his fingertips brushed against her temple as he pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“Do you know what happened? I mean… did Jim Kirk really cheat?”

“I am not supposed to talk about this with you”

“Right, sorry” she fell into silence “But what if he did and I get into trouble for this?”

“You worry too much. More than is good for humans. It would be nonessential for you to alter the situation of the simulation since you could not gain anything from this”

“A-and what if they start to think I cheated myself and I get in trouble?”

“What makes you conclude such an illogical thing?” at this, Carissa started chuckling. She realized how silly this idea actually was.

“Don’t know” she muttered and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder “What would I just do without you and your logic?” thinking of logic she suddenly remembered that he must have had a reason to come here, so she asked about it.

“I have overheard your friends talking and wondering where you had gone. So I tried to ascertain places where you could be and came to the conclusion that you must have sought quiet. And this was the place where you would find what you sought.” she let out a small giggle

“That you could find me means I must have acted logically. That’s good to hear”

As it turned out Jim Kirk had indeed cheated during the simulation, so a hearing was convoked and Carissa had a feeling as if almost every cadet was here. Somehow she felt sorry for Jim, she couldn’t imagine how this must be for him and now everyone was listening. At least it would remind her to never even try cheating if this was the result of it. Upon being called forward, Jim insisted on his right to speak with his accuser. At first Carissa was more than surprised to find out said person was none other than her boyfriend. Although, when she started to think about it, it made sense. He knew the simulation better than anyone else so he’d be the first one to notice if something had been changed. It also relieved her because she knew that if Spock was responsible for the case, she wasn’t in trouble. Not because of their relationship but because he had already assured her that blaming her would make no sense. As it seemed, Jim did not even feel guilty for anything and just put the blame on others, mainly the Vulcan for making the simulation unwinnable. He just didn’t get it. The Kobayashi Maru wasn’t about winning. It was to see how you’d react in such a situation. This was something she had learned when doing the test herself. You could easily forget how vulnerable you were so it was best to see this even before you commanded a real ship. No wonder Jim hadn’t passed his previous attempts on the test if he had this attitude. Just in that moment, Spock told Jim exactly that and Carissa had the feeling the two males were getting into an argument.

“Instead you conducted yourself as if this was not an emergency but rather a leisure trip. In addition, your social interaction with your crew was inopportune as you started flirting with two of the females” so maybe he had indeed gotten jealous...

“I head they have no feelings on Vulcan, so what would you know of women and love?” that definitely was a strike below the belt. Swallowing, she clenched her fist as she waited for her boyfriend’s reaction. But before he could say anything, someone approached the committee and handed them something, whereupon the Admiral leading the inquiry told them of a distress call they had received from Vulcan. Carissa saw Spock freeze and she too felt her heart bumping against her ribs. All cadets were ordered to Hangar one since the primary fleet was not available. The brunette shot up but by the time her sight to the front of the room was clear again, she couldn’t see Spock anywhere.

After all cadets were in Hangar one, everyone was told to which ship they had to go. Carissa waited for her name to be called but there was nothing. Not even “Riley Clarissa” had been called, which had happened before.

“Excuse me?” she asked the first instructor she saw “I believe my name’s not on the list. Wiley Carissa. W and Carissa without an L” he looked at her and checked something on his PADD.

“Alright…” he typed something “The Odyssey it is then”

“Thank you, Sir” before going to the right shuttlecraft, she just had to see her boyfriend to make sure he was alright. It wasn’t easy to find him but once she did, she suddenly wasn’t so sure what to say. They were in public after all.

“Cadet Wiley” he said “What are you doing here?”

“I uh…” she had no idea what to say next, so she spoke the first thing that came to her mind. “Is there anything I can do?” he raised an eyebrow

“How do you mean that?”

“I mean besides getting onto that ship and help”

“What ship were you assigned to?” there was surprise in his voice

“The Odyssey” he too looked onto his PADD and seemed a little upset or confused.

“Who assigned you and at what time?”

“An instructor, mere minutes ago. No idea who it was. Why are you asking?” she crossed her arms when it suddenly made sense “Wait a second… my name wasn’t called because it wasn’t on the list... Did you see to that because you don’t want me out there?” she hissed.

“It could be dangerous for all we know and I will not risk it”

“God damn it. In case you didn’t realize… I applied here because I wanted to be out there, in space. So don’t think you have the right to make such decisions”

“You are not experienced enough, as you are only in your second year, so my decision was based on logic”

“Yeah, just keep yourself telling that. I bet it was based on something completely else” she muttered, glaring at him.

“Is there a problem, Commander? Cadet?” she turned around to see Captain Pike behind her.

“No there is not” Spock replied

“Actually, Sir, the Commander just told me it was better if I stayed behind since I am only in my second year. But I didn’t want to waste this opportunity to go on a mission and profit from it, even if there isn’t much I can do. Besides, I am sure that I have seen some of my classmates getting onto another shuttlecraft earlier” she looked at him “But maybe the Commander is right and I should leave and get my classmates back as well seeing as we are not experienced enough to go out there…”

“That will not be necessary” Pike said “We can need all the help we can get. It is good if you are willing to come with us to profit from this mission. Are you already assigned to a ship?” behind her she heard the faint sound of typing on a PADD

“The Enterprise” Spock replied “I have just assigned her” he could be a sneaky bastard if he wanted to, Carissa thought.

“Very well then” Pike said and walked towards the shuttlecraft. Carissa did the same but not before throwing a triumphant look at the Vulcan. Of course she was feeling a little strange, this would be her first time on a real spaceship after all. Somehow she felt excited to be on the Enterprise, after all this would be the first time it went into space, just like her. The shuttle left the ground and she looked back but only until she could see the ships and started to stare at them in awe. There was already a lot going on when she stepped onto the Enterprise and suddenly she felt helpless and had no idea what to do. She didn’t even know where she was supposed to go. Luckily, someone must have noticed her standing around and asked if he could help her.

“Well I must admit I have no idea what I’m supposed to do… I wasn’t told what part of the ship I was assigned to. Or what department”

“Let me check this out. Name?”

“Wiley, Carissa”

“Bridge” came the answer. She frowned slightly. Why would she be appointed to the bridge on her first journey to space? But suddenly she remembered who put her on this ship in the first place. He must have wanted to have her around so that he could at least have an eye on her. At the thought of her boyfriend being worried about her safety she smiled. “But maybe you want to get changed first?”

“Oh right” she nodded and headed to the direction she was told. Inside the changing room she met two other cadets, one from her year and another who was older.

“Hi” they greeted quickly and Carissa wasn’t so sure what color she was supposed to take. Yellow was reserved for command and blue for the science department. Since her major was in Exobiology she figured blue couldn’t hurt. On the other hand, red probably was the better since that covered more different jobs and she had no idea what she would be doing on the bridge. That also was the moment she regretted not asking the man who had told her to go there where exactly Spock had assigned her to on the bridge. So after putting on a red uniform she had to find the bridge and started looking for the lift. Once she had found it, she got in, said where to go and waited as the lift bring her up. The doors opened and she couldn’t help but stare at the room in awe. It looked so much nicer than the fake-bridge of the Kobayashi Maru simulation. In her fascination she didn’t notice the door of the turbolift closing. Only when it squashed her arm did she snap out of her thoughts

“Ouch” then she chuckled. That wasn’t so untypical of her, given her rather clumsy nature. She stepped away from the doors and scanned the room, this time hoping to find out what she could do.

“Karissa” her head turned and she smiled when she saw Pavel, who she knew from some classes. “Vat are you doing chere?”

“I was sent to clean this ship of pests of all kind. You wouldn’t have happened to seen any?” he shook his head and grinned.

“Cadet Wiley” she turned around to see Pike standing there

“Captain” she said sheepishly, feeling like she had been caught with the hand in the cookie jar “I… uhm didn’t know what post I was assigned to” she explained.

“I believe most of them are already occupied. But you are welcome to assist anyone of your choice. After all there isn’t much you could do anyways.” she gave a nod somehow she wanted to watch the navigator as that was her favorite part in the simulations. For a short time she considered doing something else, maybe communication, but then chose to sit next to Pavel to have a nice view at the big screen. In the following minutes, everyone else arrived and then Pike gave the order to launch the ship. Her fingers dug into the seating surface of her chair as they left the dock. The Captain ordered to go to Warp and she felt her stomach clench. That would get interesting and she had to admit she was quite nervous about it. But oddly, nothing happened

“Why did we get the raddled one?” Carissa muttered, though she was a bit relieved that they weren’t zooming away like the other ships did. Fortunately, (or not maybe) Spock seemed to know what the problem was and with a few touches of a button everything was in order and the ship went into Warp. The brunette only got about the first few seconds of it, before she passed out from the excitement and the pressure on her body.

-oO0Oo-

At first she had no idea where she was, then it dawned on her that she was on a spaceship, on her way to Vulcan.

“Welcome back, cadet” she turned back to see the Captain looking at her with an unidentifiable mien.

“Oh no” she moaned “What-what happened… did I miss a lot? I’m sorry, so sorry”

“That can happen” he assured her “I guess you have never been to space before?”

“No, Sir. Only on shuttlecrafts. But that’s nothing in contrast to this” he gave a nod. Carissa leant to Pavel to ask him what had been going on in the time she was out, which wasn’t much. In fact she had not missed anything but a few details on their job which Pavel told her now. Suddenly the doors of the turbolift opened and Jim Kirk stormed in- followed by his friend- and ordered to stop the ship. She frowned. What exactly was wrong with him? He looked like he was sick. At least he wasn’t so calm this time and seemed very upset about something. It turned out to be the fact that he believed the planet they were going to was being attacked. Carissa threw a glance to her boyfriend who only stared at the newcomer with a not so happy mien. Then he tried to interfere and somehow she had the impression that he wanted Kirk removed from the ship as quickly as possible. A part of her wished he’d at least leave the bridge because she didn’t want to hear anything about an attack. But then Jim started telling them what he knew and the more he talked, the sicker Carissa felt.

In the end, even the Vulcan seemed convinced what robbed her of her last hope that Jim could be wrong. She took a deep breath and told herself to calm down, she couldn’t pass out again. They were in advantage. They had several ships and the Romulans had only one as it seemed. A big one though but still.

“Shields up, red alert” Pike decided before they arrived at Vulcan and got out of Warp. What she saw made her wish she had passed out now and not earlier. Parts of destroyed ships were right in front of them. At first there was only the fear they could collide with one of them, then she realized this were Starfleet ships. People she knew were dead. As if that wasn’t enough, she fell out of her chair as they made evasive maneuvers to stay away from the debris of the other ships. But she was glad that she wasn’t actually assigned a task because she knew if he had had control over the helm, they would have been dead by now. If only she had stayed back in San Francisco. And this was only the beginning. The chance that the Romulans were still alive was very high. Of course she was right and only seconds later said ship appeared in front of them. It looked odd, like an octopus with way too many tentacles. They were already firing at the Enterprise and Carissa had to fight the urge to grab Pavel’s arm to comfort herself. He needed to focus or else they would be lost.

“It’s just the Kobayashi Maru. Just a simulation” she started muttering to herself “They’ve upgraded the module that it moves. It’s just a simulation” it helped and she found herself calming down. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before opening them again. Soon she felt bad because everyone seemed to be doing something and she was just sitting around.

“Captain, we’re being hailed” Uhura suddenly said.

“But I thought all forms of communication were blocked?” Carissa said with a frown.

“It appears like only…” Spock started but got quiet when the picture of the main screen changed and their enemy greeted them in a casual way. Pike asked the question everyone had been asking themselves, who the Romulan was

“Hi Christopher. I’m Nero” at this, she couldn’t help but snort with laughter. Not just because of the way he introduced himself but because of the name as well. Suddenly he didn’t seem that dangerous anymore as he reminded her of her cat Nero. Trying to be diplomatic, the Captain warned Nero to withdraw his ship from here or they had to regard it as an act of war against the Federation. Unfortunately, Nero didn’t seem to care.

“The Empire and I stand apart. As does your Vulcan crew member. Isn’t that right, Spock?” Carissa turned to her boyfriend, who came closer and told their enemy that they were not acquainted. “No we’re not, not yet” somehow, Carissa had the feeling she could do without getting to know him “And you must be Carissa” her head shot up to the screen.

“How do you know me?”

“I’ve done some research. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person” that guy was creepy like hell. She saw a movement from the corner of her eye and when she turned around she saw that Spock had moved directly behind her chair and gripped its backrest. Obviously he liked this as little as her. “Spock, there is something I would like you to see. Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled. Don’t try to resist me, the rest of your armada should be proof enough that you have no choice or chance. You will man a shuttle and come aboard the Narada for negotiations. And take Carissa with you, please” she gasped. That couldn’t mean anything good. How did he know her and what did he want?

“May I point out that Cadet Wiley is only a second-year cadet at the Starfleet Academy? I doubt she will be of any use to you” Spock said and she wanted nothing more than to be closer to him.

“No Spock, she is exactly who I want and I know she will be of great use”

“I don’t even know you”

“And I don’t know you. But I have a feeling we will get along. That is all” he ended the communication. Carissa stared at her hands as she felt her lip tremble. She didn’t want to go there but she knew that if she didn’t, she’d put the rest of the crew into danger. For some reason she was not angry at Nero, she was angry at herself for insisting to come to this mission. Pike got up and walked over to the female who tried to hide in her chair.

“He will kill you, he will kill you both” Jim pointed out. “It would be a mistake to go there” Spock agreed and suggested to overthink the strategy.

“I understand. I need officers who have training in hand-to-hand combat” Sulu put his hand up, whereupon Pike told him to follow and requested the same from Jim. Sluggishly, Carissa got up as well but couldn’t really keep herself on her feet due to her wobbly legs. Thankfully, Spock was still there and carefully supported her. She tried to cling to him but not too obvious and just leaned against him for the greater part of their walk although she felt fine after reaching the lift. She just didn’t want to be alone. Pike explained his plan to the others, they had to destroy the thing that blocked their communication and transport. “Beam back aboard and contact Starfleet to tell them what is going on. If needs must, fall back and meet the rest of the fleet in the Laurentian system. Kirk, you’re promoted to First Officer” when he protested, Spock let go of her, which probably was for the best because she doubted she could have done so when needed.

“Captain should we try beaming you and Cadet Wiley on board of the Enterprise once the drill is taken out?” Spock asked

“Yes. Or come and get us if you can” as the doors of the lift closed, she felt a pang in her chest. She couldn’t even say goodbye. What if this was the last time she had seen her boyfriend? Instantly she slapped her own face. She couldn’t think like that. She had to survive. Nero knew her, which meant he wanted something from her, he couldn’t just kill her. At least not yet and until then she could be in safety again. They got into the shuttle and Pike steered it towards the Narada. In order to distract herself, Carissa watched him and tried to figure out if steering the shuttle was anything near like being at the helm of a spaceship. The three other males got ready for the drop off to the platform of the drill and got last instructions from the Captain. For some reason Carissa would have rather joined them than Pike. At least they had their lives in their own hands not were not at the mercy of the Romulans. Too soon for her liking they arrived on the enemy ship and as soon as the doors of their shuttle opened, Carissa was restrained by two Romulans, as was the Captain. They were dragged to a round room with what reminded her of a throne. So this must be the bridge. She recognized the Romulan in the Captain’s seat as Nero.

“I hope your journey was pleasant” he said “Make sure our guest is comfortable, I will deal with him later” as Pike was dragged away, Carissa suddenly felt lonely. She turned back to Nero

“W-what do you want from me?”

“Not much. As of now, there is something I would like to show you” he came towards her and turned her around, to the screen. “This is Vulcan. I bet your boyfriend has promised you to show you everything one day, didn’t he?”

“How-how do you know about us?” not even her parents knew, so how the hell did he know of the relationship?

“That doesn’t matter. Just watch and see how Vulcan is swallowed by a black hole”

“A what? How?” she turned around, refusing to believe him

“A complicated and advanced method allowed us to create a black hole within the center of Vulcan”

“You-you’re destroying the planet! Why? What do you gain from this? And why do you want me to see it so desperately? What have I ever done to you?”

“I need to admit, it is not your fault. None of this. Yet I still need you to fulfill my plan”

“What plan?” she didn’t get an answer

“Look” she turned back to the screen only to see how the planet slowly disappeared as if it was being sucked away into nothing. Tears came to her eyes. Why would someone willingly destroy a planet, especially a peaceful one? Suddenly Carissa had another thought. If Spock knew of this, he most likely would go down to help evacuating. And what about the three men who tried to take out the drill? Did they succeed and were back in safety? “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Nero chuckled behind her “The sweet taste of revenge”

“What in devil’s name would justify that?” she almost cried as she felt the tears leaving her eyes. “That is madness”

“You will see that it is justified very soon”

“Actually I don’t want that. What do you even want from me? Just do it and get over with it” she growled.

“I fear that will have to wait” in the meantime, the whole planet had disappeared

“There, you just killed billions of people. I hope you’re happy now”

“I’m far from happy. But I do feel more satisfied. Maybe I will be a little happy when my whole plan succeeded”

“Your whole plan? What are you planning to do? Destroy every planet you want just because you can?”

“Not every planet…”

“So you admit that you’re destroying other planets?”

“Yes. It has to be”

“You are mad. No, more than mad. This is genocide and will not help you in any way”

“Then consider it as my personal revenge on the Federation for letting my planet being destroyed”

“De-destroyed? How do you mean that? Are you talking about Romulus?”

“What other planet could I mean?”

“But... there’s nothing wrong with Romulus. We’ve just started learning about Romulans at the Academy a week ago or so… I’m sure we’d have been told if something had happened to your planet” there was a sharp pain in her face and it took her some time to realize that he had hit her.

“Enough now”

“Why? Why are you doing this?” she whispered and he smirked

“You will find out” he turned to one of his minions and told him something in Romulan. She regretted not having taken xenolinguistics as an elective. Maybe she could change that when she got back. If she got back. Quickly she banned the thought from her head. She just had to survive. Then she realized what Nero’s order must have been as she saw the Enterprise’s bridge on the screen in front of them. “Where’s Spock?” the Romulan asked “I hope he is in a state to speak to me because there is something I want him to know” Uhura promised to tell him to come back to the bridge. Not much later, Carissa saw her boyfriend stepping onto the bridge, followed by Jim and Sulu. As it seemed they had made it. Maybe they would be able to beam Pike and her back now? “Oh, hello Spock. You seem a little…sad” he chuckled. She wanted nothing more than to lunge at her captor. Who did he think he was? At least that made one thing clear: what he did had to do with her boyfriend. But what? What could he have done to piss Nero off that much, especially given the fact that Spock did not even know him?

“Vulcan was a peaceful planet. Its destruction was illogical and unnecessary” given the fact his planet had just been destroyed he seemed rather calm and composed. She didn’t want to know what feelings he was trying to hide. Of course she knew that Vulcans had emotions, they just were experts at controlling them. For some short seconds, Spock’s gaze rested on his girlfriend before he turned back to Nero “I demand to know what you have done to Captain Pike”

“Oh not much yet. And what I do to him depends on his cooperation”

“And of what use is Cadet Wiley to you?”

“She will play a valuable role in the next part of my plan”

“What plan?” Jim asked, glaring at the Romulan “Let her go, she’s got nothing to do with this”

“Cadet Kirk is right” Spock said “I would be a more valuable hostage for whatever plan you have and offer myself in exchange for Cadet Wiley”

“Hostage? Oh no, she is far more than just a hostage. Which is why she is perfect for the next part and the only one who can help me to achieve my goal” Carissa started to believe that whatever he wanted from her must have to do with the fact that Spock was her boyfriend. And since the Romulan wanted revenge, she was sure that she’d have to suffer for that.

“And what exactly are you planning to do?” Jim shouted “If you harm either of them, I will…”

“Will you what, Kirk? You have no chance against me. Our technology is far more advanced than yours” Spock told Jim to be quiet or he would be removed from the bridge.

“Didn’t you want to tell them what you’re planning to do? That’s the reason you contacted them” Carissa said, hoping that they could do something to stop Nero.

“I’m sure Spock is starting to figure it out, isn’t that right?”

“I do not have enough facts for a conclusion” Nero started laughing. In the meantime Carissa tried to remember everything she had learned since she got on the Narada

“Spock” she said “He wants revenge on you and the federation because Romulus is destroyed. He wants to destroy other planets too” once again she was hit, this time with such a force that she lost her balance and toppled over.

“Romulus is not destroyed, you must be mistaken”

“She isn’t. You let my planet die, I’ve lost everything.” Nero barked but then regained himself “Now it is your turn to feel the same, I promise you that” with these words, he ended the communication and slowly Carissa started to figure out what exactly he had in store for her. Nero said he had lost everything when his planet was destroyed, which meant his loved ones were gone (At least he believed so).

“You’ll kill me” she whispered as she sat up, rubbing her face where she had been hit

“Yes…”

“But there is no need to. Romulus is fine. I swear it. Just check out a star map or ask your computer”

“I saw how it was destroyed just as I’ve seen it with Vulcan”

“Spock is right. There has to be a mistake, please, if you accept my help, I could prove…” this time she got kicked. Apparently, Romulans did not care for diplomacy, at least not Nero.

“I believe if we had met under other circumstances we would have gotten along quite well” he said.

“How-how do you even know me?” instead of replying he dropped something in front of her. Quickly she grabbed it and saw that it was a photograph. It showed her and Spock. But she didn’t remember ever taking one with him, besides, she had the feeling they both looked older. “Where did you get this?”

“None of your concern”

“Given the fact that this is a photo of me I do think it is my concern” she spat “And when you’re already at it, why don’t you tell me why exactly you want to see him suffer. Because it can’t have been what you claimed it was”

“There is much more behind this than you think”

“Then enlighten me. You’re planning to kill me, I deserve to know why. And I won’t even be able to tell others of your ‘masterplan’. After all I’m here on your ship and can’t leave” he turned away from her and it seemed as if he was thinking.

“The Narada is a simple mining ship where I come from. I, as its captain was working hard to support my wife and unborn child” he made a pause and Carissa was starting to wonder how this simple mining ship could have such technology. On the other hand, she didn’t know much about Romulan ships, so maybe that was standard for them? “There was a supernova that destroyed the planet. And guess what your Vulcan did? Nothing. He betrayed us all. He let them all die. So I have planned my revenge for over twenty years”

“Woah” she said, getting up “What has he got to do with this? Besides, if what you say is true and that this happened over twenty years ago Spock was only a child at that time. And you honestly can’t expect a child to save a planet from a supernova. Not even Vulcans”

“You still haven’t figured it out, have you?”

“Figure out what? What you’re telling me makes absolutely no sense. At least that’s consistent with what you’re doing. Do you know what? I am starting to believe you’re not fit to be a Captain… Ha, I bet I’m more entitled to take over command because guess what? I passed the Kobayashi Maru simulation. I am officially allowed to be Captain of a ship” she didn’t even know where that had come from. Somehow she didn’t even regret it as she got hit. Once again Nero turned to his crewmember and told him something in their language. Carissa got yanked to her feet and dragged away from the bridge. After a while they passed Pike who was restrained against something like a stretcher. “Captain” she shouted, trying to break free from the Romulan, but to no avail “He’s planning to destroy other planets. And he already said he’d kill me. So whatever he’s asking for, don’t…” a sharp pain in her head let her stop. The Romulan pointed his weapon at her

“One more word…”

“Well if you kill me, guess what Nero does with you…” she threatened back, glaring at him expectantly. Soon she regretted it, as he captor used the phaser to knock her out.


	3. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for attempted sexual assault and violence!

Her head was throbbing when she opened her eyes. Nevertheless she tried to get up to look around a little and find a chance to escape. However, moments later she noticed that someone - she strongly assumed it was the Romulan who knocked her out - had tied her to a pole. Cursing him in her thoughts, she tried to free herself but quickly realized that it was of no use. Then she’d have to wait until someone came to get her.

She had no idea how long she had been sitting there until she was approached by one of her captors. Her heart started beating faster, one part of her was afraid of what would happen while the other was happy about a chance to escape. However, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do if she actually managed to get rid of him. After all she had no idea how the ship was built and all she knew was that she needed to get off it. Maybe they had escape pods she could use? By now the Romulan reached her and freed her arms. Somehow she had imagined he’d pull her with him, instead she was yanked up and pressed against the pole.

“Leave me alone” she hissed as she felt his hands on her hip, having an idea what exactly he had in mind. “I bet if your master hears about this, you’re screwed”

“My only order is not to kill you and bring you to Nero so that he can beam you down to earth when it’s being destroyed. I wasn’t told what I can’t do with you” His fingers laced in her hair and pulled her head aside.

“Earth’s got a much better defense than Vulcan. This won’t be easy. At all” she growled and winced when she felt his breath on her neck. Then she decided that was enough and knocked her head against his, simultaneously kicking her knee between his legs. Hoping the pointed tips of his ears were as sensitive as the one of Vulcans, she pinched it with her finger nails. He let out a loud scream and went to his knees, trying to get away from her hand. Carissa grinned “Perks of having a Vulcan boyfriend” she chuckled as she kicked him another couple of times until she was sure that he wouldn’t be able to follow her in the next few minutes. Since the red of her uniform was eye catching, she even stole his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. Maybe she wouldn’t be spotted from afar like that. She also took his weapon. After delivering another few kicks she ran away, looking around if she could see Pike somewhere so that she could free him as well. Without an idea where she was supposed to go, she just ran along the corridors, hoping she wouldn’t run into someone. But of course the ship wasn’t empty, so after a couple of minutes she heard footsteps. She hid behind a large machine, only focusing on the sounds. Luckily, it seemed to be only one person. Taking a deep breath, she raised her weapon and as she saw that the Romulan was almost past the machine, she lunged at him, knocking the gun against his skull. Before she knew it, her opponent threw her to the ground. A shriek of surprise left her mouth and turned into a painful moan as he kicked her stomach.

“Die, Starfleet officer” he growled. Much to her luck he must have dropped his weapon when she jumped at him, so he had to find other ways to kill her. He picked her up by her neck and squeezed it with both hands. Once again she went for the ears, making him loosen the grip enough so that she could tear his hands away from her. She went to her knees, coughing and holding her neck. She tried to crawl between his legs and hit his middle with her hand when she was in an optimal position. After she was past him, she got up and continued running. That was more difficult than she thought because her lungs never seemed to get enough air. Her hair was grabbed and she almost fell over. The Romulan from earlier shoved her against the nearest post with such a force that made her black spots in front of her eyes. A fist collided with her jaw and her head hit the metal behind her again. Her hand shot to her head and she felt his hands wrapping around her neck again. When she threw a short glance at him, she could she a small smirk on his face. This time she was too far away to hurt his ears, so she tried to get rid of his arms but to no avail. Suddenly, he let go of her and she tried to stagger forward and try to fight him again when she felt her knees sagging in. Before she went to her knees, she saw that the Romulan obviously didn’t feel any better and went to the ground as well. But in contrast to her, he lay there motionless. Before she could even figure out what she was supposed to do she heard her name being called.

“Spock” she choked out upon looking up and seeing him holding out his hand towards her. When she made no move to take it, he crouched down in front of her and pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Feeling tears of exhaustion in her eyes she leaned her cheek against his shoulder and tried to catch her breath.

“It is very pleasant to see you” he said quietly and she made a faint sound of agreement. “Have you been severely injured?”

“Mhh” she murmured “Not that much” he lifted her head and cradled her face to look at her, then placed his lips on hers. When he leaned his forehead against hers, she couldn’t help but smile a little. He rarely showed this much affection in such a short time. “No reason to rush things” she joked.

“Oh there you are. I thought you were crazy when you turned and darted away as if stung by… What the fuck?!” she glanced past the Vulcan to see Jim standing behind them, panting and supporting himself against his thighs. Much to her dismay Spock pulled away and helped Carissa up, ignoring the other cadet’s bedazzled look.

“We ought to leave” he said, then looked back to his girlfriend “Are you in a state to run?”

“I’ll see” she replied. He gave a nod and jogged off, still holding her hand that she had no choice but to follow him. Only seconds later everything in her body was protesting but she tried not to show it. They needed to get away from here. After what seemed like an eternity, her boyfriend slowed down and Carissa saw a ship in front of them “Are we gonna steal that?” she asked “What about Captain Pike?”

“Cadet Kirk will take care of him”

“O-okay” she turned back to Kirk as they entered the ship. “Oh wow, I have the feeling that this isn’t a Romulan ship… oh hey, look at that cool bubble” she smiled and went to the middle of the ship where she had spotted the funny looking red bubble and had to refrain herself from touching it. She felt hands on her shoulder and was carefully pulled away from where she stood

“It is better if you keep a certain distance to the red matter”

“The red matter?”

“Yeah apparently that’s the thing that caused the black hole that destroyed Vulcan” Jim explained. The ship computer seemed to have switched on and welcomed Spock.

“Okayyyy?!” she glanced at Spock who stared at the ship in disbelief.

“Well that’s weird” Jim said with a shrug and went past them, while Spock asked the computer about his details. She frowned when it explained that it was commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy in the 24th century. Was there a mistake or did the ship really come from the future? Suddenly she found Spock gone and hurried after him.

“It appears that you have been keeping important information from me” he confronted Jim.

“And what’s that about you and Clarissa?”

“Carissa” she corrected

“That is not relevant”

“Fine. You’ll be able to fly this thing, won’t you?” Kirk inquired.

“Something tells me I already have” this confused Carissa even more. Until now she had just believed that Spock had already flown this ship but apparently not. So what was going on?

“Good luck” Jim walked away when Spock called his name.

“I would prefer if you took Carissa with you and kept an eye on her”

“What?” she crossed her arms “I’m staying with you, of course.”

“Carissa, the overall likelihood that our plan succeeds is less than 4.3 percent. If you go with him, your chances of survival are higher than with me”

“You do know you’re sending me back to the Romulans, don’t you? Beside, screw chances, I’m not going anywhere!”

“You being with him would also increase Cadet Kirk’s chances of survival in case he is confronted by Romulans”

“God, there are days I feel like I’m talking to a wall” she muttered and chuckled as she heard Kirk murmur in agreement.

“Look” he said “I don’t know why but obviously she wants to stay with you, so why don’t you let her?”

“This ship was designed to be administered by one person. Therefore, her presence here is unnecessary” she sighed.

“That’s not the moment to discuss this. I can decide for myself and I’d rather die than stepping one foot onto that Romulan ship again!” Jim made a hand movement that said as much as ‘there you go’. Finally her boyfriend agreed and Jim left after assuring Carissa that she needn’t to worry because the plan would work.

“What exactly is the plan?” she asked after he had left the ship.

“We need to destroy the drill and draw the Narada away from Earth so that the Enterprise can beam us back on board before we launch the red matter onto the ship. Since Cadet Kirk needs to find Captain Pike, it is down to me to buy him some time”

“Oh alright” she watched as he steered the ship away from the Romulan one after blasting a hole into it. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No, as I already said, this ship was designed for one person so I am able to do everything myself”

“Okay. And should I… I don’t know maybe prepare the red matter so that we can use it afterwards?”

“That will not be necessary”

“But… how are you trying to launch it at the Narada then?” he didn’t answer and she started to figure it out “No. No, don’t tell me we’re crashing this ship onto theirs. That’s madness. They won’t be able to beam us back in time”

“That is why I wanted you to go with Cadet Kirk. Because the Narada has longer than this ship does” she shook her head

“Even if I had known that, I wouldn’t have changed my mind” he looked at her “And don’t you even dare telling me how illogical this decision was or whatever”

“I did not plan to comment on this at all” he started firing onto the metal cord that held the drill in place

“Oh” she watched how the drill finally came off and fell down. She only hoped that no one would be killed when it arrived at the surface.

“However, I cannot help but admit that a part of me feels a form of contentment due to your presence” she made an approving sound.

“I appreciate you telling me this. I know it must be hard for you to admit your feelings and talk about them” she placed a hand on his arm. He was about to reply when Nero’s face appeared on a little screen in front of them

“Spock, I should have killed you when I had the chance. But know that Carissa will be joining me at any moment and then you can watch her die” Spock looked at his girlfriend and she leant closer to him so that the Romulan could see her as well

“I don’t think so. Unfortunately for you I found out that your Romulan ears are quite sensitive as well so I managed to escape”

“Fire on that ship. I want them dead. Dead” Nero shouted

“Bad kitty” she scolded him like she did with her cat when he did something he wasn’t allowed. The communication broke off and Spock moved over a little

“Sit down and hold tight” he said and Carissa followed his instruction, knowing he’d soon fly evasive maneuvers. That was the case but only a couple of seconds later he went into Warp.

“Do you think he’ll follow us?”

“He will. After all you managed to make him angry enough to forget about anything else. Which is our luck because he would never make the choice to follow us if it was not based on emotions like anger” she smiled.

“See, it’s good you took me with you so I could make him angry” she pressed a kiss to his cheek what made him look at her with something like amusement. Not much later, they went out of Warp and he flew a U-turn, directly towards the Narada that had dropped out of overlightspeed as well. “Do you reckon he’ll figure out what we’re trying to do?”

“I suppose he is not that ignorant” as it seemed also the computer seemed to have realized what they were doing and warned Spock that he was out to collide with the Narada

“Guess what, that’s exactly what we want, computer” Carissa chuckled “Ah it seems like Nero knows” again he was firing at them and again they got a warning from the computer that if the ship was hit, the red matter would be ignited. She looked at him “What now? We’re too far away from the Narada so it’ll only kill us” suddenly a ship appeared and blasted away all the Romulan missiles so that their path was cleared.

“Enterprise” Spock called the ship “Here is Spock”

“Here’s Scotty, Sir”

“I have Cadet Wiley on board with me and request you beam her back onto the ship”

“Aye”

“What are you doing?”

“Sir, I cannae beam her back alone. It’s either both of you or no one. Yer too close to each other” as the hull of the Romulan ship came closer, she dug her fingers into Spock’s arm and shortly after felt that she was being beamed somewhere. She only hoped it was the Enterprise’s doing, not Nero’s. When she realized that she was in the transporter room of the Starfleet ship with her boyfriend still beside her she breathed out in relief. Luckily, also Jim and Pike had made it. As it seemed, Spock was already on his way back to the bridge, pulling Carissa along when they almost ran into people from the Med Bay. When the Vulcan let go of her hand, she felt disappointed but knew why he did it. It wasn’t good if people saw them holding hands.

“There is no reason for you to come to the bridge with me” he told her without even looking back

“Firstly, I was assigned to the bridge for all I know. Secondly, I think I made my point obvious when I said that I want to stay with you” they arrived at the bridge only seconds before Jim, who ordered to hail Nero. Why was he giving orders and not Spock? After all he was made Captain. Then she got even more things to wonder about as Jim (whose real name apparently was James as she just learned) offered Nero to evacuate his people. She obviously wasn’t the only one who was confused as her boyfriend started talking to Jim (or James). Luckily, Nero already spat that he’d rather relive Romulus’ end over and over again than accepting their help.

“Oh that’s a bummer” Carissa said, glaring at him “I was hoping we could repay you your hospitality… then I have no choice but to say goodbye. I don’t know how you Romulans do it, so I’ve got to do it the human way” she showed him her middle fingers “Go to hell” she felt the surprised looks of most people on her and she took a step back with a sheepish smile. Where had that come from?

“I can only agree with Carissa” she smiled as he finally seemed to have realized her name was not Clarissa. “Arm phasers and fire everything we got” he walked away from the screen and sat down in the Captain’s chair as the Enterprise started firing at the Narada, which finally got swallowed by the black hole. She slightly raised her fist in triumph. But then all her enthusiasm wore off when she heard that they were too close to the singularity as well and would be swallowed by it as well. As it seemed there was nothing they could to, the ship was already on maximum Warp. Great. She was starting to get angry at Kirk for ordering to fire at the Narada instead of leaving instantly. But then Scotty from the engineering seemed to have an idea, detonation something and creating a blast that could push them away from the black hole. Only now she realized that maybe it was better if she sat down as well and quickly took a seat in the nearest empty chair, grabbing it as she had done before they left the dock on Earth. Somehow she had a feeling as if years had passed since then, but she knew that it probably was only about a day or two. She’d have to ask her boyfriend, after all he must have been able to keep track of the time. “Sulu?” Kirk said after he had made sure everyone on the bridge was alright “Let’s go home”

-oO0Oo-

For some reason, Carissa felt odd about being back. It was, as if everything had changed. At least she had heard the full story of what had happened by now: Nero was from the future, just after his home planet had been destroyed. And apparently a future version of Spock had promised them to save Romulus but came too late so Nero had sworn to get revenge. A part of her felt dumb for not realizing it, it was a plausible explanation and answered all her questions. However, shortly after she felt new questions arising. Did this mean that a new timeline was created? Was there a possibility to restore Vulcan? What would the older version of her boyfriend do, travel back to his own time or stay here? She soon realized that the easiest way to have her questions answered was talking to the time traveler. Besides, she had noticed that she still was in possession of the photograph Nero had thrown at her and she figured it was his and that he wanted it back. A doctor had given her a sick leave for the next day so she wanted to use it to talk to the older Spock. But before that she wanted to make sure her boyfriend was alright but as it seemed he could be found nowhere so she decided to do that later because she feared that his future self could leave soon. When she heard that he agreed to the meeting she nevertheless was a little surprised.

“Hi uh…” she greeted, trying her best to offer him the traditional Vulcan greeting “My name is Carissa Wiley and well… I was asking to see you.” he returned the greeting

“I know who you are, Carissa” suddenly she remembered the photograph

“Oh yeah… right” and she wasn’t even so sure if it was a good idea to come here “Sorry if I am bothering you… I actually only came because I think I got something of yours” she pulled out the photograph and saw how he raised an eyebrow as he carefully took it from her.

“I thought it gone when Nero took it from me” his index finger traced over the part of the picture that showed her. “Besides you could never bother me, I can even admit that it fills me with joy to see you again” This made her feel a twinge in her chest

“Did…did… was she... I-I mean was I, the other I with you on this mission? Did Nero… kill her?”

“No, she was not. I have lost her one hundred and two years before these incidents”

“Oh” she wasn’t sure if she felt sorry for him or if it was because it concerned herself “May-may I ask how it happened?”

“We were on a mission when another ship of the Federation appeared out of nothing. Of course we thought nothing by it, not even when our tries to contact them were not answered. By the time I discovered that the other ship had been infiltrated by the enemy, it was already too late” he looked at the photograph again “Carissa was in the engine room with a couple of cadets. They were all killed when the ship was fired at.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I mean not because it concerns me… and I know that you… I mean your younger self always said he doesn’t want compassion… but-but I can’t help it. Sorry”

“There is no need to apologize for your emotions. You are human and therefore cannot control them as we can. I am sure that my younger self is aware of this. He will need you, we both have lost so much. And I fear I am the one who owes you an apology, it was my doing you got into this perilous situation in the first place”

“If you’re trying to say that it is your fault that Romulus was destroyed or what Nero did because of that… it’s not. You wanted to help and you did everything to do so, I know that. It’s not your fault you weren’t there in time”

“That is one thing I have always loved so much about her, she always believed in the good of everyone and tried to help them. If more people were like you, the galaxy would be at peace. I am sure she would have made a splendid ambassador as well”

“Yeah, that’s something my diplomacy professor keeps telling me all the time. He believes that would have been more my thing than a member of Starfleet” Carissa shrugged.

“If I recall correctly, the reason for your visit was not just to give me back my property but to ask me some questions”

“Yes, unless you don’t want to…”

-oO0Oo-

All too soon she had to leave for dinner. She had to admit that she was glad that Spock wanted to stay in this timeline because she had grown very fond of him in the few hours she had talked to him about almost everything, from how her life had been in their timeline (though he didn’t tell her too much, it was still her own life after all). After dinner, she tried to find her boyfriend again but as it seemed he refused to see anyone and she couldn’t insist without making their relationship official. She knew that if he really needed her, he’d come to her even if he was a dickhead. But she could understand why he didn’t want to see anyone, she too felt the same way because she first needed time to cope with everything. And for him it was even worse. Spock’s future self had told her that they had lost their mother when Vulcan was destroyed. Besides, she knew that she would see him the following day in the lesson anyway.

-oO0Oo-

Her first day of school didn’t start all too well. When she arrived at the diplomacy classroom she was being pestered with questions about her ‘adventure’ in outer space and if what they heard was true. She tried to dodge the questions as good as she could.

“Look, I’ve spent about one hour aboard the bridge of Enterprise, but passed out just after we got into Warp. Then I was abducted by a criminal Romulan who came from the future and he wanted to kill me because he sought revenge. He made me watch the destruction of Vulcan, I got hit, knocked out and one of them came too close for my liking and another one tried to strangle me twice before I was saved. Then I helped saving earth from being swallowed into a black hole by being part of a suicide mission before we were saved in the last second and then were almost swallowed by the black hole we created... So I hope you can forgive me if I don’t want to talk about ‘my adventure’ right now…” that helped and her classmates left her alone. But the real shock came when the lesson started. Nine seats were empty. The seats of nine cadets who had been on the other space ships that were destroyed by Nero. Suddenly she felt more hatred towards the Romulan and felt tears in her eyes. Her thoughts drifted off quite a lot during the lesson and she got two rebukes from the professor

“Oh, hey Wiley” someone called after they left the classroom. She sighed when she recognized Oliver, one of her worst bullies. “Looks like someone was naughty and is about to get punished” he shoved her “Suddenly your lover isn’t happy with you anymore” she moved away from him

“You’re just jealous that I’m better at diplomacy. But if I see you talking to a fellow cadet like this…. I can understand why you’re failing this class. Maybe you should get some… special tutoring if you know what I mean” she grinned as she turned around

“Oh yeah? If this was about failing you should get into closer contact with Professor pointy-ear”

“That sounds like a good idea” she replied coolly. “I should ask him” then she walked away, pretty surprised that she only felt annoyance at the suggestion.

Her problems increased in exobiology. She quickly discovered that she wasn’t able to finish the essay they were given last week and got a reprimand.

“Now, I want you to write me an extra essay for next week on the biological similarities and differences between Romulans and Vulcans” she started laughing.

“I can already give you my conclusion now: To sum it all up, the situation can be seen similar to different human species. While the Romulans stayed on the primitive basis of the Neanderthals, Vulcans have developed to Homo sapiens. And for all I know you set up an essay to get a conclusion, isn’t that right? Besides, I have been captured by Romulans only two days ago, so yeah… I guess I know more about them than the rest of the class and can’t be objective towards them. That’s also the reason I couldn’t finish my essay”

“Then it should be no problem for you to write that essay and present it to your fellow cadets. And I must warn you, Cadet Wiley, next time you will watch your tone” she looked down.

“Of course, I’m sorry, Professor” luckily he left and started talking about the contents of their lesson; the Romulan anatomy. At the end of the class she was pretty pleased with herself and her contribution to the lesson; now her whole class knew of the weakness in Romulans’ ears. As it seemed not even the professor knew of this what made her even prouder. On her way to the next lesson she was asked questions again, this time her classmates seemed to be in awe and probably had realized that the mission had not really been a picnic. Much to her surprise, Spock wasn’t in the classroom when she entered. Instead there was a professor she had only seen once or twice before.

“Professor Spock is tied up with business matters from the mission at Vulcan a few days ago” they were told.

“Tied up with business my ass” Oliver muttered “I bet he’s crying in a corner because his planet’s gone. No wait, he probably doesn’t even care”

“Take that back!” Carissa growled “What would you do if Earth was destroyed, huh? Besides, it was his doing that nothing happened to you”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, I have seen it with my own eyes”

“I thought you were captured by Romulans at that time”

“No, then I was already gone and helped them destroy the drill”

“You helped? Don’t make me laugh. You can’t even finish your homework properly, let alone save a planet”

“You know what? I wish that drill had hit you. Well, maybe it has, because I doubt you can be that stupid by nature”

“Cadet Wiley” she heard the professor’s voice “Is there something you would like to share with us?”

“I uh… Oliver Moore was making mean comments and jokes about the end of Vulcan and I told him that this is no laughing matter”

“That’s not what happened, uncle. Okay, I made a comment about the end of Vulcan but it only was a fact, not a joke or what she claimed. She overreacted and was the one who was mean to me and told me she wished I was dead”

“Is that true, Cadet Wiley?”

“No, I didn’t say I wish he died”

“You said you wanted that drill to hit me”

“Yes, that it knocked you out. Not killed you, besides that was just an expression of anger when you called me a liar”

“That is enough, Cadet Wiley, I demand to speak you after the lesson” she sighed. The lesson was bad but the talk afterwards was worse and left her in tears. She had the feeling that she was treated incorrectly and that the substitute teacher was biased because Oliver was his nephew as she had to find out.

All the stress and bad things that happened during the day only faded away when she noticed a message from her boyfriend on her PADD. He wished to see her in his office after dinner. Somehow she had the feeling this didn’t mean anything good. Nevertheless, she was looking forward to it and quickly ate dinner. Before she knocked at his door, she took a deep breath.

“Come in” carefully she opened the door and saw how he got up from his desk. Quickly, she closed the door and approached him, cupping his face

“Hey” his hands took hold of her wrists. “I heard you were busy today?” although she wanted to ask him how he was doing but she knew him well enough to know that she wouldn’t get an answer she wanted to hear.

“Yes, I had much work to take care of. What about you? How are your injuries doing?”

“Better. The medicine helped but I should go to the sickbay again tomorrow so that they can make sure everything’s alright again. As for my day… well” she started telling him of all the rebukes she had gotten in the morning, more than she had in all her time at the academy before.

“What is troubling you?”

“I just started to wonder if everything that happened in the past days has changed me too much”

“I doubt that it will have a permanent negative effect on your career if that is what you are afraid of. This presumably is merely the aftermath of the incidents, it is only natural that you are feeling different now”

“Yeah. I guess if I’m getting used to this again, everything will be normal again. A-and what about you? I mean… with everything that has happened… is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, there is not. In fact, no one can do anything against it. It has happened and I have to accept that” she nodded

“If you do need me anyways… I am here, okay?” she gently stroked his cheek with her thumb.

“I doubt that I will have to accept your offer but I do appreciate your willingness to help”

“It’s self-evidently” she replied as she stood on her tiptoes to peck his lips. To her dismay he quickly pulled away but a part of her understood. He obviously needed time “You mentioned that you had something to tell me?” she said, deciding to chance the topic. He nodded and offered her a seat

“After careful consideration I have made the decision to leave the Academy and join the crew of the Enterprise instead.”

“Oh. When… when will you be leaving?”

“They have not set a date yet, but it will take at least two months to repair the ship”

“So you will continue teaching in this time?”

“Affirmative” she nodded

“Well you being gone will take the only pleasant part of the class away…” she chuckled “Just-just promise that you will come back as often as you can. I-I mean don’t feel obliged to actually see me but just… I don’t know… let me know how you’re doing”

“Carissa, there is something else I need to tell you” she absolutely did not like his tone. She knew that she wouldn’t like what he was about to say.

“What is wrong?”

“There is nothing wrong. But I believe it is better if we ended our relationship”

“What?” she shrieked. “Why? Did… did I do something wrong? What?”

“No, it has nothing to do with your behavior at all. This is about me”

“Bu-but why? If you need time, that’s okay. I mean… I can stay away from you a little until you are feeling better if that is what you want”

“This is not what I meant either”

“Then what?” she only hoped he wouldn’t tell her that he didn’t love her anymore.

“I am not good for you”

“Nonsense!” he shook his head

“I have told you many times that I cannot give you what a fellow member of your species can give you”

“And every time I told you that I don’t care. I told you that I was glad you’re that unobtrusive because my ex was too pushy. You know I don’t mind that you have your own way to show affection”

“You may not care now. But as time passes you will want more and I am not sure to what extent I can comply with your wishes”

“We’ll find a solution. And if not, we can talk about breaking up then. But what is wrong now? Do-don’t you want me anymore?”

“Of course I do, Carissa, but…”

“Then tell me why! Because I don’t see a reason which means you’re being illogical, Spock” she crossed her arms

“I am not and once I have told you the facts that made me come to the conclusion you will be able to understand”

“I doubt that but go on” she murmured.

“When I was giving Admiral Marcus my mission report, I have made the observation that I was the reason for your capture.”

“If you’re trying to say that it is your fault that Nero was angry with you I can tell you that it wasn’t. It isn’t even your future self’s fault. He did everything he could and no one could have known Nero would want revenge”

“That is a conclusion I have made as well. However, it was my doing that you were on the bridge of the Enterprise, which made it possible for Nero to recognize and entrap you”

“Yeah but let’s not forget that you initially planned to leave me behind because you didn’t want me to get hurt. You only complied because I insisted and was supported by Pike”

“Yet, assigning you to the bridge was not the most logical thing to do, as seen by Starfleet standards. It made more sense from my point of view since I was hoping to be able to have an eye on you during the mission. Now I realized that I should not have done this because I have come to the realization that my decision was not solely based on logic”

“So that’s why? Because I make you show emotions and think illogically? Do you fear anyone could notice you’re… I don’t know affected by something primitive like emotions?”

“No, after all you have made the discovery that I can act as if there is nothing between us”

“Fine, then you’re fed up with pretending to not be with me…”

“Carissa, I would appreciate it if you stopped jumping to such conclusions and would listen to me instead”

“Then tell me” she got up and glared at him.

“The chance of you getting into difficulties because of me is higher than I have thought. Of course, I have never calculated the possibility before but its result was not pleasant”

“In other words, you fear I could get hurt because of you?”

“Not only getting hurt as both of us will have to expect severe consequences if our relationship is discovered”

“Wow, you used the first conditional… you think the chances someone finds out the truth is that high?”

“Yes, after all I had to tell Admiral Marcus about our relationship when he inquired the reason for Nero’s interest in you. Besides, Cadet Kirk knows about us as well and one day, he will let something slip”

“Oh come on, the Admiral won’t do anything about it, I mean... he didn’t tell you to end things, did he?”

“He did not. However, he did remind me to not forget that you are still my cadet in class”

“See. He’s fine with it. And what concerns James Kirk, we can still claim he’s jealous and spreading rumors because of it”

“Carissa, you know of my natural aversion to lying”

“Fine, then I tell them the thing with rumors and you can say that you have not realized he could be jealous but that you could understand a human doing this out of jealousy… That isn’t a lie. And you can claim that nothing inappropriate has happened between the two of us which is the truth as well”

“You are distracting attention from the fact that there are more reasons speaking against our relationship”

“Hate to break it to you but relationships rarely got anything to do with logic. They’re purely emotional. But fine, if that’s what’s bothering you, have it your way” she turned away from him “I don’t understand your decision and I don’t like it. But in contrast to you I accept your decisions” she walked towards the door and cut him off when he tried to speak again “Save your breath. I’ve heard enough. I’m your weak point, I’m what makes you show emotion and you don’t want that” she turned back to him with tears in her eyes “I hope you’re happy now. No, wait, I hope you’re not happy, because you don’t want to feel at all. I hope you’re not feeling anything. That’s what you wanted, right?” without another word she stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut.


	4. A Hard Time

Her anger towards Spock didn’t disappear in the following days. Who did he think he was to just break up with her? Did he not realize that she needed him? She needed someone she could talk to, about everything. And she didn’t want to tell others about the relationship, though that was now over. Her only option was talking to Jim but she didn’t really know him well enough. In fact, the only one she could possibly talk to, someone who had experienced almost everything was Pavel. But unfortunately he was nowhere to be found. So Carissa realized that she had no other choice but to talk to her best friend and roommate. Though, it wasn’t her decision in the first place, Nicole had seen her crying into her pillow one evening and pressed her until Carissa broke and started telling her everything. At least most of it, since she never mentioned the real reason Nero wanted her and that she had been in a relationship with Spock

“A-and now that I’m back… my boyfriend broke up with me as well” she sniffed.

“Woah I don’t know what to say. If I were you I couldn’t go to classes”

“Distraction is good” she said. Nicole crossed her arms

“Well I can’t do anything about the things that happened on the mission… but what concerns that ex-boyfriend of yours… Tell me who it is and I’ll beat him up” she chuckled and Carissa sniffed

“You’d get into trouble”

“Do you think I care? He dumped you when you needed him the most. Why did he do this?”

“He thought he wasn’t good for me”

“Ouch. Well maybe he’s right. If he’s not here for you, you definitely deserve better”

“But Nic… I can’t get over him. And I can’t stop loving him although I hate him”

“My offer to beat the shit outta him still applies”

“No, that really isn’t a good idea. I’ll handle it myself”

“If you need me, I’m there for you, okay Cassie? Although you never told me you had a boyfriend!”

-oO0Oo-

Soon, Carissa found out that if she just covered herself in work, she wasn’t thinking about anything that bothered her at the moment. That was until Friday came and she would see her ex-boyfriend (calling him that was still hard). So she quickly decided to fake a sickness to escape his class.

The following week she still didn’t want to see Spock but she knew she couldn’t just miss his lessons this time. And she feared that people would get suspicious if she just claimed to be sick again. Therefore, the case was clear: she had to get sick and needed an official leave from a doctor. But the brilliant idea only came on Thursday evening and she thought it was too late to develop a sickness with symptoms in that time. Could she fake a mental breakdown or something like that? Maybe she could pretend that talking about Romulans in biology evoked a trauma in her and she unfortunately just didn’t feel well enough to go back to classes today? Then she’d have an official leave from a professor and not even Spock could think or claim she was skiving lessons. After all he had no idea how she was doing right now since he had chosen to ignore her.

Her plan worked brilliantly and she was sent do the medical center after half a lesson when she started crying in the lesson and faked symptoms of a panic attack. She even managed to convince McCoy- who was supposed to treat her- to give her a sick leave for the day after she explained that she wanted to avoid seeing someone who brought back memories from her experiences.

“Don’t tell me that someone is Professor Pointy-ear” so his nickname was not just popular among cadets.

“How did you get that idea?”

“Well he does look quite a bit like those damned Romulans. Besides, he was more involved than anyone and the reason this all happened” she only gave shrug

“I don’t think so. But no, I don’t want to see my ex… he broke up shortly after we all got back”

“What an asshole” he took out his PADD and started typing something.

“Yeah”

“Alright, I’ve excused you for the rest of today. Do you want me to send it to your Professors directly?”

“Oh yes, that would be nice” she told him the names of the Professors.

“There we go. Anything else you need? Shall I prescribe your stupid ex some medicine with heavy side effects?”

“I doubt he’d take it”

“He can’t do anything against a hypo you sneak up on him”

“No, I’m fine. But thanks for your help”

“Of course. Just let me know if you want to avoid him further”

“I will, thank you” although she felt grateful, she also knew that she couldn’t avoid Spock forever.

-oO0Oo-

In the end she heard from him sooner than she wanted. This evening, Nicole told her that Spock had asked her to let Carissa know that she couldn’t miss his lessons again or else she’d fail the course because she didn’t fulfil the attendance rate.

“Tell him that I appreciate his concern about my future but that I can look after myself” she growled.

“Wouldn’t it be better if you told him yourself?”

“You’re right” she took out her PADD to do so right now.

-oO0Oo-

Much to her surprise the Vulcan came to see her the following day

“I believe he doesn’t accept your message” Nicole murmured before the Professor asked her to give him a moment with Carissa.

“What do you want?” she asked as she crossed her arms.

“The fact that you do not seem to care about your education suggests that the events of the mission are worrying you more than I thought”

“Or maybe it’s the fact that the person I needed most dumped me. But how could you know, after all you decided that you don’t want to see me anymore? Why don’t you just let me fail here so that I can’t become a Starfleet member and go into space and get into danger? That’s what you wanted, right?”

“It was not my intention to ruin your future and I strongly advise you to not do it yourself”

“Why do you even care? Can’t you go just off to space and I don’t know… observe the development of technology on a planet in a different galaxy?”

“Carissa, I thought I had made it plain that nothing concerning my affection towards you has worn off during or after the mission. If anything changed, then to the contrary”

“And why did you break up then?” she growled. He moved closer and tried to hold her arms but she pushed him away “Don’t you dare touching me”

“Please understand that I did this for your safety”

“Oh yes I see… no one’s abducted me in the past two weeks so far. What a success” she sneered

“The likelihood of an abduction in the Academy is below 2.78 percent”

“So this means you admit that breaking up had nothing to do with this and was unnecessary?”

“I have never said that and I do not think it was unnecessary. You may not understand it now but in a couple of years you will realize that it was for your best”

“Well thanks for being concerned about my welfare and future. But as it seems you forgot one tiny, tiny thing when you made this decision”

“That would be?”

“To ask me how it makes me feel maybe? Not everyone’s able to switch of their emotions like that” she snapped her fingers “and they actually have to deal with all this shit”

“Would it appease you if I assure you that this decision was not an easy one and I wish that there was another way?” she shook her head.

“It makes it worse. You admit that there is another way and you didn’t even want it. So why the fuck did you dump me?”

“Carissa, I believe that the term ‘dumping’ is not quite correct in that situation”

“But that’s exactly what you did. You left me, for no reason. Hell, you just admitted that yourself. I don’t get it at all, what has this got to do with logic?”

“I admit, I can see your point there and your statement is true to an extent for it was not merely based on logic”

“You know what? I hate you! You’re always speaking of logic but as soon as I’m concerned you decide to toss it aside and make a decision that hurts me”

“Your metaphor of tossing aside logic is inaccurate”

“I don’t fucking believe it… instead of talking like a normal person you just… correct me. How did I even manage to put up with you for so long? I hate you! Get out of here!”

“As you wish. You surely remember that I have come here to ask you to think about your future and not make a decision you could regret”

“That’s rich coming from you. But as I have already let you know… I can take care of myself. Now, if you don’t have anything useful to say leave” now he came closer and grabbed her arms before she could react

“Carissa, promise me you will not give up on your wish to be in service for Starfleet after your education. Do not ruin your chance here solely because you are not willing to see me”

“What do you even care what I do?” she shoved his hands away, although she actually wanted nothing more than to pull him close and bury her face in his chest. Suddenly she realized how much she had missed him. “Just leave and mind your own business from now on” she said and glared at him as he walked to the door and opened it.

“Before I leave I would like to point out that you will fail my course if you miss one more class in this semester”

“As if you’d care” she shouted and grabbed her pillow and threw it at his head before he walked off. With a huff she sat down on her bed and saw Nicole entering, picking up her pillow

“Did you just yell at the Professor and throw a pillow at him?” Carissa only nodded and couldn’t help but grin.

“I hope you know he’s probably gonna report you, seeing how proper he is”

“I don’t care” she mumbled, fully knowing Spock wouldn’t do that.

“But don’t you think it’s mean of you to treat him like that when he’s come here because he’s worried? I mean he was on the mission with you, I am sure he understands the situation you are in right now… maybe it would help if you talk to him? I really don’t want to interfere but maybe you should apologize”

“Thanks, I’ll consider it” she lied and put on a coat. “I’m going for a walk because I need to get my head off everything.... A long walk”

-oO0Oo-

No matter how much she wanted to do the opposite of what Spock said, she found that she couldn’t ignore his warning about failing his class. After all she’d only have to put up with him for another month or so, then he would resign from his job as professor and they’d get a new one. She only hoped it wouldn’t be the substitute they had just after returning from the mission since he already seemed to have it in for her.

She had made one decision about her future: She would become Captain of a ship anyway. So she could proof that she was more than able to take care of herself and that she could do whatever she wanted. For this reason, she buried herself in classwork and had the feeling to be working harder than ever. This also had the effect that she didn’t think of all the troublesome events too much.

-oO0Oo-

Her hard work was bearing fruit almost a year later when the time for their training in practice on ships was approaching. For this, each cadet had to get a place on a spaceship to take part in missions for a couple of weeks. And since Carissa’s major was exobiology she knew that she’d be applying as biologist and science Officer. But she also put Communication Officer on the list which would be made accessible to Starfleet Captains who could choose the cadets for their ship. Since she had worked herself almost to the top of her year, she had very good references and was sure she’d get a nice ship. And, if she was lucky, maybe even a post on the bridge since she expressed her interest in becoming Captain one day. Of course she knew that she wouldn’t be made Chief Science or Communication Officer, but at first all cadets only were more like assistants before they actually could work as if they were member of the crew.

The first Starfleet Captain who got into contact with her was James Kirk. He invited you for a short interview so that he could decide if he wanted her. She was quite excited for it but as soon as she entered the room Kirk had told her to come, her mien dropped. On the Captain’s right was his First Officer. Which could only mean that Jim had planned to make her Spock’s assistant. Suppressing a groan, she greeted them both and sat down opposite them.

“Good, allow me to make this short. You’re damn good and it would be my honor to have you on the Enterprise as the assistant of my Chief science Officer” he looked at the Vulcan who sat there with a stoic mien “Surprise” if anything, Spock looked annoyed. “I know this is supposed to be a formal interview and all… but I’ve kind of already made my decision. I’m sure you’d both be happy to work with each other. Well maybe happy isn’t exactly the right word in Spock’s case but I’m sure you know what I mean…”

“Captain... I uh…”

“Come on, Carrie, we have already been on a first name basis before. Call me Jim”

“Okay then. Jim… I really appreciate your offer and it would be my honor to serve on the Enterprise…” she looked to Spock “But uh…” she looked at the table “We broke up”

“You did what?” he glanced to his First Officer “Why didn’t you tell me?” so Spock gave him in a long lecture that it was his own business and he had no obligation to tell the Captain about his private life. “Yeah I get it” Jim said, raising his hand “If you want, I can ask Uhura if she’d take you as her assistant instead. If I remember correctly you’re interested in the job of a Communication Officer as well, right?”

“Yes” she said and smiled “But uh… it really doesn’t need to be a post on the bridge”

“Oh but if I read your profile correctly you expressed your wish to become Captain eventually” at this Spock showed a reaction and his eyebrow cocked up. Carissa shot him a glance and the corners of her mouth twitched up. “So I think it would be good if you have a post on the bridge, besides you passed this damned simulation and broke it”

“As I already explained several times, Cadet Wiley did not ‘break’ the simulation, she merely discovered a feature I had not thought of before”

“Still… did you see her results, Spock? They’re brilliant”

“Yes, I know of her results as I have been the one to score her because the examiners thought it best, seeing that she had unfavorable conditions due to the desideratum in the simulation”

“You marked her? Was that even allowed? I mean… you were together at that time after all”

“In case you have forgotten, I have also been her professor for two years and I have never given her preferential treatment in anything that had to do with her education”

“Wow.” Jim said “Respect” Spock said nothing but quickly glanced at him “Ah, don’t mind him” he told Carissa “He’s been a bit pissed off since I saved his life”

“Your assumption that I am ‘pissed off’ is not correct. I am merely concerned what consequences we have to face for violating the Prime Directive” Carissa frowned

“And where did you interfere if I may ask?”

“It’s absolutely nothing to worry about… A volcano on Niribu was about to erupt when we decided to stop it. Spock went down into the volcano to put a cold fusion device there. But then we couldn’t beam him back aboard so we had to show the primitive inhabitants our ship… which they, by the way, could have seen anyway when we left if they just looked up in that moment…”

“Sorry if I correct you but wouldn’t just trying to stop the eruption be a violation of the directive?” she glanced at the Vulcan, expecting him to explain the matter.

“Technically yes, but only if anyone had seen us” Kirk replied “We had the perfect plan and the Nibirians wouldn’t have seen us if everything had went after plan”

“So I guess that the transporter not working was what you couldn’t foresee and what destroyed your plan?” Jim nodded.

“There was another problem first because Spock wasn’t even supposed to land in that volcano…” Carissa frowned then turned to her ex.

“Okay let’s make a short thought experiment. Let’s assume they would have waited until the eruption was over and all. At some point, the Enterprise would have needed to leave anyway, right? And I bet you could tell me the exact volume the ship would have made when they left”

“Indeed, given the fact that the Enterprise was un-…” she cut him off

“I said could give me the volume not that I want to hear it. This means the Nibirians would have heard that, right?”

“The chances are quite high, yes.”

“So what do you think they’d have done?” she paused shortly “Sure, they would have looked up and searched for what made the unknown noise. At least some of them. And guess what those who did would have done when they saw the ship? Yes, they would have told their friends and they’d have told it to others too. Ergo, in the end they would have known about the ship anyway, which makes your concern absolutely unnecessary” she said, crossing her arms. When his lips parted slightly and he raised an eyebrow she felt pride.

“Woah, did you just render him speechless?” Jim’s gaze flickered between them “Damn, when you finished your education here I want you on my ship” Carissa smiled sheepishly and mumbled a thank-you “Anyway, enough of this. I’ll talk to Uhura and ask her what she thinks and then I will let you know what my decision is. Unless you got another offer from another Captain”

“Actually you’re the first”

“Then maybe you should wait anyway. With your grades, experiences and recommendations it wouldn’t wonder me if everyone wanted you”

“Thanks” she smiled at both of them and then left.

-oO0Oo-

Two days later Kirk let her know that he wanted to see her. She was grateful that he was alone this time.

“Bad news, Carrie” he said “apparently Pike isn’t so pleased about the fact we saved the planet… and he also didn’t seem interested in your little thought experiment Spock has cited. In case you wondered, he calculated that the possibility that they could have seen the ship anyway was 89.4 percent or so”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

“I got demoted, they took the ship from me and sent me back to the Academy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that”

“And this means I can’t decide who’s gonna our apprentice”

“It’s okay” she said “I mean, you said yourself that I’ll get other offers too”

“Sure. But that won’t be on the newest and best ship of the fleet” he winked at her

“I really care more about the crew. Though I need to admit, it would have been a pleasure to be part of your crew”

“I feel honored. Hey, what about a comfort drinking anytime soon?”

“Comfort drinking?”

“Yeah. I lost the Enterprise, you lost your boyfriend…”

“Well that was already a year ago”

“When?”

“Just after we got back. He thought I could do better than him and that he brings me into danger”

“Yeah I just learned he can be a backstabbing little asshole. But what he did to you is even worse…”

“What did he do to you?”

“Filed a report about the details of the incidents at Niribu… that’s how Pike got to know of this”

“Didn’t you mention it in you log?”

“I might have… downplayed it to the sentence that “nothing eventful has happened”

“Great” she muttered “I am starting to think that’s the reason they sent you back to the academy. Not because of what you did but because you falsified the report”

“You know, I’ve wondered many times how you and Spock came to be but now that I’m getting to know you I realize how good you fit together. Well, how you would fit together if he didn’t think his Vulcan opinion counts more” she huffed

“Okay, I’m in”

“In what?”

“Comfort drinking…”

“Nice. It’s good to know a future classmate…after all I’ll be in your year now.”

-oO0Oo-

Although she first was not sure if it was the right idea to go to a bar with Jim she was glad she did so in the end. Finally she had found someone she could talk to about everything as she had wanted after her first and only mission and realized how good it felt. Though she had to admit, she could have done without Jim’s constant flirty comments. The words of her friend echoed in her mind ‘Don’t turn him down hastily. He is a good man, after all’ suddenly the situation got awkward as someone sat in between them. Carissa recognized him as Christopher Pike when he started talking to Jim.

“Uh maybe I should leave” Carissa said, not feeling well to listen to their talk

“Feel free to stay if you like” Pike said “Besides, it’s good to meet you here because there’s something I wanted to discuss with you”

“Sure” first he told Jim that the Command made him the new Captain of the Enterprise and that he wanted Jim as his First Officer. Then he turned to the brunette

“As you can see, I had to transfer Starfleet’s best science Officer for that. And I have a feeling that we’re gonna need two to replace him. Would you be interested in being the new Chief Science Officer’s assistant for your internship? I have read your file and I am pretty impressed. You’ve made yourself so much since we have last met”

“I-I yes... that would be great” she smiled “Thank you, Sir” as it seemed by now also Jim had realized that he didn’t have to go back to the Academy and thanked the Admiral. Before he could reply, his communicator beeped

“Emergency session” he said after having a look at it. “We need to leave. Cadet Wiley, we can take you back to the headquarters and drop you off at the Academy” he said to Carissa who gave a nod and finished her drink.

-oO0Oo-

“The Enterprise? I don’t believe it” Nicole shrieked when Carissa told her about the evening “See, I told you it’s a good idea to go there”

“I know”

“Hey isn’t our old Professor Chief Science Officer on the Enterprise? You could learn so much from him”

“Actually no… he’s been transferred and the Enterprise will get a new science Officer”

“Oh… but still. You already know some of the crew. I’m so jealous of you. But you deserve it, seeing as you worked so hard. Go on, have fun”

-oO0Oo-

Her good mood had died down the next morning. She had learned that the Conference Room Jim and Pike were in had been attacked and resulted in several deaths. Unfortunately she couldn’t find out more before her classes started and for the first time in ages she couldn’t focus at all. Somehow she managed to get through the day anyway and much to her surprise she learned that the Head of Starfleet, Admiral Marcus wished to see her. With a feeling as if she had done something bad or was about to receive ill news, she got on her way to his office in the evening.

“Cadet Wiley, I am glad you could make it” she was greeted and offered a seat “I have heard that Captain Pike has chosen you as Science Officer apprentice on board the Enterprise”

“That uh… is correct, Sir” she said

“Then I am sorry to inform you that Captain Pike was one of the casualties of the attack yesterday”

“He-he died?” Carissa whispered, looking down “Does that mean the new Captain of the Enterprise did not want me?”

“He said nothing about that. However, I could not help but have a look at your file. You are a promising young cadet and I would be interested in having you on my ship, the USS Vengeance, for your internship”

“Really?” she couldn’t believe it. The Head of Starfleet wanted her on his ship

“Yes, you seem to be one of the best of your year. However, I hope you understand that I’d first like to see you in action before I decide”

“Of course, Sir. What do you want me to do?”

“We will be leaving on a very short trip in a within the next few hours. It is short-term, I know, but if everything goes right you should be back by tomorrow morning. If you can arrange that I would be happy to have you with me as my communication Officer to see how you are doing” she smiled

“Yes, that would be great… I mean, thank you, Admiral” before she left, Carissa got the details for the short mission. She found that there was just enough time to go back to her dorm and deposit her school stuff and to let Nicole know she’d spend the night elsewhere before going to the meeting point. The journey with the shuttle took longer than she had thought and she was pretty sure they had long left Earth behind. Suddenly she was starting to feel a bit unwell. Why did he have his ship so far away from Earth, as if he didn’t want anyone to see it? A part of her started to wish she had declined his offer and would have accepted any other position on a small vessel. However, when they finally arrived, all her sorrows were thrown aboard when she saw the huge ship.

“Wicked” she murmured as they got closer and boarded it. For a reason unknown to her she was assigned to the bridge nonetheless. As if that wasn’t enough, Marcus told her that there was no Chief Communication Officer present on this mission but he doubted she’d need to do much anyway. She started wondering why he had wanted her on the ship then if he thought there wasn’t much for her to do. Or at least why he made her Communication Officer. Maybe he was just missing a man or woman and thought she could replace them? She smiled. That must be it, he solved to problem at once with this solution. Excitingly examining her instruments, she got ready for the journey. Nevertheless she felt a bit strange because she had no idea about half of the buttons in front of her. Of course she had been communication officer in some Kobayashi Maru simulations but this board was only a quarter of what she saw here. She was sure that Admiral Marcus wanted to see how she did in this new situation when she was clueless.

“Cadet Wiley, please start a ship-wide transmission”

“Sure, Captain” she did as requested then went to listen to

“Crew of the USS Vengeance, this is Admiral Marcus. We have received word from The USS Enterprise that they have, contrary to their orders, captured the fugitive John Harrison and plan to bring him back to Earth. It is down to us to bring him in our custody, if necessary by force. Admiral Marcus out” Carissa almost forgot to stop the transmission. Her thoughts were spinning. The Enterprise was involved? Since Pike was dead and she heard who ever got the ship now had violated orders she concluded that Jim was made Captain again. She didn’t like this at all. What was wrong with taken a fugitive prisoner? What else where they supposed to do? In the meantime, the ship had started and got ready for Warp. Once the woman realized they were heading into Klingon space, the neutral zone even, she only wished to be back at the Academy. “Cadet Wiley, once we reach the Enterprise I want you to hail them” she nodded

“W-what about the Klingons, Sir?”

“Let’s hope they stay oblivious to our presence” all too soon for her liking, they arrived and again she got the order to contact the Enterprise which she did with shaky hands “Captain Kirk” he spoke once they had answered the call. So she was right about the Captain anyway.

“Admiral Marcus, I haven’t been expecting you here, Sir”

“And I did not expect to get word that you took Harrison into custody in violation of your orders”

“Well yeah…” Jim stuttered “We had to improvise when we lost our Warp drive. But you already knew that didn’t you. I mean that is why you are here, to assist us with repairing?” probably not, Carissa thought. Though, if that was the case then the Admiral had no right to blame Jim for what he did. He could be lucky they were still alive and undiscovered by the Klingons. “Why else would the Head of Starfleet himself come to the neutral zone?” she heard that apparently Marcus gave an order to scan the Enterprise and Jim asked what he was trying to find.

“Where is the prisoner, Kirk?”

“I will transfer Khan to Earth where he can get a trial as Starfleet regulation wants it” that seemed to upset the Admiral while Carissa was wondering who Khan was. Besides, she knew she had heard that name before.

“Well shit. You talked to him… that is exactly what I hoped to spare you from when I ordered you to kill him on the spot” so Khan was Harrison? “I knew of the risk when I woke the bastard up but I needed his intellect to defend us against what would be coming next” what the hell was he talking about? She started to like this even less. “I admit that I made a mistake and now the blood of all those he killed is on my hands. So I ask you to give him to me that I can finish what I started” Carissa was still trying to figure everything out but could make no sense of it. All she got was that apparently Harrison (or Khan, whatever) had been supposed to help the Federation and then killed people and that was why he fled and was supposed to have been killed. But why killed? As Jim had suggested, he didn’t even have a trial yet, so wasn’t this against Starfleet regulations? Why did she have to be dragged into this?

“And what exactly do you expect me to do with the rest of his crew sir? Fire them at the Klingons? End 72 lives and start a war in the process?”

“What?!” instantly Carissa covered her mouth but that was one too much. Fire people on Klingons? Start a war? What the hell was Jim talking about? Somehow she couldn’t help but sense that this must have something to do with Admiral Marcus as well, or else Jim wouldn’t be telling him this.

“He put the people on those torpedoes” at least that answered the questions as of why Jim mentioned firing people onto the Klingons. Then again, why would someone put people, his crew, into torpedoes? “And I didn’t want to burden you by knowing what is inside them. You saw what this man can do by himself, so can you imagine what would happen if we woke the rest of his crew?” if only she could ask someone what they were talking about. She felt like an outsider who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She wanted to do something but had no idea what. “What else did he tell you? That he’s a peacekeeper? He is playing with you!” he continued telling them that apparently Khan and his crew (the people that now were in torpedoes) were condemned to death as war criminals. But what could his crew have done if they were not woken yet. Woken from what anyway? “And now it is your duty to carry out the sentence before anyone else dies because of them” there was silence and when Carissa looked back to the screen, she felt a lump in her throat. Spock was on this ship as well. Hadn’t he been transferred? “Now I am asking you again. One last time, son, lower your shields. Tell me where he is”

“He’s in engineering, Sir. But I’ll have him moved to the transporter room right away, Sir” at least something. Somehow she found she didn’t care what happened to Khan, as long as the Enterprise did what Marcus wanted. They had him in custody after all, she was sure he wouldn’t kill him as he initially wanted to. The Admiral agreed and signaled Carissa to end the communication.

“Shall I inform the transporter room that they can beam the fugitive aboard, Sir?”

“Yes. And then tell the Enterprise to inform us when they are ready” she nodded and did as requested. When she tried to reach the Enterprise she saw that they were out of range

“Sir…” before she could say anything the Admiral was already informed that the Enterprise had gone to Warp and headed to Earth.

“Go after them and get ready to destroy the ship”

“No!” she found herself shouting “Sir we cannot fire onto one of our ships unless they’re an immediate danger to us or others”

“Don’t forget you’re only a Cadet, Miss Wiley”

“I-I’m sorry Sir… but I thought I had to say something because sometimes you can’t just sit around and do nothing… I-I am sure this is only a misunderstanding. Jim Kirk is someone who believes in justice” she wasn’t one hundred percent sure of that but she had to say it “and that is why he wants to make sure that this Khan is treated as Starfleet wants it. I’m sure he only fears, incorrectly of course, that Khan will be executed when he is on this ship. There is no reason to kill the entire crew of the Enterprise for that, this is wrong, Sir. Sorry, but I had to say this, you wanted to see me in action and I will not just stand idly by when I sense injustice around” she was a bit astonished of herself about her courage but like hell was she gonna let the Enterprise being destroyed and people killed. Marcus only looked at her with slight surprise then ordered the helms man to keep on pursuing the other ship. What was he trying to do? The Enterprise was at Warp. There was nothing they could do. Or could they? Suddenly Marcus ordered to fire and it made Carissa believe she had the answer to her question. For all she could see and hear, the Enterprise got hit and finally dropped out of Warp. Shortly after, they did the same and continued firing on the much smaller ship “We’ve got them. We’ve got them” Carissa cried hysterically “There’s no need to fire now! We can talk to them. There is another way!” when the Admiral kept a straight face and gave orders to continue firing she was that close to knock him out even if that was mutiny. Then suddenly she saw that the Enterprise tried to reach them “Admiral. They’re hailing us. A Carol Marcus is hailing us. I’m sure they’ve learned their lesson. Please, they’re hailing us” at this, Marcus ordered to cease firing and requested Carissa to put them on the screen.

“What are you doing on that ship?” The Admiral asked. Suddenly the brunette realized that he must know her. As Carol continued talking, she realized that she was the Admiral’s daughter who tried to talk sense into him

“Women” Carissa breathed in relief “We always need to save the day”

“If you want to destroy the Enterprise, you will have to do this with me on board”

“Actually, Carol, I won’t” he must have ordered to beam her on board of their ship which was instantly done. Unfortunately, he still thought he had to destroy the Enterprise anyway. “Captain Kirk, without authorization and in league with the fugitive John Harrison you went rogue in enemy territory leaving me no choice but to hunt you down and destroy you. Lock phasers” he directed the last order to the helmsman who did so. Carissa sat there like frozen, unsure what to do.

“Wait, Sir!” Kirk cried.

“I’ll make this quick. Target all aft torpedoes on the bridge of the Enterprise” now she felt tears in her eyes and felt them rolling down her cheeks. Maybe she couldn’t stop the Admiral. But Starfleet could… she got ready to contact them at any moment

“Sir, my crew was just following my orders” Jim said “I take full responsibility for my actions. But they were mine and mine alone. If I transmit Khan’s location to you now, all I ask of you is that my crew is spared. Please, Sir, I’ll do anything you want… just let them live” Carissa looked at Marcus almost pleadingly.

“That’s a hell of an apology. But if it’s any consolation, I was never going to spare your crew” she made a quick decision and contacted Starfleet Command

“Starfleet Command?” she cried “Here’s Cadet Carissa Wiley aboard the USS Vengeance. The Admiral orders the unjustified destruction of the Enterprise. I-I... Send help, I’ll give you our coordinates” she jumped up to do so when she was grabbed

“No you won’t” Marcus turned to the one holding her “I believe the Enterprise is a science Officer short after I had to beam my daughter here. Let’s return them one before we destroy the ship”


	5. The Horrors of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, the chapter contains death and mentions of it.

“Sir” she saw Spock stepping towards the screen “I would like to remind you that what Cadet Wiley did was only a minor violation of Starfleet regulations. You therefore have no reason to punish her that severely and more importantly without a trial” when she realized that he was trying to protect her, her face lit up a little.

“Oh Spock, always so correct and formal” Marcus said with a sigh and then signaled someone to end the communication.

“He is right, though, Sir” Carissa said “And you know that. And you also know that what you’re planning to do to the Enterprise is wrong”

“If I were you I’d be more careful with what I say”

“You wanted me on board of this ship because you wanted to see what I can do. You saw it and if you don’t like it, you can chose not to have me on your ship for my apprenticeship. Besides, I am not an official member of Starfleet yet so I cannot be held fully responsible for this.” he looked at her

“Actually, I wanted you on my ship as leverage in case they refused to deliver Harrison” she gasped, hung her head and felt tears in her eyes. He didn’t want her because of her good work. He had only used her.

“But… why didn’t you use me then?”

“They sealed their destiny by fleeing anyway. Which is more than I hoped for” he turned to the man holding her “Bring her to the brig” the officer behind her didn’t give an answer but turned around and dragged her away. “Fire at will” Marcus ordered

“No! No, you can’t do this! That’s wrong!” she screamed, trying to break free but to no avail. The left the bridge behind and she broke out in tears. A part of her wished she was on the Enterprise as well because she found it wrong that she would survive and they wouldn’t. It wasn’t fair, she knew that they had done nothing wrong. They only violated unethical orders what never justified what the Admiral wanted to do. She felt hatred towards the man, hatred which she had only reserved for one person so far; Nero. And she knew one thing: she wouldn’t let Marcus get through with this. There had to be something she could do. Suddenly the lights went out and before she even knew it, she dropped herself that the man holding her almost stumbled. She used his surprise to kick him between the legs and hit her fists against his head, then delivered another blow to his stomach. Only now did he try to do something to stop her but due to his pain he was a little too slow. After all Carissa had promised herself that she wouldn’t be disadvantaged in another fight and trained combat when she needed a break from all the studying. It felt good, knowing for what she had worked although she had hoped she wouldn’t need to use it. Finally, she managed to bring him down but got a few bruises herself, about which she didn’t care. She took his weapon and stunned him before putting the phaser on her belt. She ran to the next computer she found to see if there was anything she could do. “Come on…” she muttered. At first she wanted to take down the weapons, if possible but to her surprise that already was the case. “Oh thank goodness” she breathed deeply and cracked her knuckles, tapping her way through the computer to see if there was anything else she could do to. It wasn’t much because she was able to look at the data but she couldn’t chance or modify anything without authorization. Maybe if she was able to send the ship’s blueprints to the Enterprise they were able to cripple the Vengeance enough… or blow it up. She swallowed and took her communicator, silently thanking the Admiral for making her the Communication Officer so she knew the Enterprise’s frequency. “Enterprise?” she spoke “Here’s Cadet Carissa Wiley”

“Enterprise, Commander Spock here.” her heart made a leap. He was alive. The ship hadn’t been destroyed yet. “Carissa, are you alright? Where are you? Did the Admiral beam you back onto the Enterprise?”

“Spock… Sir, I’m fine. I’m still on the Vengeance and I’ve got a computer with the ship’s blueprint in front of me. There’s gotta be a way that I can send them to you so that you can… destroy the ship if necessary”

“That would be of no use because even if you were able to transmit us the plans, for what you would need to be on the bridge, we could not do anything as we have lost almost all power and will not be able to fire”

“Then what else can I do? There’s got to be something”

“The Captain will be arriving at Hangar seven of dock thirteen of the Vengeance in 5.3 minutes if everything goes according to plan. I would like you to go there, wait outside the hangar and stay with him, do you understand?”

“I do. Outside hangar seven, dock thirteen, in five minutes” she nodded and started searching for said hangar after ending the communication. She already knew that she wouldn’t make it to the hangar in time but she was quite sure that Jim would be late anyway. Hopefully, she wouldn’t miss him, besides she was sure that Spock would let him know that he was supposed to meet her. Then Jim could wait until she arrived. This seemed to be the case and Jim and two other men came towards her when she entered the hangar. The Captain grabbed her shoulders

“There you are. He said you’d be there. How are you?”

“I’m fine. What’s the plan? Can I help?”

“We’re heading to the bridge to take him out” Jim replied

“I know where to go” Carissa said with a smile “I’m just coming from the bridge”

“Allow me to lead us” the man on Jim’s left said “I know the ship better than anyone else”

“Uh…” she looked to Jim and the other man.

“Do as he says. He helped construct the ship” the brunette nodded

“Alright. Lead the way” she stepped aside and they followed the man

“I think I know ye, lassie”

“Yeah I feel the same about you. Weren’t you on the mission a year ago? With Nero?”

“Aye, this was my first mission with the Enterprise”

“Mine too. My very first mission. Carissa Wiley” she breathed

“Montgomery Scott. Ye can call me Scotty”

“And who’s this other guy?”

“Khan” Jim replied. She stopped.

“What? Isn’t he the reason we’re all here in the first place?”

“Carissa, we’ve got time for that later. We’re allies now that we have a common enemy”

“Alright” that made sense. She had nothing against making allies but there was a nagging feeling which told her that Khan would betray them. Suddenly, Khan got into a fight with a crew member of the Vengeance and shortly after the three others had to defend themselves as well. The woman was glad that she wasn’t alone this time because she doubted she’d have been able to fight on her own, even if there had only been one opponent. In the end, one of the others stunned her attacker and Jim helped her up, asking if she was okay.

“Wait, where’s Khan?” Scotty asked. Great.

“Shall I take over the lead?” Carissa asked “I-I mean I’ve been on this ship a bit longer”

“Sure” she nodded and continued running, realizing a corridor later that she had no idea where she was

“I-I think Khan took another way than I did… I have no idea where we are, Sir”

“Don’t worry” she was assured and Jim took over the lead until Khan found them and told them to follow him again. Jim ordered to take him out once they arrived at the bridge. This relieved her, she was not the only one distrusting the stranger. Shortly before they arrived at the bridge again, the power had come back on and once they arrived, she stunned every bridge member she could see, except for the Admiral and his daughter. Somehow she was glad that she hadn’t been on the bridge right now or else she could have been stunned too. After everyone was out, Khan got stunned by Scotty. Jim told them to make sure he stayed down, whereupon Carissa nodded and went over to the criminal, pointing her weapon at him with shaky hands. “Admiral Marcus, you are under arrest” as it seemed, he only seemed to taunt the younger male and refused to listen to him. Then he started telling Jim that a war between the Federation and the Klingons would come because Jim’s actions had seen to this.

“Who is gonna lead us? You? If I am not in this chair, all our lives are over” Carissa grimaced. Sure, half an hour earlier he was the one trying to destroy a whole ship… “So if you want me off this ship, you’d better kill me” somehow Carissa felt the urge to do so herself. A part of her was surprised when Jim refused, on the other hand she never believed he could have done it.

“I’d stun and drag your ass out of this chair. But I’d rather not do that in front of your daughter” that sounded more like him. She let out a small chuckle when Khan suddenly shot up and grabbed her, painfully twisting her hand that she dropped the weapon

“Drop your weapons or I’ll break her neck” he ordered. Scotty instantly complied, Jim followed shortly after. Khan pushed her away, knocked Scotty out and brought Jim to the ground with a couple of hits before he went after the Admiral who was trying to leave. Marcus’ daughter obviously tried to stop him but Khan also managed to get her out of the way, making her scream in pain. He grabbed the Admiral by his head and told him something. Carissa was lucky she couldn’t exactly see what was happening but there was a gruesome cracking sound that made Carol scream and Carissa want to vomit. Of course she had somehow wanted him dead but not like that. Khan stepped back to Jim, yanked him up and started a connection with the Enterprise. “I’m gonna make this simple for you. Your crew for my crew” he dragged Jim in front of the screen. Carissa’s eyes fell onto her phaser that was a few feet from her. She probably couldn’t get it without the enemy noticing. But maybe she could do something else to distract him? Maybe Carol, Jim and Scotty could help her to take him down afterwards. Together they could succeed. She slowly moved to see if Scotty was even conscious. When she saw that he was, she slowly got up behind Khan. Unfortunately, he must have heard her, knocked Jim down with the phaser he was holding and grabbed her instead. She tried to wiggle free, but to no avail, Khan’s grip got tighter. When she threw a look at the screen she could see that Spock wasn’t happy at all. “Mr Spock give me my crew”

“And what will you do when you get them?”

“Continue the work we were doing before we were banished” which probably must have been something bad or else they wouldn’t have been banished… also the Vulcan had made this conclusion as it seemed “Shall I destroy you, Mr Spock? Or maybe her?” he yanked her head back painfully “Or will you give me what I want?”

“We have no transporter capabilities”

“Fortunately, mine are working perfectly fine drop your shields” somehow Carissa couldn’t believe it. Was he actually making a deal with Khan because of her? Or the crew of the Enterprise? He had just said that Khan would murder millions, if not more…

“If we do so, we have no guarantee that you will not destroy the Enterprise”

“Then let’s play this out logically, Mr Spock” Khan took a step back “Firstly,” he knocked her head against the armrest of the Captain’s chair. She tried to fight unconsciousness but she couldn’t help being sucked away into darkness.

-oO0Oo-

Somehow she felt as if something or someone was touching her thoughts. She tried to find the source of the strange sensation and quickly found it standing in front of her

“Spock” got up and walked towards him, trying to find out where she was. It looked like nowhere. It was just black and all she could see was the Vulcan next to her. Nevertheless it seemed like the place had a hard surface which they were standing on “What-what happened?”

“Khan collided the temporal lobe of your head with the most solid part of the armrest”

“Oh yeah I remember. He hit my head against this chair. What happened then?”

“He used your injury as means of extortion against me and promised that you could be saved if I acted quickly and gave him his crew”

“So you did?”

“No. I had the people removed from the torpedoes and ignite them before we allowed him to beam them on the other ship”

“Clever” she mumbled “But where are we?”

“Your body is in the medical bay and I am beside you. Our minds, however… I cannot say with certainty where I have brought us”

“Wait we… we are in a mind meld?”

“Correct”

“But-but why?” she sensed that if he made a mind meld, the situation must be less than favorable. There was a sudden wave of sadness and anger hitting her. And that weren’t her emotions.

“Your body is passing away and I had to use this chance to make my farewells”

“I-I’m gonna die?” she whispered, looking at him in shock. “But you said Khan promised I could be save if you do what he wanted… or else he wouldn’t have brought me back… I’m sure the doctors must have been able to treat me?” he shook his head and placed a hand on hers.

“No, Carissa. He has beamed you into one of the cells of the brig. By the time you have been found and brought you to the Sickbay, it was too late and there was nothing they could do for you anymore. So I came here as quickly as I could” she shook her head and felt tears in her eyes

“But I don’t want to die”

“I wish you would not have to either but there is nothing we can do for you” sobbing, she leant her head against his shoulder. He turned around to wrap his arms around her and leaned his head to hers “I wanted to apologize for hurting you by distancing myself from you. I wrongly assumed this would be the only way to ensure your safety” she let out a hiccup.

“Everyone makes mistakes” she tried her best to smile “At least I still live to see the day where you got something wrong and admitted it”

“It is unknown to me how you can be joking in this situation”

“Sorry” she mumbled “What’s going on anyway? I-I mean is Khan defeated? Did the explosion of the torpedoes kill him?”

“Unfortunately not. However, I do not wish to trouble you further with the details of our situation”

“Are you in trouble?”

“That would be one way of putting it”

“Did Jim take back the conn? Or why are you here with me then?”

“There was nothing I could do to change our situation. This, I decided to come and see you one last time” she gave a light nod.

“Maybe you should leave. You need to be there for the crew. Moral support. As you said, there’s nothing you can do for me”

“I am not leaving you again unless it is your wish I do so”

“You’re the Acting Captain now. The crew needs you more than I do... I mean if you leave I won’t be feeling or sensing anything, right?” he agreed. “That’s more like I want it. It’s better if I don’t feel the end coming”

“Are you sure about this?” she gave a nod, then dug her fingers into his arm

“But Spock. Promise me two things”

“Anything” she slightly sat up and formed a peace-sign with her hand, not feeling strong enough to try the proper Vulcan greeting.

“Live long and prosper. Literally, don’t you even dare to die before you’re not as old as Spock Prime, okay? And tell this everyone else. My parents, Nicole, Lucie, Jim, and everyone else”

“I will” he said intertwining his fingers with hers “In return I hope that you will get whatever happy beliefs of a life after death you have”

“I think it’s like a big, big room where everyone you knew and who died will be. Only people you want to see, of course” he nodded slightly and she thought she could see a tear in the corner of his eye “Please, when you find my parents, tell them I love them” she shifted so that she could touch his face “And Spock. I love you. I tried to forget you or the feelings I had for you when you broke up… but that didn’t work. I still love you, more than ever.”

“The same applies for me, Carissa” she smiled happily and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

“Thanks for coming and saying goodbye”

“There is no need to thank me” he let go of her hand to brush his fingers against her face. “Would you allow me to kiss you one last time?”

“It would be my pleasure” she couldn’t say how much she had missed the feelings of his lips on hers. Although she never wanted it to stop, she pulled away after a while “The living need you” she breathed.

“I promise I will do what you asked of me and I will be giving my best to save the Enterprise and her crew and arrest Khan again. He will not get away with this”

“Better not” she chuckled and gently tousled his hair. He pressed his lips against her forehead

“Farewell, Carissa” he said quietly.

“Goodbye, Spock” she whispered. Suddenly he was gone and there was only blackness around her. One last time she smiled, then she knew nothing more.

-oO0Oo-

There was a brightness, which Carissa assumed must be heaven. Her head was throbbing a bit and she wondered why. She had always thought all pain would stop after someone’s death. Or maybe that just was some kind of transition phase until she arrived where she was supposed to go? Like where would be decided if she went to heaven or hell? Slowly, she tried to open her eyes and all she saw was a whitish light. Then the room started to take shape. It looked a lot like a Medical room.

“Oh Miss Wiley. You’re awake a couple of minutes early”

“Huh?” her voice was rasped. Suddenly she saw a form leaning over her and examining her “What-what’s that?” she tried to push the hand away

“Wait, this is necessary. You almost died. Technically you were dead for a couple of minutes” she tried to frown at the nurse above her.

“Wait… I-I’m alive?”

“Yes you are. Besides, you’re about to get a visitor. I’ve tried to tell him you need rest but he insisted to be here when you wake up and tried to calculate when your cells should have regenerated so that you’d wake up… Seems like he was out by about twenty minutes” her lips curled into a smile. She know only one person in the world who’d try to calculate something like this.

“But what happened?”

“I’m sure you’ll be told when you’re feeling better”

“But I feel fine” she replied truthfully.

“Then wait at least until the morning” she gave a shrug, knowing she could just ask Spock when he arrived

“What’s the time?”

“4.12 AM. You have been out for almost two days”

“38 hours and 43 minutes, which is exactly 1.613 period days. Counting from the point of time where Khan has caused injury to you to just now” she smiled

“Not quite correct then. I guess I woke up 2 minutes ago or so” she chuckled

“I correct myself; it have been 1.6116 period days that you were unconscious.”

“Vulcans” she heard the nurse mutter what made her smile brighter. Spock slowly came closer and watched the rest of her examination before the healer told her that she was alright. “In fact you could go back to the Academy today if it wasn’t Sunday” this surprised her. Hours before she was dying and now she was in great health. What had happened? She answered the statement with a simple shrug, feeling glad that it was Sunday anyway “Alright, I’ll give you two a minute but she really should get some rest” somehow Carissa was glad that she would leave because she had the feeling that she had a lot to talk about with the Vulcan. She patted the mattress and told him to have a seat. He sat down reluctantly and wanted to know how she was

“Well you just got the medical report: I’m as fresh as a daisy. And I also feel fine. As fine as I can be in that situation… but how is that possible? You told me I was dying”

“At that point you have been on the brink of death”

“Tell me what happened”

“Carissa, I am unsure if this is an advantageous idea right now”

“Why? Did… something bad happen?” she swallowed. When she had seen Spock here she assumed that the rest of the Enterprise’s crew was okay as well. “Spock, I need to know. Tell me, make it short if you want but tell me what happened after I got knocked out”

“Very well, I will attempt to summarize the events. Upon your unconsciousness, Khan has repeated his request to reacquire his crew in exchange for the Captain, Lieutenant Commander Scott and you. But as I have already told you during our mind meld, I had his people removed from the torpedoes and detonated them. The explosion neutralized among other his weapon system what made it impossible for him to continue firing on the Enterprise”

“He tried to destroy you anyways?” but somehow she had already guessed that anyway. The Vulcan agreed and continued telling her that due the damage, the Enterprise had no power and was falling towards Earth

“I gave orders to abandon the ship but the bridge crew remained on their posts with me. After Dr McCoy as let me know of your status, I made the decision to come and see you”

“So you basically kept the Enterprise falling to death a secret from me at that point?”

“As I said, I did not want to trouble you further in that situation. I was on my way back to the bridge when the systems returned. I was informed that I was requested to come to engineering where I learned that the Captain had manually aligned the Warp core. Shortly after and in my presence he died of the radiation poisoning”

“J-Jim’s dead?” she felt tears in her eyes. That’s why he thought it wasn’t a good idea to tell her now.

“Yes, he is” without really thinking, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She didn’t even want to imagine how it must have been for him to lose his friend just after losing her. Though, he didn’t really lose her. “But he can be saved”

“What? Didn’t you just say he is dead?”

“I did, but Khan’s blood was able to save him. It was able to save you both from death” so that was the reason she was still alive.

“And what happened to Khan?”

“That was what I wanted to tell you next. The Vengeance has had a forceful collision with the surface of the Earth. I strongly assume it was his deliberate decision to do so. We could not beam him back aboard due to the limited availability of our systems, thus I got transported to Earth to pursue and arrest him, which I only managed after Lieutenant Uhura was beamed down to help and inform me that we needed Khan alive in order to save the Captain and you. Once we brought Khan back on board, the doctor and I developed a serum from his blood that we used to save you” she smiled.

“Well I’m glad that I didn’t have to experience all of this” she said “But does that mean Jim will be alright too?”

“Eventually, yes. But he will need to stay in a coma for longer because his body needs to regenerate every cell of his body while yours only had to replace a couple billion brain cells”

“Which still is a lot” she giggled “Just imagine it would have been you. Then it would have taken ages for all your brain cells to being regenerated”

“Actually, intellect has nothing to do with the number of nerve cells but rather the quantity of networks between them” she let out another giggle

“Right, I forgot. Then your head must look like a ball of wool” he only raised an eyebrow and she couldn’t help but sitting up, moving closer and wrapping her arms around him

“Thank you” she whispered

“It would have been necessary to capture Khan anyway”

“No, I meant thank you for coming to see me. Today and on the ship. I mean… we aren’t on the ship anymore, are we?”

“No, you have been brought to the hospital of San Francisco after we injected you the serum”

“Is Jim here too?”

“He is in this hospital as well, yes”

“But when you said that Khan crashed to the Earth… where did he land?”

“In San Francisco. We assume that he has planned to wipe out as much of Starfleet and the Federation as possible”

“So he hit… Starfleet headquarter?”

“Parts of it, indeed”

“What about the Academy? The cadets?”

“There has not been enough time to discover all impacts of Khan’s strike. But I am positive that a majority of the cadets are fine, seeing as the ship mainly destroyed office buildings”

“Oh. Let’s hope not too many people died” she said, nestling her head against his chest.

“Fortunately, it was on a Saturday, so I am certain that only about 17 percent of the offices have been occupied” he placed a hand on her back to pull her tighter against him. For a while they both remained silent. “Carissa, would you mind telling me how you came to be on the USS Vengeance? From all I know the ship was docked at coordinates somewhere near a Jovian moon”

“Oh yeah… that’s quite the story. It had to do with my internship, you know? Jim told me that he couldn’t take me after his demotion but instead Pike offered me a position on the Enterprise… then he died and Admiral Marcus said he considered making me his communication Officer. But first he wanted to see me ‘in action’ so he told me to come on this short mission. We flew to the Jupiter, which I didn’t know back then, and boarded the ship to go after you. And well, you know what happened then… but after he ended the transmission for the second time, he revealed that the only reason he wanted me on his ship was to… use me as leverage if Jim refused to hand over Khan. But then he found it even better that you fled, so he had a ‘reason’ to destroy you. Which I’m glad he didn’t” he said nothing but she had a feeling that he wasn’t pleased. “I have been so stupid… I never should have agreed to his offer. I should have known he only wanted to use me!”

“There was no way you could have known. I have allowed myself to have a look at your application file for the internship and the chances that the Head of Starfleet would choose you due to your grades were absolutely not absurd”

“But why did he think he could use me as leverage against Jim?”

“To choose you was the most logical option, seeing as he could deliver an obvious reason for assigning you to his ship. Besides, whereas he might not have known of your cordial feelings for the Captain, he surely knew of your affiliation to me. Maybe he was looking for a chance to use you against me”

“How could he know of our relationship?”

“After the destruction of my home, I had to file a report for him, in which I had to mention it”

“Oh right. You told me that before you… well you know” she didn’t want to finish the sentence.

“Which is something I wanted address as well”

“What exactly?”

“The fact I believed it was better to stay away from you in an attempt to protect you. However, the events of yesterday have made me realize that us being apart makes no difference. The only effect our separation had was that it made you feel sad. To be honest, there were times where even I had the sentiment that something or rather someone was missing. Besides, I have believed you lost for 17 minutes and 47 seconds which were the second worst minutes in my life” he paused and when she looked at him, she placed a hand on his cheek “This experience has shown me quite plainly that a life without you in it will make me sad. Or at least feel a sensation of loss and loneliness. For this reason I wanted to ask you if you are willing to give me another chance”

“I hope you know that I’ve tried my very best to hate you in the past year. At first I did, then I got over it and I couldn’t even forget you. I somehow didn’t want to let you go and a part of me knew that I was being stupid and utterly delusional… whereas the other part had hoped you’d finally come around and see that your decision was rubbish. So yes” she cupped his face and smiled “I will give you another chance” she put on a serious mien “But” she raised her right forefinger “I have one rule. You need to respect me and my decisions more and I don’t want you to try and stop me if you dislike them or you’re trying to protect me. Of course, you can mention your concern or give me advice but ultimately, the decision is mine and mine alone. Besides, no backstabbing or secret business behind my back just because you’re trying to protect me again or whatever.”

“I understand and accept your conditions. And I believe I need to inform you that I have contacted your parents to communicate them your status prior to your proclamation”

“You told my parents I almost died?”

“As a matter of fact, your vital functions have intermitted for about four minutes according to Doctor McCoy. Luckily, they have detected the effect of Khan’s blood by then and were able to revive you and foreclose a cerebral death if they just managed to keep you alive until they had the serum. However, you have been clinically dead for those four minutes.”

“And you told my parents that?”

“It would have been incorrect to say that you ‘almost died’ because of your clinical death”

“But they know that I am alive now? God that sounds so stupid…”

“Yes, I have explained them what I just told you and if I understood them correctly, they are on their way here and should be arriving in the course of the morning”

“Oh great. That’s what I needed. Mum and Dad fussing over me because they think I’m dead”

“Technically they should know that you are not dead”

“If not, they’ll get a nice surprise when they come here. Ugh, but then I won’t be getting out of here until Mum’s made sure I’m better. And I’m already perfectly fine now, so there won’t be any improvement and I’ll stay here for the rest of my life”

“Your conclusions do not seem very logic to me” she let out a giggle

“I must admit, I missed those constant comments about logic” he raised an eyebrow what made her smile brighter “And I’ve missed that eyebrow thing you do” again she nestled closer to him with a happy sigh. “I’m so happy I could die again”

“I doubt it is possible to die from happiness”

“Unless you’re so emotional and dumb that you do something dangerous without realizing it”

“I correct, the possibility to die from happiness is below 1.62 percent”

“Did you just calculate the death rate of happiness?”

“It appears so”

“Damn, that’s actually quite high for something this positive…”

“And that is why logic is much safer”

“Ah but solely logic can make you jump to untrue conclusions. Like if you say ‘All animals die. My grandparents have died’ then you would get the conclusion that your grandparents were animals. It is a logical one but wrong. So you need knowledge if you want to use logic or you’d be terribly lost”

“Correct. It is favorable then that we Vulcans possess that much knowledge”

“Or maybe logic is the reason you have it. Because you will need to use your intellect to analyze everything about a decision and consider the consequences whereas we humans use our gut feeling” she let out a yawn” That’s important when it needs to be quick”

“You mean your decision to send a distress call to Starfleet command after Admiral Marcus ordered the destruction of our ship was such a ‘gut feeling’?”

“Exactly”

“Then I might have underestimated the importance of emotions for a decision”

“So you’re saying what I did was right?”

“I can only say that it certainly was not wrong and it also was not entirely right. Its usefulness, however can be disputed. But I daresay it must have taken you a considerable amount of courage to do it”

“Definitely” she chuckled “But I think I know what you mean. After all I was violating the Admiral’s order, who again was violating Starfleet law. So it was necessary to inform the Starfleet command about this, but in the end Admiral Marcus is their head anyway and would ultimately decide what is to be done. So, in fact, even if the whole distress call had been successful, they could not have done anything without Marcus’ permission, which again would have been a violation of the law from their side. However, if they had chosen to go against Marcus they would have violated another law because they ignored his order. Besides, it would have been unlikely that they would have managed to get there before the Enterprise was destroyed. However, offending an order, respectively acting on your own is much less of a crime than violating Federation law, besides it would be more logical to try and save the Enterprise. And that would be about the path of thought of a Vulcan had they been in my situation and by the time they decided it was better to do the distress call, the Enterprise could have been destroyed. With a gut feeling, however you just see: Friends in danger. Maybe even the violation of Starfleet law. And then you decide ‘Fuck authority’ and make the call.”

“Which has probably saved us because it has distracted the Admiral what gave Mr Scott more time to power down the systems of the Vengeance” she felt his lips against the top of her head “It appears to me that you are trying to show me the positive effects of feelings”


	6. A New Start

When the nurse came back she seemed pretty upset that Spock was still there and sent him away, claiming that Carissa would get much more attention tomorrow morning. She was right about that and the brunette got woken by her two best friends Nicole and Lucie.

“Look who’s come back from the dead” Nicole grinned as she ruffled her hair.

“Leave me alone” she grumbled, pulling away from her. Yet she couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh Cassie, you’ve got no idea how worried I was when we heard what happened to you!”

“I can imagine” she chuckled

“Are you really fine? I mean we were told of this special super-human blood you got… but are you sure there won’t be side-effects?”

“No”

“Cassie, guess what?”

“Huh?”

“I think you’re gonna get a new suitor soon” Lucie sing sang

“What?”

“Oh yes… Patrick has let it slip that he is gonna ask you on a date when you’re back at the Academy”

“Oh” she looked down “Actually… I’m in a relationship again”

“Really? And you didn’t tell me? Spit it out, who is it?”

“It uhm… happened shortly ago, so I couldn’t tell you yet because I haven’t seen you since then”

“Go on, tell us who it is!”

“I think I should first ask him if he’s okay with that”

“Oh come on just tell us… we won’t tell anyone”

“Girls” she said “I’d rather not discuss that now. And somehow I also don’t want to talk about my mission either. At least not now… what have you done yesterday? I mean after the attack and all?”

-oO0Oo-

They updated their injured friend until they had to leave but before that, Nicole had to break some news to her

“I’m sure you heard that huge spaceship you were on crashed down into Starfleet headquarters, right?”

“Yeah”

“Well uh… it’s taken down three dorm towers… among other ours. We’re homeless” she spread her arms and made a slow shrug

“Oh… Do-do you know of anyone who got hurt? O-or worse?”

“Luckily, not so many people were at the Academy when it happened and the ship didn’t reach the Academy so only very few actually were in their dorms and got into danger. I think I heard it were 45 casualties and 19 or so injured”

“Hm… that less than I thought. But other people have died too. The people in those offices who worked anyways”

“Yeah… but we haven’t heard anything about that yet either”

“I have a feeling we soon will” Carissa’s friends nodded, then said goodbye and left. Only now it started do dawn on her what the destruction of the dorm tower meant. She had nowhere to sleep. And everything she possessed was gone and had been razed to the ground. She started worrying about her cat. Had it died? What about all the other pets of cadets? And what was she supposed to do when she was released from the hospital; where should she go to? Deciding that she felt well enough to go for a walk, to get rid of these thoughts and left the bed but was immediately stopped by a nurse.

“Look, I’m bored and I really need something to do because I can’t be alone with my thoughts” suddenly she wanted her parents to be here. Then she wouldn’t be alone at least. “When are my parents arriving?”

“We do not know. But if you go to bed now, I can organize you a PADD with books that you can read.” she gave a shrug

“Okay. That’s fine” shortly after she was laying on her stomach on her bed with a cup of tea beside her and a PADD on her pillow, reading a 20th century book. At some point a doctor came to make a last check, then set up her release papers and advised her not to go to the Academy the next day. Somehow she was happy to hear that, on the other hand she wanted to go back to school to be distracted and not miss something. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and her parents entered.

“Oh dear, you’ve got no idea how worried we were when your superior called us” she didn’t feel the need to correct her. “What do you think we felt when he told us you had died?”

“Well he then told you that I can be saved, didn’t he?”

“I think he tried to but he was talking so fast and complex. Besides, do you have any feeling in what state we were when we thought you dead? Of course we weren’t able to follow him, trying to explain us something impossible” her mother sighed and took the PADD away, putting it on the night stand. “What are you even doing, you’re supposed to rest, you almost died. Henry, help me turning her on her back” she groaned and did as they wanted

“Better now?” she crossed her arms. “But Mum, you have to believe me, I am fine. I know it must be hard for you to believe it, but I actually just got my release papers about half an hour ago”

“They did what? What kind of hospital is this? Henry, go get us a nurse, they can’t be serious!”

“Mum!” she shouted “Please, I’ll tell you everything. Just don’t make a fuss, okay?”

“Don’t make a fuss? Don’t make a fuss? Do you hear yourself talking?” unfortunately, her father had left to get someone. “According to that Commander- whatever his name was- you have died. Died, Carissa!”

“Yes. And I myself know best how I am feeling. I was on the brink of a cerebral death and therefore definite death, yes. But they used a special serum to save me. It regenerated all affected cells. Now it’s like nothing happened. Even the headache’s gone”

“And who tells me there won’t be any effects later on? Or side effects?”

“Oh Mum, if there’s something like that, they’ll also come when I’m out of hospital”

“Yes but imagine you’re having this effect when you’re alone… what if you can’t be saved then? When you stay here, they can treat you directly. Oh Henry, you’re back, thank goodness, you found someone” she breathed out in relief when her father entered with an Andorian nurse in tow “Oh no wonder... if they have such people working here it’s no wonder they can’t treat their patients correctly”

“Mum!” she moaned, wanting to bury her face in her hands because she was so embarrassed. And it got worse when her mother told the nurse how she found it impossible that Carissa was allowed to leave already given the extent of her injury. Luckily, the Andorian took it rather calmly and told her parents what she already knew and let them see the results of the latest check

“She really is fine” her mother murmured

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“Well but I’m sure you must be mentally exhausted with everything you have been through. Someone tried to kill you!”

“That wouldn’t be the first time” she mumbled.

“Besides, I find it irresponsible of the Head of Starfleet to take you on a mission that is about a serial killer and mass murderer.” luckily, they didn’t know the real reason she had been on the ship yet and she probably wouldn’t tell them “That really makes me wonder why you applied here. They’re a… reckless organization who are getting their people killed. We should talk to their leader.”

“Mum, please”

“And you’ve only been on two missions and you almost died on both of them! Henry, say something! Make her realize it’s better for her to stay on earth”

“I don’t know, Rachel, if that’s what she wants…”

“She can’t want to die!”

“Well uh honey?” her father said “I’m glad you’re okay. And your mother is right. Maybe you want to reconsider joining Starfleet when you’re finished?”

“I didn’t get to the Academy only to leave Starfleet when I’m finished. I knew it would be dangerous, yes. But this is my life and I can make decisions by myself, I’m old enough to know what I want”

“Miss Wiley” the nurse said “please try to calm down. Even if you are alright it is not good if you’re upset”

“Maybe it would be good to consult a therapist because it is the second time you got into such a situation before you were prepared”

“Look, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t think I need one. After all I’ll be in worse situations later on and I can’t always run for help in that case”

“Do you have any idea how high the suicide rate for Starfleet members is?”

“No, do you?” she retorted.

“I’m sure it’s pretty high”

“For all I know, it mostly affects higher officers who have seen more horrors and felt guilty if their actions have killed their crew” the nurse said.

“And our daughter is planning to become Captain!”

“No” she said “I gave that up” somehow this ambition had passed when she saw what an asshole Admiral Marcus was. Besides, she had only wanted to become Captain to prove Spock that she was able to take care of herself and others too.

“Oh thank heaven” her mother breathed.

“Mr and Mrs Wiley, please try not to upset your daughter too much” the nurse said before she left.

“We? Upset her?” Carissa was glad when they had to leave shortly after noon, as the visiting hours wanted it. After her meal, she continued her book until it was time for her to leave the hospital. Her parents helped her and drove her back to the Academy. Khan’s collision had indeed left a deep impact and she was quite surprised that not more cadets had died. But as Nicole had explained, the area directly around the Academy was not affected at all. Her mother insisted to come to the secretary to get some administrative things done. The man behind the counter informed her that cadets who had lost their dorms were accommodated in some of the classrooms for a couple of nights before they found a good solution.

“There are some unused dorms or beds which can be used and I’m sure we could let some cadets live in occupied dorms for a couple of weeks or months until we have new ones. Or maybe if you know someone who lives close to the Academy we can find you another solution. Unless you want to get yourself an own apartment.”

“Sure… do you think it’s possible that some of my belongings aren’t destroyed? Because all I have are the clothes I’m wearing right now and they aren’t even mine” since she had nothing else, she had to put the Starfleet uniform from the Vengeance on again.

“We couldn’t take care of this yet. I suppose you use the afternoon to see if something could be saved and else go and get new clothes and whatever you need” she gave a nod

“And what about my PADD? It was in my room at the time it got destroyed…”

“I’m sorry but we have already given away all spare PADDs we had to other cadets. You’d have to organize one until we have new ones. Though the question arises if you even need one then if you already got one yourself”

“Oh… alright” she nodded “Guess I’ll see what I still have left from my dorm first. Do I need to fill out a form so that you can organize me a new PADD?”

“It’s not actually a form. But you can do that when you know that your PADD is lost or irreversibly broken”

“Sure. One last question: can I come to classes tomorrow even if I don’t have a PADD until then?”

“If you’re willing to write on paper and transfer it to a PADD again of course. I suppose you also need a new uniform then?”

“Great. Then I’ll be coming tomorrow and I need a new uniform, yes. A male one, please, not the female with the skirt.” the man gave a nod and disappeared, coming back a little later

“Here is one. We don’t have your size here at the moment but I have ordered some already. In the meantime you can use this one” she smiled which faded when her mother started asking questions as well. “Mum, I’m fine, I got everything. Come on, let’s see if something could be saved and else go and get me some new stuff” she pulled on her sleeve and then walked away from the Academy, towards to where her dorm had been. There were Starfleet members and cadets working and Carissa asked politely if she could go and have a look if they were able to save anything.

“We are far from finished” the man pointed at a container “but see for yourself if you recognize something of yours” for a moment she stared at the container and found she didn’t even need Spock to calculate that her chances were almost zero to find what had once been hers… the only thing that really bothered her was the fate of her cat and the question if at least the data of her Starfleet and private PADDs could somehow be saved.

“Err you wouldn’t have happened to have found a black cat somewhere?” she described the collar and the pendant as well.

“Not that I’d know…” she bit her lip.

“Thanks anyway” with a sigh she turned to her mother

“What is it? Aren’t you going to search for your stuff?”

“I think that’s almost impossible. Maybe I can have a look when they’ve found everything. Because maybe they haven’t taken out my stuff yet. I guess I need new things anyway…” her mother looked at her but then nodded.

-oO0Oo-

Somehow she felt like when she was younger when she went to shops with her mother to get new clothes. Her mother had offered her to stay with them in their hotel room for the time they were staying in San Francisco. Although her way to the Academy would be quite long, she agreed, after all she could surely use public transport. But when her mother asked if she should organize her a hotel room for herself until she knew where else to go, Carissa declined. She was sure that she could just stay in some else’s dorm for a couple of weeks. Besides, she would soon be leaving for her internship, which meant she’d spend a couple of nights on a ship anyway.

-oO0Oo-

It felt good to be back at the Academy, although she could have given all the questions a miss. Besides, she had been ordered to the Head of the Academy because she needed to give testimony as the only surviving crew member of the USS Vengeance and file a report. Of course she had been taught that once in her time at the Academy but this time it was an official report. A part of her feared she could get into trouble because she was with Admiral Marcus when he did something illegal and hoped she wouldn’t be held responsible for this. It felt strange to know that she was the only surviving crew member of the ship but she found she wasn’t that too sad or affected of the deaths. After all she had not known them except for Admiral Marcus and if she was honest she wasn’t unlucky that he was gone. Because she feared if not, he could try to put her to silence by force. And probably not just her, the whole crew of the Enterprise could have been in danger. In the end, she was quite glad when the day was over. She sat in the library to do some homework when suddenly someone sat down opposite her

“Hey Carissa” she looked up

“Hi Patrick”

“How are you doing? I mean after everything that happened to you?”

“Physically perfect, mentally… I’ll get over it”

“Sure. If there’s anything I can do to help… let me know”

“Thank you”

“Do you like sushi?”

“Huh?”

“Do you like sushi?”

“Uh, yes. Why do you ask?”

“I thought we could go and have some on Friday?” suddenly she remembered what Nicole had told her in the hospital. That Patrick wanted to ask her on a date. She didn’t want to tell him that she knew it was going to be a date and that she was with someone else but she also couldn’t say yes and give him hopes.

“Friday?” she said and grimaced “I guess I’m already doing something with my boyfriend then… sorry. But we can do it sometime else of course.” she lied, happy she had found a subtle way to tell him that she wasn’t interested.

“Oh… well then I guess we could go sometime else? We could have a coffee on Saturday together?”

“Of course” she smiled and he did the same. He left and somehow she felt awful for hinting she only wanted him as a friend. But what was she supposed to do? Not much later, someone else disturbed her

“Hey uh, you’re Carissa Wiley, right?”

“Yes I am. Why?”

“I think someone’s found your cat”

“Really?” she beamed and she quickly packed her stuff and hurried after the younger cadet who led her outside. Her face lit up even more when she saw who held the cat in his arms “Oh my God, where did you find him?” she asked, taking the animal from her boyfriend’s arms. He told her that her pet had just jumped at him about an hour ago when he came here to see her

“I have recognized his collar and obtained the information on his microchip implant which has confirmed my assumption that it is your cat”

“Thank you” she breathed, stroking the fur of his head “I thought I had lost you. But I’m glad that you’ve found and recognized Spock. You’re a good boy, Blacky”

“Blacky? I recall you have named him Nero”

“Yeah, I did… but I had to rename him a year ago, for obvious reasons”

“I see. I suppose you are staying here at the Academy over the night until you have another solution?”

“Actually I’ll spend the night with my parents, in their hotel. But they leave tomorrow so I’ll stay here after that” the Vulcan gave a nod.

“Do you want me to accompany you to your parents? Or would you prefer to stay here a little longer to continue your work?”

“I think I’m done for today. After all I brought the libraries PADD back when I came here. Besides, I can’t take Blacky back inside. But I guess I’ll have to get something for dinner. Did you have dinner yet?”

“I ate something at 12.26”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Have you had dinner? Or would you like to eat something with me on the way to the hotel?”

“I approve of your proposition”

“Alright”

-oO0Oo-

When they arrived at the hotel Carissa kissed Spock’s cheek

“Thanks for bringing Blacky back and accompanying me”

“Of course” she looked down

“Would… would you like to meet my parents? I mean now that they’re here once…”

“Do they know of our relationship?”

“I told my Mum, yes. She was trying to set me up with a neighbor and then it just slipped. And I’m sure she told Dad by now and they will start asking questions anyway. But if you’d rather that I tell them about you first…”

“No, seeing as they have the possibility to meet me now I think it would be wise to take it and give them a chance to forge an opinion that is not based on your narrative”

“Are you afraid I could talk you down?”

“That is not the case, I merely think…” she started laughing

“I was joking” he raised an eyebrow “You know, there are times I don’t know if your eyebrow means amusement or annoyance, like now”

“It is neither”

“Oh right, that are feelings” she chuckled “Oh and about my parents…. they are a bit… special. And they’re not exactly familiar with academic studies, so please don’t try to talk about… I don’t know, particle physics with them. And don’t take anything personal, they don’t mean offense”

“I understand” she nodded and led the way to her parents’ room. Before she entered, she turned to him.

“Give me a second, I’d like to tell them you’re coming first”

“I doubt a second will be sufficient for this. You will need at least 14 seconds to enter the room and inform them about my coming. Then you also need to consider their reaction time which I cannot tell for sure. Furthermore,…”

“Oh Spock, that’s only an expression meaning to give me a moment”

“Which is even more illogical as a moment is only a fraction of a second” she sighed

“Just… just wait here until I come and get you”

“That would be the best option” she took a deep breath and opened the door, closing it right behind her.

“Mum? Dad?” she shouted

“There you are, honey” her mother came to the door “I thought you had your last class hours ago?”

“Well yes, but I wanted to catch up with what I’ve missed, then I was told that Blacky has returned” she looked at her tomcat who seemed to be asleep now. “And my boyfriend has brought me here”

“The one you told me of?”

“What other boyfriend could I mean? Anyway, he’s here, to meet you”

“Where?”

“He’s waiting outside, I wanted to ask if it’s okay for you when he comes in”

“Of course”

“Henry, come here, we’ve got a visitor”

“Who is it, dear?”

“Carissa’s boyfriend”

“She’s got a boyfriend?”

“Of course she does, I just told you yesterday”

“Ah yes, I remember. Where is he?”

“She said he’s waiting outside”

“I’m coming” Carissa was sure that Spock must have heard everything. At least he would be warned what the meeting would be like. Her father appeared in the small hallway as well and smiled at his daughter. She opened the door but couldn’t find Spock. When she stepped outside she found him reading the evacuation plan and stepped closer to him.

“Spock” she said softly “What are you doing?”

“I have just noticed that the German version of this evacuation plan does not feature umlauts” she frowned.

“Err, I believe if a German came here they’d know what to do anyway, okay. And if not, they can just read the English version” when she turned to her parents she could see that they were whispering to each other. A great start. “Come on” she said, placing a hand on his arm. He looked at her and followed her to the door. “Mum, Dad, this is Spock, my boyfriend” her mother frowned

“Are you from Germany, Spock?”

“I believe he’s from a liiiittle further away” her husband whispered, nodding towards the side of his head. Rachel stared at Henry in disbelief then at her daughter.

“Carissa? You do know that is an alien?” she squinted her eyes, then turned to her boyfriend and gasped in shock

“You told me that were prosthetic ears!” she exclaimed. Raising an eyebrow Spock crossed his arms and told them of his origins.

“A Vulcan? I have heard about those. They don’t feel at all”

“Carissa, what are you doing with someone who can’t even feel?” she already regretted taking him with her. Luckily, Spock was quicker and explained that he was able to feel if he wanted to.

“For this reason I can assure you that I care deeply about your daughter”

“He just has his own ways of showing it. But I don’t mind at all” she said, placing a hand on his upper arm. “In fact that’s even better than Finn, who was too pushy”

“Okay I understand you don’t want another pushy boyfriend but I don’t see why you need to drag along a computer on legs”

“Mum, Dad. Please! Be nice”

“But Carissa, isn’t this your superior who called us on Saturday to tell us what has happened about you? Is it even allowed that you’re in a relationship with him?”

“Technically, he’s just someone with a superior rank and not like my boss… and besides, didn’t you and Dad start dating when you were working at his restaurant as a temp?”

“That is something different. The restaurant has still belonged to my mother at that time” Henry defended himself, then sighed and offered the Vulcan his hand

“Henry Wiley” he said. Spock glanced at his hand before raising his hand to a Vulcan greeting. Carissa’s mother tried to replicate the gesture but failed so she only raised her hand with spread fingers

“I’m Rachel”

“Sooo” Carissa said to break the silence “What have you two been up to today?”

“We took a stroll through San Francisco. Terrible what’s happened to the city. Almost half of it is gone”

“Aerial shots have proven that the destruction of the city’s surface reaches a total of 32.24 percent”

“Oh that’s quite a specific surface dimension”

“To be correct, it is a percentage and I always try to be as exact as possible if the circumstances allow it”

“Well I noticed that” her father murmured.

“And what have you seen in the city? Apart from the destruction of course?”

“We have been to the history museum”

“Ah I’ve been there as well. Did you like it?”

“Seeing as there are four different history museums in the city I believe that you cannot know which one they mean”

“Well I have been to all of them, so I know it, whichever museum they went” she replied through gritted teeth with a glare at him. “What did you like best?”

“Your father was pretty impressed with some household tools from the 18th century. I liked the fabrics from around that time”

“It must have been the Historical Society Museum then” Spock concluded.

“Yes, I think that’s what it was called” Henry said looking rather impressed “We were just having a glass of wine, why don’t you two join us?”

“Vulcans do not consume alcoholic beverages”

“Well then we can get you some juice instead? Might be better anyway, who knows what happens when a Vulcan gets drunk?”

“You are mistaken, our metabolic makes it impossible for us to become intoxicated by alcohol” again, Carissa glared at him and was filled with regret. If it continued like this she’d have a long conversation later on about Spock’s impossible behavior.

“Why don’t we make ourselves comfortable?” Carissa asked, glancing at the couch and the armchair.

“Ah, yes you’re right. Go on, have a seat” before Henry sat down, he went to call the room service “Hello? Room 149 here. Our daughter’s boyfriend is here and he’s Vulcan. Do you have anything he likes? ... Yes, yes I guess that should work. Thank you” with a smile he turned to the others who had taken a seat already “I hope you like water” Carissa squeezed her eyes shut. This was gonna be a long evening… Her father also took a seat on the couch and somehow the brunette felt bad for he boyfriend who was alone on the armchair opposite them. So she got up and took a seat on the armrest.

“And how long have you two been together?”

“Err…” she tried to calculate and considered if she should count the time they were separated or not but luckily Spock was quicker.

“We have been together for 9 months and 3 days when I wrongly assumed it would be better for us to go separate ways. After our separation of one year and 8 hours 33 minutes she has agreed to give me a second chance. This was 39 hours and 14 minutes ago” he looked at her and she almost couldn’t believe that it had been a year to the day they were separated.

“Well, at least he won’t forget your anniversary then” her father said.

“Vulcans have a good memory anyway” Carissa quickly said

“And why did you break up?”

“That’s a long story” she said “It was after my first mission and uh… our enemy thought he could abduct me as a hostage. Spock thought he should have forbidden me to come and figured he wasn’t good for me and well” she lied, not wanting to tell them the truth. Her boyfriend raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“Why did you come together again?”

“Because I have come to the realization that her safety cannot be ensured by merely not being with me. Furthermore, I did not want to be without her anymore”

“Because you missed her? But I thought Vulcans can’t feel”

“They can, as he’s already told you…” Carissa sighed “They just don’t show it”

“That is correct to an extent. The day before I asked for a second chance, I have experienced different negative emotions, so that I had to occupy myself with them in order to get them under control. That is how I realized that I have indeed been missing your daughter and that a life without her would make me feel saddened”

“And then you asked her to take you back?”

“Indeed I did” there was a knock at the door and Henry got up to open it, then returned with a jug of water and a glass.

“If you want I can also get you a tea?” Carissa offered, placing a hand on his shoulder “There’s green tea, peppermint, black tea and berry, I guess”

“Honey, I don’t think a black tea is the right thing in the evening”

“If you are referring to fact that black tea contains caffeine, I can assure you that it will not have any effect on me since the Vulcan metabolism does not produce the nucleoside adenosine”

“And what has adenosine to do with caffeine?”

“Oh wait, I think I know” Carissa shouted and cleared her throat “I’ve heard that adenosine is a messenger substance, which similar to a key. And when it binds to an according receptor, which would be something like a lock, the cell won’t be that active anymore. Caffeine is a messenger substance too with a similar structure as adenosine has so it can block the adenosine-receptor but nothing happens and adenosine can’t bind at this receptor anymore. So, your cells will stay more active”

“Trivially explained, yes”

“So it’s correct?”

“Yes. Although I do not see a reason why you used the words key and lock to describe the process”

“Because we humans aren’t super-brains like you so this comparison makes it easier for us to understand and visualize it. Besides, instead of deepening the topic like telling us what kind of protein caffeine is, just answer my question if you want some tea and if yes what type”

“Actually, caffeine is an alkaloid, but yes, I would indeed like some green tea” Carissa nodded, took the water jug and took it to the table in front of the food processor. One of the main reasons she wanted to do it herself was to give her parents a moment alone with her boyfriend to see how it was going without her. Somehow it was going better than she thought because her mother asked what exactly Spock was working for Starfleet whereupon they got a pretty long and detailed explanation before Spock asked her parents what they were working

“I am owner of a little restaurant and am responsible of the cooking”

“And I am occupied as a waiter and it is my job to supply the guests with their food” Carissa rolled her eyes. Why did her parents try to speak more formal? It just was embarrassing. At least the topic seemed to have given them new fodder for conversation and soon Spock was telling them about Vulcan recipes and she had the relieving suspicion they were slowly starting to get along.

-oO0Oo-

After almost two hours, her parents decided that Carissa should go to bed, after all she couldn’t be fully healthy yet and she had to go back to the Academy tomorrow. She wasn’t happy with their paternalism but somehow she was indeed tired. A rather awkward leave-taking occurred during which her parents tried to shake Spock’s hand again. Then her parents seemed to be waiting to see how the couple would see each other off. For this reason, Carissa said she’d accompany her boyfriend back down to the reception

“This will not be necessary since I know the way”

“I wanted to ask you something” she said and he agreed “Bye, see you later”

“But not too long” her mother said

“Of course not” she ushered Spock outside and closed the door, letting out a breath of relief “Phew. That was something” she muttered and then grinned at her boyfriend. They walked to the lift and entered in silence

“I take the view that your parents are not overly fond of me”

“Bullshit. They just need a little time to get used to you. I mean… most people don’t know how to react when they first see a Vulcan”

“Humans indeed tend to distance themselves if they are in an unacquainted situation”

“See? I’m sure the next meeting will be much better. And honestly, I am super afraid of meeting your father for the first time. After all, what if he doesn’t want me in the family because he wants you to marry a Vulcan woman instead?”

“Seeing as he married a human himself he will know that it would be illogical and disproportionate to detain me from doing the same”

“Oh right. But to you think he’d prefer you being with a Vulcan?”

“I am incapable of giving you an unambiguous answer to this question. A relationship with a Vulcan female would be more logical for the sake of our race’s survival and I assume that he expects me to choose logic. But after the destruction of our planet he has expressed his support for whatever path I choose.”

“Okay, I see” they arrived on ground level and got out of the lift.

“What is it that you wanted to ask me?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to say goodbye in private. I know it would make you uncomfortable to do so in front of my parents”

“This is very considerate of you”

“You’re welcome” she chuckled. They walked outside and Carissa pecked his cheek.

“Carissa, would you allow a question?”

“Sure”

“Since your dormitory is destroyed you will need to search another accommodation until the Academy can provide new ones. If it is your wish, you can stay with me until the Academy comes up with a solution”

“You’re offering me to stay at your place?” he confirmed and with a bright smile she nodded. “Yes, that would be fantastic!” she flung herself around his neck “Thank you”

“I believe it would be best if I meet you at the Academy tomorrow after your last class to bring you to my apartment”

“Then I guess I should take everything with me, after all my parents will go home sometime during the day tomorrow”

“Of course”

“Oh” she suddenly remembered her cat “What about Blacky? I can’t take him with me all day”

“Would you like to go back and get him so that I can take him to my apartment?”

“You’d watch him for me?”

“He would be alone during the day but I suppose this will not pose a problem?”

“No. But ah fuck… I don’t even have food for him” she felt bad for not having gotten some too on the previous day but back then she didn’t know he had survived.

“What if I organize something for him?”

“You’d do that?”

“If I was disinclined to do so I would not have proposed it”

“Right” she chuckled “Wait here, I’ll get him” again she pecked his cheek before rushing back to her parent’s hotel room

“He is peculiar, that boyfriend of yours” Rachel said

“Not now, Mum. I’ve gotta find Blacky”

“Blacky?”

“My cat. Spock said he’d watch him tomorrow because I can’t take him to the Academy”

“That’s nice of him” she found her cat on their parent’s bed, licking his paws and she grabbed him at what he gave a revolting meow. Once she was back outside she placed him in her boyfriend’s arms

“There we go” she looked at her pet “I want you to be nice with him and behave”

“I doubt that he is able to understand human language”

“Who knows?” chuckled as she ruffled the fur on his head, feeling awful to give him away now that she had just gotten him back. “See you two tomorrow. And thank you again” she squeezed Spock’s arm before waving goodbye and going back inside. Although her parents tried to talk about her boyfriend more, she excused herself, saying that she wanted to go to bed.

-oO0Oo-

Her friends were quite surprised when Carissa showed up with all her new belongings the following day.

“Don’t you just want to drop them in the classroom we sleep in?” Nicole asked.

“Actually I won’t be staying here”

“Did your parents book you a hotel anyway?”

“Nah, I’m staying at my boyfriend’s”

“Really?”

“Yeah”

“But he-he isn’t a cadet? I mean you won’t be sleeping in a boy’s dorm? With other boys who aren’t your boyfriend?”

“No”

So you’re not dating a cadet?” she smirked

“I shouldn’t have told you that”

“Don’t worry I’ll find out who he is… he’s in Starfleet, right?”

“I won’t say anything” she said and pressed her lips together

“Oh why don’t you just tell me? I promise I won’t tell anyone”

“As I said, I should ask him first”

“Why that? Would it harm either of you if someone knows about you?” she stopped and grabbed her arm “Oh God, Carissa, please don’t tell me you’re actually dating a Professor!”

“No, I’m not” 

“Then there’s no reason to keep it a secret”

“But he is very private in that matter and I respect that”

“Okay, then I’ll just guess. Then you didn’t tell me and he can’t blame you if someone found out” Nicole didn’t even wait for an answer “Alright, you said you got together after we last each other on Friday… and from what I know you’ve gone to see the Admiral, who took you on the mission after you came back to the dorm to deposit your things and see me off… so I don’t think it happened before you went onto the ship. Maybe someone from the Vengeance? No wait, everyone who was aboard the Vengeance died so it must be someone else... you were brought directly to the hospital when you got back to Earth and we saw you in the morning so whoever it was must have visited you in the hospital that means he must have known of it before, so whoever it is probably works on the Enterprise… It makes sense, you almost died, so it’s logical that he admits his feelings as soon as you wake up because he can’t imagine a life without you and all. He was with you outside of the visiting hours, which means he probably must be a doctor right? I know! It’s Leonard McCoy! You were his patient… he saved your life… yeah, that fits. Plus it also explains why he as at the hospital” Carissa chuckled “Or no, I know that face… it isn’t him. Besides’ he seems more like the ‘Hey everyone look here, my girlfriend. Don’t touch her’ type and wouldn’t want to keep it a secret and you don’t even really know him... Soo maybe someone in command because he managed to get there outside the visiting hours… Bridge Crew?” Carissa said nothing “Ah I take that blush as a yes. Let me see… the Captain was unconscious too for all I know so it can’t be Kirk… oh I know! It’s Pavel Chekov. Yes it must be him! You know him from the Academy so you had time to get to get to know each other… Oh God, Carissa that’s so sweet. His accent is cute. You two are made for each other!”


	7. Assumptions

Much to her annoyance, Nicole kept assuring her that Pavel was the right man for her and she was sure that probably half of the Academy now thought she was with Pavel. But somehow Carissa was glad that no one knew the truth.

When the day was finally over, Carissa was halfway in the library when she realized that her boyfriend must be waiting for her. So she turned around to meet him outside as they had agreed. To her surprise, Spock was nowhere to be seen. Someone knocked into her from behind and she almost fell over

“Oh sorry” she had to bite back a groan when she heard Oliver Moore’s voice. “Didn’t see you there”

“No problem, nothing happened”

“That’s good. Just imagine your Russian boyfriend would have needed to come and punish me… Suddenly Bennett isn’t good enough anymore, huh?”

“Leave me alone”

“Or are you fucking two at the same time? Naughty. What would poor old Professor Bennett say if he knew you’re replacing him with a younger one?” she snorted and looked away “Hey” he shoved her “I asked you something”

“Just go away”

“What if not? Will I get into trouble with one of your boyfriends, huh?” he tore her bag away and threw it on the ground

“Just because you don’t have anyone doesn’t mean you need to need to make fun of me. I bet you’re just jealous.” he glared at her

“Take that back, you whore”

“Only if you say you’re sorry”

“I’ll make sure that you will be sorry” he quickly grabbed her and without thinking, Carissa kicked him between the legs

“Let go of me!”

“Only when you apologize!” he turned her around that her back faced him and painfully twisted her arm upwards

“Stop, you’re hurting me”

“Hey uh, what you’re doing?” another cadet asked “Cut the crap”

“Piss off or you’re next” Oliver snarled and the other male did exactly that. “And you apologize and I might be gentle with you”

“What is going on here?” they were approached by a professor and to Carissa’s dismay it was Moore’s uncle.

“She attacked me and I had to defend myself, uncle” Oliver lied.

“Is that so, Wiley?”

“I uh… did not attack him. I might have said something that offended him and then he… ahhh” she cried out when Oliver twisted her arm even more.

“That’s enough, Oliver, you’re breaking her arm. You don’t want to get into trouble because of her” luckily her classmate listened and let go of her. Instantly she rubbed her arm and felt tears in her eyes. “As for you, Wiley, you’ll come with me”

“Sir, I-I did not do anything wrong. I was just standing here when he accidentally bumped into me and started taunting and insulting me about my boyfriend. I told him that just because he has no one, there is no reason to make fun of me. And then he lost it”

“You kicked me between the legs”

“As I see it, this was only a method to defend herself” Carissa felt a smile on her face when she recognized the voice. The other males turned around to the Vulcan behind them

“What would you know about this incident?” the older Professor spat

“I was- as you humans would say- lucky enough, to observe the last part of Cadet Moore and Wiley’s controversy from afar. Which is why I have seen with my own eyes that the first act of violence emanated from Cadet Moore whereupon Cadet Wiley unsuccessfully tried to break free from him”

“Well maybe, Spock, you should let me handle this since you’re not a professor anymore. So get lost and don’t intrude in other people’s business”

“I take it you know of a Vulcan’s aversion to violence so I could not walk by as if nothing had happened. Now that I am involved in this matter I refuse to leave until it is cleared up” he crossed his arms Carissa’s mouth twisted into a smile.

“Is that really necessary?”

“I believe I have made my position clear to you or would you like me to repeat my previous words?”

“I would like you to let me handle that matter alone!”

“Then allow me to assist you and officiate as a witness and neutral judge”

“Don’t you have anywhere else to go?” by now, a group of students was already watching their discussion with great interest. “I’m sure a man who’s as smart as you has a lot of things to do”

“That is correct and right now it is my task to elucidate the incidents of earlier. I am sure that you can profit from my intellect” Carissa bit her lip to not burst out with laughter.

“Are you calling me incompetent?”

“That would be a rushed and probably untrue conclusion. I merely referred to the obvious fact that your brain is second to mine” also Professor Moore now crossed his arms and glared at the taller Vulcan.

“Why don’t you just go back to where you came from? Oh wait, you can’t. Your planet was destroyed. Whoever it was, I’d like to thank them, they have freed the galaxy from a great plague” this was going to end badly, Carissa knew that. “I’m sure you only landed here because the Vulcans didn’t want you. But know what? No one wants you here either…”

“Professor Moore, let us not forget the reason we are here is the controversy between Cadet Moore and Wiley”

“What? Are you not willing to talk about your planet? Or the fact you don’t belong anywhere? Does it make you feel sad? Or does it not even bother you? After all Vulcans don’t feel, am I right?”

“The motive of your resentment towards me is unknown to me”

“Oh come on, Spock, strain your Vulcan brain a little”

“If this is a reference to the fact that I have taken your position as professor for the first and second year cadets, I can assure you that it was never my intention to… how do you say? Hurt your pride. Besides, if this is the case I do believe that we should rather discuss this in private”

“Why? Are you afraid you could lose a debate in front of everyone?”

“Since afraid is referring to an emotion I can assure you that this is not the case” Carissa didn’t like this at all but she had no idea what she was supposed to do and hoped another Professor would interfere.

“At least that explains why you’ve never made yourself any friends…”

“Contrary to your belief I have friends. I am just careful enough to choose them wisely”

“Come on, Spock, we both know that’s not true. You don’t have any friends. You will always be alone, no one wants you”

“Vulcans do not lie. Besides, we had better discuss this in private because I am most certain that our dispute is upsetting the cadets”

“What do you know of feelings?”

“Professor Moore, I do not know when our conversation got out of control but I would like to come back to the actual matter”

“Oh I can tell you when it got out of control. The moment you decided to show up and felt the need to assume an air of superiority” he poked his finger into Spock’s chest who only cocked up an eyebrow.

“Uhh” Carissa said “I really don’t mean to take sides… but the reason we are here is because of Oliver and me”

“Fine, you’re free to leave”

“But uncle, she attacked me”

“This is at odds with the truth, Cadet Moore”

“Are you calling my nephew a liar?”

“I am simply pointing out the fact that his statement is not consistent with my observation” which was, as Carissa knew, a very formal way of saying ‘yes’ for Spock anyway.

“Well Spock, I officially give a damn about your observation, your opinion or your help. Cadet Wiley, Oliver, we’re going to my office”

“If I recall correctly, Professor Moore, you have allowed Cadet Wiley to leave”

“I changed my mind because you distracted me from what I was doing”

“I will allow myself to speak my mind”

“Oh do that Spock, it’s not like you ever hold yourself back…”

“I cannot help but note that you are willing to believe whatever your nephew is telling you”

“Are you implying that I am playing favorites? This is impudent” to everyone’s surprise he hit the Vulcan square in the face.

“Go get him” Oliver hissed. Everyone was looking at Spock, waiting for his reaction.

“I do not imply things, I only word my observations and thoughts”

“What is going on here?” Carissa turned around to see Professor Bennett coming towards them “What are you doing, Professor Moore, Commander Spock?”

“We were simply having a discussion between two old colleagues. Didn’t we, Spock?” he nudged his side with his elbow.

“Unfortunately, I beg to differ”

“Is that so?” Bennett turned at Carissa “Cadet Wiley, could you please tell me what is going on here, seeing as they are not capable of doing so?”

“Oh err…” she found herself telling what had happened since Oliver had bumped into her, feeling embarrassed with everyone looking at her

“Fine. I suggest we forget everything that has happened. Cadet Wiley, Cadet Moore, you both apologize to each other and consider it done” then he glanced at the two officers “And the same applies for you two. You should know better than to being a squabble in public. You’re supposed to be a role model…”

“Oliver, I am sorry about my comment”

“And I’m sorry too…” he looked down and leant closer “that you’re a whore. You’ll pay Wiley” then he walked away, directly followed by his uncle after he threw a last glance at Spock. Bennett ushered the other cadets away before he left too. Carissa slowly rubbed her arm and looked down

“Are you hurt, Carissa?”

“No I’m fine, Spock, thanks” she whispered, not wanting to look at him.

“I apologize for my behavior, I did not want to attract attention”

“I said I’m fine” she repeated and picked up her bag.

“Carissa, I cannot bring you to my apartment now because there is something I need to do first”

“Oh okay. I guess I’ll wait in the library” to be honest, she was glad to hear that because she didn’t want the other cadets to see how she left the campus with Spock. At least not right now.

“Then I will come and meet you there when I am finished” she nodded

“See you later” she went back inside and walked to the library, sitting down next to Nicole

“Hey, I thought you’d be leaving with your boyfriend” she said, nudging her side

“He’s got stuff to do right now. I’ll wait here”

“Does that mean Pavel’s coming here?” she only sighed and realized that now Nicole would learn the truth if she wanted or not.

“Nicole, Pavel is not my boyfriend”

“What? Why? I mean why didn’t you tell me? Who is it then? I really don’t know anyone else from the Enterprise really who come into question. Lieutenant Sulu maybe?” Carissa said nothing again “Alright, you leave me no choice” she typed something into her PADD “Let’s see who else is serving on the bridge of the Enterprise… Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, Lieutenant Chapin, Lieutenant 0718 what the hell? Is that an android? Good that were all males. Okay, let’s break this down and see who we can exclude. We already said that it can’t be Kirk and I suppose you’re not dating someone called 0718 and we all know that you can’t honestly have a relationship with a Vulcan unless you’re one too. So that leaves Chapin and Sulu. Hmm… I’ve got absolutely no idea who this Chapin is, so I suppose you don’t know him either. As for Sulu, I think he’s more you’re type. Oh come on, Carissa, show me at least some reaction…”

“Nicole, please stop” Carissa sighed

“Then tell me who it is”

“You’ll see him when he comes here, isn’t that enough?”

“No, I can’t focus now”

“Well once you know you’ll be asking questions anyway…”

“Fine alright… just tell me, is he among the ones I already listed or not?”

“Yes, you mentioned him”

“So it is Sulu?” a cadet opposite them cleared her throat

“I heard he’s gay”

“What? Sulu?”

“Alright it is Chapin then… probably”

“But who is this Chapin?” the other cadet asked. Great, now even strangers were interested in her love life.

“I don’t know. Carissa, you tell me?”

“What do I know?”

“Ahh you’re trying to talk yourself out of it…”

“Nicole, you’ve already spent the whole day claiming I was with Pavel and it turned out it wasn’t the case.”

“Wait, was that a hint that it isn’t Chapin?”

“Yes it was” the other cadet said, got up and took a seat on Nicole’s other side “Show me the list… it has to be someone else then. Are you even sure it’s a man?”

“Yes. She said it’s a boyfriend. I still believe it’s Kirk somehow, given your history. Wait a second, didn’t you say he was on the Vengeance with you? Maybe he’s asked you then? Oh yes, that would be typically Kirk to ask you in the middle of a fight”

“Yes but I don’t know what you mean with keeping quiet about her but I imagine that Kirk would not do that”

“Damn, you’re right… hey, what’s your name?”

“Alisha”

“What year are you in?”

“Second”

“Oh okay. I’m Nicole and that’s Carissa. We’re third years”

“Nice to meet you” Carissa only murmured in agreement.

“But hey, what about the Commander?”

“He’s Vulcan, remember?”

“Oh right, I forgot”

“Guys I’d really love to do some homework right now. You’ll see him anyway and I know that I’ll be getting thousands of questions tomorrow…”

“Okay. I’ll drop this now. But tomorrow, you are in for a looooong questioning. And I still think it’s Pavel…” Carissa chuckled and focused on her work again, yet she couldn’t concentrate as she wanted because she was curious how her friend would react upon seeing her boyfriend. After all she had excluded him from the list almost immediately Two hours passed and suddenly she got a feeling that Spock had forgotten about her. Meanwhile also Nicole was starting to think that “You know, if I wasn’t so curious who it is I would’ve long gone to get dinner”

“Actually I’m hungry too…”

“But if we both leave he won’t know where you are. I mean you must have told him to meet you here?”

“Yeah”

“And what if you tell me who it is and when he comes here, I can tell him you’re in the canteen? Or maybe you’re back by the time he arrives…” Alisha said. Somehow Carissa wasn’t too happy to tell someone she didn’t really know but since she had no idea how long it would take her boyfriend to get here she decided it was better to eat something now. So she gave a nod and leaned towards Alisha to whisper the name in her ear. Her eyes widened “What? No way! How’s that even possible? I want to be there when you answer the questions!”

“What? Who is it?” Nicole insisted “Tell me”

“Although I’d like to see your face… it is only Carissa’s decision”

“Oh Cassie please”

“I told you you’d see him…” she grinned as she got ready to leave.

“Okay I’ll just guess again. Alisha seemed surprise, so it’s probably someone we don’t expect… so definitely not Pavel” she packed her things as well. “Shit, it has to be Kirk… somehow… maybe he just wants to protect you by not telling everyone that you’re with him… Or it’s Sulu. Maybe he’s just bisexual” on the way to the canteen Nicole kept rambling about the whole matter but luckily she became silent once they reached the canteen and stood in the queue to get their dinner. “Let’s go here” Nicole said, walking past her and sat at a table near the entrance so that she could face it. The brunette shrugged and took a seat opposite her. She had the impression that Nicole wasn’t actually focused on the food and only stared at the entrance. Every time someone entered, there was a curious mien on her face and Carissa’s head shot around. It mostly were cadets, sometimes teachers. After a while she didn’t even turn around anymore. Suddenly Nicole’s jaw dropped and she raised her eyebrows, then she shook her head “Ah never mind”

“What?” Carissa asked, turning around again.

“Our dear old friend Professor Pointy-ear just entered. But whatever he’s doing at the Academy, he must have gotten hungry” now she could indeed spot her boyfriend talking to one of the cooks who didn’t seem very pleased. Once he had his plate, he walked straight past them to sit at the next table. Carissa frowned. Of course, he probably didn’t want to sit with her in public but it still hurt that he acted as if he had not even seen her. She glanced past her friend and stared at Spock who at least nodded at her now. At this she couldn’t help but smile as she looked back to her plate. With a frown, Nicole turned around and shrugged “What’s up with you? One second you look like you’re about to shoot laser from your eyes, the next moment you’re as happy as a lark” she only shrugged and cleared her throat “You know…” Nicole suddenly said “I am starting to believe he forgot about you”

“No he hasn’t”

“What makes you so sure about that?”

“I just know him” she said

“Yes you’re right. He’d first need to go to the library, find Alisha, get told that we’re here. And only then he can come here”

“Yeah” she chuckled.

“Did he tell you what he had to do?”

“No”

“That’s bad because otherwise you could have go looking for him”

“He will find me” Carissa said. Nicole gave a shrug

“So… what is he like?”

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Your boyfriend of course”

“Nicole, I promised to tell you tomorrow”

“Yeah but you don’t have to tell me who it is now. Just tell me what he is like”

“I’d rather not discuss that now”

“Why not?”

“Be-because” she glanced to Spock again who was working something on a PADD. Her friend followed her gaze

“Oh, right Vulcan’s hearing. But hey, I doubt he cares anyway. What does he know of love? They surely only do arranged marriages, I mean that’s most logical.”

“Nicole, please… not now” she buried her head in her hands.

“Cadet Summer, I would like to inform you that your statement about arranged marriages among Vulcans might be true for most of us but there are certain individuals who are in a relationship which is indeed based on the feeling of love”

“A-are you talking to me?” Nicole stuttered turning back to Spock who had looked at from his PADD

“Indeed I am, seeing as there is no other Cadet Summer who made a statement about Vulcan relationships”

“Look, Professor… Commander, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you” she turned back to Carissa “Damn, you were right that wasn’t a good idea…”

“In contrary, I did not interpret your statement as an insult. However, I would like to express my apologies for interrupting your conversation but I was sensing your friend’s discomfort at your words”

“Well uh, thanks then” Nicole said “Come on, let’s go it’s getting far too awkward here” she hissed

“It was not my intention to cause you incommodity through my intervention, so please allow me to clarify the matter”

“Clarify? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Nicole muttered as Spock got up and took a seat next to Carissa.

“After it has occurred to me that you were urging Carissa to tell you about her relationship I found that I could not sit and watch from afar since it was causing her discomfort that traces back to my omission to let her know I am sympathetic to not keeping our relationship secret anymore” Carissa looked at him in surprise. He really was okay with her friends knowing?

“And simply said this means?” Nicole said with a frown then her face lit up “Wait! You-you’re not… oh fuck. How? How did that happen?” the brunette chuckled

“It’s a long story and you said we can discuss this tomorrow”

“Yeah I guess I need some time to… digest that. I must admit, I would have expected everything… but not that. Well, something tells me it was kinda obvious but still…”

“Your friend seems to be quite confused”

“She is. She’s spent the whole day thinking I was dating Pavel Chekov and even viewed a list of the Enterprise’s crewmembers who work on the bridge to find out who else it could be”

“Then I apologize for not having told you more clearly that you may let your friends know. I thought you would come to this conclusion when I offered to meet you at the Academy today where cadets would inevitably see us together”

“Well uh, I kind of thought that but I wasn’t sure if you’re really okay with it. I wanted to ask you first”

“But seeing as our relationship does not need to be kept secret anymore I figured that you would realize I had nothing against you letting your friends know”

“Well that’s sorted out now. Thanks for stepping in, I wouldn’t have known how to break it to Nicole”

“Are you referring to the fact that you were puzzled as which words you should use or the fact that you could not foresee her reaction?”

“Both, I guess” she giggled.

“Okay” Nicole said “My brain’s tired, I’ve got zero idea what you have been talking about but uh… if you want me to leave I can go”

“Please, feel free to remain with us”

“Alright. And I know I promised no questions today… but from what I just saw you two are really close. I mean you only got together a couple of days ago and somehow that’s disturbing me. He’s Vulcan after all and well… I don’t think they’re um… yeah. And I’m probably not making much sense right now”

“Your argumentation is indeed missing important parts but the overall question can be filtered out”

“Yeah at least if you’re question is why we act like we’ve known each other for a long time?”

“Yes, you don’t seem like a couple that just got together, and he is Vulcan after all, I don’t think they are like that in the beginning” Carissa looked at Spock

“Do you mind if I tell her the truth? I mean everything about us?”

“It would be illogical to not do so and lie especially since Nicole is starting to making conclusions herself already”

“But do you want her to know?”

“I know that it is your wish to tell your friend everything and therefore I could not ask a lie of you. Besides, I will have to tell my friends about us as well, thus I have to accept the fact that the truth cannot be kept secret”

“Okay” Carissa nodded

“Wait, you’re able to understand that? Was that a yes or a no?”

“Technically it was neither” Carissa said “He tried to say that it has to be but as I understand it, he actually is okay with it” she glanced at her boyfriend who confirmed.

“Isn’t that… I don’t know, annoying to interpret all those messages all the time?”

“You get used to it. Plus, I’ve figured out a system. It’s usually the last sentence that counts because that’s the conclusion of what he said”

“Ah that makes sense”

“Anyway, to answer your question… but you need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone else, okay?”

“Sure”

“Alright, the thing is, we did not actually come together on Sunday… at least not for the first time. We have been together before and we separated”

“Wait, so one year ago… after the mission at Vulcan… the boyfriend that broke up with you…. was him?”

“Yes” Nicole glared at the Vulcan

“Consider yourself lucky she didn’t tell me the truth back then. Because I would have beaten you senseless, professor or not. Do you have any idea what it did to her? You left her when she needed you the most”

“It is good to see that you are such a loyal and supportive friend and I believe I am much obliged to you for taking care of her when I have made a mistake”

“That was sort of an apology and a thank you”

“Apology accepted and you’re welcome. God Carissa, I just hope I’ll never be alone with him. I mean I need you as translator” Carissa chuckled

“Sure. Maybe we can spend some time together this week? I mean after I’ve told you everything” she looked at Nicole who gave a fierce nod “Unless you don’t want that”

“I believe it would be advantageous to hold such a meeting because something is telling me that your friend is determined to assure herself of your happiness with me”

“Great. Shall we find a date right now?”

“Why not?”

-oO0Oo-

Somehow Carissa was quite glad when she they had finished eating and she left the Academy with Spock

“I’m sorry I didn’t wait in the library. But we were hungry and I didn’t know when you’d come”

“There is no need to apologize, after all you had let Cadet Baker know about your whereabouts so that I was able to find you”

“You’re right. Is your apartment far?”

“No, it is a walk of 8 minutes and 48 seconds”

“That’s really not much” they walked the greater part of the way in silence. Once they arrived, Blacky came to greet her and Spock told her that she could have his room. “And what about you, where will you sleep? You don’t have a couch or something like that”

“I think I will be able to find an occupation during the night”

“You’re planning on staying awake? No, you’re not doing that because of me. You know what, I’m going back to the Academy to get myself a sleeping bag and then I just sleep on the floor”

“I am in favor of your first idea but I will not allow you to spend the night on the floor”

“Fine then I’ll get you a sleeping bag for the floor”

“Carissa, I believe I am capable of organizing a sleeping bag myself”

“But not today”

“Then I will spend this first night awake. This will not be any problem for me, I promise you that”

“Fine, if you insist… would you mind if I use your shower and get changed?”

“Not at all” after her shower, she put on her new pajama and joined Spock in his kitchen. “The thought that you must have lost your PADD when the USS Vengeance collided with your dorm tower has just occurred to me”

“Oh yeah. But I’ll get a new one from the Academy in a couple of days. Besides, maybe the data can be saved somehow or something from my private PADD.”

“How do you get by until then? I am sure that Starfleet Command expects your report in the course of the week and you will need a PADD to file it”

“I’m sure I’ll find a solution”

“I believe I have found one”

“Which one?”

“I can lend you the PADD I have used during my times of teaching at the Academy”

“But don’t you need that?”

“No, I have received a new one when I resigned to become First Officer onboard the Enterprise”

“Oh, okay. That would be nice”

“If you give me your password I will be able to retrieve your data for you as well”

“Really? I’ll have everything?”

“Maybe not everything. Only what is saved on the Campus server”

“That will be almost everything then. Can you also retrieve my conversations, messages and all?”

“I will try to save as much as I can”

“Thanks, you’re the best!” she kissed his cheek and sat down on the second chair. Blacky jumped into her lap and she started stroking his fur. “And thanks for having me here and looking after Blacky yesterday. It really means a lot to me”

“I must admit, it is indeed pleasant to have you at my apartment, even if it only is temporary and I would like you to… make yourself at home, as you would say” she chuckled

“Believe me, you don’t want to have me behaving like I behave at home” he raised an eyebrow “And speaking of making myself at home… I uh… don’t want to keep you from your evening routine and all. I mean, you don’t need to spend all the time with me if you don’t want to”

“I usually only am here in order to eat, finish work, mediate or sleep”

“Oh well… that explains the furnishing and decoration. Or rather lack thereof. No offense”

“None taken. Is there any routine that you have in the evening?”

“Not really. I mean, I ate at the Academy, went to my dorm and got ready for bed. Sometimes I did some homework, something for myself or talked to Nicole or we played a game before we went to bed”

“If you are interested, I own both a Two- and Three-dimensional chess board”

“Oh hell I suck at 3D chess, you know that. But we can play the other one. With advantages for me of course” since Spock was much better at chess than her, they always agreed that she was allowed a certain advantage like two moves instead of one or that Spock had less pieces. Yet, she had never won, and it was quite frustrating to know that she couldn’t win even if she had advantages. He got up and retrieved everything, setting it down on the table

“Which convenience do you wish today?”

“Uh… can I get your pawns?”

“This would only hinder you from getting your other figures into the middle of the board. May I suggest that your pawns can be reused once when I captured them instead?”

“Alright but you still don’t get your pawns” they put the figures on the board and started playing. By now she already knew his strategy a little and sometimes she could tell when he set up a trap. Not even ten minutes later her king was already in check “Damn” she muttered and after she quickly moved him out of the way

“If I were you I would reconsider that move” Spock only said. She frowned and put the king back, staring at the figures as if they’d tell her the solution. In the end she couldn’t see anything she could do (except for sacrificing her Queen by capturing the knight that held the king in check) so she just moved her king to another square where he was safe. For the next two moves, Carissa had the feeling to have escaped a Check Mate, but four moves later it happened

“What did I do wrong?”

“You should have sacrificed your Queen to rid yourself of my knight, seeing as this was the only way to save your king in the long term”

“But-but… I can’t plan ahead that much… besides, I think the whole purpose of the game is ridiculous… you have to deliberately sacrifice your other figures just to save the king. That’s not fair, it’s not what you’d do in real life. Besides, the king just is a real pussy and doesn’t even deserve to be that important” she crossed her arms and let out a huff. “I’ll organize another game, one where you need luck as well to win, then at least I don’t feel so stupid when I lose because I know it wasn’t just because I’m a bad player”

“You are not a bad player, Carissa. Of course, you could optimize your strategy but you have much improved your performance since our very first game”

“So I’m not a complete failure?”

“Absolutely not. I am certain that you could beat the Captain if you exerted yourself”

“That’s nice to know. Seems like I need to play chess with another human again because you’re right, we’re no match to you or a computer… but I’m gonna get a game of luck anyway and we’ll play that too” he cocked up an eyebrow “Yes I know you don’t believe in luck but you’ll see that you need luck to win a dice game or whatever”

“And do you think it would make you feel better even if you know that you won merely by luck?”

“Yes it would” she muttered and let out a yawn

“Would you like to go to bed?”

“Maybe” she mumbled and got up “Oh err. I guess I should warn you that I’ll probably get nightmares. And since this is a unfamiliar place it can be that I totally freak out even when I wake up” she looked down in embarrassment “It might be silly, but I used to have a bunny plushie, which I had since my childhood and whenever something like that happened, I could just cuddle him and it calmed me down. But-but it was in my dorm and now it’s gone”

“Would you describe my odor as soothing and familiar?”

“I-I guess so. Why?” he got up and pulled off his shirt, handing it to her

“Then I am certain that this will help you” she glanced at him before sniffing his clothes and she felt a smile on her face.

“I’m sure it will. Thank you” she placed a kiss on his cheek “Guess I’ll go then” she mumbled

“Carissa, wait”

“Huh?”

“If you wish me to retrieve your data on my old PADD for you I require your password”

“Oh sure. I’ll write it down” she got a piece of paper from her school supplies and wrote it down “Thank you and good night. Or do you need anything from your room?”

“No, I have everything that I need. Good night, Carissa” she went to the bedroom and closed the door after she made sure that Blacky was inside as well.

-oO0Oo-

Of course she had been right about the nightmares and she awoke with a jolt. Instantly, she her hand was feeling for her plushie and she gasped when she didn’t find it. When she remembered what had happened to it she felt tears in her eyes. Trying to distract herself, she threw a glance at the time on her alarm clock. 2.55 AM. Although it was dark she was sure to have seen a silhouette moving in the corner of the room. A second she considered calling her parents, when she remembered that they weren’t here. She took a deep breath.

“I’m fine. I’m safe” she told herself and buried her head back in the pillow her fingers digging into the blanket after pulling it up halfway over her face. Suddenly she remembered Spock’s shirt which she pressed against her chest and curled herself up around it, holding onto it like it was her life ring. Tears were in her eyes and before she knew it, she was silently sobbing because of her dream. There was a strange sound that alerted her and she only wished to be back home or at least in her dorm. When she heard a knock at the door she shot up, frantically looking if there was a place to hide. On the other hand, would someone who wanted her evil knock? When she heard Spock calling her name she breathed out in relief and sobbed his in return. The door opened, her boyfriend entered and took a seat on the bed. Instantly she scrambled up and wrapped her arms around him, nestling against him as close as she could

“Am I right to assume that a nightmare has unsettled you?”

“Yes”

“Do you think it would help if you told me about it?”

“I can do that” she sniffed “I don’t remember everything… but I was at the Academy with Nicole and I guess it was Alisha… they left and I wanted to do something else. That’s when I saw A-admiral Marcus. And he was shaking hands with someone. I-I think it was Nero. They talked and somehow I couldn’t hear them but I knew that they wanted to destroy the Enterprise. So I tried to leave and warn you, but they saw me and dragged me onto a ship’s bridge. I guess it was the Vengeance. Nero set up a transmission and I saw the Enterprise. Marcus told me that he only wanted to know who my boyfriend was and they’d let the Enterprise go. But I couldn’t tell them and one of them said that there is nothing I could do to save you – I mean the Enterprise – and the Vengeance started firing on you and we all were driven towards a black hole. Nicole and Blacky were on that other ship as well. I-I tried to tell Nero and Marcus to stop it and told them what they wanted to know but they said it was too late now and-and I could do nothing except watch how you all died. Then I was back at the Academy and everyone kept asking where Nicole is, so I tried to lie and say she went home be-because I had the hope you would all return somehow. Then we were told that Admiral Marcus was dead and I was blamed for it because the Vengeance crashed and I was on the ship at the time. So I had to go to a trial which was led by Khan and he threatened to kill me if I lied. And I guess then I woke up” he said nothing for a while

“I do not have much experience with nightmares but I believe it could help if you list everything that was illogical or could not happen in any case” she sniffed and did as he said

“I guess it’s better” she said after she was done “But Spock. Can-can you stay here for a while and distract me? Tell me anything that has nothing to do with this”

“The illustration of the giraffes on your nightclothes is inaccurate”

“Why that?”

“Their tongue should be blue rather than pink and the tip is not round but pointy” she felt his forefinger stroking over one of the giraffes on her pajama trousers

“I’ve heard about the blue tongue before” she said “But I think pink fits the color of the cloth and the giraffes better. Besides it’s cute. Just look at their eyes. Or the ones that are cuddling” she looked down and pointed at two giraffes who’s necks where touching.

“As a matter of fact they are engaged in a combat that is supposed to establish dominance”

“What?”

“This is a ritual known under the name ‘low intensify necking’ in which the males rub their necks against each other and the one that has a more secure stand wins”

“Oh” she let out a small giggle “Do you think we should tell the manufacturers about this?”

“I can imagine they would not be pleased to hear of this”

“Hmm. Well we can take care of the tongue ourselves… we can just color them with a blue pen. And then I’ll take a red pen and draw a heart above the fighting ones so that it looks like they’re in love anyway” she mumbled as she leaned her head back against his chest and placed a hand over his heart.

“If the accuracy of the illustrations is that important to you I will see to it that you receive the writing supplies you asked for”

“No, it’s fine. I was joking. But you better not try and make the changes while I’m asleep” she chuckled “Because if you do, I’m gonna draw on your face while you’re asleep” a yawn left her mouth “Did I ever tell you how glad I am to have you?”

“You have made hints in that direction before” his hand started stroking her head and she instantly felt calming down.

“If you do what with Blacky he starts purring”

“I have made that discovery yesterday evening”

“A pity I missed that”


	8. Adjusting

With a groan she tried to turn around when she heard her alarm clock going off. But she couldn’t move and a second later she found out why; Spock was still holding her in his arms.

“Ha-have you been here all night long?”

“No, I have not been here the whole night. Only since I have come to comfort you after your nightmare because I realized that my presence calms you”

“Oh… Thank you” she whispered and pulled away from him to stretch herself. A part of her just wanted to snuggle up to him again and stay like this all day. Instead she turned off the alarm and crawled out of the bed, heading towards the kitchen with a yawn. She inspected his cupboards to see what kind of food he had. “Spock?” she called “What would you like for breakfast?” he didn’t answer and came to the kitchen instead

“I can take care of my own breakfast”

“I know you can but I know that it is Vulcan custom that the guest prepares the meals, especially breakfast”

“Carissa, you do not have to feel obliged to do so”

“But I want to” he raised an eyebrow

“I doubt you are familiar with the recipe”

“Well I might have used my free time during lunch yesterday to read more about the Vulcan meals that you mentioned the day before at my parents’ because I wanted to cook for or with you during my stay here” for a moment, he was silent then he moved closer and kissed her. She instantly pulled him closer and kissed back, cherishing the feeling since he rarely kissed her like that.

“You never cease to fascinate me” he said softly when they parted.

“That coming from a Vulcan must be one hell of a compliment I guess?”

“It is” he confirmed and leaned his forehead against hers before he let go of her “But allow me to assist you with the preparation of breakfast”

“If you insist”

-oO0Oo-

Spock had finished eating before she did and left the table only to return with a PADD

“As I have promised, I did my best to retrieve your data. However, you will need to verify if everything you need was transferred to this PADD. I would have done it myself but it would have been an invasion of your privacy. Furthermore, I would not have been able to determine if everything is available in any case since I did not know what you had on your previous device”

“That’s fine. Thank you, you’re a gem” she gently squeezed his hand “I promise that I won’t look at your stuff either” she switched it on and entered her password “Huh? My password doesn’t work”

“This is because the password is device-specific”

“Oh right. So what’s the password then?”

“GlQrTbw%xiPeO36Dh7”

“Wait what?” he repeated it “No, Spock change that, there’s no way I can ever remember that”

“But it is a safe password, seeing as it would take a computer 4 quadrillion 528 trillion 200 billion years to ascertain it”

“Uhh Spock…. I don’t think that’s necessary. I mean I doubt the PADD will still be working then… Besides, it’s only school PADD, no one would make such an effort to hack it. And if they manage… well they deserve my essays. Besides, if you leave this password I’ll need to write it down and then they won’t need those four quadrillion years to crack it… Can’t I just use my old password?”

“I recommend you used random letters instead of words”

“Fine… let me think…I guess I’ll just take the first letter of a word from a sentence…” she couldn’t remember random letters, so she’d need an easy way to remember it and suddenly she had an idea. She could just add numbers and a special character “OrtrtaOrtftOrtbtaaitdbt” she said with a grin. “Oh and I guess I could add a percentage sign somewhere and maybe numbers” a frown appeared on his forehead and he was silent for almost a minute, then he raised an eyebrow

“How did you come to know of the inscription of the One Ring in John Ronald Reuel Tolkien’s work ‘Lord of the Rings’?”

“What the fuck? How did you figure that out?”

“I have noticed a pattern in your ‘password’ and an analysis revealed that it must be this fictional inscription”

“Wow” she said, utterly impressed “If I ever need to hack a PADD or computer I won’t use a computer. I’ll use you… but I think you’re trying to tell me I should take something else?”

“As I said, your suggestion contains repetitive patterns which you should avoid” she grunted

“Fine, let me think”

-oO0Oo-

Happy with her new password (she doubted her boyfriend liked it because he said it could be cracked in 4.28 years but she promised that she’d get her new PADD in a couple of days anyway) she got ready for Academy and then left the apartment. Nicole was already awaiting her

“Girl, you’re in for a though questioning tonight. I’ve had plenty of time to think of thousands of questions”

“Something tells me that’s a bit exaggerated”

“But one now already: How was your first night at his place? You-you didn’t?”

“Hell no. We’re nowhere that far”

“What’s the furthest you went?”

“Let me put it like this. His hand purposely only went below my waist about two or three times”

“This week or all the time you were together?”

“All the time”

“What about kissing? I mean… you’ve done that, right? And I’ve heard about this thing with the finger kiss”

“Yes we have kissed and the thing with the fingers technically isn’t a kiss. More like handholding for married couples. However, it can be a sort of making out if you move your fingers against each other”

“So did you guys… make out the Vulcan way? How’s that even working?” she raised fore- and middle finger and looked at her

“I’m not showing you and I won’t answer the question”

“Why not?”

“Because it means a lot to Vulcans and I respect that. You wouldn’t show an alien friend how humans make out because they don’t know. If you have a human boyfriend”

“Okay, I get it… but since touching means a lot to them, doesn’t he get jealous when… I don’t know, human boys touch you in a friendship-like manner or shake hands with you?”

“We’ve had a talk about this and he said that he had to accept the fact that humans are like that. But I have the feeling that he’s not entirely pleased about it”

“Did you guys ever fight?”

“We had… disagreements but it never really ended in a fight. Because you need negative emotions on both sides for that, like Bennett said.”

“Oh right” the teacher arrived and they entered the classroom. Carissa used the couple of minutes she had left to check her messages. She had gotten three other invitations to interviews for her traineeship and Starfleet Command requested her to let them know once she had a new PADD. By the time the lesson started, she had answered everything important and somehow it felt as if the incidents from a few days ago had not happened. At least not what concerned her education.

-oO0Oo-

Starfleet Command had answered and asked her to see them after she was done with classes for the day. Nicole seemed surprised and a little disappointed because she thought they’d had to postpone their talk about Carissa’s relationship. The brunette had no idea what she preferred, the meeting with Fleet Command or being pumped about her boyfriend. Probably the latter because that was less formal and she could leave or tell her friend to stop if she didn’t like it. On the other hand, she was curious to find out what exactly the Command wanted from her but she had a feeling it had to do with her report about the mission.

After she promised to meet Nicole in the library when the meeting was over, Carissa left the Academy. As it seemed, she was already awaited by three members of Starfleet Command.

“Cadet Wiley, we are glad you could make it”

“Sorry if I’m late, Sir”

“No, you are not” he gave her a sympathetic nod “Alright, let’s begin. Firstly, we want to express our sympathy that you were involved in these events”

“It’s okay. I mean… no one could have known what would happen” she got told that they needed her to write a report because so far they only had one side of the story, the logs and reports of the Enterprise.

“Unfortunately, there were no log entries from the USS Vengeance because Admiral Marcus has died before he had the chance to do so. The rest of the crew was killed when the ship crashed, leaving you as the only survivor of the crew”

“I understand. But I don’t remember everything that has happened and uh… I was getting hysteric towards the end so I don’t know how objective I can write this report”

“We know that you are only a Cadet and were absolutely not prepared to file a report, so we know that we probably will never know everything that has happened, but anything you can tell us will be a help. We have decided that it would not be fair to let you do this alone”

“That’s great. Thank you. Who will be helping me?”

“Since we don’t want too many people knowing the truth before we know everything, we deemed it best if you work together with someone who was involved into the whole matter. The Enterprise’s First Officer, Commander Spock, has agreed to assist you” she couldn’t help but smile “Unfortunately he couldn’t make it today but he has assured us that you know a way to make contact with him”

“Yes, I do” she had to bite back a grin

“Very well. Is there something else you need to know?”

“Uhm… it doesn’t actually have to do with the report but something else… I don’t know if you know what I mean but at some point during this mission, I have called you, Starfleet Command, for help when Admiral Marcus ordered to destroy the Enterprise… will-will I be in trouble because of that?”

“We cannot say this for sure now, since we can only decide the next steps after we have all the facts - in other words, your report. But I believe there won’t be any consequences for you because I doubt that anyone will officially accuse you for what you did. It can happen, however, that this incident of arbitrary act is mentioned in your file”

“Which is not as bad as it sounds because for all we know you were under stress and fear when you did it and you only wanted to do what seemed right, so maybe it could even turn out to be a positive note” before she left, they reminded her to keep this a secret until they made the information of Admiral Marcus’ act of treason public. Feeling happier than before, Carissa left the office and returned to the Academy to meet Nicole.

-oO0Oo-

“Alright” Nicole said, after they had found a quiet spot for themselves “I’m dying to know how you two met. I mean sure, you met in class, but you must have met outside class at some point”

“Ah yes…” she chuckled “Oliver and his homies were waiting for me somewhere and well… did as they always do. I tried to remain calm what seemed to upset them and finally they threatened me with violence. I only told them that this surely was against Academy regulations and then I suddenly heard someone behind me citing the whole article about violence against others from the Academy regulations, as well as the consequences”

“Let me guess, that someone was Spock?”

“Who else?” she giggled “I’m sure Spock’s lectured them for over ten minutes while I tried to hold back a smirk. Oliver and his friends left with a warning. Then he asked me if I was alright or if it didn’t keep at the threat. Before he left he told me that I should let him know if they bothered me again”

“Okay, I must admit that is incredibly cute. But go on”

“Well that was our first contact outside class”

“And how did your story continue?”

“As you know me, I was lagging far behind in his lessons so I once decided to do some catch up work and spent hours in the library, reading more about the topic”

“I think I remember that…”

“Yeah and in the end I felt like I wasn’t any better so I had no choice but to go and ask him after a lesson. That is how I learned that I had been looking at stuff that was too advanced and that the Academy curriculum wouldn’t even cover that. He offered me tutoring instead and we were a group of three cadets who were in his office that day. The others left and for some stupid reason I was dallying because I hoped to have a moment alone with him because yes, I already had a thing for him back then. But then my mom called me and you know how that can go so luckily he left the room but I’m quite sure he heard most of it.”

“Shit, I can imagine that” she grimaced “And then?”

“Well when I was done, he came back and I apologized. He said it was okay and that it was good that I have a close relationship to my family. Then I asked how his was and well… then I realized he’s Vulcan and started stuttering stuff that Vulcans maybe are different then I saw that I was rude and all yeah. But he wasn’t offended at all and explained me everything. He told me of his parents and that is how I learned that he’s only Half Vulcan”

“What? I thought that was just a rumor”

“No, it’s true, his mother is… was human”

“Well I guess that’s better for you, I mean maybe that allows him to show emotion better”

“Maybe. At least this is the reason he is even here and did not stay on Vulcan. Besides, most of them think lesser of humans and in return we’re not overly fond of Vulcans…”

“I don’t mean offense but to a part I understand that… after all Vulcans sometimes tend to brag with their intellect and superiority”

“I know. Spock sometimes does that too but he assured me that there’s no ill intention behind it or that he means to humiliate someone. He said he’s merely pointing out facts or observations. And I mean it is true, Vulcans are more intelligent than we and can do certain things better”

“Yeah. But let’s put that aside… how did your story continue?”

“Right. Before I had to leave because there was something he needed to do, he asked me if Oliver and his friends had bullied me again and if he could do something against it. Because he had heard about the rumors they were spreading about me… you know, teacher’s pet and all”

“And what did you say?”

“I told him not to worry about it and that I could handle it myself. And well, then I left”

“Oh come on, don’t make me ask you everything, just tell me how you got together”

“Okay, alright. It started on the day we had this exam task to repair a shuttlecraft in engineering class”

“The one you almost got electrocuted because of that idiot?”

“Exactly. Well, that happened because he thought he could turn on the power without telling me, while I was working on some cables inside the shuttle and yeah. Luckily, I was working on my PADD right in that moment because otherwise I’d be dead… You know that part already. Then one of the examiners came to us to inquire what happened and held him a lecture about communication and consideration”

“That was Spock, right I’ve seen him there…”

“Exactly. But as you know, I was brought to the sickbay where a first year cadet who was about to do his test, misunderstood electroshock for a normal, psychic shock and gave me a tranquilizer or something. I mean it was exam time so it wasn’t even that wrong that this was the first thing he could think of. Anyways, later that day Spock came to give me back my PADD which he needed to repair because the electric shock that hit me also affected my PADD. And well, I was drugged with a tranquilizer I didn’t need so I started talking shit. No idea what exactly but I must have told him he was cute and how much I liked him and that he’s so caring and all…”

“Well shit”

“So the next day, when I was my normal self again, I was so, so embarrassed that I had to go to him and apologize. I planned to lie and say that I had no idea why I was saying that. Let’s just say he didn’t even let me come that far because he admitted that he too was ‘experiencing likewise’ and all. So uh that was really awkward for me and I suggested we could forget that and continue as if nothing had happened. Then he held me this speech that it would be highly illogical to do so because we both know that we are in love with each other and well… asked me to I was okay if we started a relationship. But I wasn’t happy, I mean him being a professor and all but then he assured me that this would not make a difference and that we just couldn’t talk about anything that had to do with my education and then there would be no reason to fear… he also assured me that he wouldn’t give me preferential treatment and after I asked for some time to consider it, I agreed”

“Oh okay I see. Maybe it was good that cadet gave you the wrong hypo or else you wouldn’t have told him”

“Yeah I guess so”

“Okay, now I want details. Has he ever taken you out on dates?”

“No, we’ve almost only met in his office and a few times in our dorm when you were away. I mean when you were not in San Francisco because we didn’t want to be caught at any cost. That’s also why we never went out”

“Sneaky. Well, you definitely managed to keep it a secret though”

“You really never suspected I have a boyfriend?”

“Sometimes I did… but I thought you would have told me if you ever get one. So when you told me that you broke up, a part of me was mad at you that you didn’t tell me before or who it was. But now I understand. Although I wouldn’t have judged you for being with a Professor. Oh shit, I just realized how disturbing it must have been for you that Oliver and co. were always hinting you had something going on with Bennett”

“To be honest… that didn’t even bother me too much because I knew they were wrong and I had someone better”

“But how-how is it even like to be with a Vulcan? I mean he certainly doesn’t tell you ‘I love you’ all the time”

“In fact he never said it. And you’re right, he generally doesn’t talk much about his feelings, only when it is really important. But he assured me that he cares deeply about me and all until he’d tell me otherwise. So I just need to remember that when I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore. But oh, you should see how sweet he can be. For example, last night I was having nightmares and he stayed with me all night after that and held me in his arms because he knew it comforted me”

“You mean he stayed awake for you?”

“Oh he planned to do that anyway… because I had his bed and he had nowhere else to sleep”

“Okay, if that isn’t love I don’t know. Damn, Cassie, you gotta keep that man”

“That’s what I’m planning to do”

“But how is it like to spend time with him? What do you do?”

“We talk a lot, or play chess or just sit close to each other and he corrected essays while I was doing homework”

“How about touching, cuddling and all?”

“Well, most of it comes from me, I squeeze his arm, hug him or kiss his cheek or whatever. Sometimes he does something in return, like taking my hand in his or hug back. I know this is something that is not usual for Vulcans so it means a lot to me as well when he does that” she giggled “But there are times where he takes the lead, which usually only happens when he would be thrilled by human standards”

“That doesn’t sound too bad, I guess. But don’t you fear he’d leave you for a Vulcan girl one day?”

“We have talked about this shortly and he said that the only reason he’d come together with one was to… well… have a child now that Vulcans are endangered and all”

“And what about you? Could you imagine a whole life with him? I mean there’s probably so much you’d have to give a miss”

“I haven’t really thought about it in the long term but right now I don’t need more. And I can see he’s opening up more and more. At the beginning everything was so awkward and we both didn’t know what to talk and all… now it just comes naturally and yeah. It’s good that Vulcans are quite direct so he tells me when there’s something he doesn’t like, which is why I sometimes just try out stuff like touching him and if he doesn’t react it means he’s fine but when he protests I stop. And we’ve gotten quite good at reading each other and sometimes I am able to know what he’s feeling, well not exactly feeling but you know what I mean”

“How’s that possible? I mean he’s always got this pokerface mien”

“Well, it’s not just about what his mien shows. Because that are only tiny, tiny muscle movements that you’ll miss when you blink in the wrong moment. You also need to think a little, like when someone tells him bad news it’s obvious that this will bother him somehow. However, there is something he often does; raising an eyebrow”

“Ah yes, I know that from the lessons”

“Yes and I’m an expert at reading it. Usually. Sometimes it means something like ‘are you sure?’ but it can also mean something like ‘holy shit’ or ‘what the fuck?’ Or the classic one I get whenever I make a joke ‘Really? Are you serious?’” Nicole chuckled

“Well I was able to see that there are different heights he raises them. But I couldn’t figure out what they mean. Something negative, I thought because that was usual when someone gave a stupid reply”

“Yeah. But it mostly a positive response when I’m around”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Who’d feel positive about having you around?” she nudged her side.

“Good I’ll leave” she pretended to pout.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it Cassie, will you forgive me?”

“Only if you’re nice” she crossed her arms like a toddler

“I promise”

“Okay” she grinned

“But why again did you two break up?”

“Oh right, that is a longer story” she told her friend about her first mission and Nero and the real reason Nero captured her

“And well so he concluded that I would get into danger when I am with him so he decided it is better if we break up”

“Hm well… it kinda makes sense. But that last time you didn’t even need him. I mean, a few days ago”

“Actually… there’s more behind it. But I can’t tell you yet because it wasn’t made official. However, me almost dying and the fact that I wasn’t really safe showed him that he actually wanted to be with me”

“And so he asked you to give him a second chance…”

“Yup. And you know the rest already”

“Apart from what exactly happened when you were on the Vengeance. But you can’t tell me now, I know you also need time to digest it”

“Well… actually I need to file a report for Starfleet Command because I’m the only survivor of the Vengeance”

“An official report?”

“Yes I know. But I’ll get help” she said with a smile.

“That’s good. Oh God, Cassie, I’m happy for you. I mean everything with Spock. And I’m looking forward to meeting him tomorrow”

“Yeah that will be interesting”

“Luckily you’ve told me everything now, so I won’t ask embarrassing questions”

“Believe me, you’ll still do that”

“Just shut up you…” she raised her fist

“Okay, now I’ve told you everything about my love-life. Your turn now. Anyone you fancy?”

-oO0Oo-

She was at the apartment before her boyfriend and decided to try out a new Vulcan meal until he arrived. While cooking, she played some music and sang to it, which was the situation to which Spock returned. He commented the scene with a raise of his eyebrow at what Carissa chuckled.

“Do you want me to turn it off?” she said, pointing at the source of the music.

“No there is no reason to do so”

“Okay. Let me know if you change your mind”

“Are you preparing another meal?”

“No, I’m running an experiment to see at which heat your pans melt”

“This experiment cannot succeed under this circumstances as my stove will never provide enough heat for the cooking utensils to reach their boiling point” she giggled

“Wow, I’m joking about melting your pans and you react that casual?”

“There is no need for concern since I know that what you were planning to do is not possible”

“Well, okay. Logic and knowledge save the day again…”

“If you are not conducting an experiment I conclude that you must indeed be cooking”

“Yup. And you’re not helping this time” he raised an eyebrow before Carissa ushered him out of the kitchen.

-oO0Oo-

After dinner, Carissa worked on her homework while her boyfriend seemed to be working on something on his PADD. After a while, she got up and dragged her chair next to his and sat down only a feet apart. He looked up and glanced at her then focused on his work again. Somehow a part of her believed that there was a flash of joy in his mien. She was sure that they’d get to know each other even better in the time they lived together and she knew this would also have an impact on their relationship.

“I hope you do not mind me working and not spending time with you instead” he suddenly said

“No, it’s fine. I should do some homework anyway. After all I’ll also have to write this report. Thanks by the way, for offering me help. I don’t think I could do it alone”

“This is what I have been thinking as well and come to the conclusion that it would be logical if I helped you, seeing as I was responsible for our report because of the Captain’s death”

“Speaking of the Captain… do you have any idea when he’ll wake up?”

“It is not possible to determine when all cells will be regenerated so Doctor McCoy decided it is better to have him in an induced coma for two weeks”

“Okay” she gave a quick nod, then focused on her essay again.

-oO0Oo-

The following evening, Carissa decided to take care of the report because she wanted to hand it in as soon as possible, so that everything was over quicker. She tried to do it as far as she could so that she then could ask for Spock’s help for the parts she wasn’t sure. Although he had offered her help, she still feared she could bother him with her questions. Even when he assured her again that he didn’t mind she wasn’t too sure.

“Okay anyway… uh… shortly after we got onto the bridge I had a look around and so I missed what Marcus was talking to one of the helmsmen. It may have been important but I can’t say what it was. Do you think I should just leave it out?”

“That would not be advantageous”

“But I can’t write ‘I didn’t pay attention to their conversation’ or something like that”

“Did you have the feeling that the Admiral has not wanted everyone on the bridge to know about the topic of their conversation?”

“Maybe. They were talking quietly, now that I remember…”

“Then I suggest you write that he was engaged in a private conversation with his helmsman”

“That sounds good” she did so with a grin “Then, there’s this part where I wasn’t on the bridge because Admiral Marcus ordered to have me locked up. You know, at around the time I contacted you and when I went to see Jim and Scotty with Khan. Shall I write what happened to me in the time I was away?”

“In this case you would need to make a short notice that you have been led off the bridge earlier. But I would not recommend giving too many details about the incidents you have experienced while you were not on the bridge”

“So you think I should make a note that I was off the bridge and… I don’t know sum up that Jim, Scotty and Khan got onto the ship and came to the bridge?”

“Technically, Mr Scott had been on the ship ever since its departure, but I believe your suggestion is appropriate”

“Okay” she made a note that she could write this later on to ask her last question “And when we got onto the bridge, well Marcus and Jim had a discussion and I guess I’ve got most of it. But somehow I can’t remember what else happened. Sure, Khan knocked us all down and… I think he was the one who killed the Admiral. But I honestly can’t tell if something else has happened. Do you think this is because he hit my head against the chair before my brain could transfer the information to my long term memory?”

“That is exactly my thinking” he looked at her “I can understand this must be hard for you but there may be a way for me to find out if your memory is fragmentary or if you have merely repressed them” he raised his hand and she understood what he had in mind “Unless you are not able or willing to relive these moments” she swallowed

“This is important. Maybe Marcus has said something very important. If there’s a chance you can find out more…”

“Carissa, you are not obliged to do this. The Captain, Mr Scott or Lieutenant Marcus will be inquired about the incidents in either case. Moreover, if there should be any repressed memory you had a reason to suppress it and I cannot be the reason that it is brought back to the surface before you are ready”

“Spock” she said, placing a hand on his face “I know you’re concerned about me but Starfleet Command made me responsible for this report so I have to do this” he gave a nod

“Then please try to think of the events on the bridge” she closed her eyes and did as he said, when she felt his fingers on her face and seconds later she had the feeling to actually be back on the Vengeance. And relived the moments. Had it been any other moment of her life, she probably would have found it amazing. Obviously Spock had found something because she couldn’t remember that Khan had threatened Jim and Scotty to kill her if they didn’t drop their weapons. But that wasn’t even the worst part, she felt like she was about to vomit when she heard the cracking of Marcus’ skull again. Luckily Spock broke the connection seconds later when Khan hailed the Enterprise again. Carissa felt tears in her eyes and for some reason she tried to turn around but her boyfriend was quicker and pulled her against him, apologizing for what he did.

“It’s fine. I just need a moment… it felt so real”

“I know it did and I could sense your emotions of this moments as well”

“But did you find anything?”

“No, it does not seem as if you have memory gaps and I also could not find anything that you had repressed”

“What about the moment Khan took me hostage to threaten the others? I mean I couldn’t remember it before”

“This was not a repressed memory, you have only been unable to retrieve it at the moment, but I could”

“Oh okay. Do you think I need to write that? I mean it’s the explanation why Jim and Scotty couldn’t overpower Khan”

“I think it would be wise to mention it” she nodded “as for the last part, the one where Khan has been talking to you… I somehow don’t remember much of it but I guess that won’t matter because you must have mentioned that in your report already?”

“Correct. If you are unsure which phrasing you should use to describe your circumstances I am willing to help”

-oO0Oo-

Somehow Carissa had gotten used to living with her boyfriend and somehow she hoped the Academy had longer to rebuild new dorms towers. After all she had realized how much their relationship had progressed in the past days. It wouldn’t have been much for a relationship with a human but it filled her with joy that Spock had developed the habit to kiss her goodbye before he left in the morning. Plus, their evenings weren’t just filled with both of them working on their own projects but talking or games as well. Much to Carissa’s delight he allowed her to sit on his lap and snuggle against him. Of course he didn’t always pay much attention to her since he was often working on his PADD but she didn’t mind.

Almost two weeks after the incidents on the Vengeance Jim was woken from his coma. Since it was on her free day, she asked Spock if he’d take her with him and to her surprise he agreed. They met Doctor McCoy in front of Jim’s room

“Oh there is my second Jesus” he said with a grin as recognized Carissa

“I wasn’t actually dead. Only clinically”

“Yeah but you were that close to dead-dead” he held his forefinger and thumb half an inch apart.

“Well thanks I you I wasn’t. And I doubt ‘dead-dead’ is a correct medical term”

“Damn it, being with the hobgoblin made you almost as insufferable as him”

“How-how did you know?” she looked to her boyfriend

“I’m not blind, Carissa, I saw the way he held and looked at you he was in the Sick Bay when we thought we’d lose you. I’ve never seen him like that before and I doubt I ever will again” Carissa glanced at Spock again “So you guys do whatever you want, no reason to keep it a secret from me anymore”

“Thanks” Carissa said, not really knowing how she should feel about him knowing.

“Oh and besides, now that you’re already here, I’d like to check you up real quick to make sure you’re not getting any kind of consequential damage”

“Okay” she agreed with a shrug and they entered the room. It took Jim about half an hour before he finally woke up but like her, he didn’t seem like someone who had been severely injured, respectively dead. Although, as McCoy explained he was weak because he had been in a coma and only gotten an infusion during that time. After a short conversation with her boyfriend, Jim turned to Carissa

“Glad you made it too”

“Well when they already were reviving you they did the same to me, logically” she replied with a shrug

“Luckily. I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my career with a gloomy Vulcan as my First Officer” Spock only raised an eyebrow and Carissa chuckled “Even though you’re not talking to each other right now” he tried to sit up, making the Doctor protest “Oh leave it Bones, you said it yourself, I was barely dead” he pushed his hand away and sat up, for what he eventually needed his friend’s help anyway. “But I’ve got to use my second chance and play Cupid” he smiled at the brunette “He still loves you that is for sure. You should have seen him after Admiral Marcus wanted to beam you onto the Enterprise”

“Captain, I do not think that Carissa should…”

“Oh yes, I think she should know” he smirked and turned back at Carissa “He seemed like a hysterical hen and grabbed my arm, almost shouting at me to tell him what Marcus was gonna do, beam you onto the Enterprise or not”

“I did not ‘grab’ your arm, I merely made physical contact with it. Moreover, a Vulcan would never shout”

“Well okay, but you were upset that could be heard in your voice” he winked at Carissa who let out a giggle “Or you should have seen him wince after Khan banged your head against that chair. There was terror in his eyes for almost a second before he caught himself”

“Captain, I appreciate your help concerning my relationship but I have to inform you that your attempt is belated”

“What? Belated? Does that mean you’re together again? Why didn’t you tell me straightaway?”

“What’s that supposed to mean, together again? You have been together before and broke up?”

“I would rather not discuss that here and now” Spock said

“Fine, I’ll just ask Carissa when I’m examining her” she glanced at Spock who agreed with a nod. “Ah wow, that’s typical. Let’s let the woman do the talking, huh?” again her boyfriend raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

-oO0Oo-

Much to her surprise Spock waited for her until she was done with her examination and McCoy’s questioning.

“I’ve wanted to ask you this ever since you made that deal with Khan, to give him back his torpedoes” she told him on their way home “How could you be so sure he would betray you, I mean according to McCoy you pulled quite a stunt with removing Khan’s people from the torpedoes and arming them… that could have gone terribly wrong”

“It only seemed logical that he would try to get his crew back, which was something I could not allow. Besides, I have had help, the idea was not entirely my own”

“Who?”

“Mr Spock”

“You mean your future self?” she shrugged “I believe he told you that he would not help you”

“Indeed he did”

“So this means he must have met Khan too in his life?”

“That is correct. He described him as the most dangerous enemy he has ever faced” suddenly it hit her. She remembered why she had thought to have heard Khan’s name before.

“I think I know why he helped you” he raised an eyebrow in surprise “You know, that day I met him after Vulcan’s destruction, he has told me a bit about me. I mean the Carissa in his timeline. And he told me that Khan was responsible for… my death” she glanced at him and could see him swallow.

“He has informed me that the costs of his defeat were high but I would not have expected him to be affected personally by this”

“And that’s not all” she said “At the time the other Carissa died, she was pregnant” it was obvious that he didn’t like that information either

“He did not tell me about this”

“Probably because he knew it could distract you” her boyfriend agreed and it was obvious that he didn’t like the topic. If she was honest, she understood why, and didn’t feel too comfortable either. As if he needed to assure himself she was here, he took hold of her hand for the rest of the way.


	9. Party with Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Attempted rape, non-con drugging

Once the whole affair with Admiral Marcus was resolved, Carissa knew that she could finish with it now. Instead she could focus on her internship for which she had several interviews at the moment. Finally, she had her place as biologist on the USS Biddeford under Captain Bailey. She was really looking forward to it, after all a classmate was assigned to the same ship as well. When he started telling her how nervous he was since it would be his first mission and first time leaving Earth, she could only chuckle. Maybe it wasn’t that bad that she had been on missions before, missions that were that bad. So now she could see something more normal and peaceful.

And so it was, after she was back from the first three-day mission she was just raving about her experience during dinner with Spock who seemed pretty amused by her high spirits.

“Sorry if I’m jabbering like that” she finally said after she realized that her meal had gotten cold

“I do not mind it at all. It is good to see you filled with happiness” she chuckled

“The best thing is, I was out there, three days. And no one tried to kidnap or kill me” he raised an eyebrow. She bit her lip and tried to finish her meal quickly to not annoy her boyfriend if she took so long.

All too soon her traineeship was over and she had to focus on her end of term exams. The cadets were informed that, if everything went well, they would have finished one dorm tower by the end of the summer break, which meant that a part of the students could move back to proper dorms. But Carissa knew that there would be more new cadets next year because the number of fourth years was quite low after Nero had killed a lot of them. Somehow Carissa didn’t want to move back to a dorm, even if Nicole insisted she wanted to share with her again. On the other hand, she couldn’t just continue to live with her boyfriend although he had now organized a couch and could be convinced that Carissa too spent some nights on it. But when she told him that it was his decision if he wanted her to stay with him for another half a year or not he admitted that he liked having her around. At least he implied it. Nevertheless did Carissa try to see if maybe she could instead move into a full dormitory anyway, just like some of her friends had to over the past months. But as it seemed the other cadets weren’t too happy with that, after all they’d need to share as well and right now Carissa had a nice place to stay, so she decided it probably could wait another couple of months. At least if her boyfriend didn’t throw her out before.

Once her exams were over, all the cadets had in mind was the huge end of term party and their holidays. As always, the cadets were encouraged to bring more people to the party, like partners or friends. She really considered asking Spock to come but she doubted that going to a party would be something he liked. But in the end she told him anyways.

“I am not sure if this is a fortunate idea. Your friends might think I am here to bring their festivity to an end. Besides, I remember attending such a party during my time as a cadet and I have witnessed certain scenes that were not entirely proper”

“Okay, I know it can get out of control a little and some end up doing pretty hard shit… but that’s not my thing either. So I just look the other way and try to ignore it”

“That is what I was trying to explain, I do not think I am able to simply pretend it does not happen and could feel obliged to stop them”

“Oh I understand” she nodded and put a hand on his arm “I don’t want them to get angry with you. Besides, I think you’re happy to stay away from the party anyway” she raised her finger “But next year’s gonna be my last one and then you won’t have any excuse like professor’s dinner or whatever” she grinned as she remembered how her first party had fallen onto the same date as the professors of the Academy had dinner together. And both of them could have brought their partners to their festivity but the temporal overlap wasn’t the only reason this couldn’t work out, after all they had only been together for a bit more than a week at that point and no one could know of their relationship.

“I will see if I am able to make it”

“You’d really come?”

“I know this will be important to you and if you wish for me to come, I will accompany you” she nodded and pecked his cheek

“Yeah, but we’ve still got a year until then. Guess I’ll just hang out with my friends then this time” she shrugged.

-oO0Oo-

Although Carissa wasn’t all too fond of huge parties she still loved this one. Okay, she had to admit it probably had to do with the fact that she had drunk a little bit. Maybe a bit too much, she thought when her stomach protested and she disappeared to the toilet. She sat down on the toilet, instantly feeling better to just be away from the people. Some minutes later she felt well enough to go back but the made a mental note to stop drinking. At least alcohol, maybe she should get something to eat instead. Just outside the toilet she suddenly found herself on the floor and heard laughter behind her. Oliver, of course

“Ha, ha” she growled and before she could get up, a fourth year cadet helped her up.

“You alright?” he asked, steadying her when she stood again

“I guess so, yeah” she cleared her throat and he still held her “Uhm you can let go of me, I’m fine”

“That fall looked pretty bad. You want me to beat this idiot up?”

“No, I don’t want to make a scene here”

“I’d be the one making a scene”

“Sure, but still... he’s just an idiot and I don’t think it would be of any use” he nodded and pushed back a strand of her hair. “Err...” she mumbled, not knowing how to tell him she’d rather if he let her go now

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I should go back to my friends” she lied and turned around to see if Nicole and Lucie were somewhere. Suddenly she felt lips on the side of her neck and her head snapped back “What are you doing?”

“Convincing you to stay with me a little longer” somehow, she found the feeling pleasant but something in her told her to just go away. Yet she didn’t and let out a giggle when he pecked her cheek. “Come on” he whispered in her ear and pulled her into the men’s bathroom behind them. A part of her wanted to protest but she didn’t. Suddenly his lips were on hers and he pulled her closer while she buried her hands in his hair. She shuddered when his hands wandered under her shirt and she only found herself pressing closer to him. Shortly after he pressed her against one of the loo stalls and kissed her even fiercer. Then his lips moved to her neck again and she felt his hair tickle her chin, making her giggle. His hands left her skin and wandered down, fumbling with her belt. Her head shot up

“What-what am I even doing here?” she looked at the cadet and realized what she had just done “Oh my God” she cried, trying to push him away. What had gotten into her? Why didn’t she stop him earlier?

“What’s wrong?”

“I-I have a boyfriend” she explained

“Is he here?”

“No”

“What’s bothering you then? He’ll never know” his lips moved to hers again. Oddly, she didn’t even find herself protesting and enjoyed it. Meanwhile, the young man started to open her trousers slowly. Then his hands slipped under her shirt again and removed her bra skillfully

“You’re good at that” she giggled when he tossed it away. He only grinned at her and kissed her again. The door to the bathroom was opened but she didn’t care. At least not until whoever had entered pulled the cadet away from her and gave him a blow to the jaw. Carissa recognized him. Jim Kirk. Next to her, she heard a girl screaming and turned around to her. But she only saw her leave.

“Would you please explain what you think you’re doing?” Jim shouted at the other male

“Why is that your concern? I can fuck whoever I want”

“Well, not her”

“Why not?” Jim let go of him after kicking him between the legs and came to Carissa instead

“Did he hurt you?”

“No I’m fine. What are you doing in our bathroom?”

“Your-your bathroom?” she remembered that this wasn’t the girl’s bathroom

“Oopsie, I said nothing” she pressed a finger to her lips

“Come on, let’s go” he looked past her and frowned “Where’s Mara?”

“The other girl? Dunno? Ah wait, she left when you started beating him” she chuckled

“Well you definitely owe me one”

“Why?”

“Why? I just saved your ass!”

“Saved from what?”

“Come on” he growled “You’ve had too much”

“That’s not true! I only had three shots” she held up her hand

“Yeah and that are five fingers. I bet that’s closer to the truth”

“No” she shrieked and pulled away from him “One” she held up her thumb “Two” a second finger “Three” and her middle finger too. That’s all”

“Alright, I guess I should bring you home or else your boyfriend will flay me alive” she pouted

“No I’m having fun” she pulled away and tried to run but he was quicker and grabbed her arm “Heeeeeeeeee” she screamed as she almost fell over and scolded him for his action

“That’s it. We’re leaving”

“Wait! I’ve gotta tell Nicole!” she said and spun around to find her.

“Let’s go” on their way over to her friend she started begging him to let her stay

“I won’t tell Spock. I promise”

“That’s not the thing. You’re drunk”

“I’m not”

“Oh yeah you are...” he found her friends and told them that he’d bring Carissa home.

“Here” Nicole said, handing her back her beer which Carissa had given her before she left to the toilet “Try and make your boyfriend drunk”

“That won’t work because Vulcans can’t get drunk”

“How much did she have?” Jim asked

“Not much, anyway. Three shots and some sips of this beer”

“See?” Carissa whined “I’m fine so leave me alone” she crossed her arms and let out a huff

“She shouldn’t be behaving like this” Nicole said

“Oh now you’re plotting against me! That’s not fair” she stomped her foot and saw Nicole grin.

“What did you just say? Isn’t that her normal behavior after she drank that amount?”

“No”

“Yes because I’m perfectly fine. I’m better than usual” Carissa explained. Jim took the bottle of beer from her friend and examined and sniffed it.

“Well that’s normal beer”

“See? Now I’m gonna get something else” she walked towards the bar but her wrist was grabbed

“No you won’t. I’ll not be the one to tell Spock about this”

“Then don’t” she leaned closer “He’ll never know if you don’t tell him. And if you don’t want him to find out, then I should stay here or else he’ll see me like this. And I don’t think you want his lecture” she giggled and tried her best to make an imitation of her boyfriend

“If I wasn’t so worried about you I’d find it funny”

“I am funny” she said, slapping his chest

“Come on, let’s get you home. Bye, Nicole, it was nice to meet you” he pulled her along until they reached his friend Leonard McCoy who was talking to one of Carissa’s classmates. “Bones, she’s had one too much. I’m getting her home” he announced. The doctor nodded but Carissa wrapped her arms around him

“Noooo! I’m not leaving. Jim’s so mean. I want to stay. You’re the doctor, you can tell him I’m fine” she looked at him with puppy eyes

“How much did she have?”

“According to her friend not much” when Carissa realized that Jim had let go of her, she smirked and slipped away, mingling into the crowd. This was their party and she could stay if she wanted. Suddenly there was a drunk cadet who started dancing with her and spun her around. It was very funny until she found herself on the floor again. After two seconds that was amusing too and she started laughing. Her laugh died when McCoy stood in front of her

“Hey” she shouted, patting his shoulder after he pulled her up

“What were you thinking?”

“Fun” she replied.

“We’ll go and look for Jim, then we accompany you home”

“But I want to stay” she shouted and tried to lunge at him with an angry cry.

“If you’re attacking everyone you see you’re not only a danger to yourself”

“I only hit idiots who deserve it”

“Fine, I’ll remind you to hit your boyfriend when you get home”

“No, not Spock. He did nothing wrong. He’s more fun than you”

“Oh what do you think he’d say if he saw you like that” she raised her forefinger and she pulled on the tips of her ears

“Carissa, your behavior is very immature because you are too intoxicated. You have drunken 49.352 percent too much” suddenly she fell silent “But what if he hates me?”

“Hey, what makes you think that?”

“I-I don’t know” she pouted “I was stupid”

“We all make mistakes” he pulled her close and hugged her. She leaned against his chest and sighed deeply

“Coy, I’m tired” she mumbled a couple of seconds later. He broke away from her and looked at her.

“I’ll get you home” she shrugged

“Okay”

“You don’t want to stay?”

“I don’t care… I don’t know”

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“Dunno” he pulled her away a little

“I’m gonna take your shoes off”

“Okay” she shrugged and watched as he got down and removed one of her shoes.

“Let’s go” he said as he put it away and started pulling her away “Do you have everything?”

“Don’t know… probably”

“What about your shoe?”

“Shoe?”

“The shoe I just took off”

“Ah… I don’t care. You can have it” he nodded and got her shoe anyway

“Put it on” she did as he said, wondering what he was doing. He pulled her through the room until they found Jim. They talked together for a short while but Carissa didn’t listen. “Come” McCoy said and wrapped an arm around her “Let’s go” she nodded and waved goodbye at Jim who returned the gesture. The doctor led her outside and Carissa took a deep breath. “If you’re not feeling well tell me”

“I’m good” she said as they walked in silence for some time

“We’re heading to the laboratory”

“Okay” she smiled “But I thought you said you’d bring me home?”

“I don’t even know where you live. Well, where Spock lives to be precise”

“It’s not far. Do you want me to show you?”

“No, as I said, I’m not bringing you there”

“Oh right”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Why should it? I trust you”

“You sure do” he muttered. They reached the laboratory and Leonard (he had told her to call him that) made her sit down on a chair after he pulled out two of her hairs. Then he pulled out a communicator and switched it on. When she heard him say Spock’s name her head shot up. She got up and joined the man “Yes Spock you don’t need to lecture me on the time and all. I know it’s late. But this is serious. It is about Carissa”

“That’s not true” she protested and leaned closer to the communicator “Spock, don’t believe him. I only had that much to drink” she held her forefinger and thumb an inch apart “Oh oops, you can’t see that”

“I am perfectly able to imagine your gesture” Spock replied, making her giggle

“You’ll never guess where I am”

“But I can narrow it down. Given the fact that you have access to a…”

“Okay, Spock listen that’s not the time for stupid thought experiments. We’re in the lab. And Carissa’s been behaving odd so I am having her tested on Gamma-Hydroxybutric acid right now and I’m sure it will be positive” there was silence at the other end

“I am on my way and will be arriving in 7.37 minutes. Doctor McCoy?”

“What? Do you need directions? Or do you want me to use a stopwatch to say if you actually have 7. whatever minutes”

“Both of your suggestions are not necessary, doctor. But I wanted to ask you to take care of Carissa”

“Hell what d’you think I’m doing here, you ungrateful hobgoblin?”

“I am experiencing gratefulness for your assistance” he ended the call

“And that’s why I hate Vulcans. Now I’m suddenly only ‘assistance’” he growled.

“You don’t think he’s mad? I mean…” she let out a yawn “Because I’m drunk”

“You’re not drunk. At least not that much”

“I knew it!” she hit the counter with her hand

“But you are not alright either. Do you know what Gamma-Hydroxybutric is or GHB is?”

“I think I have heard of it” she murmured

“You definitely have heard of its unofficial name ‘date-rape-drug’, haven’t you?”

“What?” her head shot up “That-that cannot be. I always watched my drink” she shook her head “Who could have done this?”

“That is the next thing I want to find out” he assured her. “First I’ll need official proof that you have been drugged”

“Are you really gonna try and find out who did this?”

“I guess I won’t even need to do that myself” he said “Spock will take care of that once he has seen the positive result of the test. Somehow it does wonder me he came just because I told him about my assumption and I do believe it is because this is about you. I hope you realize how that too proves how much you mean to him” she shrugged “Well I’ll have to tell you again. Because I doubt you remember everything tomorrow” she let out a huff and yawned again. Finally, the test was done but somehow she didn’t want to know the result. Leonard took a look, then glanced at her

“And?”

“Let me put it that way… we’re gonna find out how a Vulcan reacts upon hearing that someone tried to rape his girlfriend” Carissa nodded slowly not sure what to think about this. Her mouth felt dry and she started to feel sick.

“Is there anything I can do? I mean could you give me something to make me vomit that I get this GHB out of my body?”

“It’s too late for that, it already is in your blood. But it can do something against the alcohol you had”

Huh?”

“If you mix it with alcohol, its effect can be much worse. So I think it’s best if we do something” he left and came back with a powder and a beaker. “Here” he said, filling it with some of the distilled water on the table and added the powder “Drink this. I’ll organize a bucket you can use”

“How long until it works?”

“It can take a couple of minutes” she nodded and emptied it

“Hm. I expected it to taste awful. But it was okay” she said, when he came back and placed a metal bowl on the table in front of her.

“Just try not to miss it. Don’t feel like cleaning it up” as minutes passed by she could feel almost her stomach bubbling up and she started to feel sick. Suddenly, the door opened and her boyfriend came in.

“Oh there you are” Leonard said “You’re almost a minute early. Did you run?” Carissa let out a giggle, then she felt that the powder was working. She turned to the table and vomited into the bowl “Woah, I don’t like him either but I think you’re overreacting a little” the doctor chuckled. If she hadn’t been vomiting at the moment she surely would have glared at him.

“To my knowledge, the results of the test should be analyzed by now and I would like to know them”

“Yeah they are and it’s positive. Your girl is on GHB. But I can’t understand why you at least ask her how she is doing... I mean she is blowing chunk”

“I do not know whether you mean by the term ‘blowing chunk’. However, I doubt she would have been able to give me a correct and informative description of her status in her current condition. Therefore, I concluded that the best method to acquire the information concerning her wellbeing is to read the results of the analysis”

“Oh right, I forgot. That’s the logic way of thinking. Just make sure no feelings are involved and doctor McCoy doesn’t notice I might actually care”

“You are mistaken, doctor. I do indeed care about Carissa’s wellbeing”

“So, the fact she’s vomiting doesn’t even bother you?”

“Vomiting is known to be a side effect of Gamma-Hydroxybutric acid. Moreover, the point of regurgitation is detoxication of the body and thus is a defense mechanism of the humans” Carissa looked up and saw the last flash of Leonard’s eyeroll.

“Do you think that was everything?” he asked her when he had a short glance into the bowl

“I-I don’t know. God, I feel worse” she pressed a hand against her stomach.

“It’ll pass. Just stay near the bowl for a couple of minutes”

“I think I won’t go away from it at all” she muttered.

“I would like to know how Carissa’s condition came about”

“If you mean how she got the GHB, that’s what I’m trying to find out myself”

“I don’t know” Carissa said holding up her hands “I certainly didn’t take it willingly”

“This is not something either of us has implied. Can you recall when you started to notice your first symptoms?”

“Err... what symptoms?”

“Have you been feeling enthusiastic, weak-willed or maybe sick?” Leonard asked

“Well uh, I felt weird and then I went to the toilet and when I came out there was this fourth year cadet who helped me up after Oliver pushed me...”

“The same cadet who took you to the men’s bathroom?”

“Yeah”

“Okay, what have you been drinking before that? Before you went to the toilet?”

“A beer. But it can’t have been that. Nicole got it from the bar for me and she would have noticed if someone put something in it”

“Was your friend able to have a view of your alcoholic drink from the moment it had been opened until it was given to her?”

“How do you mean that?”

“If no one has modified your drink after Nicole received it, the logical conclusion is that it must have been mutated behind the counter”

“Wait, you’re trying to say it was the barkeeper’s doing?”

“I did not accuse anyone; I merely expressed a possibility”

“Then we should find out who, working behind the bar, could have an interest in hurting Carissa”

“Your presumption excludes the option that she was an unselected victim”

“So what you suggest we do? Go into the bar and ask ‘Hey barkeepers, has anyone drugged our friend? Did you do it on purpose?’”

“I doubt they would be willing to admit their deed”

“For fuck’s sake that was a joke. But honestly, what are we supposed to do? Do you want to go in there and read their minds?” to Carissa’s surprise Spock didn’t reply but turned to her

“I recall you have confirmed the doctors question if a male has taken you to the men’s bathroom”

“Yes”

“Did he commence proceedings which could have led on to non-consensual copulation?”

“Wow, that’s the most formal and innocent paraphrase I’ve ever heard for attempted rape” she felt her lip trembling and broke out in tears.

“I-I… he started making out with me and-and I let him. I don’t know why” she sobbed “I’m sorry. I-I should have stopped him but I enjoyed it”

“Spock, do something, she’s crying”

“If you are implying that I should comfort her by establishing physical contact, I would like to inform you that it would not be fortunate or appropriate to touch her without her consent given the circumstances” and what if he only said that because he was mad at her? Or disappointed

“You’re mad at me because I didn’t stop him” she choked out

“Carissa, your assumption is incorrect… would you allow me to hold you?” she only nodded and relaxed when he took her into his arms.

“I’m sorry” she mumbled

“I am not addressing reproaches to you, I know that this was not your culpability, seeing that you have been affected by gamma-Hydroxybutric acid. However, I am concerned about you.” he kissed her hair “I assure you that I will do everything to hold the offender accountable” the corners of her lips twitched upwards and she buried her face in his chest

“I know you will” she mumbled “But how are we supposed to find out who is responsible?”

“Can you recall if the cadet who tried to force himself onto you has been working behind the counter?”

“Uh… no idea” she admitted “But I can describe the one who tried to… well… you know” he agreed and she told him what she knew “But I don’t know his name” slowly, her boyfriend let go of her and held her upper arms

“If you agree I can connect our minds to ascertain more”

“Are you sure? It was pretty bad”

“Carissa what has happened cannot be changed. But it may enable us to find the person responsible”

“That makes sense” she gave a nod “I’m ready” she closed her eyes and thought of the party. She couldn’t feel his touch but soon she had the feeling to be back at the party. When she saw the cadet who made out with her, she felt ashamed. Much to her surprise however, Spock didn’t watch the scene for too long before he obviously tried to retrieve an earlier memory of when she had been at the bar. Then he ended the mind-meld “And?” Carissa asked “What did you find out?”

“The cadet who has tried to get intimate with you is Andrew Wilson and I am almost certain that I have seen him behind the counter in your memory when you ordered a beverage”

“What? Don’t you think I would have noticed that, if he was the barkeeper? Or at least would have recognized him in the memory now?”

“Humans often tend to see but not recognize things. Furthermore, you were and are not in an efficient state”

“Oh thank you” she growled, turning her head away from him “But what now?”

“Doctor McCoy, I would like you to bring Carissa to my apartment while I will try to find Cadet Wilson and expostulate with him”

“I don’t even know where you live”

“I know the way” Carissa said

“That’s not the point. When did I sign up to be your girlfriend’s babysitter? Don’t get me wrong, Carissa, I don’t dislike you but I don’t want your boyfriend to tell me what to do”

“I take it you are aware that the cadets who plan to go home over summer will be leaving with the shuttle tomorrow? Which means the possibility to find Wilson when the night is over are below 13.92 percent. In addition, we had better try to finite the whole matter as soon as possible”

“Alright, alright, I get it. Do you expect me to stay with her as well to make sure she’s fine?”

“That would be fortunate since it would enable us to respond to…”

“When did this turn into ‘us’? I thought you’d be at the party”

“I am but I was referring…”

“Okay, both of you, quiet” Carissa said raising her hands “I can go home by myself and you both can go to inquire Andrew”

“I hate to admit it, but the Vulcan’s right. You should not be out there alone, who knows what happens if someone drunk bumps into you”

“Right”

“And I also think it’s better if I stay because you might fall into a comatose-like sleep. Needless to say that this is dangerous”

“But is there something you could do against it?”

“Well yes, there is. I could inject you stimulants in case your vital functions are starting to fade”

“Okay then, do you need to get them?”

“Wait a second” he raised his finger and left. She felt Spock’s hand on her upper arm

“Are you sure that you will be alright?”

“Are you doubting Leonard?”

“Your statement is not correct, I do trust him. But there may be situations in which he cannot help you”

“So why are you asking me then if I’m gonna be okay?” he opened his mouth “Okay I get it, I answer yes, I think I will be fine” he nodded

“I want you to promise to take care of yourself”

“I will. And you be careful. You can’t know what Andrew might get up to when you confront him”

“You forget that he cannot be a danger to me owing to his limited human strength”

“Yeah but he can still hurt you. Or what if you defend yourself and then you get into trouble for that?”

“Carissa, I promise that I will take care” there was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Good” she mumbled taking his hand in hers and interlaced their fingers.

“If you wish, I can be the one to stay with you whereas McCoy will speak to Cadet Wilson”

“No, I’m fine. Besides, McCoy is the doctor so I think it would be more logical if he stayed with me” she squeezed his hand gently. He brought his free hand to her face and leaned down and planted a gentle, yet loving kiss on her lips.

“I will give everything to return prior to your awakening” he whispered

“Alright, I’m ready to go before either of you gets the glorious idea to do something improper in here” when she turned to Leonard she saw that he had gotten rid of any traces of their presence, including her bowl with vomit.

“Did you keep the positive test?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” he patted his satchel “That’s the only proof we have right now”

“Good” she gave a nod and had to bite back a sad whimper when Spock let go of her hand.

“Alright, see you in the morning. Shall I write a report about Carissa’s health for you?” he joked

“This would be excellent, yes” he nodded at them both then left. Leonard let out a groan

“God, I really hate myself”

-oO0Oo-

Carissa’s head was pulsing when she woke up. Slowly she sat up in her bed and couldn’t remember how she got home.

“Hello, good morning” she heard McCoy’s voice beside her

“McCoy, what are you doing here? Is something wrong with me? Where’s Spock?”

“Oh please, I asked you to call me Leonard yesterday. There is something but before I can tell you I have to ask you what you remember of the party and afterwards. Spock has stuff to do. But first of all, how are you?”

“I’ve got a little headache and am tired. But I guess I’m fine. What I remember? Uh okay… I was at the party with Nicole and Lucie… I didn’t drink too much. And uh… there’s something about a toilet. There was a man in the toilet. Ah wait, I remember that I met you, you picked me up when I was on the floor…err… Spock held me somewhere… Wait, were we in a lab? Damn, I’ve got no idea what else. But since you brought me home I guess that I must have been very drunk or something else happened. That’s why you’re still here. And Spock is not here although it’s his free day. So if there wasn’t a Starfleet emergency, it has to do with whatever happened to me”

“I asked you to tell me what you remember, not playing ‘I’m my boyfriend and conclude everything’. But you are right, there is something I should tell you”

“Wait, I remember something else. I-I kissed someone. Someone I don’t know” she shot up “Fuck. Why did I do that? I’ve never done that, not even at times when I was single and drunk. Wait, is my bra missing?” she felt her chest and a suspicion rose “I-I did something I wouldn’t do although I wasn’t drunk… I can’t remember what has happened and someone I don’t know kissed me… Mc… Leonard did someone give me knockout drugs?” he pursed his lips, then nodded. “Do-do you think he… well?”

“No. He didn’t get that far. Jim has arrived before that and stopped him”

“Oh good” she breathed out in relief, not knowing what she would have done otherwise “And what is Spock doing?”

“He talked to Andrew Wilson, the cadet who… well”

“Is responsible?”

“For the drugging yes. But uh… as it seems it wasn’t his idea”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Someone set him up to this”

“What? Who?”

“A guy named Oliver Moore. Spock has implied that you aren’t exactly on best terms with him”

“Oliver? Oliver wanted this Andrew to do this?” she gasped, clenching her fist.

“As it seems. So Spock is probably at the Academy right now, reporting the whole thing. He said he there will be a hearing today. And you have to come…”

“Oh” she bit back a groan “Did he say when?”

“Not yet. He wanted to wait until you wake up and see in what state you are. Besides, he hasn’t been told before. They wanted to interrogate Andrew first”

“Okay. So will you tell Spock that I’m awake?”

“After I’ve examined you” he said, pulling out some instruments from his satchel. She bit back a groan and allowed him to do his job. Luckily, he seemed happy with the results and put the tools away and took out a communicator instead to inform her boyfriend that she had woken up. Spock told them to come to the Academy in at least three hours because the hearing would start in three and a half hours.”

“Oh okay” she shrugged and got up failing to stifle a yawn “How long did I sleep?”

“I think it was about three thirty in the morning when you went to bed and now it’s almost one o’clock. You do the math, I’m not your boyfriend”

“Nah” she smirked “Uh, would you mind waiting in the kitchen? I guess I’ll take a shower”

“Of course”

-oO0Oo-

When Carissa was ready, they left the flat and got some lunch on the way to the Academy because she hadn’t eaten anything today and she knew that this was gonna be an exhausting day. Spock awaited them in the entrance hall of the Academy and much to Leonard’s dismay he gave them quite a lot information about the hearing on their way to the hearing room. Carissa was very nervous and somehow she would have felt better if the accused wouldn’t be Oliver because she had a feeling that this would end badly.

“And why did they allow Professor Moore to be in the presidency? He definitely will be biased!” she protested.

“I fear there was nothing that I could have done about this. However, as I have already mentioned, I was allowed to officiate as the accuser, should it be requested. Thus you will only need to come forward to give testimony”

“That won’t be long. After all I don’t really remember much that happened. What if they don’t believe us?”

“Come on” Leonard said “You’ve got Jim as witness, we have the positive results of the GHB analysis, Andrew’s confession and Jim even managed to get hold of that bottle that contained the knock-out drug. And I’m sure that we could find many witnesses that can confirm that Oliver Moore doesn’t like you and has tried to harm you before…”

“You’re right” she said with a smile. They arrived at the right room and instantly Carissa was reminded of Jim’s hearing he had almost one and half a year ago. She suddenly realized how easy her life back then had been and she felt like she had been someone else at that time. Since she was heavily involved in the incidents and would probably have to come forward anyway, they took a seat in the first row. Carissa made a mental note to not look back so that she wouldn’t know how many people and more importantly who would be coming. Somehow she felt very embarrassed about this all. Jim arrived and sat down next to the Vulcan before leaning over him to ask Carissa how she was doing “I’m fine. I just hope this will be over soon”

“Likewise” he agreed with a nod.


	10. Process

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of attempted rape

Admiral Foster opened the hearing and called Oliver forward.

“Cadet Moore, you have been accused of inciting Cadet Wilson to add psychoactive drugs to Cadet Wiley’s drink and seduce her afterwards”

“And what would I gain from that?”

“He is right” his uncle said “my nephew is more a direct person. So _if_ he had done anything he would have done it himself.”

“I bet Carissa, sorry, Cadet Wiley, has only made this up because she’s mad at me”

“And why would she be?”

“Because I have been making fun of her several times in the past years. And now she wants revenge” a shocked sound left Carissa’s mouth.

“There is something to that” Moore turned to Admiral Forest “I think it is in Cadet Moore’s interest if we talked to his accuser, Cadet Wiley”

“In point of fact I am the accuser” Spock said as he got up “Given her fragile emotional state, Cadet Wiley has given her consent for me to be her representative today”

“But she’s sitting right here” Oliver said, pointing at her.

“I am aware of that”

“Is that even allowed?” Moore asked bitterly

“As per article 381, paragraph 2 of Federation Law, a victim is entitled to constitute any person of the age of consent as their attorney in fact”

“And why would Carissa want you to be her attorney?”

“This is not relevant but if you are reluctant to believe my statement, Cadet Wiley can confirm that she approves of this representation”

“That will not be necessary. Thank you, Commander” Admiral Foster said “But I would like you to declare how you have come to the conclusion that Cadet Moore is guilty” so Carissa’s boyfriend informed them about the incidents of last night. If she was honest, she didn’t remember much of what he said, especially not what had happened after she left the party.

“And why on Earth would Leonard McCoy contact you in the middle of the night just because one of his friends got drugged?”

“I suggest it would be wiser if you asked him personally” Leonard leaned over to Carissa

“Do you think I should tell the truth?” he asked when he got called up

“Not unless you have another good solution”

“Of course I do” he smirked and got up.

“So you’re asking why I called Spock of all people I know? That’s easy. Carissa couldn’t tell me who the boy who cornered her was and I could not do anything with the description she gave me. So I figured that Spock could know him, after all Wilson must have been his student once and he could actually take a look at him in Carissa’s memory. Besides, I knew that Carissa would have forgotten most of yesterday by the time she woke up so it was better if we had someone else who knew more about the incidents. Someone who has seen them” Admiral Foster nodded and allowed him to sit down again

“You lied to court?”

“Not really. I really thought he was the best solution in that situation. But the main reason I told him is because he’s with you”

“So, Spock” Moore said, crossing his arms “You decided to help an old student of yours because your friend asked you to? Would you dedicate yourself to any other cadet too?”

“Your statement is not entirely correct, Professor. Cadet Wiley is not solely an old student but rather a friend. To answer your second question, I would not aid every cadet, only those who are in the right and have not committed unlawful deeds that are in any connection with the matter”

“Then why would Cadet Wiley choose as her representative?”

“I can only give you my assumptions”

“Then I ask her to come forward that he can ask her in person” Carissa swallowed and got up.

“I uh… must admit I don’t remember much of yesterday and so I can’t say why I wanted him to do this but I think this was the reason. I mean, I must have realized that I would forget most of it so I wanted someone else to do this for me. And well, I had Doctor McCoy and Commander Spock with me so I must have thought that the latter is the better choice. And before you ask, yes Spock has asked me today if I was still fine with him filling in for me and I agreed” Carissa only hoped this was the truth because she had a feeling that she never decided to have Spock represent her in the hearing. She doubted she had been in such a good state to think like that. Unless Spock had known this would happen and asked her himself. In any case, she was sure that this whole thing had been his idea.

“Alright. But if you are already here… I wanted to ask you something” Professor Moore said

“Yes?”

“I have heard that you and my nephew are anything but friends. And we have not seen any proof that traces back to him so I cannot help but wonder if you made this all up to get back at him for something”

“You-you….” she took a deep breath “We have proof that I was under the influence of GHB and the results of the analysis are here, as well as the bottle of beer that contained it. And I know that I didn’t take it willingly because I know that it’s dangerous to mix it with alcohol and yesterday I was drinking. Which means that someone added it in secret. Besides, you know as well as I do that Oliver has been harassing me before. And some months ago he actually threatened to make me pay and he hasn’t really done anything since, so he too has some kind of a motive”

“But you don’t even remember anything” Oliver said “I hope you know what kind of accusations that are”

“Technically, I am your accuser which gives me every right to express them. And I do remember bits and pieces of the party”

“Then you might know that I don’t have any connection to this plot. Yes, I don’t doubt this has happened to you but whoever it was, it wasn’t me. Because if I actually wanted to hurt you I would do it myself”

“Or maybe this is the reason you don’t have any connection to this, because you saw to that by asking someone else to do it, no one could trace it back to you”

“That are only assumptions” Professor Moore said

“For all I know, someone has given testimony that Cadet Moore is behind this” Carissa said

“This is true” another judge agreed “We have questioned Cadet Wilson and he has stated that Cadet Moore has told him to do this”

“Of course he did. He got caught. Everyone would say they were forced” Oliver protested and his uncle agreed

“Besides what would my nephew gain from this?”

“He once told me that I’d pay” Carissa said “Maybe that was his revenge and he didn’t want to get into trouble for this. Actually… I’d like to hear what Andrew Wilson has to say”

“Alright. Cadet Wilson, please come forward. Cadet Wiley, you can sit down again” she nodded and Andrew walked past her

“I’m sorry” he whispered and she saw in his eyes that he either was a very good actor or that it was true.

“Cadet Wilson, please” Admiral Foster said

“So, two days before the party, Oliver Moore approached me and said that I should mix some knock-out drugs into Cadet Wiley’s drink and well… do uhm… you know, to…” he took a deep breath “have sex with her. He told me that no one would know I did it because I was working behind the bar and that the drops would make her submissive and that I wouldn’t hurt her and she’d forget what I did anyway. He only wanted me to take photos and spread them anonymously. Because he didn’t only want to hurt her but he tried to separate her from her boyfriend. He was sure that her boyfriend would never believe her”

“And why would my nephew try to destroy her relationship?”

“I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell”

“Cadet Moore” Admiral Foster spoke “Do you have an issue with Cadet Wiley’s boyfriend?”

“That has nothing to do with it”

“I fear we need to go through everything we hear. Please, answer the question”

“No, I haven’t. I don’t even know who he is”

“See? Why would there be a reason for him to separate them? This makes absolutely no sense”

“If you allow, a criminal deed is never logical or justified as they originate from emotions like hatred or jealousy”

“Well as you have heard, Oliver has said that he does not hate her boyfriend because he does not even know him!”

“For all I know you should be aware that your nephew is ill-disposed towards Cadet Wiley, seeing as it was you who has terminated their controversy on Stardate 2259.63 at 1746 hours”

“Now I know what you’re doing here! You and Wiley are complotting against my nephew because you both have a reason. Cadet Wiley hates him and wants him gone and you, Spock, you want to hurt me by getting back at him”

“As I have mentioned earlier, delinquency derives from negative emotions which I, as a Vulcan, do not feel. Besides, you might know of our aversion to lying, which entails that I would not set up a complot that is based on lies. Furthermore, Cadet Wiley has withstood Cadet Moore’s harassing for three years, nine months and twelve days now and as she has said, he did not stretch a line recently which makes such an action from her side highly illogical”

“And how can you be so specific about the start of the bullying?”

“I am not sure but research studies have prompted that most instances of victimization will have started about after three days from the first contact” he wasn’t that far off. Oliver had indeed started making first comments about her on the fourth day and it got worse quickly.

“Let us come back to the actual matter” Admiral Forest said “I believe I am not the only one who would like to see the results of the drug test so that we at least have seen the proof that these accusations are justified” Leonard nodded and placed the things on the jury’s desk. They took their time to examine it before Foster spoke again. “The results are obviously positive”

“So what? I am sure it was Wilson who did it and now he just tries to save his neck. Because why would he do such a thing just because someone told him to?”

“That is indeed a reasonable question”

“Okay I know everything looks like this was my idea and that I won’t be able to prove anything. On the other hand, Oliver can’t prove his innocence either and he’s got a real motive to hurt her”

“So what? Are we gonna stay here and discuss this forever because we keep blaming one another? Why don’t you just admit you only made this up? Maybe you want to harm me instead” somehow Carissa started to feel bad. A part of her wanted to believe that Oliver was behind it so that he would get punished. On the other hand, she didn’t want him to plot something like that against her just to hurt her.

“They are both right” Professor Moore said “But one thing is for sure. Andrew Wilson has been identified as the one who did it so I believe he should be punished, no matter what. Besides, if my nephew really should have set him up to this I think the punishment should be worse, after all he agreed to rape someone just because someone else wanted her to suffer. That is worse than just wanting some fun in my opinion”

“I first would like to hear Captain James T. Kirk’s testimony before we judge Cadet Wilson” Jim didn’t even wait until he was called up before he got up. “Captain Kirk” Admiral Foster said “Can you describe what you have seen?”

“Sure. I was at the party with Leonard when I met a girl. We got along well so I wanted some time with her alone and took her to the men’s bathroom. Well, in there I saw how Andrew pressed Carissa against one of the loo stalls and kissed her. So I had to step in and pulled her away from him and uh… beat him up a little”

“And why did you do this? Wouldn’t it have been better to find out if Cadet Wiley wanted this?”

“Well I know she has a boyfriend and the guy kissing her definitely wasn’t him”

“What if she decided to cheat on him?”

“Look, I don’t know her too well but I know one thing for sure; she wouldn’t cheat on her boyfriend. So I knew that there was something wrong”

“What if you had been wrong and this was her choice?”

“I don’t know what this has to do with the case….”

“That’s right” Admiral Foster said “Captain, you don’t need to answer the question”

“Good. Is there anything else I can do?”

“Actually, there is” Professor Moore said “I have heard that you were the one who retrieved the contaminated bottle of beer after the party…”

“I did. Once Leonard told me of his assumption I instantly went to Carissa’s friend to get the bottle before she threw it away, just in case we needed it as proof”

“And you just believed Doctor McCoys assumption?”

“He’s one of the best doctors I know, so yes, I trust his judgement”

“Then I would like to ask Doctor McCoy how he came to the conclusion that Cadet Wiley has been put under the influence of GHB” Admiral Foster nodded and Leonard came forward to tell them how he got the suspicion and did some little tests to strengthen it enough that he decided to have her tested. “And you’re saying that Cadet Wiley has had no idea about this?”

“No, not until I told her in the laboratory”

“Have you dealt with a similar case before?”

“With a case where someone was on GHB? No, I have only learned something about its effects”

“Alright, since everyone is throwing around assumptions I will allow myself to do the same” Professor Moore said, leaning forwards “This whole thing smells to high heaven. Cadet Wiley got drugged, yes, there is no doubt about that. But I assume that it has been planned by her and her friends. Why else did James Kirk walk into his friend and Wilson before something happened? Why could the doctor have noticed what was wrong with her so quickly? And they made sure to get proof. I don’t know how Andrew Wiley fits into this but maybe he wanted to harm my nephew as well so he played his role. But that would mean he knew that he was going to be punished, so maybe Carissa’s friend just tried to involve him and told him to seduce her because she was on the search for a sexual adventure….”

“Yes” Oliver said “That makes sense. Besides, there is no trace of Carissa’s boyfriend. If my girlfriend was in that situation I would want to be beside her when she is at the trial. This means, they didn’t want him to know or he didn’t want to show up today. This means he either doesn’t care about her or knew this was fake and that there was no reason to worry about her”

“I see your point but I still see many reasons speaking against it. For example, Commander Spock has told us earlier that he would not participate in any complot or support people who plan something inappropriate”

“Oh that’s easy… they made sure that everything looks real and hoped they could win the Vulcan over. Did he not say he hasn’t seen all of Cadet Wiley’s memories from the party? Yes, because she only wanted to show him the parts where she was acting. I mean, they thought that if Spock is on their side we all would believe them just because Vulcans cannot lie. This would also explain why McCoy called Mr. Spock to come to the laboratory instead of Cadet Wiley’s boyfriend.”

“Which doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have tried to contact him” Leonard said “Maybe I didn’t reach him. Or maybe just wasn’t able to make it here in time? Have you considered that in your idea?”

“Or maybe” Oliver said “You didn’t have to call her boyfriend because she is your girlfriend”

“Oh that was clever of you, you just gave a counterargument to the theory that relieves you…”

“So it’s true? You are her boyfriend?”

“And why does that interest you so much?”

“It does not. But if you are her boyfriend, why would you agree to stage a stunt like that where she actually could get raped?”

“Oh wow, you just weakened the relieving theory even more… I bet if we just continue like this you’ll blab after a while…”

“Doctor McCoy… I would rather know why you support the assumption that my nephew is behind this. For all I know you have only heard that Andrew was the one who cornered your friend. Besides, I just realized that it hasn’t even happened fourteen hours ago… that’s not much and we’re all here… as if they had known that they want to blame my nephew before everything has happened” Spock stepped beside McCoy and explained that he was the one who decided they had to rush things because he knew that the chances to find Andrew yesterday were better than now. And he also explained that he couldn’t notice any signs of a lie when Andrew told him that Oliver set him up to this.

“However, I have detected several of those indications at times when Cadet Moore was speaking today”

“And there we are again… you call my nephew a liar again!”

“Of course I am not feeling well. I am being accused of setting this whole thing up!” Oliver protested.

“To be exact I have never implied that Cadet Moore is lying. I have only expressed…”

“I heard what you said. And let me guess, you were going to say that it was only based on your observation?”

“Indeed, I was”

“And you always think that your observations are correct, don’t you? So you actually have implied that you think he is lying”

“I cannot help but notice that you appear to spare no effort to exonerate your nephew”

“And what’s that supposed to mean? Do you accuse me of knowing of his plan and now I try to cover for him?”

“That is incorrect, I only tried to express that you do not seem to accept any statements against Cadet Moore”

“Of course I don’t. He’s my nephew, I know him. He would never do something like that”

“I take it you are aware of his disagreeable behavior towards Cadet Wiley?”

“Oh but she’s not much nicer to him either and I don’t know her well so it could be that she isn’t averse to setting up such a complot” Carissa didn’t like this at all. Of course she had known it wouldn’t be easy to make the judges believe their assumption without proof. Besides, she wasn’t even so sure if Oliver had set this up and Andrew could have planned this himself or just thought he’d blame when he got caught. Before she really knew it, she got up

“I would like to say something”

“What? Do you admit your complot?” Oliver said, crossing his arms

“No. I uh…”

“Please, if you want to say something step forward” she nodded and followed the request

“Okay, I have decided that this is of absolutely no use. There is no proof against Oliver so it would not be fair to punish him. What if he is innocent? For this reason I want to drop the charge” she felt everyone’s gaze on her. “As for Andrew… it could be that it was his idea but maybe it wasn’t. I still think he should be punished for what he did but maybe not to hard… after all nothing too bad has happened, thanks to my friends”

“Are you sure about this?” Admiral Foster asked and she nodded

“I am”

“In that case…” Admiral Foster said “Everyone except for Cadet Wilson is free to leave while we will discuss his punishment” the judges left the room and for the first time Carissa turned around. Luckily, the room wasn’t that full, not even half of the seats were occupied. However, to her dismay a great part of these people came towards her to ask how she was and what had happened. Not much later Jim and Leonard were beside her and led her outside

“Why did you do this? We almost had him!” Leonard said

“No we didn’t. There was no proof. Besides, I don’t remember much of last night so I don’t really care who is responsible. I know that nothing happened and that counts”

“Yeah but let’s assume it was Oliver… what if he tries to do something like this again?”

“Well maybe he thinks better of me now. I basically saved his ass. Maybe he’ll leave me alone from now on” Jim shrugged

“That might be right. You’re clever” as it seemed, Leonard wasn’t that happy and he tried to explain her that Spock was sure that Oliver was behind it. Then Nicole appeared and hugged her friend

“Oh God, Carissa, I’m so sorry. I had no idea what happened to you yesterday. I just thought you had a bit too much… I should have noticed”

“No it’s okay. You really couldn’t know. Somehow I wish that none of this would have happened. I mean… if Jim had just stopped Wilson and brought me home I would have forgotten about this by now probably and yeah…”

“But do you think it was Oliver?”

“I honestly have no idea… I couldn’t even tell you if it really was Andrew who tried to… well”

“Okay. Are you alright? Because that’s all that counts”

“Yes, I’m fine. Nothing happened”

“What about your boyfriend… I mean… is he not mad at you?”

“Today he assured me that it wasn’t my fault and that he doesn’t blame me for anything”

“What about me?”

“What does that mean?”

“Well I was the one who got your drink... I should have paid more attention. Or maybe you’re mad at me”

“No I’m not. And he isn’t either. At least I guess” she nodded

“If there’s anything I can do…”

“Not really, I just want this thing to be over and be done with it” Spock approached them to inform them that the judges were back and had made their decision.

-oO0Oo-

Carissa was pleased with the punishment Andrew had gotten after all it really was his own fault. Nevertheless, she felt a bit sorry because there was a nagging feeling inside her that told her that maybe he was forced to do this. But she was more than glad that everything was over. After they were outside the room again, her friends gathered around her.

“Can we leave?” she asked, not wanting to be the center of attention. Nicole wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave a nod, starting to lead her towards the exit.

“You know, I think what you did was right”

“I hope so. But somehow I feel sorry for Andrew…”

“Oh Carissa… sometimes I don’t get you at all. You’re too good for this world”

“Oh shut up” she mumbled

“No, I mean it. You’re more than great” once outside, Carissa took a deep breath and Jim and Leonard joined her

“Spock’s coming. I guess he feels responsible to stay until everyone else left”

“That sounds like him” she chuckled. Much to her surprise, Oliver approached them

“Hey, Carissa… can I have a word with you? Just wanted to say thanks”

“Oh, okay sure” she followed him a few feet before he offered her his hand. A bit perplexed she and shook it.

“I really didn’t think you would drop the charge”

“Well, I knew that it wouldn’t lead anywhere and it would have been mean to let you be punished if it you have nothing to do with it. Besides, I don’t really remember much, so I don’t care what happens or who is responsible. After all, nothing too bad has happened”

“Yeah” he smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, leaning closer “I think you should know that your friends were right. It was indeed my idea and I only regret that Andrew got interrupted before the fun part came” she pulled away “Oh yeah, you’re probably mad at yourself for dropping the charge and letting me go free”

“Why?” she asked

“Why what, Wiley?”

“Why did you do this? What have I ever done to you?”

“Poor Carissa, always so innocent and pure” he patted her head with a smirk “There doesn’t need to be a reason, I just like seeing someone suffer and you make a perfect victim”

“That’s sick” she pushed him away a little

“So what? You’re not even trying to do anything do defend yourself. Because you fear it could be against the rules and get you into trouble… or because you fear you hurt someone.”

“That is not true!”

“Prove it. Hit me. I bet you can’t” she shook her head

“Violence isn’t a solution. I only hurt others when I have to defend myself” she puffed her chest “which can happen when you bully me ever again!”

“Oh you’re so scary… you’re right, I should find a new victim” she let out a groan

“Why do I even waste my time with you?” she turned around and wanted to leave when he grabbed her arm

“My promise still stands. I’ll make you pay. And next time, I will succeed”

“Maybe that’s why you’re grades aren’t as good as mine… because you waste your brain with plans on how to hurt other” he pulled her back

“You think you’re so good with words… but how does it look with strength? Meet me behind the gym in three hours. Let’s see how you deal with an actual fight”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? You won’t come alone and take your friends with you”

“Let me put it another way: If you don’t show up, I will go after your friend, Nicole and your boyfriend”

“You don’t even know who my boyfriend is”

“Of course I do. It’s McCoy” she shook her head and grinned

“I really don’t think you’d want to bandy blows with a doctor. They know how to hit you that it hurts”

“I tell you one thing” he let go of her before hitting her square in the face “That hurts like hell too. He’s got no chance” Carissa held her jaw and bit back her tears. Then she turned around and wanted to leave again when she saw Jim and Leonard running towards them

“What the fuck?” Jim shouted at her classmate while his friend stopped in front of Carissa

“Does it hurt?”

“A little”

“I should drag you back into that hearing room and make sure you’re expelled myself!”

“Oh Carissa look, you’ve got yourself a third lover. Do tell… what’s the deal? You spread your legs for them and they protect you? Or do you actually…” he didn’t get further before Jim rammed his knee between his legs. Of course Oliver hit back and soon they were in a fist fight.

“Jim, stop this. Come on, pull yourself together, mate” Leonard shouted, trying to separate them without going in between them. “Just leave him be, he’s not worth it”

“Believe it or not, it makes me feel better. That little asshole deserves it”

“You don’t even know him, Jim”

“What I’ve heard of him is enough to justify that”

“I don’t think anything justifies violence” Carissa said “please just stop and let’s go” but he didn’t listen “Fine, do whatever you want, but I am leaving!” she said and turned around “Come on, Leonard, let’s leave the kids handle it themselves” he looked back at them but then the doctor followed Carissa

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Carrie’s right” she heard Jim’s voice “you’re not worth it”

“But I’m not done with you”

“But we’re done with you” Jim said as he caught up with the others and smirked at Carissa “And once again you proved your talent at diplomacy” she was about to reply when she was tackled to the ground. The breath was knocked out of her lungs. Suddenly the weight on top of her was gone and she saw that Jim and Oliver were on the ground again. Leonard helped her up

“Everything okay?”

“I don’t know…” she held her chest “I feel like I can’t breathe properly”

“That’s probably just the pain. It’ll pass in a minute or two. If not…”

“What then?”

“Your ribs could be bruised”

“Oh damn” she huffed and instantly regretted it “Fuck” she growled, pressing a hand against her chest, which hurt even more “Maybe you’re right…” she mumbled

“What is it?”

“Well uh it hurts when I touch my chest” Leonard muttered a curse

“Come on, I’ll get you to the Academy’s infirmary” he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started taking slow steps back towards the Academy. Carissa saw Spock rushing past them and heard him order Jim and Oliver to stop but to no avail

“Cadet Moore I have to point out that your violent actions towards a Starfleet Officer can be punished with expulsion according to Starfleet Academy regulation number 197”

“Oh yeah?” Oliver shouted “and what happens if I attack two Officers?” there was a thud and Oliver groaned

“I think you friend has learned the lesson ‘Never attack a Vulcan’ the hard way”

“How did you learn it?” Carissa said

“Not at all. I wasn’t so stupid to try”

“Let me guess… Jim did?”

“Well he only provoked Spock and your boyfriend did the rest”

“You’re saying Spock attacked Jim?”

“That was when they weren’t friends. You know, during the mission on Vulcan, shortly before they came to get you”

“So they beat each other up and shortly after they go and sneak onto the enemy ship together?”

“Pretty much” other Starfleet Officers who were in the jury of the hearing came towards them, directly followed by Nicole.

“Cassie, what’s wrong?”

“Probably bruised ribs” she muttered

“What? How?”

“That idiot of Oliver tackled me from behind”

“But else nothing happened to you? I guess I’ve missed a lot after I went to get help”

“So that’s why all the judges are here” Leonard said. Nicole followed them to the infirmary but then Leonard told her to leave that he could examine her.

“And?” Carissa asked when he was done

“Bruised ribs, yeah. I can do something to fix it but it’ll still take a couple of days to fully heal”

“Okay” he nodded and took out the instruments he needed when Spock came in.

“Doctor McCoy, your presence was requested in the hearing room”

“What about me?”

“It would be wiser for you to remain here because one witness will be enough”

“So this means Oliver is officially being accused for attacking Jim?”

“That is correct” she hummed in appreciation

“Serves him right. Before he lost it, he even told me that he actually was behind everything”

“Carissa, as much as I would like to talk to you now, the doctor and I need to attend the hearing”

“Oh, okay” she gave a small nod.

“Can you give me five minutes? I’d like to help her first” Leonard asked. Spock agreed

“We will be awaiting you in exactly five minutes”

Damned Vulcans and their punctuality” he groaned as he got to work

“I hope you do know he would have dragged you with him if this had been about anything else?”

“Yeah, I do”

-oO0Oo-

Before McCoy left he told her that she probably shouldn’t travel home tomorrow but wait until it was Monday. So she had to inform her parents which she wanted to do while she was alone because she knew this would be anything but comfortable.

“You can’t come because you what?”

“As I said, I fell and I bruised my ribs. But I’m fine, Leonard has healed most of it, I just should use today to relax”

“But how can you fall like this? Were you drunk?”

“No, I wasn’t drunk. What do you ask me? You know how clumsy I am, I tripped, I landed on the floor and my chest hurt. Luckily McCoy was around so he took me to the Med Bay to examine me and then he helped me”

“But you were at that party yesterday, weren’t you?”

“Yes I was but I didn’t drink much. I wasn’t even drunk yesterday, so I can’t be drunk today”

“Alright. And when are you coming home?”

“I don’t know. I need to look when I have a train tomorrow and I guess I’ll take that one”

“And when will it be arriving?”

“What do I know? I’ll tell you when I looked it up” she sighed.

“What about your luggage? You shouldn’t carry it to the train station yourself”

“Mum I won’t walk there”

“It still isn’t a good idea. Take that boyfriend of yours with you, make him carry your stuff. I mean he will come to see you off, won’t he?”

“He’s very focused on work and duty so I don’t know if he can come. He has to work”

“He’s officer on a ship… A ship that isn’t even able to fly now. What could he possibly work?”

“Well, he is helping to repair it”

“I’m sure they won’t miss him there. They can manage some hours without him”

“Okay, I’ll ask”

“Don’t just ask. Make him do it. Make a scene, pretend you’re in immense pain”

“God, Mum you’re impossible. Besides, I don’t think he’d fall for the pity tour” she heard her father say something in the background

“She can’t hear you, Henry, you need to speak louder.

“What did he say?”

“He said you should tell your boyfriend that it would be logical if he carries your stuff when you’re injured” she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’ll see what I can do”

“Good. And as soon as you know when you’re coming you need to tell us so that we can pick you up at the train station”

“Okay, I will” she said, suppressing a sigh

“Besides, how did your exams go? Did you pass them all?”

“They went quite good. But I didn’t get the results yet”

“When will you get them?”

“I don’t know. Next week maybe”

“Last year you knew some of them when you came home”

“Yeah well this isn’t last year. I’ll get them. Then we can have a look at them together if you want” her mother agreed

“What would you like to eat when you come home?”

“Uhh… I don’t know. Why don’t you surprise me?” again her father said something

“She said, we can surprise her because she doesn’t know…” again she heard her father “Carissa, are you on medicaments that affect your brain?”

“What? No”

“No, she said she isn’t”

“Uh Mum, why don’t you join Dad and put me on speaker so he can talk to me too”

“He is reading his news”

“Oh okay” she remembered too well how her father could be when he wanted to read the news in silence. When she was younger, she always wanted to play with him but he only sent her away. “And what are you doing, Mum?”

“I was just trying to fix our cleaning robot. Didn’t you have engineering class? Can’t you do something when you come home?”

“Well we’re working on spaceships. I doubt it’s the same as our robot”

“You can still have a look at it”

“Why don’t you ask Mr Tanner? I’m sure he’d look at it if you invite him over for dinner”

“He is on holiday with his family”

“Oh” she heard someone coming back “Mum, would you mind if we talk later? The doctor is back and I’m sure he wants to talk to me. We can talk later, when I’m home”

“What? They’re allowing you to go home already?”

“Yes, they do. As I said, Leonard was able to heal most of it so I’m almost fine. I just need to go easy on my body in the next days”

“Hello there” she heard the doctor’s voice

“Is this the doctor?”

“Yes, it’s him”

“I want to talk to him” Carissa sighed

“Leonard, my Mum wants to talk about you. She isn’t too happy about me being allowed to go home just yet” she said when she handed him the communicator.

“Good afternoon, Mrs Wiley, this is Doctor Leonard McCoy”

“Our daughter has broken ribs. How can you send her back home today?”

“Actually, her ribs are only bruised. It would have gotten better even if I had done nothing but I could heal most of it. She will just need to be careful in the following days and she’ll be like new. And if you want, I can keep her here over the night to make sure she’s okay”

“Yes, that would be better. Will she be able to travel tomorrow?”

“I suppose so, yes. Unless she doesn’t feel well enough. But I’m sure she would inform you in that case”

“But doesn’t the train ride harm her injury?”

“If it would I wouldn’t allow her to go by train. Besides, train is much more comfortable for her than the bus or space travel”

“Ah yes that makes sense”

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs Wiley?”

“Make sure she stays in bed. She is a real dickhead sometimes” Carissa rolled her eyes

“Of course, I will. Would you like to talk to your daughter again?”

“Yes, I have to say goodbye” he gave her back the communicator and after a last lecture from her mother she said goodbye and ended the call

“God. My parents can be tedious”

“I know. Just be lucky they weren’t here in person” she buried her face in her hands

“Oh God yes, you’re right…” she groaned.

“Good, I hope you don’t mind I lied to your parents”

“Lied?”

“I’m not gonna keep you here overnight. It makes no sense. Besides, you won’t be alone during the night and as I know Spock, he will not waste a second to wake me if he notices anything suspicious about your condition” she chuckled

“Probably. So uhm… how did the hearing go?”


	11. Familiarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: implied past dub-con.

“Quite well. Oliver’s expelled for what he did”

“Really? That’s great” she beamed “Now he won’t bother me again”

“Besides, it’s not technically your fault because the accuse was ‘attack on two Starfleet Officers’”

“That’s good. Then his buddies will leave me alone. They’re a bit daft and probably won’t figure out that it’s my fault. At least I hope so. What about Jim?”

“Oh, he got suspended for two weeks. But since we can’t really do anything but repair the ship at the moment he’s okay with it. He thinks of it as a holiday”

“That’s good to hear. What about Spock?”

“He got praise for ‘role-modelling and ending a fight’, what else?”

“But-but he knocked Oliver down”

“No, he didn’t. When Oliver lunged at him, he merely stepped aside so that the idiot fell himself. He didn’t even touch him. Of course Oliver tried to claim that wasn’t the case and that Spock beat him… but there were too many witnesses who have watched the fight so you can imagine where that went…”

“And you? What about you?”

“Well, I only was a witness because I was not involved in the fight at all. I also confirmed that you actually got bruised ribs thanks to Oliver” she nodded “Before I forget it; Spock has said he will come once he is finished to bring you home”

“Okay” to her surprise, her boyfriend came earlier than she thought. McCoy excused himself and said he would go home

“Please, just turn off the lights and lock the door when you leave. I take it you’ll manage that, Spock?”

“Don’t we need to clean up first?”

“No. I put everything I needed away, besides they will need to clean everything anyway before the semester starts”

“Okay” she nodded

“Well then, I’ll be gone. Have fun you two and good holidays to you. See you and get well soon”

“Thank you. And thank you for everything you did for me in the past hours. It means a lot to me”

“Of course. I saved your life, now I’m responsible for you” she rolled her eyes and watched as he left. Shortly after the door was closed, Spock placed his hand on hers

“And thank you too” she said, covering and squeezing his hand.

“You are welcome”

“I’m sorry that I dropped the accuse in the first hearing. I just didn’t feel well at all… and I thought that we’d never get to an end if it continued like this. Besides, you were right. It was indeed Oliver who was behind this. He admitted it before he attacked Jim”

“I was aware of the truth”

“Then aren’t you… angry I well… ruined the chance to have Oliver punished before he did something else?”

“I do not blame you for any of the incidents that have happened and I was aware of your uncomfortableness during the initial hearing. You are right with the assumption that a continuation of it would not have been prosperous”

“Yeah. And in the end we got Oliver punished anyway… not that I’d want to be gleeful but I’m glad that he will be gone”

“This is indeed fortunate since the possibility that he would have concocted a new plan against you amounts to 94.27 percent”

“Make it a hundred. Because he ‘promised’ me to make me pay. Actually, he wanted me to meet him later today. And… he threatened to hurt someone else if I didn’t show up. Fuck. What am I gonna do? What if he makes his threat come true? He would go after Nicole and Leonard”

“I doubt that Cadet Moore will have the time to find either of them until his departure tomorrow”

“So he will be gone by then?” he agreed “But what if he tells his friends to make his threat come true and go after Nicole anyway when the new year begins?”

“There is nothing we can do to prevent this”

“Well there is a way… I could do what he wants”

“This option is beyond all question”

“What else can we do? I can’t let him hurt my friends because of me!”

“Carissa, even if you comply with his request you have no guarantee that he will not harm your friends. In fact, the chance that…”

“I don’t want to hear your number! What would you do in my situation? I know you would go there too! Besides, if I let him have his will, I can make him promise that he will leave my friends alone”

“Unfortunately, that contract would be invalid according to paragraph 18 of contract law”

“And why is that? What does it say?”

“That any contract which content is impossible, unlawful or immoral is invalid. Thus, he would be officially allowed to rescind from it”

“Spock, I don’t think he knows about that law…”

“Which does not mean he would not exercise his right.” he grabbed her shoulders “Carissa, please try to understand that your appearance would not change anything”

“I know this is silly, stupid and illogical. But if there is any chance that he’s satisfied after he… well… it’s worth it”

“Carissa, I have given you my word to not inhibit you from making your own decisions and would only offer you advice but if you insist to go ahead with your plan, you will leave me no choice but to break this promise. Which again would mean you would have to end our relationship as this was one of the conditions that you agreed to a reunion”

“You-you’d rather I break up with you than doing what he wants?”

“Neither of the options is favorable but I would indeed prefer the first one” she took a deep breath (as deep as her injury allowed without pain) and nodded

“Okay” she said “I know you well enough to know that you’d actually stop me if you have to… So I wouldn’t even have a chance against you… you won. I won’t go but I want to warn Nicole and Leonard. Just in case he makes his threat come true. Maybe we should inform someone from the Academy as well…” he gave a nod as well

“Then I will caution Doctor McCoy and see to it that the personnel of the Academy is informed while you can warn your friend”

“Okay. Thanks” he let go of her

“I think it would be better if I found another place to spend the night and I will organize you another accommodation for when you return from your vacation”

“Why that?” she felt her heart bumping painfully fast. Did he want to throw her out?

“Seeing as I broke my promise, you will have no choice but to end our relationship” she was silent for a while as she tried to process his words. Then she almost felt like laughing.

“Oh Spock” she sighed, sitting up and cupping his face “I’m not gonna break up with you. Technically, you didn’t even break your promise, you only said you would do it and in the end it was my decision not to go. Besides, I didn’t mean it literally. I wouldn’t break up with you just because you’re not accepting my decision once… but if you kept doing this and started to limit my freedom I would eventually finish with you… which doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you right now” she bit her lip “Okay, no I don’t think I am mad at you but I should be” she hit his chest “I just can’t really be mad at you. I hate you for this” he only raised an eyebrow

“I am relieved to hear that but your last statement is inconsistent as you cannot not feel anger towards me and hate me at the same time”

“And this is exactly why I can’t hate you for long” she sighed as she buried her face in his chest.

“Is there anything I could do to eradicate your emotional conflict?”

“Oh no” she hummed “If you want to earn my forgiveness you can strain your brain a little”

“Would you consider a kiss an appropriate apology?”

“Depends on what kind of kiss…” he lifted her face and captured her lips in a sweet kiss. When they parted she nodded “Apology accepted”

-oO0Oo-

Somehow Carissa had the feeling that her chest hurt even more in the morning as she got up. Her boyfriend was already up and was preparing breakfast.

“Good morning, Carissa. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly? Like a bloody starship used my chest as landing place”

“Your comparison does not make any sense since starships are not meant to land on the ground”

“Fine like a shuttlecraft landed on me. Happy?” he placed a plate in front of her

“It was not my intention to anger you, please forgive me if I did so”

“No it’s fine… I’m just tired. Why couldn’t there be a train that leaves later?”

“If you had used the last evening for packing, you could have slept longer”

“It was our last evening together… I didn’t want to waste it with packing” she huffed. After breakfast, Spock helped her pack, probably because he didn’t want her to strain herself. As he had promised her the previous day, he then brought her to the train station to see her off. She felt strange to know that he wouldn’t be around for a longer time, after all she had gotten used to seeing him every day. Or almost every day. They reached the platform and Carissa fumbled with the hem of her shirt. “That means goodbye, I guess?” she sighed and hugged him, ignoring the painful pressure on her ribs. He only placed his hands on her back and she didn’t know if it was because he didn’t want to hurt her or because he wasn’t comfortable to show affection in public. But he did something, that was everything that counted for her “I’ll miss you” she mumbled

“I must admit it will be unaccustomed to have my apartment to myself”

“You’ll just miss my help, admit it”

“That is not true” she chuckled

“Nice to know” she pulled away a little and pecked his cheek.

“Will you promise me to take care?”

“Okay. There’s not much I can do anyway… everyone I know and want to see seems to have left for holiday… So the most dangerous thing that can happen is that I get bored to death. As for you… make sure no one tries to… I don’t know, take over earth or something”

“The possibility that his would happen in that time frame is below 6.7 percent” she giggled

“Good” to her surprise, he pecked her cheek before he helped her mount the train and lifted her suitcase and Blacky’s transport cage into the train as well. She dragged her stuff into the inside of the train to get a seat. Biting her lip she stared at the storage space above her head and doubted that she could bring her stuff up there. But she couldn’t leave in in the aisle either or place it on the seat next to her. Luckily, she got help from a middle-aged man before she got completely desperate. “I’m sorry” she said. “I could have lifted it myself but I shouldn’t… I uh… bruised my ribs”

“I hope you get better soon then”

“Thanks” she smiled and sat down, tucking her tomcat under her thin jacket that he couldn’t run away. “Guess what, Blacky? We’re going home” the animal let out a meow “Yes I know you’ll miss Spock, I will miss him too” she looked out of the window but as it seemed, he must have already left. He probably didn’t want to be even later for work than he already was. After all he was in charge now that Jim got suspended. The train started moving and Carissa pulled out her PADD to watch a movie.

-oO0Oo-

Her mother was awaiting her at the train station when she arrived and took her into a bone crushing hug.

“Ugh… Mum, my ribs” she panted, trying her best to avoid any contact

“Oh I’m sorry, honey. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. The journey was good”

“Did you have lunch?”

“Of course I did”

“Something from the train? I do believe those food synthesizers are older than the Federation itself…”

“No, actually I got something from a little store at the train station before I got onto the train”

“Oh that’s good. Let’s get you home them” she took Carissa’s suitcase and her rucksack so that she only carried Blacky in her arms and his transportation box.

-oO0Oo-

Somehow she felt strange about being back home. Although some things had changed, it still was like she remembered it. Just her room was just as she had left it a year ago, the only change was that her sheets had been changed. She decided to unpack her things before her father came home. Once he did, they had dinner together and Carissa was asked about her plans for the following weeks

“I guess I’ll just stay around here quite a lot”

“You know, Stoltenborg moved away”

“Oh did he?” she asked, internally feeling glad that the old neighbor wouldn’t be around anymore

“Yes, instead a young couple moved there. They’re your age. Maybe you can meet them once?”

“Hm I’ll see” she wasn’t too happy to go out and meet new people. At least not if she had to befriend them. If it were people of other background she would find it interesting to learn more about them.

“I could invite them over for lunch this week?”

“Maybe?” she said with a shrug “Speaking of lunch… I could help in the restaurant a bit sometimes”

“But you don’t have to, honey. This are your holidays”

“I know… but otherwise I’ll get bored”

“We’ll see”

-oO0Oo-

Her mother still invited the couple that now lived nearby over for lunch one day and although Carissa liked them, she knew that they’d never be friends. She spent most of her days in her bed, reading or watching something or tried to teach Blacky some stupid tricks. At times she also called her friends and Jessica, her best friend from high school, said she would be back from Egypt a couple of days before Carissa had to leave. Which meant, she only had to dawdle away another couple of weeks.

One afternoon, Carissa sat on her chair at the kitchen table with her knees tucked up and she tried to make Blacky move who had curled up on the chair beside her by tickling his whiskers with his cat toy. His nose twitched comically making her giggle.

“Oh Carissa, leave that poor animal alone”

“What? If he was annoyed he would be long gone. I’m just trying to stimulate him that he plays with me” as it seemed he must have decided that this was enough and he jumped of the chair, arched his back then dashed away. “Oh man” she huffed and dropped the stick with the toy on the chair he had been on “Now I’m alone again”

“As I said, you could go and see Melissa and Zane”

“You told me that over twenty times. And I told you every time that I don’t really like them enough to become friends with them”

“I didn’t say anything about becoming friends. Just spend time with them. Oh or you know what? I’ll ask if Chester has time”

“Chester?”

“Your best friend from day nursery”

“What? I was three at that time. We’ve last seen each other over eighteen years ago”

“Yes, but his mother and I are still friends. And he moved back to town a couple of months ago”

“Okay, Mum… I appreciate your help but you don’t need to try and make me meet all kinds of people I’ve known as a child or that are twice my age… I really am fine being here”

“Why don’t you go to town and have some fun? Alone? Go get an ice cream”

“I’ve had ice cream four times in the past two weeks”

“It can’t hurt to have one more” she ruffled her hair, making her sigh. The doorbell rang and Carissa got up as well, grabbing her shoes “What are you doing?” her mother asked

“Getting an ice cream as you said”

“Wearing that?” she said, eying her tank top and hot pants critically

“Mum, come on, it’s 96 degrees. Just a wacko would go out with more clothes on” she said as she put on her shoes “Well uh, I’m gonna take the back exit. Your visitor won’t like it if I just push past them” she waved her mother goodbye and tried to leave the corridor before her mother opened the door.

“Oh. Carissa come here, it’s for you” she stopped dead in her tracks.

“For me?” she squeezed her eyes. Of course, her mother must have called some old friend of hers anyway to make her spend time with someone. Suppressing a sigh she turned around, already trying to find an excuse to get away quickly, then she recognized her visitor and her jaw almost dropped. “Spock?! What are you doing here?” she shrieked, sprinting towards him and throwing herself round his neck.

“The Captain has urged me to take a holiday and after 26 hours I did not know how to spend these days, thus I have decided to visit you” she smiled and pressed herself closer to him

“You’ve got no idea how happy this makes me” he didn’t reply and leaned his head onto hers for a while, until she pulled away and let go of him. Instantly, her mother was there too and tried to shake his hand again, then failed at another attempt of the Vulcan greeting.

“It’s nice to see you. Carissa, why don’t you show him the house and the guestroom?”

“That will not be necessary I will reside in a hotel during my stay”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re staying with us”

“In other words, you have no choice. Because there’s only a hostel nearby, not a hotel. We really live in the back of beyond” Carissa translated

“I do not wish to cause you inconvenience”

“Of course not! I’ll just go and put clean sheets on the bed. Or wait, Carissa, maybe he wants to choose the sheets I’m sure he’ll like the galaxy ones” she rolled her eyes

“Mum, I have the galaxy ones at the moment....” she looked at her boyfriend “Alright, let’s go, then you can put your things there”

“I’ll be in the kitchen” Rachel said and Carissa knew that she’d be preparing something to eat. She took off her shoes and dropped them next to the shoe rack before she led Spock to the guestroom.

“Okay, you can put your things into the dresser over there. It’s just, the drawer at the bottom is already full with board games and some of my old toys. I’m gonna get you some sheets. We’ve got: dinosaurs, flowers, palm trees, red and yellow stripes, a lion or letters. Oh or a plain purple one. Or I can go and see what my parents have”

“I would like the banded one” Carissa nodded

“I’ll go get them, you can unpack your things in the meantime. You can come to my room next door when you’re done. Then I’ll put the sheets on.” she placed a hand on his arm, then left to get the sheets from the storage room. Then she went to her own room, not wanting to disturb her boyfriend. Besides, she had to tidy up her room a little. She chuckled because she had wanted to do this days ago. At least she now had a reason to do so. But she didn’t really pay attention where she put the stuff, as long as it wasn’t visible. So, she pulled out the drawer from under her bed and tried to stuff her clothes in there when she saw something shiny under her bed. Wanting to know what it was, she tried to crawl under the bed but to no avail. That was when she decided she had to move the bed and braced herself against it and tried to push. It didn’t budge and she kicked the frame, regretting it when a piercing pain shot through her whole body and she cried out. She held her toes, bouncing around in pain. As always, it got worse and she stumbled over the drawer she had pulled out and fell right into it. “What luck that I’m lazy” she mumbled, being thankful that she had stuffed her clothes into it earlier.

“Carissa?” she heard her mother shout “Everything okay up there?”

“Yes Mum” she cried when Spock entered the room. She was sure to have seen a slight flash of amusement on his face when he saw her lying in the drawer

“How did this situation come to be?”

“Well first I was only tidying up my room, then I saw something under my bed that arose my interest and I tried to get it. When it didn’t work I kicked against the bed and in my pain I stumbled over the drawer and fell into it” she said as she got up, rubbing her ass.

“What is it that you have spotted beneath your bed?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t know.” This time she leaned her back against the bed and tried to push with her legs. Spock appeared beside her and placed a hand on her arm, gently nudging her to get up. With two swift movements he had pushed the bed away enough that Carissa could retrieve the object which she recognized as her old pocket telescope. “Oh there it is. I must have kicked it under the bed when I packed for the Academy” she remembered how she wanted to take to the Academy in her first year but suddenly couldn’t find it anymore.

“What are you two doing up there? I hope you’re not trying to move both beds in one room!”

“Of course not Mum” she shrieked and let out a groan. When she looked back at Spock she grinned a little. “You should have heard her when I told her that I stay at your place at the moment… she gave me a very embarrassing talk” she sighed and took another look at her telescope, wiping dust off it. “I thought I had lost it” she mumbled and grinned when memories came up. “When they gave me this telescope for Christmas when I was ten, I spent hours watching the sky and doodling star charts. And sometimes I invented stories about my adventures in space… I guess I saved half the universe and the inhabitants of the planets made me their queen. Or I was abducted and the boy I had a crush on at the time would save me and then tell me that he loved me and all...” she chuckled “I think I’ve got the booklet with the stories I wrote down somewhere” she placed the telescope on her table and went to her shelf. “Oh or are you done? Shall I put on the new sheets?”

“No, I did not finish and I am capable of changing the bedding on my own”

“Oh okay. If you need my help, you’ll know where you find me”

“I appreciate your offer for help but I am certain that it will not come to that” she nodded and tried to pull her bed back in place. Spock showed her to step aside again and pulled the bed back with one hand before he left

“Showoff” Carissa muttered, failing to stifle a grin.

-oO0Oo-

Once her boyfriend had unpacked everything Carissa told him of his plan to go to town to have an ice cream.

“But if you want to do anything else, we can do that too. Unfortunately, there isn’t much to see here… I could show you around a little but it’s too hot to do a lot”

“I believe that getting an overview of the town would be the best option”

“So sightseeing?” he agreed.

“Great, let’s go. I mean, you can get changed and then we leave”

“There will be no need for me to change my clothes” she stared at his dark long-sleeved shirt and long trousers

“Err okay…” she said with a shrug. “Let’s go”

“Where are you going?” her mother asked when they came downstairs

“I’ll show him around in town…”

“Oh that’s nice. Do you need a map?”

“Mum, I grew up here. I certainly don’t need a map!” she sighed and put on her shoes again. Her mother appeared in the corridor and handed each of them some water

“Don’t forget to drink out there. It’s hot” Carissa rolled her eyes

“Thanks Mum” she said

“I’ll get you a bag” with that, Rachel left again and returned with a handbag which she handed to her daughter

“Thanks” she quickly left the house and placed the handbag behind a bush “Let’s leave that stuff here, there are water fountains in town. We won’t die of thirst and I don’t want to carry that around” she explained and Spock handed her his water bottle

“It would be wiser if you took something with you. Due to perspiration you will lose up to 23.255 percent of your…”

“Okay, I get it, Mum” she opened the bottle and drank all of it before tossing it to the bag. “There, can we go now? I filled my water reservoirs” Spock raised an eyebrow but nodded.

-oO0Oo-

After a short tour through her hometown, Carissa needed something to cool down (and use the toilet) so she more or less dragged the Vulcan to the ice cream parlor. He didn’t seem too happy with her choice and only ordered something to drink.

“Are you sure you don’t want any of my ice cream?” she asked, waving it in front of his face

“I have already assured you that I do not want to taste it”

“Okay. More for me then” she replied and suddenly got an idea and pressed the ice cream in his face. When she saw his mien she almost fell off her chair from laughter

“How can your immature behavior be that amusing to you?” he replied

“It’s not just what I did… did you see your face?” when she tried to lick at her food again, one scoop fell down into her lap, making her shriek.

“I am quite certain that this was a demonstration of the Indian concept called Karma”

“Oh just shut up or I’ll drop the rest of my ice cream on you” she huffed as she got up to find napkins.

“Hey uh, can I help you?” she looked up and almost jumped back in shock when she recognized the guy as Finn, her ex.

“No, I’m fine”

“You missed something, right there” he took a napkin himself and tried to wipe away some of the mess on her shorts.

“Get your paws off me” she barked, taking a step back

“I was only trying to help”

“Yeah and hoped you could have a grope”

“That’s not true”

“This is what it’s always been”

“You said it. Has been. I changed”

“God, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I realized I was an idiot and that I would like to try it again”

“Sorry, I got someone else”

“Bullshit. You’re only saying that because you don’t want me to prove that I changed”

“No, I am saying this because I have a boyfriend and he’s only sitting a few feet away”

“But-but you can’t do that”

“What? I broke up with you, so I can date whoever I like. Now, if you’d excuse me, I’m going back to my _boyfriend_.” she tried to leave, not caring about her mess anymore. But Finn grabbed her wrist.

“Wait. I-I admit, this meeting wasn’t as I have imagined it… but I’m sure if we went out together and talked a bit…”

“Whoa” she broke away from him “I’m not going out with you”

“Why not?”

“First of all, I am dating someone else. Secondly, even if I didn’t I wouldn’t want to spend time with you. You don’t seem to understand what you did to me!”

“But you don’t have to tell him”

“No, as I said I don’t want to spend time with you”

“But I changed”

“I hope you did. You can prove that to someone else. Look, the waitress over there. Why don’t you go and flirt with her?”

“She won’t know that I changed. And I don’t love her I love you”

“Hard luck. I don’t”

“The feelings will come back”

“Ah wait, now that you said it… I think I feel something for you…”

“Really?”

“Embarrassment, hatred and annoyance” she hissed. Finn chuckled

“I’ve always liked your sense of humor”

“Bad thing I was serious”

“Carissa” he placed his hands on her shoulders “all I am asking you for is a second chance”

“Finn look, I have already told you that I have a new boyfriend now, and even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t want you back. You hurt me and you don’t even care”

“What has he that I don’t have?” she had a look at the time

“I think the shop will close before I’m done…”

“Carissa, I know I behaved stupidly and I wanted things you weren’t ready for but that’s over. Besides, this time it won’t be that special anymore because you’re not a virgin anymore”

“And how is that a sign for me being ready or willing to… do you even hear yourself talking? That makes no sense. God, why do I only realize now how stupid you actually are?” she groaned and felt tears burning in her eyes. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it

“Please. I can make you happy” she tried to free her hand

“Finn, I am not interested. Just leave me alone”

“Can I come and visit you?”

“No!”

“How else can I reach you?”

“Not at all. I’ve made myself clear when I told you that I don’t want to hear from you again”

“But that was ages ago” he brought her hand to his lips and she was quick to pull it away

“What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed crossing her arms.

“I told you that I changed”

“Changed? That you’re not pushy anymore? You’re trying to persuade me to get back together with you and you touch me without asking first? No I even told you to stop and yet you continued. I’m having a flashback”

“But it has never bothered you before”

“It did and I told you but you didn’t care. That is why I broke up with you”

“I do believe that she has made her request to be left alone quite plain” she heard Spock’s voice behind her

“What do you care? Who are you even? No, what are you?”

“Finn, this is my boyfriend”

“What? That cannot be… you left me… for that?”

“Excuse me but I left you for being an asshole. I just was lucky enough to meet Spock later on” she glanced back at him, realizing that he had cleaned up his face completely.

“What happened to his ears? Why don’t they look normal?”

“He’s Vulcan”

“Vulcan? But isn’t that a burning mountain?”

“Okay, first of all, that is called a volcano. Secondly, it’s not burning, it is just... well filled with lava, which isn’t quite correct but I doubt you’d comprehend if I tried to explain it anyway”

“But what…? I mean just look at him. That is… you know… Where and how did that happen?”

“I apologize but speaking rate as well as the incomplete and incoherent sentences have made it impossible for me to conceive the content of your inquiry”

“What?” Finn’s jaw dropped open

“He asked ‘what?’” Carissa translated “But we won’t answer your question because this is none of your concern” She turned back to Spock. “Come on, let’s go”

“I really don’t see what he has that I don’t… except for weird ears”

“Finn, we had that”

"Yes and you didn't answer my question"

"This conversation is ridiculous!" she sighed. "Just leave us alone" Finn crossed his arms

"Oh yeah? Is it though?" he turned to her boyfriend "Listen, I don't know who or what you are but stay away from her. She deserves better than you"

"Oh someone like you maybe?" she taunted

"Yes" he glared at the other male

"It is not my intention to leave Carissa unless it is her wish"

"There you go. Piss off" she made a shooing hand movement. Her ex made no move

"So you want to sort this out the hard way?"

"Okay, you're stupid" Carissa hissed "Besides, I doubt my boyfriend as that daft to use violence because of me, which is one point why he's better"

"Since when do you speak for him?" he glanced past her at the Vulcan "What do you say?"

"I agree with my girlfriend. The use of violence is highly illogical and unnecessary in this situation"

"What else are we gonna do to establish the matter?"

"You could just shut up and leave. That would be clever and nice of you. But come to think of it… you're neither so I guess you'll stay" she sighed "How else can I make it plainer to you that I'm absolutely not interested?"

"I know that you will change your mind. What do you even know about your 'boyfriend?' Maybe their culture is different and you two are long married and you don't even know"

"I doubt that. Besides, I would have nothing against marrying him right now just that you piss off" he shook his head

"I don't believe it. But have it your way then. One day you'll wish you had left him before"

"The only thing I wish is that I had left you earlier. Or never dated you manipulative prick at all"

"That doesn't change anything" again he turned to Spock "Just that you know. She's not a virgin anymore"

"Oh wow, congratulations. Of course that will be the thing that makes him break up" 

"Maybe that is something special in his culture and he can't have you anymore"

"Your assumption is wrong"

"There you go" this time she had enough and grabbed Spock's wrist "Now let's go"

"This talk isn't over yet!"

"Fine, then continue it as a monologue because we're going. We've got better stuff to do" outside the parlor she sighed in relief "Sorry, I told you about him…. But he wasn't that crazy at the time we’ve been together. At the end maybe, when I realized how stupid he actually is."

"Is he hoping for another try at your relationship?"

"Unfortunately" he said nothing more "Okay, let's forget this. I don’t want to think of him. What else would you like to do?"

-oO0Oo-

Once they were home, the Vulcan announced that he wanted to meditate in the guestroom.

"Okay, I'll tell Mum to be quiet" she pecked his cheek and left "I think you should wait a little before you start because she might come up to offer you her yoga mat or whatever…" she chuckled and closed the door.

"So, how was your date?"

"It wasn't a date, we just went to town together and had an ice cream. Well I did. Uh, Mum, he said he'd like to meditate now. Which means he wants silence. Can you please be quiet a little?"

"Of course. Do you think he'll want some candles? I still got scented ones" she hurried away, probably to get them

"No, Mum, as I said he only wants some peace. Just stay downstairs and relax a little"

"Or I could go and join him. I've learned some relaxing techniques in my yoga class"

"Mum no, this is important to him. And he wants to do it alone because it’s very private. Please, just promise me to stay downstairs. I'll help you clean something if you want" she smiled at her daughter

"If it means this much to the both of you I respect his wish" she took a seat on the couch "I'll just be here and read"

"Thanks, Mum. I think I'll join you and put a note at the door for Dad that he knows when he comes home. Or maybe I'll wait outside because otherwise he'll shout through the whole house why he should be quiet…" she corrected.

"Do you think he'll need that long to meditate?"

"It depends. He usually only does that when he had to deal with emotions or if he's under stress"

"Did something happen?"

"We ran into Finn and the taunted both of us a little. I guess that was it" she replied. "And yes, it can happen that he will be occupied for a couple of hours. It happened when I was at the Academy once. Because usually he tells me that he wants to meditate that day before I leave so I can just stay in the library and do homework that I don’t disturb him. But one day he just didn't write me that he was done… finally I fell asleep in the library and woke up way past midnight and by then the Academy doors were locked and I had to sleep on the floor of a classroom. In the end, Spock told me that he was worried about me when I didn't return and after that day he didn't meditate that long anymore or said that I could just come home when I wanted" her mother nodded

"Alright then" they both sat down on the couch and Carissa took out her private PADD, seeing that Nicole had tried to contact her. She wrote her a message, saying that she couldn't talk to her now because she had stuff to do. In reality, she just couldn't talk to her in peace. Unless she went outside, which she would do anyway before her father returned. If Spock was finished before, she still could go to her room to talk to her friend.


	12. Epiphany

In the end, she had to sit outside anyway to head her father off before he entered the house. Nicole answered her call instantly.

"Hey there. You done with your work?"

"Yup. What's up?"

"I'm bored"

"Yeah, I was too"

"And then your mother decided to make you help?"

"Not really…"

"Wait, are you outside?"

"Yeah"

"Why that? How can you do that? It must be hundred degrees at your place"

"Actually only 95.7 according to my PADD"

"That's still too hot. What are you doing outside? Fled from your Mom and the household?"

"Nah. I'm waiting for Dad"

"Did you lose your key?"

"No"

"Why are you outside then?"

"Because I need to tell him that he has to be quiet when he comes in"

"And the reason for that?"

"We have a visitor"

"Oh okay. But why would he need to be quiet. Is that visitor a baby or sleeping?"

"Nope" she grinned "He's meditating"

"Oh wow. Who even does that?" her grin got broader

"Can't you think of anyone?"

"No. No way. Don't tell me your visitor is Spock"

"Exactly"

"But what is he doing there?"

"Oh Jim forced him to take a few days off and from what he told me I concluded that he must have gotten bored, so he decided to come and spend time with me"

"Ah” she laughed “a bored Vulcan. That's nice of him. Oh did I disturb you when I called?"

"No, we just were in town at that time. No need to worry"

"Phew. When did he arrive?"

"Some hours ago. That's why I need to tell Dad so desperately because otherwise I could have just made a note at the door about what is going on"

"I see. So, what have you been doing except for being bored until your boyfriend came?"

"Not much actually" she told her a bit of her limited activities before she asked her friend what she had done in the past weeks. In the middle of her description of the holidays, she heard her father coming home "Hey uh, my Dad just came. Do you mind if we postpone this a little?"

"Sure. No problem. Just call me when you're ready"

"Alright" she ended the call and got up to greet her father

"What are you doing outside?"

"Dad, uh… we have a visitor"

"And is it one of your Mum's friend you hate that you're hiding outside?"

"Actually no, it's my visitor… But I had to see you before you enter the house"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes it is. It's just… The visitor is Spock"

"Spock as in your boyfriend?"

"Yes. And we have been to town and when we returned he said he wanted to meditate. He's probably still doing that so it's better when you're quiet when we enter. Because he wants peace. Okay?"

"Of course. Just tell me you didn't sit here for hours just because you wanted to grant this man some silence"

"No, I saw that Nicole had called me, so I used that time here to talk to her"

"That's good. How is she doing?"

"She's fine. She told me about her holiday" she opened the door and put a finger to her lips. Her father nodded and entered on his tiptoes. Carissa smiled at his antics, even more so when he whispered a hello to her mother and kissed her cheek.

"Do you think we should prepare dinner even if Spock isn't coming to eat?"

"I don't know" Carissa said "Let's wait half an hour and then we can cook. Maybe he's finished until then"

"Or he stops when he smells food"

"I doubt that but maybe…" in the end they had already started eating until her boyfriend returned from the guestroom and joined them.

"I apologize for being late" he said after greeting her father.

"It's okay" her mother assured him "As long as you had fun" Carissa shook her head with a grin.

-oO0Oo-

After dinner, the couple retreated to Carissa's bedroom and somehow she wanted to approach the topic of Finn but had no idea how to do so.

"I'm sorry you had to meet Finn like that. If it upset you or whatever I'm sorry"

"It is not your fault. And it is only logical that he dislikes me as he must see a rival in me"

"But that's not true. He should know that he has lost" she shrugged "Is that the reason you mediated for such a long time? I know that when something like that happens you need time to yourself"

"Partially it is because of the incidents in the ice cream parlor"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

“One of his statements has made me realize that there is a possibility that you will desire someone else at some point in the future”

“Of course not! He only said that because he wanted me to feel bad or whatever”

“It might be true for you now but you cannot know how you will think of our relationship in the coming years. What if it will be your wish to have a human partner?”

“Well, then it can be our problem then but not now”

“Have you ever considered that I may not be able to provide everything that you are wishing for or deserve?”

“Right now you do that. And not even I know what I want in the future…”

“Carissa, there is something else I ought to tell you”

“That is?” she asked, sensing it couldn’t be that good.

“Prior to my vacation, the Captain has let me know that the Enterprise was allowed to be the first ship to undertake a five-year-mission once the reparations are completed”

“Oh” she looked down “So you’ll be gone for five years?”

“I will”

“That’s why you said I could want to be with someone else” she wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question.

“Among other. Please know that I want for you to be happy and if you are able to find someone else during my absence, feel free to move on as it would not be proper of me to expect you to wait for my return”

“I want to wait. I mean, five years isn’t the end of the world and maybe you’ll come back before the mission is over, like on a visit. Or we can at least talk to each other. But if you meet someone else…. you can move on too” she chuckled “Now just imagine we both found someone else and once the mission is over we could set those two people up” he raised an eyebrow.

“I doubt this would work. As for your suggestion; I do not believe it will happen”

“But you’re out there and meeting new people and all. I’m sure there would be someone… special”

“Yet, I am certain that I could not love them as I love you” Carissa froze

“Did-did you just say you love me?” she felt her heart leap and she only wanted to fall round his neck.

“Indeed” she took his hand and squeezed it

“Thank you. You’ve got no idea what this means to me. Okay, I knew you care about me and you showed me all the time, which I think is better than just telling someone you love them, but it still makes me happy” she smiled broadly as she interlaced their fingers.

“It is good to hear that”

“But what has bothered you about Finn’s statement then? Did you think I could never be entirely happy with you?”

“Initially, yes. Then, however, I have come to the realization that I would not want you to be with another man, although this is egoistic of me”

“So this whole drama was just because you don’t want me to leave you? And because you were afraid that I would want someone else?” he confirmed “Okay, now I am speechless” she leaned back a little, not sure what to do with this information. “You know, I too hope that we will work out. Despite everything”

“You have my word that I will do my utmost to accomplish this”

“Yeah, same fore me” she smiled “And I want you to know that I really am glad that I met you and that we are together. And thanks too for coming and visit me, it really means a lot to me and today was fun. Well, except for Finn, of course”

“I have not even inquired how the conversation with him has made you feel”

“I’m just angry and annoyed with him… Why couldn’t he just accept it and leave? Although, he’s never been good at that.”

“As I have already mentioned, his actions were logical because he must have seen a rival in me”

“I doubt he acted out of logic… God, I have forgotten what an idiot he is... thinking that a Vulcan is a burning mountain. Burning…. I don’t think he was that dumb when we were together… What about you? I mean, didn’t it bother you? Except from what you have been thinking about later on; that I could want to be with someone else one day?”

“I cannot help but admit that I have overheard most of your discussion before I have reached the decision to end it. However, I only did so after he crossed a boundary by kissing your hand”

“Sorry” she mumbled “I didn’t even think what this must mean to you… but that means you probably didn’t see what he did in the beginning?”

“I have overheard your conversation from the point of time you told him to ‘get his paws off you’. May I ask what he has done prior to this?”

“Well he tried to help me clean up the mess on my legs… which is a place where I don’t want anyone’s hands… I mean anyone who is not my boyfriend”

“Are you implying that I am allowed to touch your legs unless you tell me otherwise?”

“Well uh… sure… if you want”

“Does it bother you that I am acting with reserve? If that is the case, you may tell me if you would like me to do something”

“No it’s fine, really. I know that this is quite unknown to you and I don’t want you to feel obliged to do something”

“I do not see a problem if you merely ask, then the decision will be up to me”

“Yes but if I keep telling you to… I don’t know, kiss me, it could happen that you’re fed up one day and give in although you don’t want it”

“Carissa, I am sure that we both know this is something you would not do. If you realized that I am reluctant to fulfil your request you would not ask for it again. If not I know that I would not agree until I am comfortable with what you are requesting”

“Okay, you got me” she chuckled. “What now? Are you willing to try out something? Or do you want to talk? Or we can go to your room to see what kind of games we have. I’m quite sure there should be a pocket chess”

“Which of these options would you favor?”

“But I asked you”

“I can only exclude conversing whereas I cannot make a decision between the other two” she snorted with laughter “Did I say something inappropriate?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man say he can’t decide between playing chess and making out”

“Does this mean that ‘making out’ was what you had in mind when you mentioned that you would like to give something a trial?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Unless you’d prefer something else. Like what we’ve talked about before”

“I must admit I prefer the first mentioned”

“What do you mean by this?”

“The first option in your last statement”

“So making out?” he agreed “Alright. Somehow this also involves touching” she cleared her throat and cupped his face. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Please, go on” she kissed him gently. It took him a while to respond but from then on it quickly got heated, at least to their standards. After a couple of minutes she had the feeling as if Spock wasn’t even trying to hold back anymore. One of his hands wandered to her hip while the other tangled in her hair. Soon her hands left his face as well and she placed one on his chest, her fingers digging into his shirt. Meanwhile a finger traced over the tip of his ear, making him freeze for a moment before he suddenly pushed her onto her back and climbed over her. His hand carefully stroked a part of the newly exposed skin where her top had rucked up a bit. It tickled and she had to bite back a giggle before she pulled him closer by the back of his head. She had no idea how far he was willing to go but a part of her hoped he wouldn’t stop there. Slowly, his hand wandered further up, under her shirt, sending shivers down her spine and felt an aroused throbbing from her middle. She wrapped her legs around his thighs, trying to pull him even closer. Just before his hand reached her bra, he stopped, almost making her protest. Unfortunately, he also parted from her lips “Did I go too far for your liking?” she shook her head

“The contrary, actually. I was a bit disappointed when your hand stopped moving”

“Would you like me to continue?”

“Only if you didn’t stop because it felt wrong to you” he shook his head. She smiled.

“Okay. Just one thing” she propped herself up onto her elbows and took off her shirt, tossing it off the bed. When he raised an eyebrow she didn’t know what to think or feel.

“If it makes you feel more comfortable I can remove my shirt as well”

“If you want” she replied with a shrug, yet hoping he would do it. And he did, after undoing the top three buttons he slipped out of the shirt, folded it once and placed it beside him. She gave a short nod after her eyes glanced over his chest. Then she laid back onto the mattress and placed a hand on his arm. He leaned over her again, looking into her eyes. “Just know that we can stop anytime it gets too much for you”

“The same applies for you” again she gave a nod and slid her hand towards his shoulder. Shortly after he closed the distance between their lips and kissed her, first tenderly then with more passion. After some hesitation, she moved her hands to his back slowly letting them wander down his spine. She wished this moment would never end but suddenly her door flew open and she heard her father’s voice

“Carissa, your mother wants… what in…?” they both shot up, staring at her father in disbelief.

“Dad!” Carissa shrieked “You could have knocked!” as it seemed her father didn’t feel too comfortable either but he quickly caught himself and left the room, closing the door 

“I’d like to talk to you as soon as you’re decently dressed”

“With whom of us?”

“Both” Carissa shared a look with her boyfriend. That didn’t sound good. She was almost certain this would have consequences. Especially for him.

“I’m sorry” she whispered “I didn’t want that”

“You cannot have known and it is not your fault that it has happened”

“I could have locked the door” she shrugged “Well, we’re in for quite a talk now” she climbed off the bed and put on her shirt before she waited at the door until he joined her. They went downstairs and were awaited by both her parents in the living room. Her father sat in his armchair while her mother stood in front of the fireplace with her arms crossed.

“Sit down” she said rather harshly. Ducking her head, Carissa did as she said and Spock took a seat beside her. “Carissa, I know that you are an adult and able to decide for yourself but as long as you live under our roof, you will not sleep with any man in this house” she bit her lip and glanced at her boyfriend upon what she almost felt amusement due to the slight greenish hue on his cheeks. She didn’t know Vulcans could blush.

“Mum, we weren’t… I swear. We’re nowhere that far”

“Oh really? According to what your father told me you two were half naked”

“We-we removed only our shirts about two minutes before he entered”

“Two minutes and thirteen seconds”

“There you go”

“And what do you think would have happened if he had not stopped you?”

“What do I know? Nothing, I guess because we agreed that we wouldn’t take it… that far”

“Your father and I also didn’t plan to take things too far and three weeks later I heard I was pregnant” she almost choked on her own spit

“Rachel maybe this isn’t necessary. I mean, maybe Vulcans do… it in another way. And it’s probably not even possible that he could get her pregnant” she felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“It is possible for Vulcans to conceive a child with humans” she squeezed her eyes. Damn Vulcans and their straightforwardness and tendency to correct others…

“And how do you know that?”

“My mother was human” Carissa tore her hair

“Okay, Mum, you already gave me the talk and I bet Spock got it too. Or at least he knows”

“Your first assumption is incorrect, I have never been informed about this by either of my parents. However, it is correct that I possess knowledge on this matter nevertheless” 

“There, see? We know the facts of life. Can we please put an end to this discussion now?” 

“But does he know about protection?” 

“Okay, this is one too much. Come on, let’s go” 

“Your parents have offered us to teach us something” 

“Believe me you don’t want to know that. Besides, isn’t it illegal for Vulcans to use contraceptives now?” she glared at her mother. “Fine, alright. You can tell him everything you know. But I know and I don’t want to hear it again. Especially not when my boyfriend is around” she got up and left before her parents could say something. Somehow it didn’t surprise her that Spock didn’t join her shortly after and only hoped that he wouldn’t say a word about it when he returned. This turned out to be only wishful thinking because once he entered her room, he was trying to tell her what she had ‘missed’. 

“Your mother has requested me to inform you that she wishes to talk to you alone in the morning” 

“Ugh. Great” she groaned “I don’t think I will survive this a second time” 

“I do not see a reason why this conversation could be lethal”

“Spock, that’s just a saying” she sighed, patting the bed beside her.

“It was your father’s request that I shall leave your room now and retreat to the guest room” 

“So what? Come on, we don’t need to do everything they say”

“I do not wish to set a defiance to their rules” 

“If you’d follow each and every rule my parents make you’d never be able to leave your room” 

“Why would they not allow me to do so?”

“That was just an exaggeration” 

“However, I will comply with your father’s request and wish you a good night” 

“What exactly did he say?”

“His exact words were ‘I know you are a gentleman. Because of that you will leave our daughters room now and spend the night in your own room, is that clear?’” 

“Okay. You go to your room. I’ll join you”

“Carissa, I am certain he expects me to be in the guest room alone” 

“But he didn’t say that, did he? Besides, we won’t spend the night together if you don’t want. But we can just talk a bit before we go to bed”

-oO0Oo-

Although a part of her was glad to return to the Academy, she regretted that the holidays were over. She was mostly looking forward to seeing her friends again and somehow she was also glad to be away from her parents. They could get a bit too much now that she had lived elsewhere for three years already. It felt strange to know that this would be her last year at the Academy and that, with a bit of luck, she would be working on a ship in a couple of months. Unless she got a desk-job or something else on Earth first. And she couldn’t help but feel relieved that Oliver was gone but a part of her feared that his friends or maybe even he himself would get back at her somehow. At least she had warned Nicole about Oliver’s threat and her friend promised that anyone who’d try to mess with her would regret it.

The semester flew past like nothing and before she knew it she was buried in work to prepare herself for her semester exams. Now that he wasn’t her professor anymore, Spock helped her a lot. Besides, she was happy to spend time with him in that stressful time, even if it only was to learn.

Once she received her results after the end of the three week holidays, she saw that it also was worth it. She had passed everything very well, except for fractal calculus. Although she had imagined that, she was shocked to see that she had only gotten only 27%. Because her result was that bad she had to repeat the exam and she knew if she failed it again, she would be suspended from the Academy for three years and then she had to start over. Luckily, she was able to have a look at her answers to see where her mistakes were. Yet that was driving her even more desperate since she had no idea where she could have made that many mistakes. She consulted all her documents about the subject and redid almost all calculations again but couldn’t find anything. With time she was getting more and more desperate and was mentally saying goodbye to finishing her studies in summer. Finally, she had enough and decided to go home. Spock was working at the kitchen table and her dinner still was at her place. She mumbled a greeting and plopped down on her seat, quickly finishing her plate before she pulled out her PADD to continue where she had stopped, hoping now that she had something to eat she would find out more.

“Okay, Spock, you really need to help me” she groaned after a while, making him look at her “Tell me why I am stupid”

“Who would imply that?”

“My fractal calculus exam. I only got 27% and I can’t find where I made so many mistakes for all the will in the world” he got up and came over to her, glancing over her shoulder. She got up and let him have a seat. His eyes flew over the exam as if he was reading a book.

“I do not see a reason for this low marking as 72.4 percent of your answers are correct”

“So I’m not stupid? I really didn’t make that many mistakes?”

“No, you did not. I am certain that this low marking must derive from a fallacy”

“A-are you saying that I actually passed?”

“Indeed, with 72% if my calculations are correct” she felt her heart making a leap

“Thank you” she grabbed him by the shirt and crashed her lips onto his. “I’ll go and talk to Professor Lawson tomorrow to have this corrected”

“Should you wish, I can come with you”

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Yes because I have made the experience that most professors are not overly fond of cadets who correct them” she giggled

“Well if someone knows that it’s you. How many times d’you guess you did it?”

“247 times” she nodded.

“Okay. I’d like you to come with me. Tomorrow?”

“Yes. We will meet in in Professor Lawson’s office at 1810 hours”

“Perfect”

-oO0Oo-

As it turned out, there really had been a mistake and the evaluator had written the wrong percentage on her file. Somehow she wasn’t even mad, after all it meant she had passed the test anyway. On their way to Spock’s apartment, she was grinning broadly and was hopping happily beside the Vulcan who only cocked up an eyebrow at her antics.

“What is causing your cheerfulness?”

“I passed this exam. I’m not a complete failure like I thought. It’s just been a dumb mistake”

“It is most likely anything but a mistake”

“Why are you saying that?” her grin disappeared.

“Did you not listen to Professor Lawson?”

“He-he said it was a mistake”

“He did. I take you have not heard who was evaluating your exam?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“His words were ‘Oh it looks like Roger has made a mistake’, which has made me skeptical about the fact that it supposedly was a mistake.”

“Yeah but I don’t know who this Roger is”

“This is because only his family name is known to you”

“And his family name is?”

“Moore”

“Wait. Professor Moore corrected my exam?”

“Correct”

“Oh now I see what you mean. He’s probably done it on purpose because Oliver was expelled because of me. He hoped he could have me removed from the Academy as well” suddenly her good mood was gone and she clenched her fists. She took a deep breath “Well, he didn’t succeed. That’s all that counts” she looked at her boyfriend who shook his head

“It would not be proper to take no notice of the matter”

“Are you gonna report this?”

“I have to. But I will see to it that you will not be involved”

“How’s that possible since this is about me?”

“Your testimony will be unnecessary since I know all the facts as well”

“And you don’t think Moore will think it’s suspicious that you’re blaming him? He seems to believe you only want to get back at him for something. Then they will ask me anyway and then he’ll blame me to have plotted something against him with you…”

“This may seem like a logical conclusion to you but I assure you that the judges will know that Vulcans do not seek revenge”

“If you say so. Just be careful. If you don’t succeed, he could get even angrier and actually try to get revenge on either of us”

“You have my word that I will not give him a chance to exact vengeance on you”

“What about you?”

“By being true to my word, there will be nothing he could do to affect me” she glanced up at him, feeling a warmth spreading through her body.

“Does that mean he could only hurt you through me?”

“That is correct” she swallowed and took his hand, squeezing it.

“I don’t know what to say. I-I never thought I’d be that important to you”

“Of course you are” he replied, squeezing her hand back. She got on her tiptoes and pecked his lips

“Let’s go home that I can kiss you properly”

“If you are implying that you are hoping for another ‘make-out session’ I can assure you that I have no objections against it”

-oO0Oo-

“So you didn’t fail your exam?” Nicole asked with a shriek

“Nope” Carissa explained her friend the following day

“Cassie, that’s great to hear. I’m so happy for you”

“Yeah, me too” she thought it was better not to tell her that Moore did it on purpose. At least not yet.

“How did you find out?”

“Well I almost got desperate when I tried to find my mistakes so I asked Spock. And he found out there had to be a mistake in mere minutes. He said I should have gotten 72% on the assignment”

“Then that’ll be correct. Wow, that’s even better than I was” she grinned and nudged her side “I bet you’ll miss him a lot when you move to your new dorm next week” Carissa sighed and nodded. Now that all three dorm towers had been rebuilt, she found it was better to move back onto Academy grounds for the last semester. After all she wanted to give Spock some free time because he would be leaving for the mission in summer and be around people all the time for five years.

“Yeah. But not as much when he’s on that mission”

“Oh right. But hey, by that time you probably will be in a crew as well and explore space too. Then you probably won’t have much time to miss him”

“That is if I get a job on a ship”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re one of the best of our year, if someone gets a position on a ship it’s you” she smiled

“Thanks, Nicole”

“Always”

-oO0Oo-

Although no one told her when Spock had officially reported what Moore did she still knew it. Because that was the time that the professor started be impossible towards her and didn’t let a chance to make her look like a fool pass. The most notable thing he did was when he presented two of her essays as negative example in front of the class and picked everything about it to pieces. She started to hate the course even more, just like at the time after Spock had broken up with her. Somehow she couldn’t believe this was two years ago and that she had been without him for a whole year.

Then suddenly, one day as she was sitting in Moore’s classroom with her head hung low and absolutely no motivation, Nicole suddenly nudged her side with her elbow.

“Cassie look” she murmured from the corner of her mouth and Carissa stared at her

“What? Has he already started? Is he doing something against me? Maybe he’s found my diary and wants to read it in front of everyone”

“No, I have a feeling you’re gonna love this lesson.” she nodded her head towards the front and when she followed her look, she saw Spock taking out his stuff out of his bag at the teacher’s desk. A bright smile was on her face. It probably meant that Moore was either at this trial or gone. Her classmates started whispering not so nice things about her boyfriend and Carissa didn’t know whether she should tell them that he could probably hear them.

“Good morning, Cadets” Spock greeted them “I do not know if you are aware of this yet but Professor Moore has been dismissed without notice and I will assume his position until the Academy has found a suitable replacement” the whispers got louder and Nicole looked at Carissa, silently asking if Moore had been sacked because of what she thought. Carissa gave a slight nod before looking back to the front. “I have returned you your corrected essays and I would like you to deliver your new homework within the next five minutes” they all turned on their PADDs to check out their returned essays and hand in the task they had to fulfill for today. To Carissa’s surprise she had received nothing and she raised her hand “Cadet Wiley?”

“I uh… have nothing in my inbox”

“It appears that you have failed to turn in your essay”

“But I did turn it in. I even saw the note that it had been delivered!” she protested

“Oh poor Carissa forgot to do her homework and is sad about her zero” a classmate sneered.

“Cadet Graham, please keep all remarks that do not connect to the lesson private” she head her classmate mutter something and she was quite sure that her boyfriend had heard it. “As for you, Cadet Wiley, please turn in your current homework” she nodded and did as he wanted.

“Is it possible that my essay was lost when you took over Professor Moore’s data?” she then asked

“Cadet Wiley, please raise your hand if you have something to say” she had definitely spent too much time around him because she didn’t see him as something else than her boyfriend. She looked down

“I’m sorry” she mumbled, fully knowing he could hear it.

“Has everyone turned in their homework?” the cadets murmured in agreement and Spock started the lesson. When they were reading a chapter, she suddenly got notified that she had received a corrected document back. Curiously she opened it, only to see it was the essay from last time, the one she had believed lost. She smiled and was quite happy with her 65% score. Her mood improved even more when she saw Spock’s comment at the bottom, informing her that he wanted to speak to her after the lesson.

-oO0Oo-

Before the lesson was over, Spock officially told her that he wanted to talk to her about her homework, so she waited until everyone else left.

“I bet this has got zero to do with homework. Have fun” Nicole whispered in her ear and grinned before she exited as well. Meanwhile, Carissa took a seat in the front row and watched her boyfriend putting his things into his bag.

“How did you find my essay? I mean, where was it?” she asked

“It appears that Professor Moore has implanted a code that instantly deletes your submissions, cadet”

“What the hell?” she muttered “Did he really think you wouldn’t have noticed? Sir?”

“Had you not told me that you have turned it in, it would have taken me a couple of weeks to detect it”

“And you don’t think it would have been suspicious if I never turned in my stuff?”

“I admit, from this point of view, the professor’s action was not sophisticated. But he was only hoping for you to be punished”

“Well luckily you’re such a computer expert and could eliminate this code before something happened. I guess you also retrieved my latest homework and got rid of that stupid code that deletes my stuff?”

“Affirmative”

“Thanks, professor” he dismissed her and she looked at the desk, then back at him “I know this has nothing to do with school anymore but I’m officially on break now. How are you doing? Enjoying to have the apartment to yourself again?”

“Yes, I have gotten accustomed to live by myself again. I take it you have settled into your new dormitory well?”

“Kinda. My first dorm mate hated Blacky so she changed with someone who could not stand her dorm mate” she shrugged “So now I share with a second year cadet called Nialaxe. And well, her former roommate didn’t want to be with her because Nia’s a Betazoid and was afraid she would read her mind and manipulate the hell out of her. Which I think is what she deserves because she can be a real bitch” she grinned. He gave a nod.

“You have forgotten some of your belongings in my apartment”

“Oh, I almost imagined that. Do you want me to come and pick them up?”

“That is not necessary as I have them with me today”

“Okay, thanks” she said as he handed her some of her clothing. “Do you have another moment or are you leaving or expecting a new class?”

“No, I have two free periods”

“Really? I’d have a lecture now but I usually never go there anyway. I watch it in the evening, double speed” Spock raised an eyebrow

“Although I do not approve of this decision I respect it”

“Oh come on, I said I always watch them. It’s not like I don’t visit them at all. And if I have a question, I’ll go to the actual lecture next time to ask” she crossed her arms and glared at him “Anyways, would you like to do something until we need to be back?”

“If this is your wish, we can do that”

“But only if you don’t need to prepare something for your next lesson or so”

“No, I have finished everything yesterday evening”

“Great” she beamed and got up “Let’s go”

“I do, however, have one condition”

“That is?”

“Seeing as I am temporarily your professor again, it would be wiser to make sure no one else learns about our relationship”

“Oh, right” she thought for a moment “We could go to the city? Then we’ll meet at the end of Academy ground?”

“It would be better to stay on Academy ground during the day”

“We could go to my dorm then… It’ll be empty because Nia has classes. And if she does come… she knows about our relationship anyways and sooner or later she’ll probably also know that you’re teaching again”

“This idea is feasible”

“Alright”

-oO0Oo-

“Where have you been? We thought you’d be coming to the library as always” Nicole and Lucie asked her in the next lesson

“Oh well…”

“Don’t tell me he had a free period too”

“He did” she said with a smile

“And?” Lucie squealed “That smiles says everything. How was it?”

“What? No, no way. We’re still not that far. And I really think he would do it until we’re married”

“Well…”

“I don’t mind because it’s really fine. Besides I think it’s better if we don’t try to I don’t know… schedule it but let it happen when it happens”

“That sounds great. Do you think you’re ready?”

“No idea. At times I think it could happen any moment, then I suddenly start to freak out about it. That worries him because he always notices when I’m worried and thinks he did something wrong”

“You know, although I wouldn’t want to be with a Vulcan your stories still make me hella jealous. he seems so sweet” Carissa grinned. The Professor entered and Lucie went to her seat before the lesson started.


	13. Put to the Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of violence

Much to her dismay, the Academy had replaced Moore with someone else only a month later. Although the new professor was great, she was still sad that Spock didn’t teach them anymore. The rest of her class, however, seemed relieved that he was gone. Especially the boys, who seemed to be pining for the female professor.

At that time, they also had to start with their final projects but right now, Carissa had other stuff in her mind; Spock had asked her out on their anniversary at the end of February. Nialaxe helped her getting ready and they were joined by Lucie too. Somehow she wasn’t sure if she liked all the attention she got but she was glad about their opinions. (At least Nia’s because Lucie always assured her that she looked great whereas Nia as a Betazoid was awfully honest)

“Girls, it’s only our anniversary”

“Yes but you didn’t have one before, did you?” Nialaxe asked

“Well we broke up after nine months and got together a year later. So we actually were together a year some months ago. But we didn’t celebrate that or whatever”

“See? Who knows what’s gonna happen? Maybe he’ll propose”

“I don’t know…” Carissa said, cracking her knuckles 

“Oh okay, I can understand you’re not ready for that yet” she pinned back some of her hair with her flower-shaped hairclip “Yes, I think that’s it” she said, nodding as she stepped away. Carissa had a look in the mirror and smiled.

“Yeah, it looks good”

“Really does” Lucie agreed. Since it still was a little early for her to go outside, the three girls sat down on the bed and talked until Carissa had to leave. Lucie squeezed her hand

“Have fun”

“Oh God, was that imagination really necessary?” Nia moaned

“Well looks like being a telepath has its disadvantages”

“Can’t you just… switch it off?”

“There might be a way but I don’t know. I’ve only got the abilities like five years ago” Carissa made a mental note to ask Spock if he maybe knew something she could to do control it a little “Hey, that’s a great idea. Vulcan’s are touch telepaths and they’re very private. Maybe they know something… oh God, Lucie, you’re a genius!”

“What did she think?” Carissa asked

“You could make your final project on that matter. You know, telepathy, its limits and ways to control or steer it”

“That really doesn’t sound too bad” she said “But would you even want to be my guinea pig?”

“I’m still learning to use it and it would be cool to see what things I can do” Carissa shrugged.

“I’ll think about it. Thanks for the idea, Lucie. If you want you can have the topic yourself though, after all it was your idea.”

“Nah. I’ve already got my topic with the question which non-human species is best integrated into the Federation”

“And I’ve got no idea what I’ll do” Nia said with a grin

“Well, you’ve still got two years to think about it”

“True”

“Okay, I gotta leave. Vulcans always come on time”

“Sure… Lucie keep that perverted thoughts private!” although she hurried downstairs, her boyfriend was already waiting for her.

“Sorry” she breathed, “the girls held me back”

“There is no reason to apologize, you are still two minutes and thirty-four seconds early” she gave a quick nod as she pecked his cheek.

“Shall we?” he only offered her his arm which she took, almost feeling like a lady from the Middle Ages. “Where are we going?” she asked when he led her off the school grounds

“You asked me to surprise you. If I told you now, I would ruin it”

“Good point” she giggled. They walked in silence for almost half an hour before he led her into a cozy looking restaurant and where showed their table. “It’s nice here” she said, her fingers toying with the flowers on the table.

“It is good to hear that the location is according to your liking”

“So, how are the reparations of the ship going?”

“We are approximately 2.26 days behind to the schedule since the re-installment of the gravity stabilizer has taken longer than I have anticipated as I was not aware that a third year cadet would be allowed to help during his traineeship”

“Oh you still have trainees onboard?”

“Only engineers as everyone else would not be able to work“

“That makes sense. What about you? Do you miss your work?”

“I am working”

“Sure, you do, but I mean don’t you miss working as Science Officer?”

“Science is needed for the reparations, which makes your question redundant”

“Okay, I didn’t consider that. But wouldn’t you prefer if the ship was already repaired and you could do what you usually do?”

“I cannot understand why I should wish for something that is impossible”

“Okay, let’s forget this” she said opening her menu. Again they were silent until they had ordered dinner. Then Spock asked how her studies were going. “Good, as always. Professor Moore’s replacement is much better than him. Not as good as you though” she chuckled and took a sip from her drink.

“Were you referring to my expertise, my way of teaching or the fact that I am your partner when you mentioned that you preferred me?”

“Uh… you being my boyfriend and of course your intelligence.”

“Alright. Have you been informed about the final projects yet?”

“Yes. We need to find a topic and evaluator until the end of next month”

“Have you already decided on either of those points?”

“No. I’ve got some ideas and just today Nia gave me a new one. Well actually it was Lucie’s idea but they said I could write about it if I want”

“That subject being?”

“Telepathy” she looked at him to see his reaction and wasn’t disappointed when he raised an eyebrow

“I take it that Cadet Uvestri has volunteered as test person for your project?”

“Yeah she did. I’d try to find out what the limits of her telepathy are and if there are ways to stop it”

“Maybe you would want to consider making a comparison between telepathy of different species?”

“Is that an offer to help me as in participate in the experiment?”

“Since I am your boyfriend I would consider it appropriate to do so, yes” she smiled.

“Thanks. I’ll think about it”

“May I ask what your other suggestions for your project were?” after she told him of her other ideas, she asked what he had written about

“I bet I won’t even understand the title. So maybe just tell me the area”

“Astronomical spectroscopy” she frowned

“And there it already starts… I don’t even remember what that is. What score did you receive on it?”

“97% although it should have been 97.2 but decimal places were not allowed”

“I see. That’s very good. I just want an overall score of 75% or more at the end. I mean as my graduation mark, not from the project. Then I’m happy”

“Do you think you can achieve this?”

“I guess so. Up to now I have 81% which means I have a slight cushion” he nodded. Their food came and for a while they were silent before she asked him what he would like to do on the five year mission. Once they had finished their plates, they continued talking for a while before they left the restaurant. Spock accompanied her back to her dorm and decided to say goodbye outside because no one was here at this time.

“I have heard that it is human custom for the male to gift his partner something on their anniversary” she instantly started to feel bad because she had nothing for him

“Oh. You shouldn’t have gotten me anything. And I uh… don’t have anything for you”

“There was no reason for you to give me something in return. Besides, I did not have to obtain this” he said as he pulled out a small casket and opened it to reveal a necklace.

“It’s beautiful” she said, tracing her finger over it “Thank you”

“You are welcome” he took it out “May I?”

“Sure” he put it over her head and she took the pendant between her fingers to have a look at it.

“Where did you get it?”

“It has belonged to my mother” she stared at him

“Spock I-I don’t think I can accept it. I mean… maybe you should keep it if it was hers” he took hold of her hand, gently squeezing it.

“I want you to have it. I am certain that my mother would have been very fond of you had she met you”

“Are you sure?”

“Affirmative” she nodded and let go of the pendant, hugging him instead

“Thank you. It really means a lot to me. Especially considering what the necklace means to you.”

“It is good to hear that it pleases you” he placed his hands on her back and leaned his chin onto her head.

“And thanks for the evening. I really enjoyed it”

“So did I”

-oO0Oo-

It was time for the fourth years to find themselves a job for when they finished the Academy in summer. So she applied for jobs as biologist on every ship that offered this position. She was quite certain that she would get a position on a ship, if not she still could apply as a biologist on earth. Somehow she found this wouldn’t be all too bad in the beginning because a part of her wasn’t so sure she’d be able to constantly go onto missions. What if they were attacked something dangerous happened? A part of her even regretted joining Starfleet and she was almost surprised to have made it that far into her education.

Somehow she was surprised that she already had a reply two days later. But once she saw who it was, she only grinned. Of course Jim Kirk would be the first one to reply and invite her for an interview. So she agreed to his suggestion to meet him three days later and was a little disappointed when she saw that he was alone today.

“Hello there” he said with a grin

“Hello”

“How’d you start at the Academy?”

“I haven’t seen you since the end of term party, respectively the trial later on, so which start did you mean? In summer or now after the winter holiday?”

“Both. I don’t even know what fourth year is like”

“As always” she shrugged. “Just the final project coming up”

“Oh I’ve heard about those” he smirked “Well anyway… I’ll make this short. I wanted you on my ship last time but that didn’t work out. But now I’d really like you to take you onto that five year mission”

“R-really?” she choked out “Are you sure?”

“Do you think I’d have called you here if I wasn’t serious? Starfleet has ordered me to take some new graduates with us… from all departments so I’ll need freshly graduated scientists anyway. And I must admit I really want to have you. You’re one of the best cadets and I know how you work”

“And this decision isn’t just because… I don’t know… because you know me and of my relationship with Spock?”

“Nope. Well, I want you because I know you and know that you’re a great scientist and a quick learner and a good person”

“Really?”

“I read your report. You told Admiral Marcus to go fuck himself and I want people like you on my ship” she grinned

“You want me to tell you to go fuck yourself?”

“No, of course not… but you know what I mean. I’ve only got two people who put my orders into question, one being Bones who’s my best friend and Spock who questions anything that’s not from him anyway”

“So you want me to doubt you too?”

“I sometimes need someone telling me off when I’m an idiot. And I know you’ve got the balls to do so” she snorted with laughter, not too sure about his words. “But if you’d rather start on another ship, where you don’t go onto such a big mission at the beginning I understand. Or if you have enough of me and my crew”

“No, of course not. I mean… thank you for your offer, I feel honored”

“But?” he asked

“Well you’re right, I’m not sure I actually am ready for such a mission now”

“If I can be honest. I bet if anyone can do it it’s you. Besides, you won’t be alone. You already know a couple of people on board”

“Yeah but only bridge crew. And I doubt that this will be where I’ll be working”

“Okay, let me put it that way. I can really see you climbing up that career ladder. We need to report to Starbases at least once a year anyway, so each time we do that, you can complete a new test there and get promoted. So once you’re Lieutenant, which you could be by the end of next year, I could assign you to the bridge. Besides, the Enterprise doesn’t have a Junior Science Officer during Alpha shifts because we got Spock but we may change that…”

“You really don’t need to do this. I mean, I probably am just as happy if I can be working somewhere else on the ship. Maybe even better because then I won’t have responsibility. It’s just… I’d love to go on away-missions too but I know there will be many other scientist who have better qualification for that” he clicked his tongue

“Well, usually an away-team needs the best people. So it would be, speaking like Spock, logical to take people with different talents. And you are a great scientist and are skilled at diplomacy. We can always use someone like you if there are other cultures involved.

“I doubt I could speak their language”

“We’ve got translators for a reason… or Uhura comes.”

“Right”

“So what do you say? Are in interested in a tryout?”

“A tryout?”

“Yeah. We want to see how you’re doing before we can decide. And it’s what Starfleet requires at least for all the cadets. So there will be a big tryout day for all of you, all departments.”

“But how is that possible? I mean, the reparations on the Enterprise aren’t finished yet, so how are you supposed to see us in action?”

“That’s easy. Starfleet Academy has given us permission to use the Kobayashi Maru rooms for the cadets that study Command. As for you scientists, we will find you a ‘mission’. It’ll just take place on earth but we’ll pretend it’s a foreign planet. The procedure’s the same, anyways. Maybe we can still use one of the labs on the Enterprise in the end. It’s not all sorted out yet.”

“Oh okay. When will this be?”

“I’ll need to interview other cadet first and when I’ve made the first decision, we will let you take this ‘missions’ on a weekend. Maybe you’ll have a part in the Kobayashi Maru simulation too. But don’t worry, you won’t need to save another ship or so. We merely need the environment to let you investigate the destination”

“That makes sense” she smiled.

“Oh. One last thing. Did you tell Spock about your application for the Enterprise yet?”

“You mean if he knows that I want to join you on the mission maybe? No, he doesn’t”

“Right. I’d like to keep it that way until the tryout. I can’t wait to see his face when he sees you”

“Does that mean he’ll be there too? I mean… sure he will since he’s your First Officer and Chief Science Officer at the same time”

“Exactly. He’ll be the one to help you with this task for the tryout” he got up and shook her hand “You’ll hear from me as soon as I know more.”

“Sure” she smiled and he opened her the door

“Oh and Carissa?”

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to apologize for having been an idiot when we first met” she smiled when she thought back of the Kobayashi Maru simulation oh so long ago where she had first met him.

“Forgiven and forgotten. I kinda think it’s funny now. Except for the fact that you cheated on the test”

“Glad to hear that”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for scaring off Andrew last year at the party when…. you know”

“Sure thing” he nodded at her and they parted ways.

-oO0Oo-

In the three weeks before she heard from Jim again, she had been to two other interviews and had been invited to yet another tryout. She also started with her final project and had the first talk with her evaluator. But once she heard more details about her tryout for the Enterprise, this was everything she could focus on. A part of her hated herself because she feared that Spock was the only reason she wanted to be on that ship but she had to admit that this wasn’t true. There were many other reasons and yet she still wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to directly go onto a five year mission. Her parents definitely wouldn’t like that but she didn’t care. In fact, she believed that she’d try even harder to get onto the Enterprise if they tried to prohibit her from doing it.

All too soon another month had passed and the day of the tryout had come. By now all they knew was that they would need to gather data about their atmosphere in the bridge of the Kobayashi Maru simulation, pretending it was a foreign planet, before they would be split into two groups and fly to Europe with a shuttlecraft where they had to fulfill the next part of their ‘mission’. When she entered the classroom they were told to meet, she realized that she knew almost every other science cadet there since they were in at least one of her courses. She took a seat next to Evans and nodded at him, pulling out her PADD to make some notes.

“You applied here too?”

“Of course I did” she said

“Oh okay. I just thought you weren’t the type to be that long into space”

“I admit it is a bit much for the start but I’m sure it’ll be fine”

“Yeah. I really hope I’ll manage to do this”

“Good luck then”

“Thanks. Same to you”

“How’s your project doing?”

“Fine” as he started to explain what he was doing, Jim entered and greeted them.

“Good morning, Cadets. Thank you for coming on that Saturday morning, I know you’ve probably got better stuff to do than participating in an ‘improvised’ tryout. Anyways, Mr Scott, my Chief Engineer, has already taken the engineering cadets with him because they’ve got heaps of work to do on the Enterprise. Doctor McCoy and my First Officer Mr Spock should be arriving any moment. And I will take care of those who want to pursuit a career in command but they’ll only arrive in a few hours. Now, to your assignments. As you have been already informed, everything is a bit improvised and we’ve agreed on the following program: We will make three groups, medicals and other sciences mixed, and you all will spend some time on the bridge of the USS Trainor, where the scientists will investigate a fictive planned we called AlphaBetaGamma. However, the medics among you will pursuit other task on the bridge at that time because we won’t always need you in Sickbay and then you might be working on the bridge one day. Then, we will make new groups and the medics follow McCoy to the Academy’s sickbay to learn something about viruses and bacteria and complete a little workshop on hypos and whatever. Meanwhile, the scientists will be divided in two groups of four and each group gets an instructor who will fly them to Europe in a shuttlecraft, where you’re supposed to pretend you’re on AlphaBetaGamma and collect rocks, bugs, plants and whatever and do some experiments on them before you decide to take them back to the ship, which will be the science lab of the Enterprise because that’s like the only thing that’s working on this ship. There you will finish your tasks and if everything works well, you’ll be finished by tomorrow afternoon. And yes, you will spend a night in Europe. The people from the command division will just stay in the Kobayashi Maru rooms with me and fulfill a couple of tasks once they arrive. Any questions so far?”

“What exactly are we supposed to do with these elements we collect?”

“Mr Spock will explain it to you once you’ve determined everything about our little planet. He’ll also give you more details about what you need to collect.” Jim said “Oh and speaking of him, he’ll accompany you to Europe but he’ll go to Geneva because they asked him to have a look at their particle accelerator because they seem to have a little issue” he shrugged and Carissa remember that Spock had told her about that when she asked him what he was doing on the weekend (because she wanted to find out if he guessed that she would be coming to the tryout). “So he’ll stay there and one group will pick him up on their way back” they nodded and Jim had a look at the time “I bet Spock’s been taking my instruction to give me five minutes a bit too literally…” he said “And Bones’ late anyways” he walked to the door and opened it. “Oh there you are. Come in, I’m done” he said and his First Officer as well as the medical officer entered the room. Their eyes wandered through the room and she could see Spock freezing when he must have seen her and his eyebrow cocked up. She grinned at him, waving a tiny hello with her hand. “And?” Jim asked, standing beside the Vulcan and glancing at him as if he expected a reaction “What do you think of them?” he looked at the Captain

“I trust your judgement that they will be distinguished”

“That’s the spirit” he patted his back before he went to introduce McCoy, then his other friend.

-oO0Oo-

After everyone had a detailed assignment, they left for the Kobayashi Maru simulator. Since they needed a Captain and an evaluator for this task, Spock sat down in the Captain’s chair and told everyone what they had to do. Since they couldn’t all be at the science desk, they took other roles and would all determine one thing about the fictional planet, just that the instruments would take the data from the devices that had been installed on the roof of the Academy. She suggested it had been Spock who made sure the data was visible in on the instruments of the USS Trainor Finally, it was Carissa’s turn and she had to determine what kind of life that could be found on the planet.

“Definitely humanoid lifeforms but different species. The vegetation is almost similar to the one on planet Earth but sparse in that area and I get indicators of vertebrates and also other animal phylums, such as mollusks and arthropods. Most of them also belong to different classes. So I guess it’s safe to say it’s very biodiverse. Wow, even the water has many living things inside it” she decided and had to pull herself together not to get off the point too much. Plus, she was also surprised by how good and detailed the measuring devices on the roof were working “Funnily all lifeforms have already been identified, so there probably won’t be much that is unknown. At least not in that area. And there’s a civilization that’s using advanced technology. But I think we’d better land somewhere else where there isn’t that much populated so that we don’t go noticed. Shall I make out coordinates that we could land?”

“Thank you, Cadet Wiley. Cadet George, please take over and determine convenient landing-coordinates”

“Do I need to find them in Europe?”

“Have I mentioned the continent?”

“Err no?”

“May I hear from you what task I gave you?”

“To find coordinates to land?”

“Exactly”

“Oh I see, I just need to find a good spot and then we pretend that the place in Europe are those coordinates…” he got to work and for a couple of minutes not much happened until he said two coordinates. Spock asked another cadet at the helm to check them out.

“It looks like a shuttle landing place from an airport, Sir”

“Cadet George, I do understand why you think such a place would make a good area to land but the point of our mission is to not get into contact with the natives if possible”

“But Wiley said they’re a known species. So they won’t cause us trouble. Besides, we could land in the night…”

“Yeah sure” Carissa muttered “Because no one will be there then because of course no shuttles land at night. And just because we know a species doesn’t mean they don’t mean trouble” her classmate sighed and tried again, naming two other coordinates.

“That’s a corn field” the helmsman reported after checking

“Yeah, then we could hide the shuttle in there” Spock shifted in the Captain’s chair and she was sure had he been human, he would have buried his face in his hands.

“What if someone is there? And do you really want to destroy their food when we land? That surely won’t cause trouble at all” Carissa asked

“Your classmate is right” Spock said “Please, try one last time”

“What do you expect me to do? Shall we land in the Antarctica or what? You’ve got no one there” Carissa muttered to herself that there still were some science outposts.

“Can you repeat your mission?”

“We’ve got to find three different samples, like rocks, plants or insects”

“Do you expect to find the latter two at the place you just mentioned?”

“Err no?” Spock raised an eyebrow “Yes?” now Carissa buried her face in her hands. “No anyway? I’m confused. You make me nervous”

“I have made that observation as well, yes. Cadet Wiley, please take over” although she felt pride the he wanted her to do it, she felt sorry for her fellow cadet, knowing he had forfeited his chance for a place on the Enterprise.

Once everything was sorted out, they left the simulation room and gathered in the classroom from the beginning again. When the second group was finished, Spock sent the medics away with Leonard before they made two groups of four with the rest of the scientists. Again they were told what they had to do and then left for the ship hangar where they would meet their instructors, the ones who would also evaluate them.

-oO0Oo-

Somehow Carissa felt strange knowing that she had been to space and another planet before but never to another continent on Earth. They landed somewhere in France for all she knew and had to take the samples and do some experimenting there.

“Almost a pity we can’t stay here longer. I’d love to spend a day here before we return” a classmate said as they tried to collect some bugs they had found.

“Yeah. How did your part in the simulation go?” Carissa asked

“Quite well. Though Evan didn’t even ‘scan’ the planet and just told us about Earth’s atmosphere what he knew himself and I guess he made at least one mistake.”

“Oh. Ryan wanted us to land on an airport, then a cornfield and then went for Antarctica” her partner looked at her and grinned

“Okay, I think that’s worse. So where are we now, according to him?”

“Oh Spock was fed up with him and told me to take over. No idea where exactly I brought us but there’s a like some miles away from San Francisco. At least if we had landed at the place I wanted us to go….”

“I still don’t know why they couldn’t just let us stay in America”

“Well maybe that would have been to close. Here it’s a bit different already…Besides, like this we needed to be in that shuttlecraft a bit longer… or maybe because the Commanded needed to go to Geneva anyways”

“Okay, that makes sense” they fell silent again and tried to get the bugs into the jars.

“That somehow reminds me of elementary school”

“Yeah” he chuckled “Wouldn’t have thought back then that I would be collecting bugs in space one day. Well not in space itself, on foreign planets I mean.”

“If there even are bugs on those planet”

“Well, AlphaBetaGamma has bugs” he said, holding up his jar with two bugs in it

“Yes it does. Agile ones” she chuckled. “Hey do you have any idea what the time is?”

“Uhh… I know our American time but I have no idea what time zone we are in right now. Why did you ask?”

“Just because. We need to plan our night and it looks like it’s getting dark soon. Besides, you remember that Commander Spock said he would contact us at 2000 hours local time. Not that we miss his call”

“I still don’t get why he has to call us? We’ve got our instructor”

“He’s our captain in this exercise, don’t forget that. We need to report to him as we would on a mission. Besides, he is responsible for us. What if we got attacked by wolves?”

“I bet the instructor has a phaser. But hey, imagine we would take a wolf with us to examine it. We’d definitely get that place on the ship”

“Still. What if it’s a pack and he’s killed? Then we’re screwed” she shrugged “But I doubt there are wolves here anyways. Maybe he just wants to make sure no one got lost or left or whatever” she shrugged.

“Okay, we can go back to meet the others again” her partner said and got up, wiping the dirt off his trousers. “I think five bugs should be enough for now. We’ve still got to make the experiments” she nodded and took a handful of soil which she put in the container as well. “Do we need to take soil?”

“Nah, but it’ll help to calm down the bugs. Besides more samples are better than too few…” she gave a shrug and they returned to the shuttle. Their teammates were already back and did the tests on their rocks and plants. Also Carissa and Theodore took out the supplies they needed to perform their examinations. The instructor walked over to them and asked them to explain what they were doing as they did it.

-oO0Oo-

Suddenly Carissa saw that the sun had sunk and frowned. This probably meant that it had been 8 PM and she wondered why her boyfriend hadn’t gotten into contact with them yet. She asked the instructor what time it was

“2024 hours” he replied.

“Commander Spock hasn’t contacted us yet” she said

“He must have forgotten it” Theodore suggested

“Definitely not” Carissa said

“The CERN has closed now, hasn’t it?” an alien cadet called Syl asked.

“Yes. So he can’t have been distracted” Carissa said “Which is rare anyways. Vulcans never forget things”

“Maybe he forgot his PADD somewhere?”

“Or the other group has taken longer with their report”

“I guess we should contact them to ask”

“What for? I bet he’ll get in touch any moment now”

“Don’t Vulcans meditate?”

“Ah sure that must be the reason. It probably took longer than usual” the instructor said, obviously relieved

“He probably wouldn’t do it before he contacted us. I mean there’s always a chance it takes longer” Carissa corrected. She entered the shuttle and contacted the other group. They seemed surprised but they hadn’t heard anything from Spock either. “Well,” she said and gave a shrug “Then we contact him” she decided as she tried to reach him on his PADD, ignoring the frowns and protests from some of her teammates. Right now she didn’t even care if she disrupted his mediation, she was worried because she knew it was very, very much unlike him to not contact her at the time he promised. She saw that the connection was built, all Spock needed to do was to answer her call. Which he didn’t. In contrary, he dismissed her “He dismissed the call” she gasped and instantly tried to reach him again but the signal was lost “And his signal’s gone”

“Oh come on, it maybe just was the connection that broke. Must be a mistake in the network. We’re out in nowhere here.”

“That connection is supposed to work without an external network” she said “We can’t expect other planets to have this. I’m telling you one thing. There is something wrong. It makes no sense that he dismissed the call”

“Someone could have stolen his PADD”

“He probably has a communicator with him. He would have contacted us with that”

“Maybe he didn’t realize his PADD is gone and forgot to call us?”

“That sounds unlikely” Syl said “What should we do?” Carissa looked to the instructor

“I guess we should inform Starfleet and see if they can reach him. I’ve got no idea how to contact him on his communicator. Or do you know?”

“I know” he said as he took out his own communicator and switched it on, trying to reach the Commander “Nothing” he said

“Maybe someone stole his PADD and his communicator”

“He’s probably more intelligent than the five of us put together. He would have found a way to contact us if he is in a state to do so”

“He was robbed and knocked out”

“That would have needed to be a huge group who did this. Vulcans are much stronger than most other species that life on earth”

“Well then it was a large group that robbed and knocked him out”

“So we all agree that something is not alright?”

“What are we supposed to do?”

“We contact Starfleet and ask them if we can go and investigate”

“I bet this is just a test… they want us to worry and as soon as we arrive in Geneva, he’ll await us and tell us that we all failed because we ignored our task”

“Come on, if this was a test it we would act correct by go and having a look. Who cares about rocks when someone of our crew could be in danger?”

“Well he isn’t our crew. Besides, it aren’t just rocks, there are plants and bugs too”

“I bet you won’t pass this tryout with that attitude. And I’m going to contact Starfleet now and ask for their permission to go and have a look” before anyone protested she just did that, not even caring if their instructor was okay with it. Starfleet allowed them to go to Geneva to see if they could find the Vulcan, which didn’t really make everyone all too happy. On their way there, Carissa didn’t care about the other cadet’s looks since she could only think about her boyfriend and what could have happened to him. She even demanded the last coordinates of his PADD, what made her frown even more “He’s somewhere in France now. I mean at least he’s been there at the time before his PADD was switched off”

“Doesn’t mean he was there. Maybe that’s where the thieves went” Syl said.

“True. That’s why we’ll go to Geneva first anyway” Carissa said, not even noticing that she had kind of taken the lead of the mission “Someone should go to his hotel to ask if he has been there”

“How are we supposed to know which hotel he is in?”

“Good question” Carissa said, looking at their instructor “Do you know something?”

“I can’t recall the name”

“Then we’ll just look up which hotels are near the CERN” Carissa decided as she switched on the PADD again. Luckily, she knew him well enough to exclude three fancy ones and a hostel. She then handed the PADD to the instructor, who quickly retrieved the address of the right hotel. “Good. That’s where we head first”

“And what do we tell them?”

“The truth” Carissa said

-oO0Oo-

Somehow she was surprised that they were even allowed to have a look at Spock’s room. The other cadets didn’t even dare to enter and if she was honest, she wouldn’t have done it either if Spock hadn’t been her boyfriend. But after all she had lived with him for a year, so this didn’t feel wrong. After all she wouldn’t rummage his things and just have a look if she saw anything suspicious, like traces of a fight. It seemed like he only had been here to deposit his bag and change from his uniform shirt into something else, informal. She figured that he only reason he’d leave his room again was to get food. This was what she told the other cadets and the instructor after she left the room.

“Excuse me, have you seen him leaving maybe?” she asked the receptionist who shook his head. His colleague, however, seemed to have seen him. “Could you see what he had with him? I mean is it possible he had a PADD like this?” she asked, holding up the one from the shuttle.

“Probably…” she answered.

“Do you know what kind of restaurants are nearby? Like approximately ten minutes of walking? Nothing too fancy, crowded or loud. Nothing that mostly sells meat and probably not international kitchen. Maybe something typical from here?” she turned to her colleague and they talked in French before Carissa was told names of certain restaurants

“Oh wait. ‘The Space’”

“It’s international” Carissa was already getting information about it and a small gasp left her lips

“Not international. Intergalactic is more like it” she said

“You mean he went there?” Theodore asked

“I am quite sure they serve Vulcan meals, so yes”

“Alright, let’s go there”

“No, we should try to find out which way he took and take this one too… maybe we find traces of a fight there”

“Or he got involved in a bar fight”

“Definitely” she grumbled, asking the PADD for directions to said restaurant

“He could have just provoked someone without knowing. He just has a manner that makes you want to beat him senseless at times”

“Okay that’s true” she admitted. “We’ll just take different ways and meet at the restaurant in… 15 minutes”

“What kind of traces of a fight do you mean?”

“I don’t know, anything that could have been used as a weapon or blood”

“Isn’t Vulcan blood blue?”

“Green” she mumbled before she told everyone where they should walk through. On the way to the restaurant she didn’t know if she wanted to find traces of a fight. A part of her hoped she would because at least she would have an idea what happened, on the other hand she didn’t want something to have happened to him. But something told her that if he was alright he would have long gotten in touch with them somehow. She swallowed and walked faster. Her classmates were already awaiting her at the restaurant

“Nothing. We even were inside. He wasn’t here. So he either got attacked on the way here, without traces, he didn’t come here or nothing happened at all” she nodded and once again tried to contact him, just out of foolish hope. At least she saw that his PADD was on again. This time she cancelled the call, hoping there would be a way to locate it.

“I’ve got the signal of his PADD again. I’ll ask Starfleet to locate it”

“Good. Then they can come here and investigate themselves. This is not our job”

“We can at least go to have a look. Maybe it’s just the thieves that are there. But then they could tell us something about his whereabouts.” Syl said, offering Carissa some comfort

“Yes. We can get an overview of the situation” she contacted Starfleet and shortly after had the coordinates she asked for. “They said we could go there to have a look. They’re coming too” she informed her friends.

“Good. Let’s return to our actual task…”

“Look, it takes Starfleet over four hours to get here… we’d better go and have look because we’ll need about half an hour with the shuttle. If he was abducted, every minute could count”

“And what do you suggest? That we’d go and rescue him?” although she would have never admitted it out loud, she did somehow like the thought of rescuing him.


	14. In the Name of Science

The place they had to go turned out to be a huge concrete building that reminded Carissa of a bunker. She swallowed as they got out of the shuttle to have a look at the area around it, their tricorders at the ready. They even found three phasers in the shuttle which they distributed too. Since Theodore had thought it was better if one of them remained in Geneva, just for the chance Spock still was there, each of the cadets received a weapon. The group split up in teams of two to check out everything around them, then met fifteen minutes later for a short report.

“I think we’ve done our job. Let us file up a report for Starfleet until they arrive” the instructor said

“Shouldn’t we at least try to find a way to go inside to see what’s awaiting them there? Or that they at least know how to get in?”

“Alright that makes sense” he nodded “But you are only cadets. You shouldn’t forget that before you do something stupid” Carissa looked at him

“Are you saying that we shouldn’t go inside?”

“That wouldn’t be a good idea. I’m responsible for you and I can’t let you go in there alone” she sighed

“Okay. If I find a way to get in there, I will do it. You can accompany me. But I _will_ go in there if I get the chance”

“Okay” the instructor agreed.

“Are we getting bonus points if we come with you?” Richard asked.

“No. And you also won’t ‘lose points’ if you decide to stay here. This has got nothing to do with your tryout. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not responsible for you”

“Okay, I think it’s better if someone stays here, at the shuttle. Maybe we need to leave quickly”

“That makes sense” Syl said “I will be wherever you need me”

“I suppose you come with us right now and each of us should try their luck at one of the different entrances. Then we meet again and discuss what to do” the instructor decided and went back to the shuttle to get communicators for both of the cadets. “Just whatever you do, don’t go inside there alone”

“Okay” they both agreed and then went to their respective entrance. All that happened at Carissa’s place was that two people left the building, but no one entered. Then suddenly Syl contacted her, saying that she had seen someone enter and that Carissa should come to her place. They met and Syl told them about her discovery: as it seemed, a code was needed to open the doors and she had recorded it. “Maybe we should wait until someone else enters to see if it’s just one code or if each person has a different one. Maybe this also works with fingerprint sensors” Carissa said. “In the meantime we can try to make a plan to get in there”

“Are you sure that you want to do this?”

“Yes”

“You know that we have no idea what would happen if they discover us?”

“I know” she said and looked at her fellow cadet “It’s your decision if you want to come or stay”

“As I said, I will do what you need me to do. Wait, there is someone entering” they all turned to the door and tried to record the woman as she typed in a code

“It’s the same one” the instructor decided “But we still don’t know if this works with fingerprints”

“Then let’s go and smuggle us inside as well” Carissa decided, getting up. “Together we can overpower her” she looked at Syl

“Could you stay here at the moment and warn us if you see someone coming?”

“Of course” then she hurried towards the entrance and slipped in just before the door closed. When she turned around she saw that the instructor had not made it inside. She let out a curse under her breath and waited until the woman she had seen enter was out of earshot before she took out her communicator to contact him. But she quickly discovered that there was no signal. She bit her lip. Maybe she could try and open the door to let him in? However, she discovered that she probably couldn’t because you needed to type in a code and she recognized a fingerprint sensor that time. Which meant she had to wait until someone wanted to leave. And if she was already here, she could use the time to have a short look around. She left the entrance area and walked along the corridor, using her tricorder to warn her about anyone approaching. Not too much later that happened and a man in a lab-coat crossed her path. She hid around the corner, her phaser set to stun and at the ready. When he passed her she followed him in secure distance and saw him enter a room after typing a code. Luckily, she was quick enough to record it. Since the man wasn’t wearing lab clothes anymore, she guessed that he obviously intended to leave and she followed him to the entrance and watched him type a code into the device scan his hand. Just before the door opened, she stunned him. Outside she saw the instructor who instantly entered once the door was opened enough.

“What have you been thinking?” he asked.

“I didn’t know you wouldn’t make it” she defended herself. “But I made out a changing room. I’m sure we’d find something to put on there. And as you might have discovered yourself, there’s no signal in here”

“Yes, I know that. I suppose we had best got to the changing room and put on a disguise” she nodded and went to the door, typing in the code.

“I am pretty sure there is system with the codes. They all have nine numbers. The first three are always 257. The second triple was either 149 or 941. And the third one were always numbers like 000 and 001. I bet that each room has like its own number and easy codes are used.”

“That makes sense. The second triple could be whether you enter or leave a room?”

“I guess so” she nodded as they both took a lab coat and when they tried to leave Carissa saw a floor plan with different colored areas and each room had a number. “Look, do you think the first triple of the codes chances when you are in another zone? And the room number is the last one”

“Probably” he replied, studying it.

“We should take a photo of it and make notes. Not that we’re not able to leave in the end” before she had finished speaking she did exactly that and they went back into the corridor. “Where should we go now?” she had a look at the photo “Hey that over there looks like cells… maybe we should try there. I mean, if they really have Spock, he probably will be there”

“Of course. Good thinking” he studied the plan as well. “Blue area. That means there is probably another code. And if we get it wrong it can happen that we sound an alarm. Because this looks like a lab where they do illegal experiments” although the thought had crossed her mind before she swallowed and felt her heart sink.

“Do-do you think he’s alright?”

“Commander Spock? I honestly don’t know. But I hope so”

“Maybe there are other prisoners as well which we could free too?”

“Or we’ll leave that to Starfleet. I think the building would need to be stormed for that. But we probably can smuggle one person out” suddenly Carissa remembered the man she had stunned.

“Shit. If he wakes up, he’ll know someone is here”

“Good, alright, we need to lock him up somewhere or get him out”

“We could get him out and have Syl watch him. Then we just need to stun another worker to have someone’s fingerprints that we can leave when we’re done”

“Okay, let’s go” he nodded and helped her open the door by pressing the man’s palm onto the scanner after Carissa had typed the code. As soon as the doors opened, the instructor contacted Syl to let her know what she had to do and entered before the door closed again and locked them out.

“Alright, now we can go find the cells” they walked in silence, when suddenly someone caught up with them

“Bon soirée”

“Fuck” Carissa muttered. She could only speak about one word French.

“Salut” the instructor said and smiled. Carissa tried to hide the PADD behind his back to start the translator on it, putting it to mute, that she could at least read what their collocutor said. Just in that moment he started talking what translated into ‘Have you seen our new addition?’ she only shook her head. The instructor looked at her questioningly and she only gave a shrug. Again the laborer said something, this time ‘You should go and have a look’. She gave a shrug. ‘Is something wrong?’ her PADD translated the next statement. This time she shook her head and quickly typed something into her PADD, made sure it was translated and then unmuted it to have the man listen because she didn’t want to show him the PADD

“I’m sorry, I’m hoarse and my voice doesn’t work. We would like to see this addition. Where can we find it?” according to her PADD he hoped she’d be better soon and gave her a room number

“Merci” she croaked out and waved goodbye.

“What was this all about?” The instructor asked

“He asked if we had seen their new addition and if we’d like to go and have a look. I’m quite sure I know what he means by that ‘addition’.”

“The Commander”

“Yes. I even got a room number” she retrieved their plan and searched a little before she found it. “There. This lab. We just don’t know the code…”

“We’ll find a solution”

“Maybe we could go and get Cadet Syl and then one of us pretends she’s our alien prisoner from Starfleet who was sent to rescue Spock… but we captured her. Then only one of us should go back and then we pretend that we can’t type the code because she’s struggling to get free? We could also go to the cells with her because they’re in the blue area as well…”

“I suggest that this should be our emergency plan. Maybe we’ll meet someone who goes to the lab anyway. Or we can figure the code out”

“Let’s hope so” she muttered as she put her PADD away and they continued their way. No one was around the lab so they had no choice but to use the PADD to find clues to the code. “It looks like the first triple is 381. But I should go and check this with other doors” so she held the PADD against other doors and her assumption turned out to be wrong “No, it’s 387” she decided and went back to the lab. “Doesn’t look like it’s got fingerprint sensors on the keys either… Let’s try this” she took out her phaser, just in case she was wrong and an alarm would sound. But her worries were for nothing, the code 387 149 021 worked perfectly well and the door swung open “Ha” she turned around to grin at the instructor before she hurried into the room, hoping to find her boyfriend. Then she saw him, restrained against a stretcher and she ran the last few feet until she was beside him. For a second she stared at him, then tore away the infusion on his arm and undid the bonds. “Spock” she whispered, cupping his face after she pushed some bangs out of his face, not even caring that the instructor probably was watching her. Her boyfriend didn’t react and she instantly searched for his pulse. It was there, faintly but she wasn’t too sure if that was normal for Vulcans. She placed a hand over his heart which seemed to beat normally. He was also breathing fine and a sigh of relief left her mouth before she took his hand to press a kiss to it “Please wake up. You’d do us a favor” she turned to the instructor behind her. “We’ve got to get him out of here. How are we supposed to do this? He can’t walk, so even if we disguise him, they’ll know something is wrong…”

“We could pretend he has to be brought to his cell”

“What if someone catches us near the exit? Our lie will be obvious then”

“Right…”

“I’ve got something. We disguise him and when we’re caught, we claim that Spock has escaped somehow and attacked our colleague” she pointed at Spock “and now we need to get him out as quickly as possible”

“That could work. But we’d have to learn to say it in French”

“Oh shit” she took out her PADD “Well, let’s do this…” she started the translation program again “What could have happened? Ah. ‘Our new subject has escaped and attacked him. He went that way’” she looked at the instructor “and then you say: ‘We need to get him to the hospital. Go get this bastard’ in French. Maybe we’re lucky and Spock will come around earlier and we don’t even have to do this…Ah no wait… I’ve got a better idea. We just claim that he’s got unconscious and hit his head. Then you say that he should go to the hospital. I mean, then hell won’t broke loose because they need to find an escaped prisoner” the instructor agreed to the second idea and soon she listened to the translation and practiced saying it a couple of times before it sounded almost like the original. “That has to be good enough. Now you. We can only hope they won’t ask us anything else” while the instructor practiced his part, she went looking around for something they could use to hide Spock’s hair and ears.

“Good, I think I’m ready” he said “If they ask something or try to help we’ll just have to tell them that we need to go to a hospital again”

“Right” she glanced at her unconscious boyfriend “What are we gonna do about his ears? I feel like anything we do will be suspicious…”

“We could just get him a lab coat and rip off a piece which we press against his head and when others come we just pretend he’s bleeding?”

“That could work”

“But his hair still looks…. I don’t know unhuman” she smirked

“Give me a second” she started tousling his hair in all direction, hoping it would make him look less serious.

“What are you doing? I don’t think you should…”

“I’ve done it before” she mumbled and removed her hand to have a look at the mess on his head “Yeah that looks much better” she grinned and was doing everything to hold herself back from taking a photo. The instructor came back with another lab coat and they had to work together to put it on. Then they had to get the Vulcan off the stretcher what was even more difficult and Carissa doubted they’d be able to carry him to the shuttle like this. “I was thinking that if we see only one person we should stun them. But if there are more we need to tell our little story. If we do get caught, we will need to leave as quickly as possible” she said “Maybe we should contact Syl and Richard as soon as we get out that they shall prepare everything for our departure.”

“Yes, we should. And if there’s no other way, we leave him behind to save ourselves” Carissa swallowed. But she knew he was right, it was what Spock would want her to do. Before they left, she quickly grabbed the infusion bag and stuffed it in her coat. She had to know what was inside, maybe they could even analyze it before they got him into a hospital so that they had an antidote quicker if necessary “Ready?” the instructor asked as each of them had one of Spock’s arms around their shoulders. She gave a nod and they started walking. To distract herself, Carissa tried to find out what her boyfriend would say if he knew they were dragging him outside. He definitely wouldn’t like it. Unfortunately, they did come across two people, but they were alone so it was enough to stun them and continue a bit quicker that they’d be gone before they came round. Somehow Carissa couldn’t believe that they made it to the exit without being noticed and she was sure that something was bound to happen but then they were already outside and the instructor contacted Richard to tell him to get everything ready before letting Syl know they were coming back and had to leave. The cadet came towards them to help them carry Spock and they quickly reached the shuttle where the instructor was getting ready for launch while the two females secured Spock in a seat. When no one was looking, she pressed a quick kiss to his hair.

“Everything will be fine” she promised before they had to take a seat as well for the departure. “Where do you think the closest hospital is? I mean we shouldn’t take him to the closest one but not too far either”

“Lyon should be quite close. I’m sure they have a good hospital” Richard said.

“Good” the instructor agreed and entered the coordinates. “We should be arriving in half an hour”

“Okay” Carissa nodded and got up once it was safe enough to do so because she wanted to analyze the infusion. “Sorry rocks” she mumbled as she tipped them out of the container they were in now

“What are you doing?” Richard protested “That are my rocks”

“I know. We need the jar to examine this” she held up the infusion bag

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know but they were giving him an infusion with that. We should find out what it is”

“Can’t the people at the hospital do this?”

“Sure but we got the instruments to do so too. And it’s better to save time that we don’t risk anything” she glanced at Spock, now getting worried that he still hadn’t woken up. “Hey uh… could someone who has a bit more of a plan with medicine check up on him?”

“I’m not that bad… but I have no idea what results are normal for him”

“Just tell me what you measure and I’ll try to tell you what I think”

“How would you want to know if this is good or bad?”

“I just do. Usually you don’t question my knowledge either”

“I’m just wondering how you can have learned that much about Vulcans”

“Just check up on him, please?”

“Okay, okay” he got up “You could almost mean you’d actually care about him” it felt like a pang to her chest. Did really no one else care about him?

“What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t you care?” she hissed

“Well he was my professor, it’s not like I know him any better. But oh right wait, you’re friends, aren’t you?”

“Yes we are” she replied “Which is why I will do anything that is necessary to save him”

-oO0Oo-

When they arrived at the hospital they stayed in the waiting area to hear how he was doing. It felt like hours passed until a nurse came to tell them that Spock was alright and probably would wake up in the course of the night.

“Can I go and see him?” Carissa asked

“I am not sure eef one of ‘is cadets is something ‘e can need right now”

“But…” she paused “I’m his girlfriend” she whispered and glanced at the man in front of her “Please, I just want to go and check on him, then I can leave. I understand if you don’t want people to stay here overnight”

“It is allowed. For family and friends”

“So does this count?” he nodded

“You can go to ‘im” she gave a nod and thanked him.

“Okay uh… I think I’ll spend the night here. You can go back to the shuttle and finish your experiments”

“What about you? What about the assignment?”

“I honestly don’t care about this anymore. I just want to stay with him and make sure he’s fine” they stared at her and the instructor asked if she was sure “Yes, I’m sure. Maybe it’s better for the doctors too, it’s likely that we know more about Vulcans than they do… You can come and pick me up in the morning. I’ll try to finish my experiment on the way home” she knew that she probably would have been expected to continue her work like nothing had happened but she knew herself that she wouldn’t be able to concentrate until she had seen with her own eyes that her boyfriend was alright. The other cadets said goodbye and left while Carissa was led to the Vulcan’s room. She dragged a chair beside his bed, took a seat and gently took his hand. For a while she just sat there in silence before she leaned over him, trying to adjust his hair a little “There we go that looks more like you” she chuckled and kissed his forehead. Then she started telling him about the tryout and what she had been doing before they went to search for him. Suddenly she felt a slight squeeze on her hand and she shot up, instantly looking at his face and saw his eyes fluttering. “Hey” she greeted, placing a hand on his cheek. She heard him mumble something and she couldn’t say if it was something Vulcan or if she just didn’t hear it properly. “How-how are you?” he slowly closed his eyes again before he managed to keep them open. He only looked at her “Okay, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to or can’t… just can you… I don’t know… nod or wink twice if you’re in pain?”

“N-no I am not” he mumbled. Letting out a breath of relief, she stroked his hair “I cannot recall every incident that occurred”

“Oh well… I guess that’s normal. Maybe you’ll remember later on. I mean you only just woke up. Give it some time”

“There is no time” he tried to sit up.

“Hey, shh.” She placed a hand on his chest to prevent him from sitting up further.

“This is important” he insisted “Carissa, I need you to inform the healers about the substance they…”

“They know” Carissa said “When we got you out, I took the infusion with me and I analyzed it on the way here. You’ve already received an antidote to this little torture liquid…” he blinked, obviously in surprise.

“Who are you referring to by the pronoun ‘we’?”

“My group and I. Well, actually it only was the instructor and I who went inside this lab. Syl and Richard waited outside and Theodore stayed in Geneva” there was a slight frown on his face.

“Have you risked your life on my account?”

“Oh great, I shouldn’t have told you” she muttered before he started his lecture about how dangerous this had been. She pressed a finger to his lips “Shh. You can scold me later on. I know what I did was dangerous, illogical and only based on feelings. But you need to rest now, okay?”

“Would you tell me how you were able to free me?” she pursed her lips.

“That’s quite a long story. What about a deal? I start telling you how we noticed you were in trouble and then you try to get some sleep and I tell you the rest tomorrow”

“If my suggestion is correct it is already the next day. Do you have an idea about how long I have been held captive?”

“Oh uh… I suppose you were attacked sometime before 8 PM yesterday. And we arrived at hospital at around 0230 in the morning, and the way from this lab here was about half an hour. So yeah, that’s about it. Though I believe they needed some time to get you to this lab, maybe an hour or a little more. Depends on which kind of transport they used. One thing is for sure, it was floor transportation”

“Then my calculations have been only slightly off” she smiled but soon got serious again

“Did they hurt you?”

“I suppose not”

“What-what did they do to you?”

“I cannot answer this question for certain either. However, I do believe you are more informed than I am since you have seen more of the place where I have been held captive”

“Oh right… it looked like some prison or science lab. I’m quite sure they wanted to do some experiments in the morning”

“That is what I supposed as well” she gave a nod and sat down on the edge of his bed, placing a hand on his cheek. “Did you inform Starfleet about the incidents?”

“Of course. We did that before we went to Geneva to see where you are… But I think it’s better if I tell you everything from the beginning” just when she was at the part where they tried to find traces of a fight on the way to the restaurant, she heard a voice from outside

“What’s that supposed to mean, I’m not authorized to see him? I’m a doctor, damn it” the door opened and Leonard entered the room. “Carissa, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your friends at the tryout?”

“I uh… they went back to wherever we were to finish their stuff”

“Was I the reason you chose to stay behind?”

“Yes” she admitted. Jim appeared at Leonard’s side and glanced at Spock.

“Glad to see you up and about”

“Seeing that I am in a bed you cannot judge my wellbeing in that way”

“Oh he is well” Leonard mumbled and came closer to the bed “Nevertheless, I will examine you properly.” Spock tried to stop him, claiming that the personal of the hospital must have done it before. “Hush. You just said yourself that we can’t know you’re okay” it was obvious that the Vulcan wasn’t pleased but he let it happen after the doctor helped him sit up upon Spock’s request. “And now you” he told Carissa

“What? Me? Why?”

“We have heard that you went into that lab… we need to make sure you’re alright”

“I am alright. Nothing has happened to me” she protested.

“This doesn’t change anything. I’m going to examine you, even if I have to knock you out first”

“I will not let you do such a thing” her boyfriend said sternly “But the doctor is right. You should undergo an examination” she sighed

“You’re not leaving me a chance, are you?”

“Nope”

“Then get over with it” she mumbled as she took a seat on the chair again that he could examine her.

“What happened?” Jim asked

“Quite a lot. I’ve already told Spock a part of it but I can sum up the beginning. You can read the rest in my report”

“Your report?” Jim asked

“Uh yes. I suppose I need to do one, right?”

“Actually, this will be the task of your instructor. At least if he was with you all the time”

“Yeah, he was”

“Good. Then you needn’t bother about it. Although I truly appreciate your willingness to take responsibility.”

“Thank you.” Carissa said and quickly summed up what happened before they went to Geneva and then told them what happened afterwards.

“Damn it, I want you on my ship even more” Jim muttered.

“But I probably won’t pass this tryout… I mean I neglected my task and didn’t finish”

“Technically, you collected your stuff, made an analysis in the shuttle and as long as you continue the work aboard the Enterprise when you’re back you did everything that was requested…”

“What analysis? I didn’t finish it”

“I’m not talking about the one on the bugs…” Jim said “You successfully completed one on the infusion they gave Spock though. Hell, you even found the right antidote. And you still got the way back to San Francisco to have a look at your bugs if you really want”

“Oh, I haven’t thought about it that way… what about the fact that I chose staying with Spock over the task?”

“As the Captain has declared, you have completed all of your tasks that were supposed to be finished in Europe prior to your decision. After all you have been informed that you are free to do something of your choice once you have done the assigned tasks”

“Yeah and it’s better you stayed, just imagine something had been wrong with him and the healers would have had no idea what to do because they’ve got no inkling about Vulcans…” Carissa smiled

“You’re not just saying this because… well I’m a friend and all?”

“Hell no. You completed your tasks. That is a fact. Besides, you fucking led the whole rescue mission! Don’t try to deny it, from what I heard, almost everything that was decided was your idea”

“But I should have listened to the instructor… I mean I probably shouldn’t have asked him before I did stuff”

“No. This was an emergency. And as you know, in an emergency every second can count. Why are you always thinking so badly of yourself? You should know that what you did is right because otherwise you wouldn’t have done it. You’re just incapable of doing something if you know it’s wrong. That’s probably one of the reasons that you’re able to put up with our favorite hobgoblin” Leonard explained. A nurse entered and gasped, saying something in French that sounded quite upset.

“Uh what was that?” Jim asked “Do you speak English?”

“What are you doing ‘ere? Ze patient needs silence”

“Excuse me but I’m a doctor” Leonard said

“’e needs silence” the nurse repeated. Jim tried to protest too, whereupon the nurse allowed one of them to stay.

“I guess I definitely should leave” Carissa said “You probably need to discuss something anyways” she looked at Jim “Besides I’ve been with him before. It wouldn’t be fair of me to stay longer. You’re his friends too”

“Don’t you think Spock should chose who he wants to stay?” Leonard said

“Oh come on, you’re only saying that because you know he can only choose you, being a doctor and all” Jim protested.

“As a matter of fact, there is nothing doctor McCoy could do for me. Therefore, his presence is unnecessary”

“Ha” Jim said as he crossed his arms. Carissa nodded and got up

“I’ll be in the waiting room” she said as she kissed Spock’s forehead. “I’m just glad you’re fine” he took her hand in his

“I would prefer if you remained with me”

“Really? Me? You want me to stay?” she asked unbelievingly.

“Yeah that’s what he said” Jim said “Well have fun spending the night on that chair. We’ll get us a nice hotel. Or is there anything you need, Spock?” the Vulcan expressed his wish to be transferred to San Francisco in the morning

“I’ll see what I can do” Leonard promised.

-oO0Oo-

As promised, Carissa’s group came to pick her up in the morning. As it seemed, Leonard had managed to persuade the doctors that Spock should be brought back to America as soon as possible because he was allowed to leave with them. However, he did not like that the instructor tried to help him walk to the shuttle

“Lieutenant, I assure you that I am perfectly able to walk without your assistance” behind them, Carissa grinned.

“I was told to take care of you”

“That is something I can do on my own as well” she was quite sure that that instructor rolled his eyes but he nodded. However, their fight continued when they reached the shuttle. Namely, when Spock took a seat at the front to steer the shuttle

“What are you doing? You’re on sick leave, you can’t fly this thing”

“My condition does not compromise my abilities to fly the shuttlecraft”

“That’s not what I meant. You really shouldn’t do it. What if you… I don’t know faint or whatever?” Spock only glanced at him and Carissa was able to imagine his mien. She walked past them and took a seat.

“I don’t believe it” Richard muttered “We saved his life and all he cares about is flying that damn thing that he could kill us all!” Carissa looked at him, then pointed at her ear before nodding her head towards the front where Spock sat, to warn her classmate that he could hear him. Richard only shrugged “I don’t care. That ungrateful snob can hear me, he didn’t even thank us.” Carissa shrugged and let out a sigh, not wanting to start another fight because the instructor had just threatened Spock to forcefully remove him from the chair if he didn’t leave right now, to which Spock only replied that this would be an attack on a superior. Finally, she had enough and got up

“Lieutenant, if the Commander won’t help you, you will fly it on your own, is that correct? So I don’t think it makes a difference if he helps you or not. If something happens you can still do it on your own” they both looked at her

“It’s not like I don’t want his help… but he officially is on sick leave and if something happens, I can be held responsible”

“That is no entirely correct. Responsibility always resides in the highest ranking officer, which I am, thus I will take full responsibility should something happen”

“And of what use is this if you get us all killed?”

“Lieutenant, I think neither of us will be able to change his mind, so we’d best accept it and get going. Unless you want to remove him with force and become guilty of an offence” she crossed her arms as she looked at both of them sternly.

“Cadet Wiley is correct and I can assure that in the highly improbable case I should become aware that I will not be able to fly the shuttlecraft anymore I will dedicate the full command to you”

“There we go” Carissa said as she went back to her seat. Before they started, Spock turned around to inform the cadets that they should take a seat and also thanked them for saving him. When he turned around Carissa stared at Richard, as if she expected him to apologize for his words earlier.

-oO0Oo-

A couple of days after they were back, Carissa was called to Starfleet command because of the events during the tryout. Although a part of her knew that it probably wasn’t anything bad because she hadn’t done anything she shouldn’t, she still was worried. Her nervousness increased when she saw that the room was full of people, not only cadets but Starfleet officers as well. She swallowed when she was called forward and tried not to look at anyone. To her surprise, they made it quick and Carissa couldn’t believe her ears what they told her after listing her deeds.

“For this reasons we have decided to make you Lieutenant Junior grade upon your graduation.” while everyone was clapping she tried to process the words.

“I… Thank you” she stammered and suddenly was smiling broadly “I’m relieved to hear this, I feared I would be in trouble”

“For which reasons?” at this she shrugged

“Don’t know. Because I kind of just took over the lead and brought us all into danger”

“That is inevitable at times. Besides, no one was injured, among other thanks to you” she nodded. Shortly after, the end of the meeting was announced and before Carissa knew it, she was surrounded by congratulants. Everyone was shaking her hand (or hugged her) and congratulated her. Finally, she got some peace and went to her friends. They talked for a while before suddenly Jim Kirk appeared behind them

“Would you girls mind if I kidnap her for a while?”

“Of course not” Nicole said and pushed her towards the Captain. Somehow she was glad that Jim led her out of the room.

“Alright, I wanted to tell you something and I guess today’s the best day to do so… I really hope you’re still interested in a job because I chose you”

“Wait… you-you want me? On your ship?”

“For the five year mission, yes.”


	15. It's a Wrap

She let out a shriek and grabbed his wrists in excitement.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you” she cried as she started hopping on the spot.

“You’re welcome, welcome, welcome.” he said with a grin.

“But-but not just because of what I did?”

“No, your work also was one of the best. But yes, you taking the lead on the rescue mission is another reason”

“If no one else did something I had to…” she said and shrugged

“Well, actually your instructor was about to do something too, at least go to Geneva to investigate… but when he saw that you were taking the lead he decided to let you. He’d have stopped you if you did something rushed”

“Oh” she looked down “well, I could have thought of that… I just got mad because no one else seemed to care. I mean, the other cadets all were like ‘That’s not our job. We could not pass this thing if we save him’. All they cared about was to get a place on that ship”

“And you can be assured that I don’t want such people on my ship. Those who are only focused on themselves or their own benefit”

“So I guess no one else from my group made it?”

“I can’t say this yet. I only have chosen another one beside you”

“Oh okay”

“Well, I think I should bring you back to your friends, right?” she shrugged

“Yeah. Uhm... can I tell them already or is your decision not official yet?”

“It’s decided but not official. So, you can tell them if you want. But just don’t… shout it through the room or whatever” she smiled

“Okay”

-oO0Oo-

She was just telling her friends more about her final project when she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she spun around she saw her boyfriend and broke out in a broad smile. In the last second she held herself back from hugging him and squeezed his hand instead.

“It’s good to see you. Sorry I couldn’t come and see you in the hospital”

“You do not need to apologize”

“I didn’t know you’d come today. I mean… I thought you were still in the hospital”

“No, I am not. I have been released at 1012 hours”

“Oh alright. Glad to see you’re fine” she placed a hand on his arm.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” she heard Jim as he came towards them “You’re supposed to be at home!”

“After I have learned about Carissa’s promotion myself, I have decided that I could not miss it. As it seems I have missed most of it, however” there was a reproachful undertone in his voice

“You-you didn’t tell him?” she turned to Jim, putting her hands on his hips

“He’s still on sick leave. I don’t think this was the right thing for him”

“And you didn’t think of the fact that maybe I wanted him to be here?” Carissa growled.

“Well he’s here, isn’t he?” she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah but only because he managed to find out himself”

“It is not that much of a matter to me but I can understand if it upsets you” he glanced at Jim “However, something tells me that her promotion is not the only information I have been withheld”

“Well uh…” Jim said and smiled “Meet our newest crewmember” he gestured at Carissa. Spock raised an eyebrow when he looked back at her, making her grin

“Is this true?” she nodded

“Yes, he told me earlier”

“It is pleasant to hear that you will be accompanying us on the five-year mission”

“In human speech; you’re glad to have her around, huh?” Jim nudged his friend’s side “Well, you’re welcome”

“I suppose your decision was based on facts?”

“Hey” Jim protested “In contrast to you I don’t have a reason to give her preferential treatment”

“And what makes you conclude that I should give her preferential treatment?”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re that daft”

“Captain, I assure you that I know what you intended to imply but I fail to understand why this fact should make me do such a thing”

“Forget it” he sighed

-oO0Oo-

Carissa had the feeling that the rest of her last semester flew by like nothing. Before she knew it she presented her final project and was taking her last exams. Her graduation was getting closer and closer and she visited Spock to ask him something.

“Would-would you accompany me to the graduation ceremony? I-I mean officially, as my boyfriend?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I will”

“But… then everyone will know about us. Is-is that okay for you?”

“If it was not, I would have declined your request” she smiled

“Thanks. This really means a lot to me. I mean not just that you’re fine with others knowing but also that you come with me” she placed a hand on his arm, squeezing it gently.

“I do not see a reason why I should refuse to do so”

“You could be busy… or not willing to let others know. Or you don’t want to go to the party”

“If you remember, I have promised to accompany you to this celebration prior to the last end of term festivity”

“Oh I remember now” she chuckled “But uhm, this won’t be the actual party yet. I mean… it’s only the official part. But the party will be afterwards. And you don’t have to come if you don’t like”

“I believe that after the incidents last year it would be wiser if I came with you to ensure that you are safe” she smiled

“That’s sweet” she pecked his cheek

“Shall I come to your dormitory before the celebration to bring you there?”

“Uhm, if you want? We can also just meet there, at the celebration”

“Seeing as my way will lead past your dormitory it would be logical if we meet there”

“Oh okay” she nodded “What time? Half an hour before it starts?”

“Agreed”

“So… you have anything planned for the evening or shall we spend it together?”

-oO0Oo-

Somehow the brunette didn’t know if she was more nervous because of her graduation or the fact that Spock would officially accompany her for the first time.

“What-what if the other cadets won’t like him? I mean… they probably don’t but what if they think badly of me because of that?”

“Then they’re stupid” Nialaxe assured her “Anyone could be happy to be with Spock, he really is a good man”

“I just don’t think it’s fair… they don’t like him because he’s not human. The same with you. Sometimes I really wonder why some people applied here if they have something against non-humans”

“Well, the worst of them don’t even make it through the first semester, right?”

“Yeah, luckily”

“Besides… most of those people don’t actually have something against us. They’re just jealous that we can do something they can’t. That’s also the reasons you have been bullied; your grades were better than theirs”

“Probably” she shrugged. There was a knock at the door “Oh shit that must be him” she muttered and quickly slipped into her cadet uniform one last time and grabbed the bag with her dress before she opened the door. “Hi” she greeted, getting on her tiptoes to peck his lips. “See you later” she shouted at Nia before closing the door and taking the arm her boyfriend offered her. “I really can’t believe I made it. I mean not that I passed the exams, but that my time at the Academy is over. If the five years of the mission pass that quickly too we’ll be back before we know it” he looked at her and raised an eyebrow “Yes, I know that doesn’t make sense but it’s just a saying” she giggled. On their way to the celebration, Carissa started telling him about her imagination of what the mission would be like and what she hoped to see. Before they entered the room, Carissa took a deep breath and had a look at Spock “If you want we can just go in without touching?” she suggested “I mean if that would make you feel more comfortable”

“Is this the case for you?”

“I don’t know… part of me fears what others might say”

“Then why did you request me to accompany you?”

“It’s not like I think this is a mistake… I uh… how do I explain? Maybe we shouldn’t just show them right now because otherwise everyone will be asking me what’s going on during the ceremony”

“I can see the logic behind that and if this is your wish I will respect it” she bit her lip

“You know what? Fuck them, let them think what they want” she looked at him “I belong with you and they shall see that. Let’s go” she gently tugged on his arm and they entered. “I think I should get to the front, with the other graduates” as they made their way through the crowd, she could feel the eyes on them but she didn’t care. In fact, she was happy to have Spock at her side. As it seemed, some other cadets stood there with their friends and partners as well. Nicole and Lucie waved at her, then came over to hug their friend

“Can you believe we did it?” Nicole shrieked.

“No, can you?”

“No way. God, I can’t believe that it’s over”

“Mhm. And in two weeks’ time, I will be in outer space”

“Oh right. Are you excited?”

“Not really. I mean not yet. There’s first the graduation ceremony and all on my mind”

“Understandable” not much later the ceremony started and the guests were asked to have a seat. After a short speech, the graduates were called forward one by one to collect their diplomas. Carissa had to hold herself back from ripping the envelope open just now and when she took a seat again, she just placed it on her chair that she wouldn’t be tempted to do it before it was over. Once everyone had their envelopes, the three best graduates were called up and somehow Carissa was relieved that she only was the second best with an overall score of 84%. The head of the Academy congratulated them again and then were told to have a seat again.

“As every year, we have graduates that render themselves conspicuous through special services, abilities or achievements will be rewarded by instant promotion. This year, we have four of them” and again Carissa was called forward, this time with three others. Nevertheless, she was the only one who had been called up twice after collecting her diploma. And once again she got congratulations and received a little present before she could sit back

“I really hope I can stay seated now ‘til this is over” she muttered to Nicole. Her worries were out of place since there was only another short speech before the guests were prompted to applaud again. Then the official part was over and Nicole, Lucie and Carissa hugged each other

“On three” Lucie squealed before they opened their envelopes.

“What you’ve got?” Nicole asked, peeking at Lucie’s score

“76%”

“Uh great. I’ve got 68%. And you, Cassie? Oh wait, 84%, wasn’t it?” she nodded

“That’s awesome. But hey, you studied like mad. Besides you got help from a certain Commander” she winked at her

“Speaking of a certain Commander…” Lucie said, glancing past Carissa who turned around to see Spock standing behind her

“Hi” she breathed and tuned around to him, not really knowing how to react. Of course, she wanted to fall round his neck but she doubted he would want that in the middle of all these people. It surprised her, when he hugged her instead. Quickly she returned the hug and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“My congratulations” he said softly

“Thanks” a bit too soon for her liking he pulled away before turning to her friends “Ensign Summer, Ensign Clarke”

“Oh God, I haven’t even been an Ensign for half an hour and someone already called me one”

“It would be incorrect to call you a cadet after your graduation” Spock replied

“Cassie, you know what? I love your boyfriend and his formality” at this, the Vulcan raised an eyebrow. Suddenly Carissa heard a familiar voice and saw her parents making their way towards her. She had to bite back a sigh because she knew this was going to be quite embarrassing.

“I can’t believe it. My baby graduated. As one of the best and she’s promoted”

“We’re so, so proud of you, darling” her mother said when she pulled her into a hug.

“Ugh Mum, you’re squashing me”

“Hush, it’s not even that tight” Carissa let out a little groan. Her father joined the females in the hug and Carissa quickly got uncomfortable. Her mother started peppering kisses to her hair and assured her again how proud they were. Somehow she couldn’t believe it. Only weeks ago, after Carissa had told them that she would go on a five year mission, her parents were against it and almost urged her to come back home. Now they were happy for her. Unless, of course, they only wanted her to return home anyway “We’ve booked three ticket for the home journey” yep, that was it

“Why?”

“Oh well you’re coming with us of course”

“No Mum, I already told you, we’ll be leaving in two weeks”

“But-but you won’t even have holidays then”

“I will. I had my last exam on Tuesday, and I’ve got nothing to do until we leave. Okay, there are a few things I need to do, but that’s maybe like one day in total. Besides, I won’t be having that much holidays now anyway”

“But you don’t have to do this. You’ve got so many other talents”

“Mum” Carissa protested

“If you allow me to interrupt, your daughter will achieve greatness with her services for Starfleet, I am sure of this” her mother turned to Spock.

“But she’s still our little baby. What if she gets hurt out there?”

“I do not deny that Starfleet has its risks but I am certain that she will defy every of these” her mother didn’t look too happy.

“Yeah” Nicole agreed, “Just take her promotion for example. Do you know why she was promoted to Junior Lieutenant?”

“Because she did well on her tryout” she saw that Spock had raised an eyebrow.

“This is not then entire truth” he spoke “She has also led a successful rescue mission at that time”

“A rescue mission? How that? What happened?” she turned to Carissa “Were you attacked and kidnapped?”

“No, we were not” she quickly said “But uh…. It’s a longer story. I guess It’s better if I tell you another time”

“Another time? Carissa, I swear if you’ve been attacked on your tryout in Europe, I will hold the people who sent you there responsible”

“Mum, for the last time nothing happened to us”

“Why the rescue mission then?” she glanced at Spock who luckily explained the matter himself “And you just thought you’d break into this secret science lab to save him? Do you have any idea what they could have done to you?”

“Not much, they only did research on non-humans”

“And do you think they would have let you walk out of there just like this?”

“We were careful” she moaned. “Please, Mum, I really don’t want to talk about it now and ruin my good mood today” her mother nodded and let go of her before poking a finger into the Vulcan’s chest

“You, however, owe me an explanation, young man. How could that happen? And why were cadets sent to get you?”

“Oh God, Mum, it’s not his fault! He didn’t choose for this to happen. And it was our decision to save him”

“Then why did Starfleet allow this?”

“What do I know? Go ask them”

“Oh I will” Carissa rolled her eyes. Nia approached them and wrapped her arms around her dorm mate

“Well done… I’m happy for you but I’m gonna miss you”

“Hey, I’m sure your new dorm mate will be just as nice as me. Besides, it will be a first year so now you can play her mother”

“I doubt anyone would want to share a room with me” Carissa cleared her throat “Yeah well, except for you. But you’re different and you were kinda used to this, having lived with a Vulcan and all”

“Okay that’s true” she shrugged.

“Hey uh” another graduate approached them “the others are already heading to the party. You folks coming?”

“A party?” Rachel asked with a frown

“Yes of course”

“What kind of party?”

“Just… us cadets celebrating with others that we did it. It’s gonna be fun”

“It sound like an excuse to get drunk”

“So what?”

“So what? You’re asking ‘so what’?”

“Mum, please”

“Ask that boyfriend of yours, I am sure he can say you how… illogical, childish and stupid this is” she glanced at Spock, who agreed that humans and a tendency to get drunk without a reason and what he thought of that. Carissa rolled her eyes

“Fine, nice game. Play him against me. But I’ll go to that party anyway, I’m of age, you can’t stop me”

“Spock, you need to talk sense into her”

“Your daughter is right, Mrs Wiley. She is allowed to do as she wishes. Besides, I have promised to be her accompaniment to the festivity and I will not break my word. I can assure you that I will take care of her and ensure that nothing is to happen to her.” Carissa crossed her arms

“There, he doesn’t understand it either but he supports me” she placed a hand on his arm and looked at him “Let’s go” she turned back to her friends “You coming?”

“Yes, I will” Nicole said

“I think I’ll be waiting for Tanja”

“Isn’t she here yet?” Nicole got on her tiptoes to have a look “I’d love to finally meet her”

“No, I haven’t seen her since the ceremony started. Well, I guess I’ll just go and look for her. See you guys later”

“Okay. Then let’s go get changed and then he leave” Carissa said to Spock and Nicole “God, I can’t believe that we’re taking off the uniform of the last time”

“Oh right… we almost should do something special” Nicole wiggled her eyebrows

“Oh please tell me you’re not thinking of something like… that”

“What do you mean with ‘that’?” Carissa raised her eyebrows and slapped Nicole’s arm

“Just shut up” she turned to her boyfriend “We need to go and get changed in the toilet… do you want to wait here or outside?”

“On the outside”

“Okay, see you in a couple of minutes” she nodded and left with her friend.

-oO0Oo-

Of course the party had already started when they arrived. Someone who seemed to be drunk already handed each of them a pre-opened bottle, better said tried to because Spock refused to take his. Once inside, the girls looked around until they saw other cadets they knew and joined them.

“Oh hi there. Can you believe we did it?”

“Nope” they talked for a while and soon Carissa felt bad because Spock just stood beside them and she had the feeling he almost looked a bit lost. She placed a hand on his arm

“I’m sorry” she whispered “If you want, we can do something together”

“This is your festivity and therefore you can do as you choose”

“But I want to spend some time with you. That’s why I asked you to come. Tell me… is there something you’d like to do?”

“Carissa, I assure you that you do not have to bother about me, I do not have a problem with standing beside you”

“Really?” he agreed “okay. But we’ll do something later on” she squeezed his arm before she let go of him and turned back to her collocutor

“Who’s that? I mean, I know him, but is he here with you?” she got asked

“Yes, we’re here together”

“Oh okay” after a while, Carissa saw that Jim had come as well and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Come on” she told her boyfriend “Let’s get you some better company”

“Why would you not be appropriate company?”

“I never said that, just that maybe Jim is better for you…” she tugged on his arm and told Nicole where they went.

“Sure. Have fun you two” she patted Carissa’s back before she walked away. On their way towards the Captain, a male cadet approached them and handed her a glass. She was just about to take a sip, when Spock grabbed her wrist.

“Seeing what has happened last year, it might be wiser if you refrain from drinking anything that has been opened before you received it”

“Oh, right” she ran after the cadet, tapped his shoulder and gave him back the glass “I don’t like it” she said and then returned to her boyfriend and took his hand. She looked at him “If you’re not okay with that I can let go” she offered

“I have no issue with you holding my hand and I believe it is not inappropriate at all under these circumstances” he glanced around and when Carissa followed his eyes, she saw quite a few couples that were making out. So them holding hand really was one of the most innocent things. They reached Jim and some of his friends

“Look who it is, our new Junior Lieutenant and my First Officer” Jim grinned and Carissa wasn’t sure if he was already a bit intoxicated “Come and have a drink with us”

“Sure” Carissa agreed and looked at her boyfriend “It doesn’t have to be anything with alcohol. We can get you something else”

“I do not want to consume a beverage now”

“Okay” she nodded

“What for you, fair lady?”

“First of all, I’d like you to stop calling me fair lady or whatever”

“But I’ve got to find a nice nickname for you now that you’re a member of my crew”

“What about Carrie? You used to call me that”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“Nah” she shook her head

“What about you?” he turned to the Commander “Are you okay with me calling her nicknames?”

“I do not see the logic behind such names but feel free to use them if you wish to do so”

“Even though she’s your girlfriend? Hey, is that the reason you don’t call her baby or what do I know?”

“Why would I be calling her a baby? She is of age, which makes the nickname inaccurate”

“Okay, what about honey?”

“I cannot see a reason why I should be calling her after a viscous substance produced by Apoidea”

“Good, we’ll find something… sweetheart?”

“I doubt that a heart’s taste or smell can be described as sweet”

“Love or my love?”

“This refers to an emotion and Carissa is not one”

“Okay, uhm… it doesn’t have to be anything usual. I mean, it only needs to be… well something that is accurate and that describes her”

“Are you referring to a term like ‘human’ or ‘female’?”

“Err not really. I mean there are so many other humans and females out there. You want something special, right?”

“Then I suppose ‘my girlfriend’ would be an appropriate nickname?”

“Hm well… that could work. I mean it is correct and can only apply to her. But that is why girlfriend isn’t a nickname. Because a nickname has to be a bit silly or special. Why don’t you use another form of her name? Like Cas, Issa or Car or Rissa? Oh, or a mixture of her first and family name: Cailey?”

“I doubt that it was her parents’ intention that the letters of her name are brought into another constellation”

“Okay, you do know that everyone’s calling me Jim, right? Which isn’t my real name either… Maybe we should just ask Carissa what she wants you to call her”

“Oh no, I’m fine, really” she turned to Spock “I love the way you say my name. It has something calming and loving in it. For me that’s almost better than any nickname” she squeezed his hand and beamed at him.

“If you say so. Do you have nicknames for him?”

“Nope” she shook her head. “We already had a discussion about nicknames once and he admitted that he prefers it if I call him by his name”

“Alright. Now, back to our drinks…”

-oO0Oo-

As the evening went on, Carissa left Spock with the crew of the Enterprise and joined her friends again. They were approached by Evan

“Hey, I’ve got a plan”

“Huh?”

“We need to get rid of the chaperone”

“Chaperone?” Nicole asked looking around

“Yeah. Professor Pointy-ear on ten o’clock”

“What?” Carissa choked out

“I’m sure someone sent him to see that we don’t do anything stupid… why else would he be here? But listen, I got a brilliant plan. We make sure he gets drunk and then…”

“Vulcans can’t get drunk” Carissa said “Besides, he was invited here as a guest”

“And how would you know?”

“Because…” she took a deep breath “I was the one who invited him”

“Why would you do that? Are you afraid because of what happened last year?”

“No”

“Why then? And more importantly, why would he agree if not to play watchdog?”

“He agreed because I asked him to accompany me as my… boyfriend”

“Wait you-you asked him on a date?”

“Not really. I just wanted him to come because I knew that most others would come with their partners”

“Okay wait a second… you’re telling me that he” he pointed at the Vulcan who was still sitting with Jim and the others “is that boyfriend you’re speaking of sometimes?”

“Yes, he is” his eyes widened

“What? How? When-when did you get together?”

“Third year, after the incidents with Admiral Marcus” technically it wasn’t a lie, they had gotten together then, just not for the first time but she wouldn’t tell him that.

“You’re actually dating a Vulcan?”

“I am or is that too difficult for you to understand?”

“No, I just have no idea how you’re supposed to do… this with one of those”

“First of all, I want you to stop talking that disdainful about my boyfriend or his race, is that clear? Secondly, it does work perfectly fine but I am not telling you about it” she crossed her arms and glared at him.

“But does he even love you? What if he only uses you?”

“Oh come one, as if you’d care”

“I just don’t want someone like him to take advantage on you” she shook her head

“Then you’ll be happy to know that this isn’t the case. He can be the most caring person I know, you just need to be able to read the signs”

“But does he even touch you?”

“He does but only when we’re alone. Usually it’s me who touches him but he told me that he’s fine with it. Why am I even telling you this, it’s none of your concern…”

“But this is interesting. Is he always so formal and… - I don’t know - himself?”

“I have a feeling that he is a bit different with me”

“In what way?”

“Well… I can’t think of much right now but for one thing his speech is a bit different. He somehow speaks less complex”

“He can do that?”

“Of course he can” she sighed and flinched when someone touched her shoulder. She was just about to turn around and tell the person to leave her alone when she saw it was Spock “Hey” she beamed and squeezed his hand.

“I did not mean to startle you”

“It’s okay. Can-can I do something for you?”

“As a matter of fact, I have left my colleagues because I believed I would be able to do something for you. Tell me, Carissa, is Ensign Cook bothering you?” 

“Ensign?” Evan frowned 

“Well, we’re not cadets anymore” she turned back to her boyfriend “But no, he’s not bothering me. I’ve just told him about us and he’s having troubles to understand” 

“I see” 

“Well uh, I guess I better leave” Evan said, scratching the back of his head before he disappeared. 

“So, now that you’re here once… would you like to do something? With me, I mean” 

“Could you specify what you have in mind?” 

“Honestly… I don’t really know. Hey, we could go back to Nicole and Lucie. Then you can meet Tanja” 

“Am I right with the assumption that Miss Tanja is the accompaniment your friend was waiting for at the Academy?” 

“Right. Her girlfriend” Spock raised an eyebrow “Is something wrong with that?” 

“There is not. I merely am not very familiar with homosexuality” 

“Oh. Isn’t that a thing among Vulcans?” 

“No. We usually do not mate unless we have to and so it would be illogical to take a mate of the same sex” 

“Okay. So most Vulcans only marry to have children?” 

“Correct”

“But… can I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to” 

“If it interests you I shall give you an answer”

“However, if you say that Vulcans only get married because they want kids… why would your father take a human wife? I mean… if you want kids you’ll probably want Vulcan children, right?” 

“Not all Vulcans marry out of this reason, Carissa and my father was one of them. He has told me that he has chosen my mother because of his love for her” 

“Oh” she didn’t know what to say.

“Does this surprise you?” 

“Kinda. I mean… it doesn’t really surprise me he loved her. More that he admitted it towards you” 

“I understand” 

“Well, let’s go and hang out with my friends” she tugged on his sleeve.


	16. To the Limit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the last chapter of the first installment of this Series. Next up: Passing Boundaries

Later on, they were joined by Jim again, who informed them that the other crewmembers had left. By now, the Captain already seemed a little drunk and was constantly leaning against the Vulcan, who first tried to stop him but then had to accept it.

“Who’s in for a game?” 

“Drinking game?” Nicole asked

“What else” he grinned and patted both women’s backs “Come on that’ll be fun. Hey Spock, why don’t you join us too?” 

“I am not sure if I will enjoy such an entertainment”

“Okay, nothing stupid like spin the bottle then… Truth or dare?” 

“Nah” Jim shook his head upon Nicole’s idea 

“What about ‘Never have I ever?’” Carissa said 

“That’s good” Jim pointed at her and Nicole agreed too. “I bet you don’t know how it works, do you?”

“Your assumption is correct”

“Okay, each of us gets a drink. Someone starts and makes a statement like “Never have I ever kissed someone” and everyone who has done it, has to take a sip. Then the next person makes a statement about something they never did and those who did it drink and so on. Pretty easy” he went to the bar and ordered eight beers “We might need a little more” he said as he gave each of them one and held the rest of them in his arms. Spock eyed his bottle critically but said nothing.

“Where do we go? Outside?”

“Why not? We don’t wanna disturb the others with a drinking Vulcan” he nudged his friend’s side before he headed towards the door. The others followed him and Carissa placed a hand on her boyfriend’s arm

“You don’t have to join us or participate if you don’t want to” 

“I can at least give the game a try”

“That’s the spirit” she patted his arm and once they were outside, she pecked the corner of his mouth. They sat down in a circle with the bottles in their hands 

“Well, I think the youngest should begin” Jim’s eyes flickered between Carissa and Nicole whereupon the latter gave a nod 

“Alright. Uhm… Never have I ever been in a relationship” it somehow surprised Carissa that Jim didn’t drink 

“And?” Jim asked Spock after he lowered his bottle

“I am certain you are aware of my relationship with Carissa, Jim”

“No, I meant how d’you like it? The beer?”

“I cannot understand how humans enjoy the taste of this beverage” 

“It’s not very good, I admit” Carissa said “But it’s for the effect that you drink it” 

“Which seems even more illogical” Jim rolled his eyes

“Who now? I’d say ladies first” 

“Okay. Never have I ever… stolen something” only Jim took a sip. She glanced to Spock, who was next to her

“Spock?” Jim asked “Your turn”

“I have never participated in a game such as this before” 

“You’re supposed to start the sentence with ‘Never have I ever’” Jim corrected 

“Oh let him be” Carissa said and took her sip as did everyone else “Jim? Your turn” she asked 

“Alright… never have I ever…” he tapped his chin with the top of his bottle “finished the Academy properly” when everyone drank, he grinned “I’m just better than you”

“I do believe even Carissa has had a higher score than you could have achieved” 

“Oh Spock that really wasn’t nice. Nicole?”

“Uhh… never have I ever been in a fistfight” Carissa frowned 

“Does it count if I just punched and kicked someone?”

“Why that?” she grinned

“In elementary school, my Mum prepared me these pancakes that looked like a cute panda bear… then this bitch of Eliane slapped my lunchbox out of my hand and they fell to the ground. I kicked her two times and shoved her” 

“Lesson number one, never separate Carissa from her panda-pancakes” Jim chuckled 

“But do I need to take a sip?”

“Did she fight back?” 

“No” 

“Then it wasn’t a fistfight”

“Ah no wait” Carissa said and took a sip “On missions I fought two people. A Romulan and one of Marcus’ crew”

“I’m more surprised that Spock’s been in such a fight” Nicole said

“Oh right” Carissa remembered that Leonard had told her about his fight with Jim on their first mission together. 

“Cassie, your turn” Nicole said

“Never have I ever… broken a bone. Which is a miracle, given how clumsy I am” only Jim drank and Nicole giggled

“Clumsy like the time you tried to put on your school bag so quickly, forgetting it was open so you sent some items in it flying around the room before the force of putting it on like that made you trip and fall over, seconds before you got your water bottle onto your head”

“Yep like that or ripping down the shampoo holder because I sneezed in the shower and grabbed it when I slipped”

“I think my favorite one is still when you sideways fell off the chair because you leant down to pet Blacky and then he triumphantly climbed onto you, to get onto your chair” Carissa gave a nod and chuckled at the memory, then everyone looked at Spock 

“Never have I witnessed a meteorite impact with my own eyes”

“You’re absolutely no fun” Jim pouted “no one of us did that. Alright, my turn. Never have I ever fallen into a volcano and refused to be rescued” Nicole frowned when Spock took a sip, then it was her turn. 

“Never have I ever set foot on a planet that wasn’t earth” everyone took a sip 

“Haven’t you been to a planet during your internship?”

“We did, but I wasn’t allowed to go. I had to stay back on the ship” Nicole pouted.

“Oh alright. Maybe now, when you start on your ship” Carissa put her bottle on the ground “Never have I ever… killed someone” to her surprise Spock was the only one who drank

“What?” Nicole exclaimed “He’s the last person I would have expected to kill someone” 

“Technically, he’s the one who made sure the black hole that swallowed the Narada was created… at least that’s the only way I could explain it” Carissa said, looking at her boyfriend who agreed. “Anyways, your turn”

“Never have I ever lied to my parents” 

“Oh always the role model” Jim said before he took a large sip “Never have I ever been bullied” both Carissa and Spock drank. “Wait what?” Jim shouted, turning to his First Officer “Who the hell has bullied you?”

“I may not be as familiar with this game as you are but as far as I know, there is no rule that obliges anyone to tell details about the scenario” 

“He is right though” Carissa said, somehow feeling sure that he must have had a hard time at the Academy. After all his grades must have been much better than hers and she was sure they also made jokes about his heritage. Suddenly she wondered how his time at the Academy had been. Were the classes easy for him or not? Who did he share a dorm with and did they get along? Maybe someone from the Enterprise had been at the Academy with him?

A few rounds later, Nicole said that she had had enough and thought it was better if she stopped now before she regretted it. At this, also Spock decided to quit the game (which probably was due to the fact that Jim started making statements such as ‘Never have I ever lost my planet’, ‘Never have I ever met a future version of myself’ or ‘Never ever have I ever dumped my girlfriend to protect her’) but in contrast to Nicole, he stayed to watch how Carissa and the Captain continued.

“You’re gonne lose, Carriessay” she rose both her eyebrows.

“Oh we’ll see. My turn. Never have I ever come up with a stupid nickname such as Carriessay” 

“Just you wait” Jim said after he drank “Never have I ever kissed a Vulcan” 

“Never have I ever been Captain of a ship”

“Never have I ever been in a relationship with a Vulcan” 

“Never have I ever slept with a girl”

“Never have I ever had hair longer than my shoulders” 

“Never have I ever lost my father”

“Below the belt…” he growled “Never have I ever kissed a man”

“Never have I ever… had sex when I wasn’t in a relationship with someone”

“Never have I ever been abducted by Romulans”

“Technically I haven’t been abducted… I went to them and they held me captive…” 

“Damnit”

“Okay, never have I ever… had sex with a girl” 

“Hey! You said that already” Jim protested

“Oh… Never have I ever beaten up a cadet who was later on expelled for that”

“Never have I ever been held hostage by Romulans” 

“Never have I ever saved my friend out of a volcano”

“Never have I ever saved my boyfriend from a science lab” 

“Never have I ever….uh…”

“Ha you ran out of ideas. Never have I ever known my father” 

“It’s still my turn. Just give me time” she shrieked.

“Fine. Then you say two things now. Unless you’re out of ideas and admit that I won” 

“Never. Never have I ever urged my friend to give up in this game. And never have I ever been called Jim”

“Pathetic. Never have I ever been killed”

“Hey, you died too” 

“Yeah but I wasn’t killed”

“Right. Never have I ever did something that killed me”

“Never have I ever been Junior Lieutenant”

“Never have I ever cheated on a test”

“Wait, I need a new drink!” he got up wobbly and left, only to return a little later with two bottles in his hands and sat down “Never have I ever had breasts” 

“Never have I ever had sex with a non-human?” as always he drank 

“You two really didn’t?”

“No. But it’s none of your concern” she suddenly realized that she was quite drunk but she didn’t care. “Your turn”

“Never have I ever had a boyfriend” 

“Never have I ever deavica-deactivated a drill” 

“You have!”

“No, that wasn’t me! I just sat beside Spock when he did it” she shouted back. 

“Good. Never have I ever lived with my partner”

“Never have I ever met a Klingon” 

“Never have I ever been dumped”

“We’re back together” she protested

“Yet he dumped you. Bottoms up” she grumbled but took a sip. 

“Never have I ever played with someone just because I wanted sex” 

“Never have I ever worn a dress”

“Never have I ever died of radiation poisoning” 

“We had that already!” 

“No. I said that I haven’t died because I did something. No mention of radiation” she turned to Spock “Tell him I’m right”

“I believe it would be wiser if you stopped this game now. You are only trying to get each other drunk”

“That’s the point of it, know-it-all” Jim said, rolling his eyes.

“I do not see the sense in that”

“You hear him?” Jim snorted “He’s no fun”

“Nope” Carissa grinned “What about our game?” 

“Let’s call it even and we’ll get a rematch”

“Good” they touched their bottles and finished them. Only now Carissa saw that she had drunken four bottles of beer. She shrugged and got up and would have landed flat on the floor if her boyfriend hadn’t been quick enough to support her “Thanks” she grinned and patted his cheek. Now that she was standing, she realized that she probably was a bit more intoxicated than she had believed. “Oopsie. I’m drunk” she giggled.

“Assuming you weigh 73 kilograms, your blood alcohol level should be at….” 

“Oh no, don’t be a spoilsport, Spock” Jim protested “Just for once” 

“Hey” Carissa shouted “I know why Vulcans have pointy ears!” 

“Because they’re hobgoblins”

“No. Because they’re pointy-headed” she started laughing 

“Carissa I deem it better to bring you home”

“What? Only because I insulted you?” 

“Although your statement was unnecessary and immature, I did not take offense” 

“See? All good, we stay. The party isn’t over yet” she raised her arm in a yell of triumph.

“May I remind you that I have promised I would not make decisions for you but I strongly advise that you reconsider this one” 

“Why?” she asked, blinking at him.

“Because you’re drunk” Jim said and gave a vigorous nod “Though I’d have ne-hever expected you to handle that much beer. Respect” he hiccupped.

“Jim, may I advise you to consider retreating as well?” 

“Nope. I’m the Captain and I say we all stay. Carrie, that’s an order” Carissa let out a squeal and hopped on the spot. At least as good as she could without falling.

“I am careful to point out that we are neither on a ship nor on duty, which gives you no authority over members of your crew” 

“Spoilsport. You’ll get that back, you damned, green-blooded, boring, little goblin” 

“That’s mean!” Carissa protested.

“Yeah? I’m only getting started. Watch this, you pointy-eared, bigoted computer” 

“You calling me names indicates that you feel angered by me”

“Damn right you are, bowl-cut Legolas” at first, the girl snickered then started laughing. She didn’t even know why she found Jim’s insult so funny, more so Spock’s reaction when he explained that there was no mention of elves having pointy ears in Tolkien’s books. Then suddenly she felt her stomach turn and sickness welled in her. She managed to make one step before she vomited and fell to her knees. “Ha, I knew you couldn’t handle it!” Jim yelled whereas Spock knelt down to place a hand on Carissa’s back.

“I-I think you’re right” she pressed out when she was done “I’d better go home” 

“What? You too? You’re boring! Boo. That’s why you two work out so well” 

“It is good to hear that you made a sensible decision”

“In human speech ‘Tee-hee I was right’” 

“Shut up” Carissa mumbled as her boyfriend helped her up “I hate you, it’s your fault, you made me drink so much!” she whined, pointing at him and crossed her arms. Then she turned to Spock “I’m mad at him, let’s go” she said, grabbing his hand and tugging on it. Again the Vulcan told the Captain that it would be better if we went home too then he followed Carissa back inside to inform her friends that they left. “Nia, I’m going hoooome” she shrieked when she saw her dorm mate.

“Oh Carissa, how much did you… Oh I see… Do you want me to bring you… never mind” she grinned.

“What’s up? Why’d you stop?” 

“I thought it would be better if you weren’t alone, so I offered you to stay with you when I heard your boyfriend think that he wanted to take you to his place anyway” 

“Oh” Spock explained that he didn’t want Nialaxe to feel obliged to leave the party just yet and that he probably shouldn’t stay in Carissa’s dorm for a longer time and he definitely didn’t want to leave her alone in that state. After Carissa said goodbye to her friends, they left the building and Spock took the lead. Feeling very talkative, Carissa found herself telling him about a time she had gotten lost on an excursion in elementary school when she mounted the wrong train. “But then this train was broken and I had to get out a few stations later. No idea where I was and I just wanted to go back and I got into the next train I saw. I didn’t know that this tr… oh look!” she squealed, pointing at the little fountain she had spotted “I’m going for a swim. I’ve always wanted to do that. I even said that I’ll do it when I graduate.”

“No Carissa, this is not a fortunate idea” 

“Why not?” 

“Seeing as the depth of the water only is one feet four, it is too shallow for you to swim” 

“Then I can’t drown” she giggled and let go of him, hurried over to the fountain and got into the water “That’s nice” she said, liking the cool water on her skin. 

“Carissa, get out of there” 

“No” she huffed and started laughing again 

“You will get wet and ruin your clothing”

“So what? Come and get me” she giggled and started hoping away from him, splashing water everywhere. Much to her surprise Spock actually stepped into the water as well and lifted her back on the grassy area by holding her under her armpits “Heeeeee” she screamed at him “You ruined my fun” she slapped his chest “Now I’m mad at you. So, so mad”

“I am quite certain this does not comply with the truth”

“Yes it does” she protested “and because of that I’m never gonna kiss you again!” He took her hand again and held it tightly. “I’m not a small child”

“Then I suggest you stopped behaving like one”

“I don’t” she stomped her foot and solely him raising an eyebrow was enough to tell her that he was right. The rest of the way, Carissa tried to finish her story about the time she got lost on the school expedition. But since she didn’t remember where she had stopped she started from the beginning.

“So then I was at this station and was crying because I realized I was lost. A worker came to me and he was an alien, I forgot the species but I thought I wasn’t on earth anymore. Because you know, where I live there are no non-humans. Of course I knew they live on earth but Mum and Dad always said they live far away. So yeah, I thought maybe far away means another planet. Because I did know that already” Somehow, she felt glad when they arrived at Spock’s apartment. 

“May I suggest that you head to bed?”

“I’m not tired” she shook her head frantically. “In fact, I could stay up all night” 

“Yet it would be wiser for you to engage in an activity that will make you feel more relaxed. However, beforehand you had better change your clothes. I do not recommend you wearing your wetted dress”

“Uhhhh” she wiggled her eyebrows and giggled “If you want me to strip you could have asked…” she mumbled when she opened her dress and slipped out of it. “Hey! You didn’t even watch!” she protested when she saw that he must have quickly turned around. 

“It would not be appropriate to take advantage of the situation” 

“So you admit you do want to see me like this?”

“Not if it causes you uncomfortableness” she made silent sound as she shrugged.

“You’re sweet. But I don’t have anything else to wear… so you’ll probably see me in underwear sooner or later” she chuckled and walked towards him to wrap her arms around him. He stiffened and she buried her face in his back. “You’re comfortable” she mumbled. 

“You may choose a piece of clothing from me if you like”

“Then you’ll never that that back. It’s girlfriend law”

“I believe that I am not familiar with this law. Would you mind elaborating?” 

“When you give something to your girlfriend, like a shirt, you’ll never get it back” 

“I fail to understand why someone should steal from their partner”

“It’s not stealing… it’s just… not wanting to give it back or forgetting it. Or it’s a mutual understanding that she can keep it.”

“I do not agree with this explanation”

“Okay, what if I promise to give it back? Would you lend me something then?” 

“If you can recall; I have not taken back my offer to do so after you have informed me about this… rule” 

“Oh, right, I forgot. Digging further is not necessary because you’ll tell me if you change your mind and only say things you’re okay with….” she tapped her temple “Gotta remember that one day…” 

-oO0Oo-

After she got changed she wanted to join her boyfriend in the kitchen but he sent her to bed. When she tried to protest she yawned, whereupon she angrily stomped to the bedroom. But instead of trying to sleep, she started jumping on the bed and giggled. Suddenly the door opened.

“I am certain that you have agreed to go to bed” 

“I am in bed” she defended herself. “You never said I was supposed to lie down and tuck myself up” she grinned 

“Then I have wrongly assumed you will come to this conclusion yourself”

“But I don’t wanna sleep. And I did what you said. So you can’t be mad” she pouted.

“Your assumption that I am discontent with your actions is incorrect. I merely deem it better if you lied down and tried to sleep” she bit her lip as she sat down on the bed

“But I’m bored” she looked at him “Can-can you stay a couple of minutes and talk to me?”

“No reason speaks against this” she let out a silent squeal and swiftly slipped under the covers, patting the bedside. He sat down “No” she protested “lie with me”

“I do not think this would be proper”

“Why? Because we could fall asleep and then we slept in the same bed?” 

“This is one of the reasons. However, I could hold your hand if it would make you happy” 

“Yes” she said and took his hand before he did something. “I still couldn’t finish telling you how I finally got home that day” she said after a yawn before she continued her story.

\- 

The next morning, she woke up with a throbbing head “Damn you, Jim” she muttered as she slowly sat up. With a smile she realized what she was wearing and couldn’t help but sniff it. To her surprise she found Spock in the kitchen, looking at something on his PADD, two plates of breakfast ready 

“Oh. Did you wait for me?” she asked “You could have just eaten” she pressed a kiss to his hair before she took a seat on the second chair. “I’m sorry” 

“What is this apology for?” 

“Everything… how I behaved yesterday when I was drunk and that I slept so long” 

“Carissa, as both points you have mentioned were caused by your intoxication there is no need for an apology”

“But I could have just drunken less. Wait. Drink, drank, drunk… or drunken?” 

“Drunk” came the prompt answer. She moaned slightly

“That are times I just feel stupid… English isn’t even your native language, yet you know everything about its grammar and you definitely know far more words than I do…”

“This is not quite correct. I have been raised bilingual and I am more fluent in English than in Vulcan”

“Oh, I didn’t know that… God, my head feels fuzzy” she groaned as she pulled the plate closer and started eating. “I uh… did we really talk about me moving back in with you yesterday? I mean because I’ll probably need to leave my dorm?”

“I cannot remember such a conversation”

“Means it never happened… Damn, I could have sworn…. It must have been a dream” 

“However, you are most welcome to stay here should you wish to do so” 

“Oh, thanks. But I think I’m fine. I mean, they can’t really throw us out of our dorms, what about the cadets that stay here over the holidays? Okay, I won’t be coming back and they probably will need to prepare my place for Nia’s new dorm mate but they can’t throw me out just yet” she said, looking at him as if waiting for a confirmation which followed not much later. “Do you… have you anything planned for today?” she asked “From all I know you should have the day off, right?”

“That is correct. Did you inquire this because you were hoping to spend the day with me?”

“Why does that sound like you’re not okay with this?”

“I did not intend my question being interpreted like that as I would not mind to spend the day with you at all”

“Great” she beamed “I only need to get to my dorm to put on something proper… not that your shirt isn’t good but… well just not on me. And the dress isn’t much better either”

“If you allow me saying so, I believe that dress does suits you excellently” 

“Was that just a compliment meaning that I looked beautiful?” she joked. 

“Although this were not my words, your assumption is correct. However, the dress only increased your natural beautifulness by a small factor” she felt her cheeks heating up. Somehow she had not expected that at all.

“Thank you” she mumbled and looked down. 

“You do not need to thank me for expressing my opinion” 

“It means a lot to me anyway. You rarely ever compliment me” 

“Does this fact bother you?” 

“No, it doesn’t. It just makes moments like these even better”

-oO0Oo-

The nearer the departure came, the more nervous Carissa got. But first was the official rechristening ceremony of the Enterprise to which she logically had to go as new crewmember of the ship. Also some of her friend came so Carissa took a seat beside them until she realized that she’d better sit with her new colleagues. Some of the people beside her looked at her with a not so happy expressions while others gave her an encouraging smile. Then Jim started his speech and everyone looked at him instead.

“There will always be those who try to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves. Our first instinct is to seek revenge when those we love are taken from us. But that’s not who we are. We are here today to rechristen the USS Enterprise and to honor those who lost their lives nearly one year ago” somehow Carissa couldn’t help but smile at this. Technically that included her and the Captain as well, they just were lucky enough to be revived. “When Christopher Pike first gave me his ship he had me recite the Captain’s oath. Words I didn’t appreciate at the time. Now I see them as a call for us to remember who we once were and who we must be again. And those words? Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her five year mission to explore strange new worlds and seek out new life and new civilization. To boldly go where no one has gone before” he gave a nod as if to signalize that he was done. A part of her was surprised that the speech wasn’t longer. But then the Head of Starfleet, Admiral Marcus’ successor, went onto the platform at the front to hold his own speech before the official part was over. Now Carissa searched for her friends again to join them.

“I can’t believe you’ll be leaving in two days”

“To be exact we’ll be gone in 45 hours and 17 minutes” she said checking her watch

“Oh come on” Nicole muttered “Don’t tell me your boyfriend’s rubbing off on you that much”

“No, I calculated that myself. Did so ever since only five days were left. It’s like my personal countdown” she explained

“Ah. God Cassie, I really don’t want you to go… but I’m also happy for you”

“Yeah, sometimes I wish I could stay too…. what if I get too homesick?”

“Sneak into Spock’s bed in the middle of the night” Lucie said with a snicker

“Oh I’m sure he’ll love that”

“He’ll get used to it” Nicole said with a shrug and grinned.

“Are you trying to say I’ll be homesick that often?”

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll grow closer by being on that same ship anyway. Just like you did when you lived together”

“Or maybe he’ll actually propose to you one day? Do you think married Vulcans sleep in the same bed?”

“No idea. But I have a feeling you’ll find out one day” Carissa shook her head but couldn’t bite back a grin.

“You’re just impossible…”

“Oh admit it, you’ll miss us”

“Of course I will!”

-oO0Oo-

All too soon the day of the departure came. Since she had already brought most of her things into her new quarters yesterday, she only had her rucksack with her most important items with her when she went into the shuttle that would take her to the space dock of the ship. When the shuttle started, she dug her fingers into her seat, not wanting to think about the fact she probably wouldn’t set a foot on Earth in the next five years. Maybe she even wouldn’t be able to go onto planets or solid ground that often. On the other hand, she was a biologist, so she’d probably get onto a planet before she really knew it. Once on the ship, she went to the quarter that would be her home in the next five years and let out a sigh. Being a Junior Lieutenant meant that she had them to herself but somehow she didn’t know if she should be glad about this or not. After she unpacked her last belongings, she put on the uniform that was folded neatly on her bed. Her index finger ran over the insignia on her chest and she smiled. Then she left her room, ready to report for duty in the laboratory. Upon her arrival she greeted her superior and her new colleagues and stood around a bit unsure what to do.

“You’re Ensign Riley, right?” the head of the laboratory said as he approached her.

“Junior Lieutenant Wiley” she corrected, suppressing a sigh.

“Sorry” he mumbled “Well, welcome anyway. My name is Zacharias Duncan. I suppose you already know Ensign Benedict Hammond? You’ve been at the Academy together, right?”

“Yep” she said

“Good, because he’ll be the one you will be working with mostly. If you want I can give you a short tour and introduce everyone once Mr Hammond joined us?”

“I think that would be a good idea”

“This isn’t your first journey to space, is it? I mean apart from your traineeship”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been on two other missions... one and half and two and half a years ago. Amusingly, the first time I ever went to space was on this ship, when it had its maiden voyage”

“The mission on Vulcan?”

“Yeah”

“Ah well, I haven’t been there back then”

“Okay. I’ve been on the bridge then anyway”

“Why that?”

“I wasn’t actually working… I just wanted to have a look what it was like. I mean, I only was a second year after all” she replied. The door opened and three more workers came in, nodding at them and took a seat.

“I see. I can show you your workstation if you want.”

“Sure” she nodded and he led her to a chair some feet away.

“Mr Hammond’s place will be right next to you. I supposed it was best to place you two together since you already know each other and it would be good so that you can try to help each other when something happens”

“That makes sense” she smiled as she took a seat on the chair.

“If you excuse me, I have other people to welcome”

“Of course. Thank you” she took a deep breath and started unpacking her things. Benedict joined her a few minutes later.

“Hi Carissa. Nice to see a familiar face”

“Same here”

“Ready for deep space?”

“I have to” she chuckled “Nervous?”

“You can’t even imagine how much”

“Yeah, me too”

“So what did you do in the past weeks?”

“Not much. Mentally preparing myself for this. And you? Did you go home to your family?”

“Yes. I only came back yesterday”

“Then you missed the rechristening of the ship”

“Do you really think that I ‘missed’ something though?”

“Well, you could get to know a few people from the crew and see some of our old classmates. But the festivity itself… not really” she admitted, internally thinking it was wrong and egoistic of him not to come.

“Okay. That’s what I thought. But hey’ we’ll get to know the crew now anyway”

“Definitely” suddenly they felt that the ship was moving and only seconds later they went into Warp. Carissa grabbed the tabletop, fully knowing she’d have to get used to this first. “That’s it. Bye Earth” she mumbled, making Benedict grin. Again the Head of the laboratory came to speak to them and said he now could introduce everyone since all workers had arrived. They managed to talk to three of the thirteen people when the Captain started a broadcast

“Crew of the Enterprise, it is my honor to welcome you back aboard or have you here for the first time. Mere minutes ago we have started our five year mission to pass boundaries and explore as much of this universe as possible. I’m not a fan of long and moving speeches, so I’ll leave it there. Next stop, New Vulcan”


End file.
